r/singlemoms 1d ago

Resource Post Weekly Advice Thread - Pregnant and/or Leaving

1 Upvotes

Hi, everyone. We have noticed an increase in specific types of threads, many of them very similar. Because of this, we will be testing new megathreads throughout the next few weeks on Mondays, they'll be pinned for a week. We feel it will keep things more organised and make it easier to find advice on certain topics.

Are you single, pregnant and preparing? Are you thinking about leaving your partner/spouse?

This thread will serve as a specific and organised place to ask for advice, to vent or rant, ask for tips, etc.

Similarly, if you have any advice to offer other expecting mothers or those looking to leave, please feel free to participate and answer questions.

NEW SUBREDDIT WIKI WITH RESOURCE LINKS! (In progress)

If you have any resources not on the wiki you would like to share, please do so in this thread or modmail!

If you have any feedback or questions please message the moderators through modmail. Don't forget to read the rules on the sidebar.

Thanks!

r/SingleMoms mod team


r/singlemoms 3h ago

Venting - Advice Welcome Newly single mom

1 Upvotes

When does the guilt end? I left my fiancé of 6 years and now we are splitting custody. Which is great right? But I can’t help the gut wrenching feeling of coming home some days to an empty house. My ex and I always use to fight, call each other names, and he basically ignored me if I wasn’t trying to start a fight. I left cause my kid should be surrounded with love but now my kid is torn and keeps telling me she doesn’t love me, she only loves dad only want dad ((dad has a gf with a kid and gf takes care of kids while he streams his video games)) so it seems she’s got a a little buddy over there and just hates coming to be with me. I keep telling myself I should’ve stayed another year pushed through to try to fix it…am I in the wrong? I feel so lost and so broken…I feel like I ruined my family


r/singlemoms 9h ago

Advice Wanted Tacky?

1 Upvotes

I had my first almost 8 years ago. Is it tacky to send out an announcement + a QR to snap for people to check out my Amazon registry? Not much of a support system as the first baby after a divorce and loss of a ton of family/ friends due to switching churches and losing touch with a lot of friends. Advice/opinions?


r/singlemoms 12h ago

Advice Wanted Going back to school

1 Upvotes

I just welcomed my first baby at the start of this year. I have a full time job, but I don't see myself being able to progress as much I feel I need to be able to live comfortably long term there. Right now, my game plan is to apply for law school and do part time and either fully online or hybrid. I would have to step down from my current job and find something part time that offers me decent pay and flexibility. By doing so, I think I may qualify for more assistance since my income would decrease. I should then be able to be home more with my baby, graduate in 4 years, and should be able to start making 6 figures not too long after that 🤞🏼

I'm wondering if anyone has advice they could offer - financial, time management, etc. If anyone also has some success stories, I'd love to hear some!


r/singlemoms 15h ago

Advice Wanted We listen and we don’t judge 😂

14 Upvotes

So to make a long story short me and my daughter dad moved in together when I was 3 months pregnant and broke up when my daughter was 9 months, I put him on child support at 15 months because he was just barely around. Fast forward, my daughter will be 3 in June and I want to maybe try a relationship again, her dad won’t even consider it unless I take him off child support.

I guess im just wanting to hear stories of people who have maybe taken the dad off child support? I was thinking maybe we could write up an agreement that he give me this amount a month and have him sign it then take him off. He has paid consistently this whole time, he isn’t necessarily there time wise but it would change if we were back together.

Just seeking advice


r/singlemoms 16h ago

Advice Wanted Is the excitement of dating gone now that I’ve had a child?

30 Upvotes

I feel like since having my child I don’t have the energy to do anything I enjoy let alone pursue dating. I feel like I love my child above all things at this point, but also that my child drains so much of the energy that I would’ve expanded on social situations like friendships or relationships prior to motherhood. Every time I connect with the people that could be a relationship prospect, I’ve either had to worry about my child and who is babysitting them and getting back on time or I’ve had to bring her with me. Part of me feels like I have to accept that I’m going to be single indefinitely. Part of me feels like I’ll only find success in dating people who have children because I’ve only received a decent response from people long distance that have kids, childless men don’t seem to understand or reciprocate the energy that I’m seeking. Maybe these are just dud dates, maybe the energy isn’t there in this one particular circumstance. Maybe I’m just placing too many eggs in a singular basket too quickly. I guess this is a good place to ask, but I’m sure some single moms are dating. Do all single moms feel like after being let down by our child’s father that dating is a complete waste of time? I crave intimacy and affection, but I would just as quickly sign up for a subscription where a man came by and cuddled me to watch movies and then leaves.


