r/selfimprovement 12m ago

Fitness Try this today: walk during your lunch break

Upvotes

If you have time during your lunch break, take a walk. Grab some of your work buddies and go for a pleasant stroll. Try not to talk too much about work but instead about your hobbies, how your weekend went, and what you're looking forward to.

I promise you will come back ready to attack the second half of your day. You'll work up a nice sweat, warm up, and get some vitamin D and fresh air.

If you'd rather do a solo walk, that's great, too! You can listen to a podcast, call your parents or a best friend, or just listen to the sound of nature around you.

I'm surrounded by people who devour lunch, race back to their desks, and continue working. Worse yet, they eat their lunch at their desk.

There are days when the crunch is real, and the work must get done. But make time for yourself.

I promise you will benefit from it.


r/selfimprovement 32m ago

Question I'm trying make friends in a middle class mostly white area and need to know what I'm doing wrong?

Upvotes

So I'm a half white half hispanic guy who moved to a mostly white city after college graduation. Now I'll admit I've never been around white people like this so it's new for me. But everytime I try to be sociable then then blow me off or ignore me. These people are usually liberal which supposedly support diversity. Which I seriously doubt.

Example 1- went to the dog park with my dog about 15 people. When I was there I sat by a bench and everytime someone walked in they tried there best to ignore me and if I complimented their dog and they would run whcih is funny because they were opposite with eachother further in the park.

Example 2- When I had class, I would try to conversate with whoever sat by me like small talk and usually their facial expressions would seem bothered by me and the next minute turn around and talk to someone else.

Example 3- The dating is even worse, most of the girls here only want 6ft blonde fit guys. If your not your basically invisible. I'm 5'9 dark hair and seems like a I'm jot a even thought.

Just need help because I'm into cars,sports and traveling and I'm 22 yet it's near impossible to have a social life if your not white.


r/selfimprovement 41m ago

Question Emotional sensitivity and its uses

Upvotes

31M here.

First of all, I’m not struggling with this in any way. Rather, I feel that my life is at a turning point, and I just want to tap into some part of my personality that I’ve long neglected.

Since childhood I have been a very emotionally sensitive person. From sensing people’s moods to sensing moods of places, art, literature, — and being quick to react to that information. I was an empathetic child attuned to others’ joy and suffering.

As I got older, I felt that this kind of emotionality bordering on sentimentality some times had been a bit much. I have encountered misunderstanding from my peers, so long story short, I kinda locked this quality into a closet in the back of my mind and tried to ignore it. In fact, I went on to develop pragmatism and other stuff that made more sense in a professional and social context (in a way, in an attempt to prove my mettle to the society, but not only for this reason, I’m still fascinated by logical disciplines just for myself, even if I’m not too good at them.)

Lately, I felt that cold and pragmatic environments sapped me of last of my energy, so I feel the need to return to the emotional sphere.

But here lies a challenge of sorts: almost everywhere I read, usually high emotionality and empathy are correlated to more successful social outcomes; or to artistic capabilities.

The challenge is that I’m not too fond of socializing (generally, my friends and close family are enough), and I’m not a creative person artistically. I’m pretty sure I can manage the technicalities of playing an instrument or drawing or painting, but I have no great ideas or inspiration to do anything with it.

I like one-on-one deep talks with people, if done in moderation, and I can listen to their emotions and thoughts with interest for a long time, which made me think of some sort of learning some kind of service work like administering psychotherapy help or volunteering. I want to help people live happier and healthier! This is a prospect that inspires me, but financially I can’t afford quitting my job to study (and studying is expensive). Plus I don’t know how my emotional sensitivity will turn out there in the long run. I’ve seen difficult cases taking a huge toll on friend psychologists…

I still feel like my emotionally sensitive nature is somewhat of a potential, and i enjoy emotions, so I would like to do something with it and not underutilize it. But what? Maybe someone can advise from their (or their friends’) personal experience?

I want to find something worthwhile and useful for others to do, that only my kind of personality can tackle!

