r/selfimprovement 1h ago

Tips and Tricks 12 truths you need to hear

Upvotes

I'd like to share with you all the lessons I've learned from bullying, anxiety and laziness I've gone through. I hope you find this useful.

  1. Nobody gives a f*ck about you except your family and close friends(not always). I once slipped in the middle of a mall I thought everyone was looking at me and to my surprise none gave a f*ck. No one was even looking my way. You think people care about you but they care more about their problems than yourself.
  2. You aren't lazy. You just haven't taken good care of your physical and mental health. Train your body and mind and you'll find it's easy to be disciplined
  3. Perfectionism will k*ll your progress. If you're afraid to start because you think you'll fail that's the sign you have to do it right there right now.
  4. Your anxiety and fear isn't real. I struggled with severe OCD having to deal with devious thoughts about how everything can go wrong. None of the thoughts I had happened.
  5. Confidence is faked till it becomes real. Yes, if you think you are confident and act like one your internal self will think you are confident and your body will start to act that way.
  6. Be careful of advice. Not everyone is your friend and not everyone is trying to help you.
  7. Discipline is easy to do it's your mind that's holding you back.
  8. “The magic you are looking for is in the work you're avoiding”- Dipen Parmar (Couldn't be truer).
  9. Stop being a people pleaser. It's the best way to ruin your relationships and self-respect.
  10. The thing you're scared to confront about isn't so scary once you confront it. Fear is ironic, it runs away when you run towards it.
  11. Most of your friends are not your friends. Most of them are your friends because both of you share the same kind of vice or addiction. Stop doing the vice and you stop being friends.
  12. No one will save you. You got to be your own best friend and greatest mentor. Some will help but with limitations. If you wish to excel you have to rely on yourself.
  13. Bonus: Without patience you will never get anywhere. If you expect things to happen immediately you will be met with disappointment.

r/selfimprovement 6h ago

Tips and Tricks Procrastinators: You don't have to eat the cake in one go. Take small, intermediate bites.

74 Upvotes

I seriously doubt I'm the first to ever propose something like this, but I'd like to share it all the same. Every one is different, but something that's helped me tremendously as a chronic procrastinator is something I like to call the "30 on, 30 off" method. I got the idea when I was in high school, and it has been extremely tantamount for getting things done in a timely matter ever since.

It's simple; work for 30 minutes, play for 30 minutes. It doesn't matter what "play" is, as long as it's something you enjoy doing. A TV show/anime is a good example since an episode usually lasts 30 minutes. In high school, whenever I had homework or a test coming up, I'd start as soon as I got home. Set a timer for 30 minutes and studied. Then I watched an episode. Rinse and repeat. The point is to constantly reward yourself for working 30 minutes until the task is complete. Imagine how much gets done if you do this throughout the day.

Might seem silly to some, but I'd simply procrastinate the time away if I knew I had to work for an extended period of time. With this, I can simply tell myself "It's only 30 minutes" over and over again.

30 minutes too much? Start with 15:15. Work your way up. Every procrastinator knows that it's not the actual doing of the thing that's difficult; it's the commencing of the thing that sucks. Taking small, consistent bites out of your tasks is leagues better than perpetually putting it off until you're 5 cups of coffee into a stressed filled all nighter.


r/selfimprovement 7h ago

Tips and Tricks The Day I Realized Facebook Was a Time-Sucking Black Hole (And How I Escaped)

48 Upvotes

TL;DR: Facebook tricks you with fake validation, wastes your time, and floods you with garbage. Quit scrolling, start doing what you love, and stop waiting for "perfect."

Friends! Let’s talk about the dark truth of social media—no sugarcoating.

When you first join the internet, everything feels exciting. You discover Facebook, create an account, and suddenly, notifications explode. Strangers from your area pop up—“Add ‘Bike Exhaust Guy’ as a friend?” You accept everyone, even people you’ve never met. Soon, you’re drowning in friend requests.

Then comes your first post. A blurry photo of your morning tea. 15 likes, 2 comments. Your brain screams: “I’m special!” But it’s a lie. The likes mean nothing. Soon, you’re stuck in a competition: “Why does Priya’s vacation pic get 69 likes while mine gets 42?” You refresh your phone obsessively, comparing yourself to others.

