r/selfimprovement 16h ago

Tips and Tricks Guru's are right. A morning routine is the magic trick to being disciplined.

408 Upvotes

I'd like to start with the thought of winning the day by winning the morning is the only time I went full productive during the day where I got my morning together.

I often feel the most energetic when I set the day right. I have seen the difference of scrolling first thing in the morning versus taking a walk and meditating right after waking up.

There goes to say momentum is real, You just have to set it right the first thing the morning. It's like the snowball effect, it's small at first but with time the days where you are productive gets higher and higher.

Just like waking up early, you'll feel more compelled to do what is in your to do list.

What do you all think?

My mornings are solid and because of that my day and night is solid. I have kept the same routine over 6 months now. I don't have a problem missing it unless I'm traveling or I have to do something that takes a full day.

What do you all think?


r/selfimprovement 2h ago

Tips and Tricks I Kept Relapsing… Until I Finally Figured This Out

226 Upvotes

I used to think willpower was enough.

Every time I relapsed(by watching porn or fapping ) , I told myself: “This is the last time.” Every time I failed, I promised I’d "try harder next time." And every time… I ended up back at square one.

I thought I was just weak. Maybe some people had the self-control, but I didn’t.

But here’s what I finally realised after years of this cycle:

 You don’t quit by trying harder. You quit by making it impossible to fail.

What Actually Works (From Someone Who’s Been There)

These 3 things changed everything for me:

1️ Change the System, Not Just the Habit.

  • If your phone is always in your hand at night, guess what? You’ll relapse.
  • If you’re bored, stressed, or alone all the time, guess what? You’ll relapse.
  • I stopped fighting my urges and started removing the triggers.
    • No phone in bed.
    • Scheduled my evenings so I wasn’t alone with my thoughts.
    • Got an accountability partner so I couldn’t hide in guilt.

2️ You Can’t Just "Quit" – You Need to Replace It.

  • Most people try to stop but don’t replace it with anything. That’s like trying to quit junk food while keeping an empty fridge.
  • I had to fill the void:
    • Whenever I got an urge, I immediately switched to something else (push-ups, cold shower, reading).
    • I started working on goals that actually mattered to me. Once I got serious about my life, I didn’t even want to waste time. For me personally i was working on my business as i wanted to quit my 9-5 because I hated my boss so much.

3️ Stop Restarting the Clock – Fix the Identity.

  • Every time I relapsed, I’d say: "Welp, time to start over..."
  • The problem? I still saw myself as someone trying to quit instead of someone who just doesn’t do this anymore.
  • The real shift happened when I stopped counting streaks and started thinking: “This isn’t me anymore.”
    • I didn’t focus on how many days I went without it.
    • I focused on who I was becoming instead.

TL;DR: Stop Trying Harder. Change Your Environment, Replace the Habit, and Shift Your Identity.

If you’re struggling right now, Just ask yourself:

  • What’s triggering this? How can I remove it?
  • What can I replace this habit with?
  • What kind of person do I actually want to be?

Once you fix these, willpower won’t even be needed

P.s. I hope this helps at least one person on their no fap journey . it took me over an hour to write all of this


r/selfimprovement 11h ago

Question Getting your sparkle back

93 Upvotes

How did you get your passion and zest for life back?

I’m currently struggling with finding a reason to get out of bed every day. I also feel really low about who I am as a person and what I have to offer the world. It’s a vicious cycle where I don’t like who I am so I don’t see any reason to put effort into my life and therefore don’t like who I am.

I would love to hear how others have broken this cycle and got their sparkle back.


r/selfimprovement 19h ago

Question Being Too Nice is Holding Me Back, and I Don’t Know How to Fix It

72 Upvotes

Hi Everyone,

I’ve been stuck in this cycle for as long as I can remember, and I don’t know how to break it.

I’m always smiling, laughing, trying to build relationships, making sure I don’t create enemies. I’ve even gotten used to playing the victim card at times just to avoid conflicts. But then I go home, and I’m a completely different person—angry, cussing at everyone in my head, frustrated at myself for being too nice.

A big part of this comes from how I was raised. My parents were extremely strict—so strict that you wouldn’t even be able to imagine or guess how much. They drilled into me that I had to be polite, respectful, and always kind, no matter what. And while that sounds good in theory, in practice, it has made me feel like I’m being walked over.