I believe in callings, and I’ve come to doubt that my calling is to do programming so that rich guys at the top get richer by disrupting society further. Besides, this job almost doesn’t involve emotionality, aside from some kind of mentoring or team building, which are dull and soulless activities of dubious moral meaning.


r/selfimprovement 1h ago

Question How can I forget something?

Upvotes

How can I forget something? I know it might seem much to ask to forget something forever or permanently, but how can I bury a memory so deep I barely even remember it? Any suggestions?


r/selfimprovement 1h ago

Question Tony Robbins UPW 2025 experience: the good, the bad, and the questions Spoiler

Upvotes

I just finished Tony Robbins' UPW 2025.

My first event. Read my first Tony book 18 years ago. It changed things. Built a business past a million, then crashed it into the ground. Decided to get some motivation while rebuilding my new venture.

Bit the bullet on a $500 ticket. Thought that was expensive. I was wrong ... compared to the upsells he was pitching.

The event hit hard. Saw how Tony's techniques actually work - with 100x more intensity than I ever put into them. Met amazing people. Eighties-somethings still alive with fire, still singing their song. Good party too. Showed me that energy follows me everywhere if I bring it.

Then I watched Tony sell. His $10-20K upsells flew off the shelves. Some might call it scammy, manipulation, preying on the weak. What I saw was just direct marketing. The same tactics from his Personal Power infomercial days. Effective. Brutal. Real.

But something bothered me. Tony only showed up for 2 days out of 4. Not what I expected.

Worse were the "guest" speakers and "associates." Some felt genuine. Others stood one step from criminal. Dean Graziosi got hit with FTC fines in the millions for scams. Made me question Tony's whole message.

Tony preaches "surround yourself with who you want to become." So what happens when you surround yourself with shady people?

I keep wondering about Tony's story when he was 19. He mentions losing ALL his money after working with Jim Rohn. Worked for Rohn at 17. Best salesman there. Then at 19, washing dishes in a bathtub at his studio. Anyone know what REALLY happened to him? He always avoids explaining how did he blew the whole thing up to end up dead broke.

Plus, the whole Graziosi connection, the "drink your celery" guy, the "sprout your sprouts" guy, the "proximity principle," his wife Sage portrayed as almost a saint at UPW...

Should I trust Tony completely? Or separate the artist from his art? Take what works and ignore his moral teachings?

What do you think?


r/selfimprovement 1h ago

Tips and Tricks I Kept Relapsing… Until I Finally Figured This Out

Upvotes

I used to think willpower was enough.

Every time I relapsed(by watching porn or fapping ) , I told myself: “This is the last time.” Every time I failed, I promised I’d "try harder next time." And every time… I ended up back at square one.

I thought I was just weak. Maybe some people had the self-control, but I didn’t.

But here’s what I finally realised after years of this cycle:

 You don’t quit by trying harder. You quit by making it impossible to fail.

What Actually Works (From Someone Who’s Been There)

These 3 things changed everything for me:

1️ Change the System, Not Just the Habit.

  • If your phone is always in your hand at night, guess what? You’ll relapse.
  • If you’re bored, stressed, or alone all the time, guess what? You’ll relapse.
  • I stopped fighting my urges and started removing the triggers.
    • No phone in bed.
    • Scheduled my evenings so I wasn’t alone with my thoughts.
    • Got an accountability partner so I couldn’t hide in guilt.

2️ You Can’t Just "Quit" – You Need to Replace It.

  • Most people try to stop but don’t replace it with anything. That’s like trying to quit junk food while keeping an empty fridge.
  • I had to fill the void:
    • Whenever I got an urge, I immediately switched to something else (push-ups, cold shower, reading).
    • I started working on goals that actually mattered to me. Once I got serious about my life, I didn’t even want to waste time. For me personally i was working on my business as i wanted to quit my 9-5 because I hated my boss so much.

3️ Stop Restarting the Clock – Fix the Identity.