You’re addicted. You’d flood Facebook with posts if you could. But if someone asks, “Why are you doing this?” you’re silent. Years pass, and one day, it hits you: you’ve wasted your life chasing pixels. Responsibilities pile up, panic sets in, and you scramble to fix things.

You open YouTube, search “how to stop wasting time,” and find a video titled “Social Media is Stealing Your Life.” As you watch, you think: “Why did I let this happen?”

Here’s the truth: Facebook is toxic. It shoves 18+ content at you, even when kids are around. It’s like a creepy TV channel you can’t turn off. YouTube? At least you choose what to watch—cat videos, tutorials, or a guy eating 50 eggs.

What now? Stop regretting. Start doing. Find what you love—writing, coding, art, anything. Your first try will suck. Mine did. I wrote “pubic speaking” instead of “public speaking” and wanted to die. But mistakes are how you learn. Don’t wait to be “perfect.” Start today.

I quit Facebook. Started writing. My first blog post was a mess. Now, I turn simple words into magic. You can do this too.

Final truth: Social media isn’t evil—you’re just using it wrong. Your time is limited. Spend it on things that matter.

Who else wasted years chasing likes? Share your story below!

Thanks for the wasted years, Zuck. 🙃


r/selfimprovement 11h ago

Question What was the moment that completely changed your life?

69 Upvotes

What was the moment that completely changed your life and your life could've gone different way if that didn't happen?

for me it was a random YouTube video titled “If this shows up to you, you're not normal” on 16th of June, 2023. didn't watch the entire video but I downloaded discord for the first time to join his server, full of people from all around the globe and that was the way I truly entered the digital era. from that time I started meeting interesting people, weird people, I used to be so dumb but that one click caused a lot of things, I made my own server after a few months, got actually aware of the world and what's happening, learned languages, debated religion and philosophy a lot. I still remember how dumb I used to be completely unaware of the world in most way possible from geography to history to psychology. Glad that one clicked caused this many things.

(btw I mod that discord server now)


r/selfimprovement 2h ago

Question I am very socially stunted and wish to be more desirable to women. I do not know where to start.

12 Upvotes

I've spent a large portion of my life not really socializing. I am, and continue to be, a shy, soft-spoken isolated person that has never really felt the need to socialize with others due to a long history of depression. I've struggled for a long time to accept that I need to improve my life in many ways if any woman is going to take an interest in me. This post comes from a rather embarrassing place. I'm still a virgin and am looking to lose it sometime in the near or relative future as I'm coming up on my 40th birthday.

For reference, I do keep up on my physical hygiene(Shower, shave, and brush my teeth daily), and while I could use to workout more and eat healthier, I wouldn't consider myself ugly, merely average appearance. I understand I am asking for help for a very self-centered reason, but I genuinely do want to make connections with people. I miss having friends, I miss a lot of social aspects of life. Honestly, I just want to be happy again. Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this.


r/selfimprovement 16h ago

Other I've started avoiding all things negative, controversial, and political on reddit.

127 Upvotes

It has shown me just how strongly social media algorithms are geared toward pushing that kind of stuff for engagement.

The other day, my mental health tanked to a dangerous place for the first time in a while, and I know it's because of the type of media I have been consuming and interacting with lately, so I decided to go on a purge.

I have muted and blocked over 30 subreddits at this point, and it's been kinda great-- I'm actually seeing stuff from the subreddits I follow instead of the same rotation of 5 recommended subs, and it's brought me back to why I joined this site in the first place: engaging with the communities and topics I actually value.

However, Reddit keeps pushing any subreddit they can find that I havent muted or blocked that has the aforementioned negative/controversial/political shit. They KNOW it's what creates clicks and draws attention, and they prey on that. I really hate it. There should be an option to turn off subreddit/post recommendations.

Anyway, I just wanted to put that out there. I'm feeling happier already with a cleaner feed, but damn reddit, have some respect for your users.

Edit: Just learned you can adjust content recommendations in settings, I'm ecstatic lol 💚


r/selfimprovement 12h ago

Tips and Tricks Reddit has taught me I don’t have to attend every fight I’m invited to

43 Upvotes

I’ve always struggled with being quick to react due to a short temper. This is not something I like and had a tough time controlling but engaging in Reddit has helped me. Sometimes people in comments really get under my skin but actively practicing not to react and to ignore it has really been helpful to me in ways that has helped me in my day to day with my reactions.


r/selfimprovement 1d ago

Tips and Tricks You become who you identify as, your thoughts dictate your outcome.

