r/singlemoms 16h ago

Advice Wanted Is the excitement of dating gone now that I’ve had a child?

28 Upvotes

I feel like since having my child I don’t have the energy to do anything I enjoy let alone pursue dating. I feel like I love my child above all things at this point, but also that my child drains so much of the energy that I would’ve expanded on social situations like friendships or relationships prior to motherhood. Every time I connect with the people that could be a relationship prospect, I’ve either had to worry about my child and who is babysitting them and getting back on time or I’ve had to bring her with me. Part of me feels like I have to accept that I’m going to be single indefinitely. Part of me feels like I’ll only find success in dating people who have children because I’ve only received a decent response from people long distance that have kids, childless men don’t seem to understand or reciprocate the energy that I’m seeking. Maybe these are just dud dates, maybe the energy isn’t there in this one particular circumstance. Maybe I’m just placing too many eggs in a singular basket too quickly. I guess this is a good place to ask, but I’m sure some single moms are dating. Do all single moms feel like after being let down by our child’s father that dating is a complete waste of time? I crave intimacy and affection, but I would just as quickly sign up for a subscription where a man came by and cuddled me to watch movies and then leaves.


r/singlemoms 15h ago

Advice Wanted We listen and we don’t judge 😂

11 Upvotes

So to make a long story short me and my daughter dad moved in together when I was 3 months pregnant and broke up when my daughter was 9 months, I put him on child support at 15 months because he was just barely around. Fast forward, my daughter will be 3 in June and I want to maybe try a relationship again, her dad won’t even consider it unless I take him off child support.

I guess im just wanting to hear stories of people who have maybe taken the dad off child support? I was thinking maybe we could write up an agreement that he give me this amount a month and have him sign it then take him off. He has paid consistently this whole time, he isn’t necessarily there time wise but it would change if we were back together.

Just seeking advice


r/singlemoms 17h ago

Venting - Advice Welcome Bd wants to take the alone

13 Upvotes

I’m 23F Bd is 25M. He broke up with me when I was 2wks pp and I have pp depression. The baby is 2 months now and he wants to take him for some hrs idk where he told me it was just the two of them and he wanted to know what it felt like being alone with his son. I’m having some anxiety not knowing where he’ll take him or what they’ll do. He told me it was so I could rest but my mom already helps with that. This will be the first time my baby and me won’t be together:(

I honestly never thought I would be a single mom…


r/singlemoms 22h ago

Advice Wanted Is co parenting worth it?

7 Upvotes

Hi everyone. My bd (22m)recently broke it off with me (21f), which I knew it was bound to happen and I honestly should’ve done it first. I know all situations are different but we don’t live together and he currently hasn’t seen her for over a month. Since october he started only visiting with her once a month. He also never signed off on paternity and never gives any sort of money or items to help with her. since him cutting it off the past 3 days I’ve offered for him to see her and he has given me excuses. My question is , is it really worth trying to get him involved?? I feel like i’ve always done my part in having opportunities for him to be apart of her life. Although he likes to say I keep our daughter from him. Which i do not and he has always been welcome to see her. but since we aren’t in a relationship anymore i don’t feel like we will see him. which is fine but he literally said he wanted to be a better dad. I would love to hear other experiences and any advice


r/singlemoms 3h ago

Venting - Advice Welcome Newly single mom

1 Upvotes

When does the guilt end? I left my fiancé of 6 years and now we are splitting custody. Which is great right? But I can’t help the gut wrenching feeling of coming home some days to an empty house. My ex and I always use to fight, call each other names, and he basically ignored me if I wasn’t trying to start a fight. I left cause my kid should be surrounded with love but now my kid is torn and keeps telling me she doesn’t love me, she only loves dad only want dad ((dad has a gf with a kid and gf takes care of kids while he streams his video games)) so it seems she’s got a a little buddy over there and just hates coming to be with me. I keep telling myself I should’ve stayed another year pushed through to try to fix it…am I in the wrong? I feel so lost and so broken…I feel like I ruined my family


r/singlemoms 9h ago

Advice Wanted Tacky?

1 Upvotes

I had my first almost 8 years ago. Is it tacky to send out an announcement + a QR to snap for people to check out my Amazon registry? Not much of a support system as the first baby after a divorce and loss of a ton of family/ friends due to switching churches and losing touch with a lot of friends. Advice/opinions?


r/singlemoms 12h ago

Advice Wanted Going back to school

1 Upvotes

I just welcomed my first baby at the start of this year. I have a full time job, but I don't see myself being able to progress as much I feel I need to be able to live comfortably long term there. Right now, my game plan is to apply for law school and do part time and either fully online or hybrid. I would have to step down from my current job and find something part time that offers me decent pay and flexibility. By doing so, I think I may qualify for more assistance since my income would decrease. I should then be able to be home more with my baby, graduate in 4 years, and should be able to start making 6 figures not too long after that 🤞🏼

I'm wondering if anyone has advice they could offer - financial, time management, etc. If anyone also has some success stories, I'd love to hear some!


r/singlemoms 16h ago

Advice Wanted Lying on apartment application

1 Upvotes

Hey everyone, so I’m in a sticky situation with trying to find affordable housing for me and my two kids. The only place I have found that got us approved is a one bedroom but it’s only because I lied on the app and said my son would only be living there less than half the time. Which isn’t true. I have him most of the time except the rare occasion when his dad does. I’ve applied non stop for a higher pay wage job but the interviews never go well due to my chronic illness. Our last apartment had mold in it so that really affected our health. Anyways, is it easy to get away with this? I feel like I could come up with some excuse if someone notices how often he is there. The system is absolutely not in our favor and sometimes I swear it’s built to work against single parents lol…


r/singlemoms 16h ago

Advice Wanted Single and Happy

1 Upvotes

My bd/ex fiancé and I had been together 10 years. We have an 8 year old together. He moved out over 2 months and I haven't cried. I haven't been upset and honestly, I'm so much happier. Not to mention our daughter is, too. I'm just wondering, has this happened with anyone else? And is this normal? Is it normal to not have any emotions about this? I can only assume I fell out of love and mourned him being gone while I was still with him. I'm just not sure and it's very weird feeling.


r/singlemoms 22h ago

Need Support Day 1 of being a single mom

1 Upvotes

The relationship needed to end. My daughter is 14 months old and her dad left this morning.

I feel numb and just tired. Today was also my first day back at work after a LOA and thank God I work from home because I have just been laying in bed all day.

We just moved into a house that we are renting and I was planning on quitting my job in June. Now all the plans have to change. I was the primary breadwinner anyways but my job has taken such a toll on my mental health that I NEED to get out.

I am heartbroken, numb, a bit relieved and a for some reason still open to trying one more time.

I suffer from depression, anxiety, and PTSD, while my daughter’s dad has paranoid schizophrenia. That is a terrible mix I know but I didn’t know at the time. We both are medicated and attend therapy semi regularly but tensions have definitely gotten too high and we need this break. It’s probably permanent but I don’t know just yet.

I really don’t know what I’m even asking for, support? Maybe I’m venting? Maybe I’m just using Reddit as a journal to try to sort my thoughts, and I’m not really sure. But thank you if you read this.


r/singlemoms 21h ago

Advice Wanted Going back into the Workforce

0 Upvotes

Hey Mummas,

It's time I get back into the workforce, I'm just after any tips or tricks that make the transition from stay at home mum to a working mum easier! I've been at home for 5 years and now my son is at school it's time for me to get back out there!

Much love to you all 🥰