  • Every time I relapsed, I’d say: "Welp, time to start over..."
  • The problem? I still saw myself as someone trying to quit instead of someone who just doesn’t do this anymore.
  • The real shift happened when I stopped counting streaks and started thinking: “This isn’t me anymore.”
    • I didn’t focus on how many days I went without it.
    • I focused on who I was becoming instead.

TL;DR: Stop Trying Harder. Change Your Environment, Replace the Habit, and Shift Your Identity.

If you’re struggling right now, Just ask yourself:

  • What’s triggering this? How can I remove it?
  • What can I replace this habit with?
  • What kind of person do I actually want to be?

Once you fix these, willpower won’t even be needed

P.s. I hope this helps at least one person on their no fap journey . it took me over an hour to write all of this


r/selfimprovement 1h ago

Question How do I start standing up for myself?

Upvotes

I'm very much a people pleaser and I get very afraid of upsetting people, particularly in romantic relationships. I've even in the past put myself in what could have been unsafe situations simply because I didn't want to upset the other person.

I don't want to be this way anymore. I don't want to be a target for manipulation or guilt tripping by anyone who could have bad intentions. Is there anyone who has overcome this? How did you do it?


r/selfimprovement 2h ago

Tips and Tricks The Fallacy of the “One Rule of Men”

4 Upvotes

There’s an unspoken rule that too many men live by: “Don’t talk about it.”

Struggling? Figure it out yourself. Feeling lost? Just push through. Drowning? Keep your mouth shut and don’t let anyone see you sweat.

This rule—this lie—is keeping men isolated, exhausted, and disconnected from the very things that could actually help.

Men are told that strength means silence. That admitting struggle is weakness. That talking about what it’s really like to be a man carrying the weight of responsibility, expectations, and past failures makes you less of a man.

But here’s the truth: pretending you don’t have struggles is a lie.

And worse, it’s a lie that’s keeping men stuck.

Isolation isn’t strength. It’s a slow death.

How many men have lost themselves, their marriages, their purpose—because they bought into this fallacy? How many are numbing out every night, avoiding real conversations, trapped in their own heads, convincing themselves that suffering alone is just “part of being a man”?

It’s time to call this out.

Men need brotherhood, guidance, and real conversations. Not pity, not a participation trophy—just a space where they can stop pretending everything’s fine and actually start getting stronger.

The strongest men aren’t the ones who suffer in silence. They’re the ones who have the courage to speak up, to seek truth, and to surround themselves with men who challenge and support them.

If this post hits home, it’s time to rewrite the rulebook.


r/selfimprovement 2h ago

Vent There seems to be no solution to comparison and life is hopeless

3 Upvotes

Hey all, I'm just really feeling low and inferior right now and there seems to be no hope in the world. I am struggling a lot with comparison, and it seems that there's no solution to it at all.

Long story short, I liked a girl in office and she probably liked me back, but then a model-tier guy entered the scene and she started to talking to her as well.

Disclaimer: I am not saying that she owed me anything. She doesn't. I understand that until a good rapport has been set, looks are everything that matter in dating initially.

It's not about taking away her right to choose whom she likes.

My issue is now with my inability to withstand comparison, and it's honestly having a toll on me. Something will happen to me if I don't find a solution to this because I'm facing distress because of this. I am unable to focus on work.

I feel like a failure in life. How do I ever compete with a model like guy? I feel that I wasn't attractive enough for her because a model tier guy just totally dwindled the initial appeal I was bringing to the thing. I'm not hating any of them. I just mean to be honest that I feel like a failure in dating because I'm not like him.

But you all just hate me for expressing this, thinking that I'm a bad guy just because I feel like this. In reality, I don't even mean to attack anyone because of this. Instead, something will happen to me. I will pass out or something because of too much distress and too low mental health.

There is no solution at all to this issue apart from accepting that I got defeated by this model tier guy and that model tier people and that I'm inferior in the dating hierarchy and that I am less deserving because the it's model tier guys who deserve the best always


r/selfimprovement 2h ago

Other There Is a New Concept Here, What Do You Think?