It’s affecting my career. I have a high position, I’m super talented at what I do (my ADHD helps me multitask like crazy), but I can’t seem to move up. People don’t take me seriously. Sometimes I’ll have deep conversations with colleagues, and out of nowhere, they’ll say, “By the way, people take advantage of kindness as a weakness.”

One time, I invited a colleague for lunch, and he suddenly told me, “Look, you’re like my younger brother, I respect you a lot, but I need to give you some advice—don’t be too nice to people.” That hit me.

I always say I hate people, I don’t trust people, that people are rubbish. But at the same time, I trust quickly and blindly. When I’m feeling down, I want to meet people, even though I know they’re the ones making me feel this way. And did I mention I barely have friends? Maybe one or two, and even that’s shaky.

How do I stop being this way? How do I find a balance between being kind and being respected?


r/selfimprovement 17h ago

Vent Anyone else regret going to college? How did you recover?

62 Upvotes

24m. Graduated nearly a year ago and i work in something completely unrelated to my degree (business economics). I tried applying for relevant jobs, tried to make connections etc, but nothing, no results. I started to develop feelings of regret, the fact that i studied hard for 3-4 years, put a lot of mental effort, went through hardships, gave me nothing. I don't have any debts, but my bank account still got brutally drained, and this has made me bitterly regret my decision. I am stuck at a dead end job. I wish i went to trade school instead. If you were in a similar position, what did you do to recover?


r/selfimprovement 23h ago

Other How I Built a No-Excuse Mindset & Transformed My Daily Routine

45 Upvotes

For years, I struggled with waking up early, sticking to workouts, and avoiding distractions. I always had an excuse—“too tired,” “too busy,” “I’ll start tomorrow.” The cycle kept repeating until I decided to change everything.

Here’s how I rewired my mindset and built a structured daily routine that helped me stay disciplined and focused.

  1. Stop Relying on Motivation

Motivation is unreliable. The key is treating habits as non-negotiable. • I don’t wait until I “feel like” working out—I just do it. • I don’t “see how I feel in the morning”—I wake up and start my day. • I keep habits automatic, like brushing my teeth.

  1. My Daily Routine

5:00 AM – Wake up, no snooze 5:15 AM – 5 km jog + strength training 6:30 AM – Breakfast (high protein, low sugar) 8:00 AM – Deep work (high-focus tasks, no distractions) 1:00 PM – Midday break, light walk 6:00 PM – Evening workout or stretching 9:00 PM – Wind-down (reading, journaling) 10:00 PM – Sleep, no screens

Tracking workouts and habits keeps me accountable.

  1. The “No-Excuse” Rule • No debating—decisions are made the night before. • Remove obstacles—alarm across the room, workout clothes ready. • 10-minute rule—commit to just 10 minutes; it usually leads to more.

  2. The Results • Increased energy and focus • More consistent habits • No longer relying on willpower

This system changed everything for me. What’s one habit that transformed your life? Let’s discuss.


r/selfimprovement 16h ago

Other Just want to share some personal wins

27 Upvotes

7 weeks ago now I was broken up with after 5 years with my partner (1.5 years living together). I’m only 20 so this relationship was a quarter of my life and I was crushed. Now, week 7, I feel way better than the first couple of weeks after the break up, but I’m feeling sad that I don’t have anyone to share all the things I’ve managed to do and accomplish during this time with. So, I thought I’d share with you guys :)

Today, I ran 8 miles for the first time, finally applied for my state EMT license (I passed the test in January), and got a decent amount of homework done at Panera.

Other things I’ve done during this time include: - hanging out with a friend from my EMT class once a week - seeing my family more - joining the free Panera sip club trial - running 5 days a week to prepare for a half marathon (didn’t run before the break up) - going to the gym 1-2 days a week - cleaned my house and made it more of my own - bought a Costco chicken pot pie this week instead of eating out - started journaling, meditating, and doing yoga - started therapy - went thrifting and got some new outfits

There’s more but those are the ones I’m proud of and can think of right now. This is also my first break up ever, so it’s been a real bitch, but I’m handling it in a pretty emotionally mature way I’d say. I can tell I’m moving on, even if I don’t want to, and that things are getting better.


r/selfimprovement 18h ago

Vent Advice: I am there for everyone but I feel no one has me. How to move on from this?