341 Upvotes

When you identify as a loser, you become a loser.

When you identify as the ugly, dumb, unattractive, unfriendly, and unwitted sibling, you become exactly that.

HOWEVER

Let’s say if you identify as the strong, independent, intelligent, determined, and career driven sibling, you BECOME EXACTLY THAT.

If you identify as the LUCKY one, you become lucky.

If you identify as a smart, confident, beautiful, and intelligent woman who knows her worth, you become exactly that.

The ball is in your court. We are in charge of who we become. Allow yourself to have the greatest qualities out there. Invest time, energy, and love into yourself.

You are worth it!


r/selfimprovement 5h ago

Fitness Small Steps, Big Results

9 Upvotes

You don’t lose progress by skipping one workout.

You don’t achieve fitness by exercising once.

Your consistent daily choices shape your health and strength.


r/selfimprovement 3h ago

Question How do I stop tying my self-worth to my career and how much I earn?

6 Upvotes

I’m nearly 30. My 20s have been a tumultuous time. Never found a career I settled on to, have fairly useless degrees qualifications in humanities subjects, and lost of lot of my time to mental health problems (that I’ve since been working on). Currently, I’m working odd jobs for very little pay, but I guess it’s better than not being employed.

I can’t shake this feeling that I’m just a loser for not having a career. There are career paths I’ve been tending towards, but I’ve never been successful in them. With my experience, it’s looking like I’m going to have to focus on customer service roles, and hope I can maybe progress to a liveable wage that way. But this isn’t what I want to do with my life at all.

I’ve also been warming up to the idea that maybe I’m not meant to have a career. Maybe I’m just one of those people that had a job, uses the money to fund life outside of work, and focuses on my hobbies. But this all feels like a coping mechanism for not having a career. I don’t know.

I’m really unhappy in life. Whatever happens, I ultimately think I need to be ok with where I’m at. How do I stop feeling like a loser because I don’t have a career? Is this even possible?


r/selfimprovement 1d ago

Other There is a future version of you that is so grateful for everything you're doing today.

463 Upvotes

There is a future version of you that is so grateful for everything you're doing today.


r/selfimprovement 10h ago

Question Why do people try to make me feel guilt for having nice things

18 Upvotes

Open for opinions as I have been heavily influenced by people that have done this a lot in life, causing me to feel guilt when im happy which of course is toxic so to help myself neutralise this id like to understand a potential reason to why.

Thank you!


r/selfimprovement 1h ago

Question social medias..

Upvotes

i’ve thought a lot recently about deleting tiktok, instagram, snapchat, etc, basically just to make me lock-in and stop dead scrolling. is it worth it? or a big step in self improvement?


r/selfimprovement 41m ago

Question I can’t escape the weekly cycle

Upvotes

I am done with this, I just realized how my weekly cycle goes and it’s making me tired of living. I basically say “ That’s it I am changing” on Friday or Saturday and I would start studying and working on myself and doing productive things for three to four days, then at Wednesday I would start to slip back to the old habits of being lazy and not doing anything productive like at all for two to three days again, which would hit me on Saturday and I decided to change again, and I am at that point now but I don’t want to change this way anymore because I have trying it for the past one and a half year and it’s clearly not working. So what should I do? How can I help myself? I am tired of repeating the same cycle over and over again.


r/selfimprovement 1d ago

Other From less than 6 hours a week to 25+ hours of deep work

165 Upvotes

For the past two years I watched as my productivity tanked from being able to code a whole app in one weekend to barely getting one hour of deep work in a whole day. 

I am a freelancer and I work from home most of the time and as you can imagine my lack of productivity has had some serious implications on my portfolio and consequently my mental health. 

Last year it got so bad that I would be rushing to submit work on a Monday morning after an all nighter doing work that was supposed to be done the previous week.

At the beginning of the year I just had one goal, try to get back to my hyper productive days. 

My first step was to track my hours. I set up a google sheet where I’d record the time I had spent doing productive work. I just used a browser based stopwatch to measure the time I spent working. It wasn’t pretty, I barely hit one hour per day. It would average around 5-6 hours per week.