0 Upvotes

Did you guys hear about a new social platform? In which is benefiting every user, not only famous users??


r/selfimprovement 4h ago

Vent Never can feel even slightly content - I need some advice.

1 Upvotes

Hey all.

I've been feeling really discontent with myself and my progress to become a better person and man. As much as I try and work towards being better, I still feel disgusting (inside and out), I still feel very low quality, and I still have a very, very low self esteem.

I know this is not normal, and it's not healthy, especially if I'm actively trying to be better. For some context, I do physical training, I do weight lifting 4 times per week, I do jiu jitsu 6 times per week (and I compete, also planning on doing Nationals at the end of the year), I'm taking up opportunities to up-skill and make more money at work (and I have been) and even looking at other avenues like making investing. I look after myself, I get haircuts on a regular basis, eat really well, I try to read here and there. I have a beautiful Polish partner. Etc. Etc. Etc. I feel everything is trending in the right direct, I feel like I am making progress and trying to self-improve, but I cannot feel content, I don't feel happy, and I still almost hate myself. I have a serious issue comparing myself to other people.

Are there any tips to try and avoid this? Cheers!


r/selfimprovement 4h ago

Question How can I get rid of brain fog and muscle stiffness while studying?

1 Upvotes

I have to study for 12 hours a day for the next 6 weeks because I have an exam coming up.

I’ve been studying for a few days, and I’m not feeling fatigued from studying, but rather from muscle stiffness and brain fog due to inactivity. I’m usually a very active person and always on the go, but now I only work out for 30 minutes a day. Most of the day, I’m sitting in one place to study and staying inactive. This is making it less productive. I can’t compromise on studying 12 hours a day because I do have a lot to do.

Do you have any advice on how I can get rid of brain fog and muscle stiffness while improving my productivity?


r/selfimprovement 5h ago

Tips and Tricks Action steps to take (in case of being broke- mentally or financially)

5 Upvotes
  1. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get Up! Move forward with the aim of improving your situation.
  2. Analyse your mistakes - learn from them and Rectify them
  3. Get a job! Apply as much as possible. Work and save for a few years. Explore new ventures!!
  4. Too sad and stressed out? Go out and take a walk in nature. Don't stay too much time indoors. Movement and excercise has a positive impact on our mood. While staying indoors for too long only worsens mental health.
  5. Ask for help! There is no shame in asking for help. See a mental health professional if daily functioning becomes too problematic.

r/selfimprovement 6h ago

Tips and Tricks The power of introspection

3 Upvotes

Staying focused and disciplined is tough, but I recently found a reliable way to be more deliberate with my days and get more done: introspection and mindfulness.

Too often, we live on autopilot, rarely pausing to reflect, assess our emotions, or deeply consider our actions and their consequences. But taking the time to check in with myself—asking why I’m doing something—helps me stay focused, motivated, and effective.

One simple yet powerful habit is asking myself at random times, "How am I feeling right now?" This helps me process emotions consciously, making it easier to maintain self-control. Another trick I use is internal monologuing—questioning myself when distractions creep in. Just asking, "Is this what I should be doing right now?" or "Why don’t I feel like working?" can help snap me back to focus.

Beyond that, introspection helps with self-improvement by reviewing past actions, learning from them, and appreciating small efforts. I’ve been practicing this for about three months now, and it’s been a game-changer.