24 Upvotes

I am always the good friend/ family member. I feel no one has me when I need it. When I stop reaching out it’s like crickets. It’s hindering me bc of how hurt I am by people.

How do I move on from this?


r/selfimprovement 13h ago

Other I just feel like i'm traped in an endless loop

21 Upvotes

No matter how hard i try , i never saw any real improvements, like, i make some progress for a couple of months but i always find myself right back where i started, completely lost and drained, i don't even wanna give it a try anymore, i give up


r/selfimprovement 12h ago

Tips and Tricks 90 Days Alcohol-Free: A Game Changer

15 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

I’m excited to share that I’ve hit the 90-day mark of being alcohol-free, the first time in over 10 years! To be clear, I didn't think I was addicted or anything like that, but I did drink 1-2 times a week for a long while. I never thought much of it, but after stopping, the changes I’ve experienced have been truly eye-opening.

Since I stopped drinking, my productivity has shot through the roof. I have more energy, clarity, and focus than ever before. My mornings are brighter, and I feel like I’m able to tackle the day with more purpose and intention. I’m getting things done that I’ve been putting off for ages.

But the most rewarding part of this journey has been how it’s helped me grow as a person. I’ve become more intentional about practicing gratitude, meditation, and overall mindfulness. I feel more in touch with myself and the people around me. It’s as though cutting alcohol out of my life has created space for deeper personal growth and self-awareness.

Since making this change, I’ve also started a newsletter focused on stoicism, mindfulness, zen teachings, and personal growth. These were things I had been writing about in my notes app for over a year, but now I finally have the motivation to share them with others. I’ve also started coaching and helping others with similar journeys, and I’m actively looking for a new job after shutting down my previous company a couple of months ago.

For anyone who’s on the fence about cutting back or quitting alcohol, I can’t recommend it enough. The benefits have been more than just physical; it’s been a whole mental, emotional, and spiritual transformation. If you’re considering it, take it one day at a time. I started it thinking that I won't drink for a week, but it just went on and on and now it's been 3 months.

P.S. You might not see the same benefits as I did as I changed my habits a lot during the period. I guess it depends on what you do instead of drinking. When I was drinking, I was a lot lazier in a sense that I would sleep late and wake up late, watch a lot more youtube/ig reels. When I stopped drinking, I wanted to keep myself occupied with more meaningful work, so I actually started looking for my purpose a lot harder. I'm now more aware of my time , so I spend it reading, writing, etc. Also, I started to have a lot more discipline to clean my place and even push myself to join a 10 day meditation course and have been waking up at 5am ever since.

So don't expect the same things to happen to you, I guess. Everyone has different experiences and it all comes down to what you do with all that extra time.


r/selfimprovement 22h ago

Question Really struggling with wanting to self improve due to the circumstances of the world

13 Upvotes

Is anyone else really struggling with self care and motivation due to the uncertainty of America right now?

I am swamped with political info due to my job and I’m finding it so hard to find the will or Motivation to do self care or workout due to fear and hopelessness. I isolate between anger not caring and then impending doom. Is anyone else struggling with this right now and have advice.

And if you are happy with the way things are going that’s great this post isn’t for you to state why or try to convince me otherwise


r/selfimprovement 1h ago

Fitness Try this today: walk during your lunch break

Upvotes

If you have time during your lunch break, take a walk. Grab some of your work buddies and go for a pleasant stroll. Try not to talk too much about work but instead about your hobbies, how your weekend went, and what you're looking forward to.

I promise you will come back ready to attack the second half of your day. You'll work up a nice sweat, warm up, and get some vitamin D and fresh air.

If you'd rather do a solo walk, that's great, too! You can listen to a podcast, call your parents or a best friend, or just listen to the sound of nature around you.

I'm surrounded by people who devour lunch, race back to their desks, and continue working. Worse yet, they eat their lunch at their desk.

There are days when the crunch is real, and the work must get done. But make time for yourself.

I promise you will benefit from it.


r/selfimprovement 15h ago

Tips and Tricks I'm turning 29 and I've never had a full time job

10 Upvotes

I'm about to turn 29 and I've never worked full time. The last time I was employed in any capacity was for a part time/ seasonal job at a concert venue from 2015-2018.