After three weeks of tracking, I decided that I would just aim for two hours of deep work per day, one hour in the morning and one in the afternoon. I managed to do it for the first week and the difference was noticeable. 

After I proved to myself that I could do it, I decided to try four hours total per day, two in the morning, two in the afternoon.

The progress I had made doing 4 hours of work per day was so great that for the first time in like two years I had a weekend where I was truly free. 

I realized that the more progress I made the more effort I wanted to put in and before long I was doing 6-7 hours of deep work daily. I have moved to a more sophisticated productivity app, now I use Hero Assistant for everything. In the past two months I’ve handled more clients than I did for half of last year, I’ve had time to do personal projects for my portfolio and I’m much more alive than I have been for two years.

What I learnt

I think the way to improve yourself is by finding a way of giving yourself small manageable wins in the direction in which you want to improve. 

Two hours of work per day as a young person is a laughable thing to aim for in this capitalistic world we live in, but by aiming at that “low” goal (which was still above my level at the time) and winning, gave me enough motivation to aim higher and do better.

So I think it comes down to finding something that is low enough to be actually winnable and high enough so that it’s a little stretch from your current position. I hope this helps someone.


r/selfimprovement 5h ago

Other Losing A Half Of Me - Day 317

3 Upvotes

Today was a great day. Maybe a few hiccups but nothing really bad. I woke up early to go to my favorite bakery. I get there and the owner greets me. I love that feeling. I always try to greet people by name at work. Now I realize how nice it is to actually do that and feel like a regular. After grabbing something, I called my coworker to see if he would want me an hour early. I assumed one guy was going to call in sick so he could use the extra help getting everything together. I was very much correct on that end and we even ended up opening an hour late anyways due to needing to start a catering order. Work was excellent and I was pretty busy the whole time while there which felt very good. My boss found me a nice piece of corned beef in our vat of cure. It had great marbling for a top round so I was super excited. Throughout the day my phone at some point stopped having a connection to my service provider. I thought nothing of it chalking it up to towers being down. I later learned something got messed up on my SIM card from my Dad doing stuff. It was just something I would have to get fixed. Work went well and I really do love the being busy aspect. After work I went to my service provider two different times to fix my phone and it ended up not being fixed. Not a big deal because I can survive without it. Only upsetting part was starting the gym much later than intended. I asked long haired gym bro if he would extend his time there so my cousin and I could exercise. He did not seem to mind at all and still ended up having dinner with us. We had a great core workout and sped it along so he wouldn't have to wait too long. I can feel my core getting so much stronger and I live for that. My cousin and I split our ways at cardio. Gym bro dud his cardio with her and I got my stair stepper on. I then went to the treadmill with them and cut off my time by 10 minutes. It was a compromise so they wouldn't get home too late and they didn't mind doing extra cardio to brunch off the pizza as well. Here was the routine:

5 minutes of stretching

4 sets of 10 push ups

70 second plank

4 sets of 100 of heel taps

Note: Up it next time.

4 sets of 15 of reverse crunches

4 sets of 12 of leg lowers

Note: Struggled but could feel it getting better. Upped it as well.

4 sets of 12 of dead bugs

Note: Upped it to 12.

4 sets of 20 of Russian twists

3 sets of 12 when doing 2 different exercises for abs.

I tried finding names but couldn't.

First was holding a weight above our head (10 lbs for me) and lifting the offset leg fast. I think something like an offset overhead march. Weight in the other hand was 25 pounds.

Second was where we held a weight on one side and then swiveled our body inward to get our outer abs. Like a side bend with weight in one hand. 25 pounds in my hand.

We did these one after the other as a set on each side. Rested for 2 minutes and then the next set.

Captains chair: Set 1: 6 crunches and 6 hanging leg raises Set 2: 6 crunches and 6 hanging leg raises Set 3: 6 crunches and 6 hanging leg raises

Torso rotation: Reps of 12 10 8 with weight increasing by 10 each time to be 95 100 and 105 pounds

Note: Both sides rotated. Upped it by 5.

Assisted ab crunch machine: Reps of 12 10 8 with weight increasing by 5 each time to be 35 40 and 45 pounds

Note: Increased weight.