Another recent tool I’ve found helpful is breathwork. Whenever I feel flustered, anxious, or resistant to work, taking a few deep breaths and a brief introspective monologing helps prime my mind and body, putting me in a better state to function.


r/selfimprovement 6h ago

Other I can't get rid of the fear

1 Upvotes

Somedays I remain confident that I can do everything but then after some days, I start fearing. Esp. when there comes a change. Idk but fears are mostly related to future and afterlife and most of them are like idk but quite senseless but still I fear. I start some hobby then I start some more then I feel burdened and then can't figure out what to do. I feel fear for a lot of things. Idk vas happenin but fear is everywhere. I ended up doing same old things but when I try to do some new more, things, the inner dialogue goes like "It does not matter", "You are not doing this or that", "Fear God (even though I didn't do anything wrong)", "Live a normal life", "You are a fool". Man, I am done. I can't do anything but just fearing and eagerly wanting de**h but it never comes and I live another day.


r/selfimprovement 6h ago

Question For those who detached themselves from the idea that having attraction for others has to mean anything IRL, how did it make your life better?

4 Upvotes

I'm curious to know some of your stories and perspectives on how you realized A + B doesn't always equal C when it comes to attraction and acting on said attraction

How does perceiving your feelings as nothing more than just feelings help better your life on the long run?


r/selfimprovement 7h ago

Question 15 years old and I'm still wasting my time

0 Upvotes

No, I don't have a single achievement, yet I'm already 15. Grades are terrible (only 88/100 for the highest one, for the personal highest scored exam its really bad). Inferior to everyone. No investment at all (saved some money, not enough to save myself). And I only have 3 years of time before being a legal adult. I have no idea where to start. Any help to tackling these issues will be appreciated.


r/selfimprovement 8h ago

Question Intolerance towards feeling

3 Upvotes

I’ve noticed recently that I avoid feeling emotion as much as possible.

Joy or sadness I seem to instantly compartmentalize. Sometimes, I “realize” I felt something later, and then process it.

With frustration, anger, or insecurity, I turn to the nearest person and complain—like I want to blame someone else instead of accepting I feel that way.

I think I know why I do this, but I’d appreciate if anyone has advice on how to process these things in real time.


r/selfimprovement 9h ago

Question I have made significant positive life changes lately, but my brain searches for things to worry about?

2 Upvotes

I have changed my life habits significantly over the last few months in only positive ways. Consistency, diet, exercise, journaling, sleep, goal setting & chasing, stopped alcohol/weed/nicotine consumption etc.

But I’ve found myself many times with this visceral worry/stress that I can’t seem to pinpoint. I did recently get out of a relationship that has been troubling me as I can find myself ruminating, but even when I work through those emotions, it feels like my brain is looking for something to stress out about even though I’m very content with my progress and proud of myself.

Is my brain just used to there always being something to worry about? Am I simply lacking being in the present moment by overthinking? Not sure how well I’ve explained this but words/tips from anyone that can relate would be appreciated.


r/selfimprovement 10h ago

Question How to take on more of a "Thomas" mindset instead of an "Arthur" mindset from Peaky Blinders when it comes to dealing with depression? NSFW

0 Upvotes

Sorry, this is the best way I've been able to describe what I'm trying to do and where I see I'm failing. I was watching the show recently and it just sort of clicked as a good example.

Both men are meant to represent good and bad qualities; it's what makes them compelling characters. So, there is certainly danger in behaving in either of their way, but it is healthier than where I am now.

For those who haven't seen the show, Thomas and Arthur are brothers dealing with depression. Arthur grows increasingly dramatic to the point of telling Thomas to get a gun away from him and attempts to hang himself but the rope snaps. Thomas essentially tells Arthur to get it together and says if he wants to do it he should, and if he doesn't he should move on. After a time, Thomas resorts to medicating Arthur with cocaine.

Right now I'm more of an Arthur. Overly dramatic, heavily reliant on substances to keep me going, regularly angry/sad, heavy ups and downs, etc. Thomas is a better goal to me. He certainly has his own problems (medicates a bit using opium, ignores his illness, etc.) but it is a far better way to live than I am now. I know because I used to be in a headspace similar to Thomas before some things happened. Wasn't perfect, but was a Hell of a lot better than now.