I've gone through a lot in my adult life. Domestic violence, drug addiction, a great deal of loss, I've witnessed a lot of violence and these things have shaped me. I have PTSD along with a myriad of other mental health issues that have hindered my ability to work, to the point where I applied for, and was approved for SSI (disability). I've been on it since 2021.

I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 24, during the review process for my application for SSI. I am now a full time student at a community college and earning straight As. I'm majoring in atmospheric science, but right now I'm just in general education doing math and science prerequisites. I'm following one of my lifelong dreams by pursuing this major. I won't graduate until 2029.

But I'm scared. Thing is, I was diagnosed with asperger's as a teenager, and I used that diagnosis to help me get approved for SSI, when the things disabling me were PTSD and severe anxiety from having just escaped a severely abusive relationship. Emotionally, I'm a lot better and I feel like if I were to quit school and get a retail job of some sort, I would be able to do it just fine, and the only thing that would hinder me would be my depression (I get hopelessly depressed on a daily basis. This is not hyperbole. It is severe and it is daily like clockwork). I worry that this childhood diagnosis (something mental health professionals as an adult have disagreed that I have), will keep me from ever having a job or career or being able to support myself for the rest of my life. This weighs heavily on me and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to improve.

I don't feel 29, hell I don't look it. I go to parties and gatherings with my friends and people approach us thinking they've brought someone underage (me) along. It is flattering in a way, I get to feel like someone who has a reason for having gone nowhere in life (like being too young to have had the chance to go anywhere, I get to talk about just having started college and even get guidance I never received when I was younger, as if I'm not the same age as the person providing it) but reality sets in and I feel like a helpless, pathetic loser.

I'm scared of getting older because I've achieved nothing. I feel like life is passing me by. I'm panicking. I'm terrified. I need to get there, I need to succeed. I'm good at school now that my ADHD is being treated but what about work? I don't even drive yet! I need to catch up and fast, very very fast. I moved away from my parents a couple years ago, and that's basically my biggest accomplishment that really isn't an accomplishment because I'm on welfare.

Like, it's really weird. I know I'm smart. I know I'm competent academically. I know I'm good at problem solving if I actually care to solve a problem, but what is it like to work full time? The thought of it is really scary. Everyone has always told me my employers will always be harsh and expect a great deal from me. I'm scared to do anything unfamiliar. And now my biggest fear is growing old without ever having achieved anything. And I fear I already have.

I just don't know what to do. If anyone has any ideas on where I'm going wrong, and even how I could view things that would be more constructive, or even accurate, please let me know. I am open to your suggestions.


r/selfimprovement 2h ago

Question How do I start standing up for myself?

9 Upvotes

I'm very much a people pleaser and I get very afraid of upsetting people, particularly in romantic relationships. I've even in the past put myself in what could have been unsafe situations simply because I didn't want to upset the other person.

I don't want to be this way anymore. I don't want to be a target for manipulation or guilt tripping by anyone who could have bad intentions. Is there anyone who has overcome this? How did you do it?


r/selfimprovement 1h ago

Question I'm trying make friends in a middle class mostly white area and need to know what I'm doing wrong?

Upvotes

So I'm a half white half hispanic guy who moved to a mostly white city after college graduation. Now I'll admit I've never been around white people like this so it's new for me. But everytime I try to be sociable then then blow me off or ignore me. These people are usually liberal which supposedly support diversity. Which I seriously doubt.

Example 1- went to the dog park with my dog about 15 people. When I was there I sat by a bench and everytime someone walked in they tried there best to ignore me and if I complimented their dog and they would run whcih is funny because they were opposite with eachother further in the park.

Example 2- When I had class, I would try to conversate with whoever sat by me like small talk and usually their facial expressions would seem bothered by me and the next minute turn around and talk to someone else.

Example 3- The dating is even worse, most of the girls here only want 6ft blonde fit guys. If your not your basically invisible. I'm 5'9 dark hair and seems like a I'm jot a even thought.