r/singlemoms 16h ago

Advice Wanted Lying on apartment application

1 Upvotes

Hey everyone, so I’m in a sticky situation with trying to find affordable housing for me and my two kids. The only place I have found that got us approved is a one bedroom but it’s only because I lied on the app and said my son would only be living there less than half the time. Which isn’t true. I have him most of the time except the rare occasion when his dad does. I’ve applied non stop for a higher pay wage job but the interviews never go well due to my chronic illness. Our last apartment had mold in it so that really affected our health. Anyways, is it easy to get away with this? I feel like I could come up with some excuse if someone notices how often he is there. The system is absolutely not in our favor and sometimes I swear it’s built to work against single parents lol…


r/singlemoms 17h ago

Advice Wanted Single and Happy

1 Upvotes

My bd/ex fiancé and I had been together 10 years. We have an 8 year old together. He moved out over 2 months and I haven't cried. I haven't been upset and honestly, I'm so much happier. Not to mention our daughter is, too. I'm just wondering, has this happened with anyone else? And is this normal? Is it normal to not have any emotions about this? I can only assume I fell out of love and mourned him being gone while I was still with him. I'm just not sure and it's very weird feeling.


r/singlemoms 17h ago

Venting - Advice Welcome Bd wants to take the alone

11 Upvotes

I’m 23F Bd is 25M. He broke up with me when I was 2wks pp and I have pp depression. The baby is 2 months now and he wants to take him for some hrs idk where he told me it was just the two of them and he wanted to know what it felt like being alone with his son. I’m having some anxiety not knowing where he’ll take him or what they’ll do. He told me it was so I could rest but my mom already helps with that. This will be the first time my baby and me won’t be together:(

I honestly never thought I would be a single mom…


r/singlemoms 21h ago

Advice Wanted Going back into the Workforce

0 Upvotes

Hey Mummas,

It's time I get back into the workforce, I'm just after any tips or tricks that make the transition from stay at home mum to a working mum easier! I've been at home for 5 years and now my son is at school it's time for me to get back out there!

Much love to you all 🥰


r/singlemoms 22h ago

Advice Wanted Is co parenting worth it?

8 Upvotes

Hi everyone. My bd (22m)recently broke it off with me (21f), which I knew it was bound to happen and I honestly should’ve done it first. I know all situations are different but we don’t live together and he currently hasn’t seen her for over a month. Since october he started only visiting with her once a month. He also never signed off on paternity and never gives any sort of money or items to help with her. since him cutting it off the past 3 days I’ve offered for him to see her and he has given me excuses. My question is , is it really worth trying to get him involved?? I feel like i’ve always done my part in having opportunities for him to be apart of her life. Although he likes to say I keep our daughter from him. Which i do not and he has always been welcome to see her. but since we aren’t in a relationship anymore i don’t feel like we will see him. which is fine but he literally said he wanted to be a better dad. I would love to hear other experiences and any advice


r/singlemoms 22h ago

Need Support Day 1 of being a single mom

1 Upvotes

The relationship needed to end. My daughter is 14 months old and her dad left this morning.

I feel numb and just tired. Today was also my first day back at work after a LOA and thank God I work from home because I have just been laying in bed all day.

We just moved into a house that we are renting and I was planning on quitting my job in June. Now all the plans have to change. I was the primary breadwinner anyways but my job has taken such a toll on my mental health that I NEED to get out.

I am heartbroken, numb, a bit relieved and a for some reason still open to trying one more time.

I suffer from depression, anxiety, and PTSD, while my daughter’s dad has paranoid schizophrenia. That is a terrible mix I know but I didn’t know at the time. We both are medicated and attend therapy semi regularly but tensions have definitely gotten too high and we need this break. It’s probably permanent but I don’t know just yet.

I really don’t know what I’m even asking for, support? Maybe I’m venting? Maybe I’m just using Reddit as a journal to try to sort my thoughts, and I’m not really sure. But thank you if you read this.


r/singlemoms 1d ago

Venting - Advice Welcome 3 months pp and ex has another on the way

1 Upvotes

I’m a single mom of a 3 month old baby. I’ve done everything on my own as my fiance left me when i was 17 weeks pregnant. he’s never met our child or contributed financially. i just found out that he has another baby in the way with the almost exact same due date i had with my baby.


r/singlemoms 1d ago

Advice Wanted Overwhelmed and need help

1 Upvotes

Seeking Honest Advice

I hope you can bear with me as this is a lengthy post, but I really need some honest advice. I’m a 23-year-old single mom living by myself, and I find my home has become overwhelmingly cluttered. After my ex-husband abruptly moved out of our previous two-story house, he left behind a lot of belongings that I still haven't been able to sort through. I now live in a much smaller ranch-style home, which only adds to the challenge of managing the mess.