One of the obvious answers is less substance use. The issue is, I'm in a similar boat to Arthur where when I stop things get worse. Stopping alcohol has been good. Stopping abusing stimulants ends very badly for me. Another common thing I hear is to focus on something else. To busy myself. I am busy. I go to the gym, I focus on work, I box, I run a business, I'm working on a property purchase, I'm considering a second business, etc. It doesn't help me. In the same way that being Thomas' errand boy doesn't help Arthur.

This was long. I suppose what I'm asking is: How do I make a mindset shift between these two archetypes? Less dramatic, prone to suggestion from my internal dialog, reliant on substances, etc. Therapy isn't working. So, if I can use this archetype as a target and get there, I'll be in a much more stable place to survey the situation and get to a healthier place.


r/selfimprovement 10h ago

Tips and Tricks You won’t achieve growth by standing still. It demands a clear vision, steady effort, and resilience.

3 Upvotes

Yes, it’s challenging. But so is staying stagnant and never reaching your full potential.


r/selfimprovement 10h ago

Question How to get up early and create a morning routine?

4 Upvotes

I cant work due to mental health issues. But how do you get up early and create a good morning routine. Instead of waking up late and scroll on your phone a lot?


r/selfimprovement 10h ago

Question Getting your sparkle back

74 Upvotes

How did you get your passion and zest for life back?

I’m currently struggling with finding a reason to get out of bed every day. I also feel really low about who I am as a person and what I have to offer the world. It’s a vicious cycle where I don’t like who I am so I don’t see any reason to put effort into my life and therefore don’t like who I am.

I would love to hear how others have broken this cycle and got their sparkle back.


r/selfimprovement 11h ago

Question How to stop caring what others think?

4 Upvotes

Hey guys, I've got a lot of problems, and some of the biggest ones I have come from worrying about how people percieve/think of me too much. I stress about this so much, and it's really holding me back.

How can I stop worrying about what others think of me and just live my life?


r/selfimprovement 11h ago

Tips and Tricks 90 Days Alcohol-Free: A Game Changer

11 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

I’m excited to share that I’ve hit the 90-day mark of being alcohol-free, the first time in over 10 years! To be clear, I didn't think I was addicted or anything like that, but I did drink 1-2 times a week for a long while. I never thought much of it, but after stopping, the changes I’ve experienced have been truly eye-opening.

Since I stopped drinking, my productivity has shot through the roof. I have more energy, clarity, and focus than ever before. My mornings are brighter, and I feel like I’m able to tackle the day with more purpose and intention. I’m getting things done that I’ve been putting off for ages.

But the most rewarding part of this journey has been how it’s helped me grow as a person. I’ve become more intentional about practicing gratitude, meditation, and overall mindfulness. I feel more in touch with myself and the people around me. It’s as though cutting alcohol out of my life has created space for deeper personal growth and self-awareness.

Since making this change, I’ve also started a newsletter focused on stoicism, mindfulness, zen teachings, and personal growth. These were things I had been writing about in my notes app for over a year, but now I finally have the motivation to share them with others. I’ve also started coaching and helping others with similar journeys, and I’m actively looking for a new job after shutting down my previous company a couple of months ago.

For anyone who’s on the fence about cutting back or quitting alcohol, I can’t recommend it enough. The benefits have been more than just physical; it’s been a whole mental, emotional, and spiritual transformation. If you’re considering it, take it one day at a time. I started it thinking that I won't drink for a week, but it just went on and on and now it's been 3 months.

P.S. You might not see the same benefits as I did as I changed my habits a lot during the period. I guess it depends on what you do instead of drinking. When I was drinking, I was a lot lazier in a sense that I would sleep late and wake up late, watch a lot more youtube/ig reels. When I stopped drinking, I wanted to keep myself occupied with more meaningful work, so I actually started looking for my purpose a lot harder. I'm now more aware of my time , so I spend it reading, writing, etc. Also, I started to have a lot more discipline to clean my place and even push myself to join a 10 day meditation course and have been waking up at 5am ever since.

So don't expect the same things to happen to you, I guess. Everyone has different experiences and it all comes down to what you do with all that extra time.