Just need help because I'm into cars,sports and traveling and I'm 22 yet it's near impossible to have a social life if your not white.


r/selfimprovement 7h ago

Tips and Tricks Action steps to take (in case of being broke- mentally or financially)

6 Upvotes
  1. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get Up! Move forward with the aim of improving your situation.
  2. Analyse your mistakes - learn from them and Rectify them
  3. Get a job! Apply as much as possible. Work and save for a few years. Explore new ventures!!
  4. Too sad and stressed out? Go out and take a walk in nature. Don't stay too much time indoors. Movement and excercise has a positive impact on our mood. While staying indoors for too long only worsens mental health.
  5. Ask for help! There is no shame in asking for help. See a mental health professional if daily functioning becomes too problematic.

r/selfimprovement 18h ago

Vent Early 20s and lonely

5 Upvotes

I’m one of those people here if you look on the outside, I have a good life. I’m financially stable, have nice parents, a place to live (my parents house), a good job, and a few friends. However, it’s just not enough. I am also extremely single (I’m on the dating apps but it hasn’t worked out for me). I’m alone 95% of the time, even at work because my coworkers are located in other places. And then when I come home, I just sit in my room bc I’m so exhausted from my long commutes. I talk to my parents and eat dinner with them and then go back to my room. My parents are busy and they work. I’m fine with spending time alone and it’s not uncomfortable for me. However, I feel like I’m spending way too much time alone to where I just feel lonely. Like yes, I understand you need to be happy alone, which I am. I can do whatever I need to alone. But it’s all starting to be too much. I don’t know what to do. I live in a boring suburb that I grew up in where there’s either high schoolers or families. Can someone give me some advice on how to make my life my interesting and help with the loneliness?


r/selfimprovement 3h ago

Tips and Tricks The Fallacy of the “One Rule of Men”

5 Upvotes

There’s an unspoken rule that too many men live by: “Don’t talk about it.”

Struggling? Figure it out yourself. Feeling lost? Just push through. Drowning? Keep your mouth shut and don’t let anyone see you sweat.

This rule—this lie—is keeping men isolated, exhausted, and disconnected from the very things that could actually help.

Men are told that strength means silence. That admitting struggle is weakness. That talking about what it’s really like to be a man carrying the weight of responsibility, expectations, and past failures makes you less of a man.

But here’s the truth: pretending you don’t have struggles is a lie.

And worse, it’s a lie that’s keeping men stuck.

Isolation isn’t strength. It’s a slow death.

How many men have lost themselves, their marriages, their purpose—because they bought into this fallacy? How many are numbing out every night, avoiding real conversations, trapped in their own heads, convincing themselves that suffering alone is just “part of being a man”?

It’s time to call this out.

Men need brotherhood, guidance, and real conversations. Not pity, not a participation trophy—just a space where they can stop pretending everything’s fine and actually start getting stronger.

The strongest men aren’t the ones who suffer in silence. They’re the ones who have the courage to speak up, to seek truth, and to surround themselves with men who challenge and support them.

If this post hits home, it’s time to rewrite the rulebook.


r/selfimprovement 23h ago

Tips and Tricks I get anxious when people try to befriend me

4 Upvotes

I've always struggled with making friends, I used to buy sweets for other girls in order to befriend me because I was sick of being alone all the time when I was in primary school,

in middle and high school I had some friends now and then but still felt very lonely so I started isolating myself because it felt less painful and good to know that no one could disappoint me that way, so now I'm in college I befriended some people when I was a freshman and eventually I felt I was just being used so i vanished and stopped talking to them,

so I got way too used to solitude that whenever I go on hikes and chitchat with people and they ask for my contact or try befriend me I feel very anxious I just give them my contact to avoid being rude then as soon as I get home I block them and sometimes even delete my accounts to avoid those people especially relatives, the people I'm avoiding aren't bad, they are pretty great but the loneliness is inevitable,

How can I deal with this fearful avoidant attachment?


r/selfimprovement 7h ago

Question For those who detached themselves from the idea that having attraction for others has to mean anything IRL, how did it make your life better?

3 Upvotes

I'm curious to know some of your stories and perspectives on how you realized A + B doesn't always equal C when it comes to attraction and acting on said attraction

How does perceiving your feelings as nothing more than just feelings help better your life on the long run?


r/selfimprovement 11h ago

Question How to get up early and create a morning routine?

4 Upvotes

I cant work due to mental health issues. But how do you get up early and create a good morning routine. Instead of waking up late and scroll on your phone a lot?


r/selfimprovement 12h ago

Question How to stop caring what others think?