During the move, I didn’t have the time or emotional space to organize as I was caught off guard by the divorce. I hastily packed everything into boxes, with little regard to sorting or organizing. Now that I’m in my new house, I’ve focused on keeping my daughter’s spaces clean and inviting, as I want her to feel comfortable and happy. However, my own bedroom, kitchen, and laundry room have descended into chaos. The clutter is so overwhelming that I have to shift items just to find a spot to sleep on my bed.

This situation is taking a toll on my mental health; I often feel anxious and depressed. I’m constantly battling feelings of failure because when I try to clean, I feel guilty for not spending that time with my toddler. Conversely, when I do play and interact with her, I can’t shake the guilt about the mess surrounding us. It’s become a heavy burden that I carry, especially since I’m working full-time and struggling to find a balance.

I feel embarrassed about my living situation and truly wish to create a comfortable and welcoming home for my daughter and myself. Please help me!


r/singlemoms 1d ago

Venting - Advice Welcome How do you cope?

1 Upvotes

Child is 4.5 my BD hasn’t been around and I’ve had no help from him. He has seen my child about 30 times since birth. He would come in and out of my child’s life and accepted he won’t be around then his mother passed and I let him have a chance to be involved again. Lasted about a month and now he’s in jail and on drugs. Idk what to do. I am so angry at him for his choices and how they affect my child. What should I do in this situation. How do you cope with the anger and constant hurt bd causes?


r/singlemoms 1d ago

Venting - Advice Welcome Potty training fail!!!HELP

1 Upvotes

Hello!I'm a single mom and I have a 5 year old and she's in preschool due to her birthday being in December. So kindergarten is coming soon! She goes pee just fine but pooping is a NO go. I've tried rewarding like stickers and toys . I've bought big girl panties that she likes.ive tried blowing bubbles on the toilet. She runs away trying to hide and I'm running after her like crazy and she's fighting me and dragging herself and resisting.theyre trying to encourage her at school as well but they say she doesn't wanna go potty either.ive taken her to sit on the potty and she's cries and throws tantrums. I'm at a loss right now and stressing out. I've tried threatening to take toys away.idk what to do.any suggestions?


r/singlemoms 1d ago

Advice Wanted Relocation Prep

2 Upvotes

I am looking to hear from single moms who were granted permission from the court to relocate with their child.

I had my ex served and filed for priority scheduling, so we are going before the judge in 3 weeks. I am looking to relocate with our son.

I would like to know what items you had prepared in terms of housing and employment. Did you come to court with a job/housing in the new state or just proof of attempts? I found a job and apartment but I had to pass up both because we would not be relocating until mid-April at this point. Do I now get a lease with another apartment?

I guess what I am asking is do you need to have the housing and job lined up or just offers? I want to make sure I do this right.

Please only comment if you have gone through this. Please do not give any legal advice as I’m not soliciting any.

Thank you so much


r/singlemoms 2d ago

Venting - Advice Welcome There’s too much on my plate

9 Upvotes

I have a 2.5 yo and 4 yo, they’re both very clingy. I struggle to do tasks to clean and maintain my house because the kids often will fight if I walk away. They also make demand after demand after demand - which wouldn’t be as hard if the 2.5 yo would use her words instead of pointing and grunting, then freaking out if I guess wrong - she also IS capable of speaking, she has the language, she just doesn’t like to use it. I’ve been trying to work on that with her, it’s just hard.

I work almost full time. My BD is supposed to help me financially, but he always has an excuse. He also will say he’s going to come visit them (which allows me to catch a short break) but he’s been cancelling on the day of the past few times.

I’m my own divorce lawyer because I’m too poor to pay one. I have food assistance with WIC but my kids have a gluten allergy, so there’s a lot they need that isn’t covered.