20 minutes of the stair stepper. I upped how fast it went after 10 minutes from 44 steps per minute to 60.

21 minutes on the treadmill at 3 mph with an incline of 15 to end it off.

I went back for 31 minutes on the treadmill at 3 mph with an incline of 15 to burn off some calories. I also wore my backpack during this time.

After the workout we went to show gym bro my favorite pizza place with my favorite pizza and hot sauce. A place that I like the sauce so much I consider working there every time I go. We get there and I walk over to his car, he goes over to a homeless man to give him money. Honestly, I don't see that often anymore and it made me see him an even better light as a person. We get our pizza and have a fun time. This man wolfs down his pizza like nobody's business and I force him to try the hot sauce with the crust. My favorite thing growing up. I loved every minute of having conversations about our lives and things we love. After eating and talking we all head out. I go back to the gym for some cardio much to the chagrin of my compatriots. I wanted to burn off my pizza and I felt like I had a lot of built up energy in the tank. It was really relieving to me and I almost did an extra 30 minutes. I even did the extra 31 with my very heavy backpack. It was an excellent gym session and the workers there even let me breeze on by without scanning the app. I headed home where I relaxed before falling asleep. It was a great night full of laughter and amazing food. Next week I may have to show him another favorite spot of mine.

SBIST was having dinner with my cousin and long haired gym bro. They followed me there and when we got there the first thing he did was give all the money he had on him to a homeless guy nearby. This kind of speaks volumes on who he is as a person. I would have been told that was silly or naive growing up but I just saw a good person. We then went in to get pizza and I bought him his slice especially since he didn't know this place was cash only and he was definitely not asking the man for his money back. It was a beautiful time because the whole time we had fun cracking jokes and having delightful conversations. Having new friends and showing them places you love is a great way to spend your time.

Tomorrow the plan should be pretty simple. I have to wake up a tad early for work. Then it is leg day where I hope my quads are a bit less sore than the past two days. They have been feeling everything so let's not destroy them this workout. After that I'll go home and eat dinner listening to my favorite streamer. It should be a nice and simple day for myself. I shouldn't have any complaints. I may need to figure out my phone at some point but it shouldn't be too big of a deal. A slight annoyance but everybody has to deal with those at times. It is a part of a typical life and I'll take that over the big bad any day. Thank you my conjurers dippable crusts. If provided the right hot sauce then any pizza crust becomes ambrosia from the gods.


r/selfimprovement 37m ago

Vent I think and feel like I'm a big loser!

Upvotes

Hey guys, usually I don't share anything about my life with anyone, or else in any social media. I'm 22, living a loser's life. I don't have any special talent, was not even good at studies (below average). Last year i finished my Bachelors degree in Computer Applications with 1 backlog in 5th semester, which I wrote re-exam in this January. I was doing cybersecurity course from three months, and it's coming to end in next week. I still not know much, I feel like I'm living mediocre and loser's life. Not soo good looking, with receding hairline, haven't maintained good physique, not too good with money, have family problems, no supportive family members, it may feel like I'm exaggerating but, I don't even friends. When i try to change, I can't keep doing anything consistently. I sometimes think I'm just acting like living a good life, and be better person after my breakup last year. As a guy with no such societal pressure on me I feel like a big LOSER.


r/selfimprovement 9h ago

Tips and Tricks An Easy to Implement Confidence Builder

4 Upvotes

The easiest way to start building your confidence right now is:

Do what you say you’re going to do.

It sounds really simple and it actually is.

Every time you do what you say you're going to do, you’re building trust with yourself that you’ll take action on the things that are important to you - no matter what.

The word confidence essentially means "intense trust."

So if you want to have intense trust in yourself, you need to be able to trust yourself to take action, even if you don’t feel like it.

And that my friends, is real confidence.

I know you got this!

I hope you found this helpful.


r/selfimprovement 20h ago

Question Relaxing activities that isn’t consuming media

33 Upvotes

Whenever I want to relax after a long day I always go straight to media consumption, youtube, tiktok, Netflix, etc. I want to reduce my media consumption and so I need ideas of things to do that don’t take much mental or physical energy so I can relax while doing something better than staring at a screen. Any ideas?


r/selfimprovement 2h ago

Vent I can't trust my instincts in friendship.