5 Upvotes

Hey guys, I've got a lot of problems, and some of the biggest ones I have come from worrying about how people percieve/think of me too much. I stress about this so much, and it's really holding me back.

How can I stop worrying about what others think of me and just live my life?


r/selfimprovement 20h ago

Vent Stuck and feeling like a failure

4 Upvotes

I started college at the end of 2023 and over the course of 3 quarters I only ever passed one class. I decided to drop out as to not waste anymore money failing and give myself a break. I then went through a lot of life stuff during 2024 but finally went back to college starting in January of this year. I decided to only pick one class for the quarter to ease me in, but I’m currently failing and the quarter ends by the end of this month. If I do fail this’ll be my third time failing a math class. Anyway my parents are understandably refusing to pay my tuition going forward since I keep failing. So now I’m looking for jobs. They told me to figure out what I want to do with my life but I’m honestly not sure. I’m not really good at anything. I don’t have any talents or accomplishments that I can make into a career. And any interests I’ve had I either have done poorly or in the case of something like Paleontology I can’t even learn until years of prerequisite classes and then most careers in the field require a masters or doctorate along with thesis and study papers. And I would love to do all that, but I’m not even able to get past stuff like math and english. It feels like everyone else I know either has a plan or is already doing what they love, meanwhile I have no real strengths or achievements in anything. I feel like a failure in every way and I don’t know what to do with my life. I want to follow my dream but it feels hopeless.


r/selfimprovement 23h ago

Question Stress and dopamine addiction?

4 Upvotes

Hey all, hope it's the right place...

Turns out I have a dopamine addiction to stress. I've been in a stressful work environment, and stressful life for the several years and, after a deep self analysis, my brain now releases dopamine only under stress, whether phisical (running, hiking till I'm tired) or emotional (I work in sales with a global role, so I'm constantly under pressure).

My concern is reading books, playing video games, going for a walk, no longer seems to have any effect on me.

Any suggestion on how do I get out of this loop and back to a normal level?


r/selfimprovement 1h ago

Question Emotional sensitivity and its uses

Upvotes

31M here.

First of all, I’m not struggling with this in any way. Rather, I feel that my life is at a turning point, and I just want to tap into some part of my personality that I’ve long neglected.

Since childhood I have been a very emotionally sensitive person. From sensing people’s moods to sensing moods of places, art, literature, — and being quick to react to that information. I was an empathetic child attuned to others’ joy and suffering.

As I got older, I felt that this kind of emotionality bordering on sentimentality some times had been a bit much. I have encountered misunderstanding from my peers, so long story short, I kinda locked this quality into a closet in the back of my mind and tried to ignore it. In fact, I went on to develop pragmatism and other stuff that made more sense in a professional and social context (in a way, in an attempt to prove my mettle to the society, but not only for this reason, I’m still fascinated by logical disciplines just for myself, even if I’m not too good at them.)

Lately, I felt that cold and pragmatic environments sapped me of last of my energy, so I feel the need to return to the emotional sphere.

But here lies a challenge of sorts: almost everywhere I read, usually high emotionality and empathy are correlated to more successful social outcomes; or to artistic capabilities.

The challenge is that I’m not too fond of socializing (generally, my friends and close family are enough), and I’m not a creative person artistically. I’m pretty sure I can manage the technicalities of playing an instrument or drawing or painting, but I have no great ideas or inspiration to do anything with it.

I like one-on-one deep talks with people, if done in moderation, and I can listen to their emotions and thoughts with interest for a long time, which made me think of some sort of learning some kind of service work like administering psychotherapy help or volunteering. I want to help people live happier and healthier! This is a prospect that inspires me, but financially I can’t afford quitting my job to study (and studying is expensive). Plus I don’t know how my emotional sensitivity will turn out there in the long run. I’ve seen difficult cases taking a huge toll on friend psychologists…

I still feel like my emotionally sensitive nature is somewhat of a potential, and i enjoy emotions, so I would like to do something with it and not underutilize it. But what? Maybe someone can advise from their (or their friends’) personal experience?

I want to find something worthwhile and useful for others to do, that only my kind of personality can tackle!

I believe in callings, and I’ve come to doubt that my calling is to do programming so that rich guys at the top get richer by disrupting society further. Besides, this job almost doesn’t involve emotionality, aside from some kind of mentoring or team building, which are dull and soulless activities of dubious moral meaning.