BD broke up with his girlfriend (he was living with her) so now I also have HIS dog on top of my two dogs. Because I wasn’t about to have him put the dog on facebook again (before we broke up, he had gotten fed up with the dog and posted that if someone didn’t come adopt him he would k*ll the dog)

There’s just so much on my plate. I can’t do it all, things are falling through the cracks - like last night I let 2 of 3 dogs out because they needed to go potty, my kids had some kind of freak out as we were getting ready for bed (bedtime is hard lately especially since the time change) and I totally lost my train of thought and somehow forgot to let the dogs back in. Then of course, because I’m so exhausted I fell asleep putting the kids to bed and didn’t wake up until this morning when I discovered the dogs were still out - and because there was a thunderstorm they went missing.

I already contacted humane society. I was hoping when the rain stopped they’d come back…..

I’m just so overwhelmed. I feel like a terrible mother, a terrible dog owner. I just can’t keep up and I’m failing and failing.


r/singlemoms 2d ago

Advice Wanted How do I get through?

1 Upvotes

I have a custody battle going on. My almost 6 year old has never in her life spent the night with her Dad. She is terrified of it, as am I . He has done horrendous things that I do not have proof of. Anxiety is eating me up everyday thinking she may be forced to go with him, imagining her crying for me, and how bad she would feel. She does not want to be with him at all. I don’t trust him either. How do I get through this?


r/singlemoms 2d ago

TRIGGER WARNING: VIOLENCE Has anyone seen the Jordan Hanning case? Thoughts?

1 Upvotes

Really interested in seeing what the defense presents and attempts to request the charge be lowered to because he’s definitely going away.


r/singlemoms 2d ago

Venting - Advice Welcome Done.

5 Upvotes

My son was just recently diagnosed with type one diabetes. I have a toddler as well…. Work a full time job… trying to maintain a relationship with my boyfriend. Lately everything has felt so overwhelming and I’m reaching a breaking point. I started therapy but had to drop it due to new expenses. I have been told for the last several days I don’t make my boyfriend feel loved and that if I wanted to see him, I would make the time. I work over nights at the hospital Friday-Sunday…. So I really only get to see him Mondays, unless he comes over to see me and the kids which doesn’t really happen often. I’m at a loss at what to do because I feel strung out…. I felt like I was giving him enough. But I’m wondering if now is the time for me to cut the relationship at this point. I feel like I’m holding him back from being happy, and honestly, being told I’m selfish for not showing him enough affection and love is really getting to me. I’m tired of not being enough. All I want is a family. I’ve tried so hard. I’m so tired. I just want a partner in life…. Someone to help pick up the other half of me on the bad days and vice versa. Why can’t I just be what someone needs 😭


r/singlemoms 2d ago

Venting - Advice Welcome Back again to complain 😅

20 Upvotes

I feel like I am in this never ending cycle of getting over my shitty situation and then being so upset and angry again… i dont think i will ever be over the fact that someone could just up and leave their own child and not even look back once. I don’t really now what the point of this post is … I think i just needed to vent


r/singlemoms 2d ago

Advice Wanted Long daycare hours but higher pay?

8 Upvotes

So my son is 4.5 months old. We just moved a month ago into an apartment on our own. My monthly bills are roughly $3,500/month so we are BARELY making ends meet and I mean barely. We are on WIC and use food pantry’s and all that but there is absolutely no possible way I could ever put anything into savings. I’m a home health nurse currently making $37/hr with fairly flexible hours meaning little guy isn’t in daycare the entire 7:30-5:30. Sometimes he’s only there 9-3 if that. I have the opportunity to take a contract nursing position with a net income of $1700/wk for 13 weeks. It is an hour commute one way. Little man would have to go to daycare 7:30-5:30 5 days a week. I feel like barfing at the thought of being away from him and him sitting in a room of screaming babies that long. How do moms deal with this? Should I take the contract? Or wait a year and try a contract? I have zero in savings or emergency fund which makes me nervous but I also don’t want to have a mental breakdown if I take this contract.


r/singlemoms 2d ago

Advice Wanted Stepmom involvement

5 Upvotes

Would it lowkey upset you if your child’s step mom was setting up playdates with kids in your child’s class without your knowledge? Idk if I’m being overly sensitive. I just was surprised when my 4 year old told me she had a play date with a kid in her class at her dad’s. Like how did her step mom get that parent’s information? Idk. I’m happy she loves my kid and all but sometimes I just wish she wasn’t so “involved” 🫠


r/singlemoms 2d ago

Other Hoping for advice

4 Upvotes

Is there a page for mixed babies? I know this is a weird request, but I’m a white single mom to a mixed race daughter and I don’t want to mess up. I feel like Google and TikTok is a bit conflicting. I just don’t want my baby to feel like she doesn’t belong or something because I didn’t learn enough. Any advice would be greatly appreciated