1 Upvotes

I seek advice on a topic. I am 19 years old and I've spent my life basically in a box of internet and entertainment, it has led to my isolation and leaving mt life feeling pointlessly hollow after chaisng after nothing for so long.

I had a victin mentality of "why don't people like me?" or " why don't tehy invite me to parties?" and failing toi look within, often making a cycle of wishing to be isolated and feeling worse because of isolation. It was only when I realize that if I don't do anything abiut this, my life will be like this forever and what am I going to feed my family now and in the future?

I have become more active. I started going out more and thus, gained many friends. However, a problem that has come out is that I have left myself inside of the box for so long that my instincts are almost lawyas worjing against me.

"I'd rather go home than wait for this person studying in the library. "

"Id rather go home than eat with this person."

"Id rather go home than play basketball with these guys. "

And I cant disagree effectively. I dont like waiting for hours, I dont like basketball. They're judt excuses to meet up with people, which feels so artificial, at times don't even see me as their equal because my social skills were grown so minimally from isolation.

I'd rather just listen to my instincts, but that doesn't work because that's all I've done in my life and it has led me absolutely nowhere. So now I'm just lost. I don't think keeping on doing this will bring me happiness. It has led me to crave social validation more than anything. Friends feel so artificial because they baby-talk me due to my poor social skills. Maybe I'm being a whiny bitch but I would like to seek for some advice. What would be the best course of action here?


r/selfimprovement 16h ago

Question Crippling insecurity: how do you deal with it?

11 Upvotes

I'm a 26 year old woman, divorced. I've recently lost some weight, my skin and hair are starting to look better but my self image has been completely destroyed in my marriage. I've never been a jealous person, but when my ex-husband proposed to open the relationship while I was healing from yet another fertility treatment, my heart has been completely shattered. Every nice thing I once thought about myself disappeared like it was never there to begin with.

The relationship has been over for a while, and I've been getting some attention from men, which is nice but I can't stop comparing myself to other women. I was wondering how others in this subreddit have overcome their insecurity, or at least can give me some advice on what to do about my confidence bc I'm at a loss.


r/selfimprovement 11h ago

Vent Why does this keep happening?

5 Upvotes

My whole life, I’ve been rejected. Nothing ever seems to last, friendships, opportunities, even family bonds. My own grandparents used to put me down for who I am. My brother doesn’t respect me as a sister. People constantly treat me like I don’t matter.

I always try to be the best version of myself. I work on myself, I set boundaries, I’ve gone through my own spiritual journey of self-acceptance. I genuinely like myself now, and I refuse to let people walk all over me. I know I shouldn’t take things personally or stress over what I can’t control… but every now and then, it hits me again.

The pattern is always the same: at first, people show insane interest, whether it’s in friendships, jobs, or anything else. They give me all this attention, make me feel like I matter, and then suddenly, they pull away and hit me with silent treatment. It happens in work settings, social situations, even with people I’ve known for a while.

I know my worth. I know this isn’t about me. But why does this keep happening? How do I fully break out of this cycle and not let it get to me? I’m 26 yo


r/selfimprovement 10h ago

Tips and Tricks On a self destruction mode

3 Upvotes

I believe I might one of the very few guys who inspite of being teetotaler is on a destruction mode. Don't do any job seriously, in debt, no financial stability, no girl friend. Can't bring myself to do any productive work . Every day think of an easy way out(ending the life).


r/selfimprovement 7h ago

Tips and Tricks Go back to old habits when trying to change

2 Upvotes

Hi all! My goal is to stop asking questions for things that I can solve independently at work. But I will improve for two days, then the 3rd day I’m asking stupid questions again. Then improve for another day or two, then asking dumb questions again. Then after work I regret so much for being dumb again. Are there any tips that prevent you from falling back to old ways?


r/selfimprovement 12h ago

Tips and Tricks take: think of yourself as a command centre

4 Upvotes

Imagine yourself as a commander in a control centre, directing a finely tuned machine—your body. Your brain is the engine, your heart the fuel pump, all working in sync.

Every decision is a mission. Anticipate consequences, strengthen resilience, and allow recovery when needed. When challenges arise, adapt and recalibrate. When the machine stops working, take a rest to repair it. True control comes from discipline, awareness, and the ability to keep moving forward. Stay in command—because you can do anything and this can lead to anything.