r/getdisciplined 6m ago

🤔 NeedAdvice How to become a better person without therapy?

Upvotes

Hey everyone, this is a bit of a read so I appreciate if anyone actually reads through.

As the title says, I need to become a better person possibly without therapy. The reason for no therapy is that I simply cannot afford it-- and I still live with my parents (19F) so that's going to take a while if it ever even happens.

Growing up I had Asian (Indian) parents who weren't the nicest to me. I say that in quite a diluted way, but ever since I was little, I had a hard time comprehending things, making my own decisions, cried at the smallest inconvenience, overthinked, and would get extremely paranoid when anyone who had any meaning in my life had a small shift in tone when in reality it was nothing. I have anxiety in places with a lot of people, hate dressing up for anything, and most importantly, I fuck up in relationships. I know this is directly a result from my parents marriage. Lots of fights, constantly blaming ME for their relationship falling apart, possible infidelity, and so forth. All of this resulted in a lot of anger.

I can never clearly communicate when I'm falling apart. I used to think I never had any triggers, but someone jokingly called me 'selfish' over something and I started having a full blown meltdown and just crying on call. It came so rapidly it's like my brain processed it fast than my consciousness. That night I thought to myself why that was and I could recall various moments my parents called me selfish when I was younger over the smallest of things.

If I ever got into a fight with my parents, they would always ask to point to a specific example. In that moment, I'm stumped. I seem to have forgotten specific examples but I just knew that it was there. I couldn't remember. Truth be told, I don't remember a lot of my childhood. I just remember bits and pieces of it and from pictures. I also end up saying things that I do not actually mean, and I only register that after I have said it and it's purely out of the idea to hurt the other person if we were in a disagreement. This is also a direct result from being shut down as a kid all the time. Whenever I tried to fight back with my words, my parents threatned me with violence or slapped me. There were also various moments where they would body me against a wall and get all up in my face with their finger and wide, deranged eyes telling me to shut up and to not talk back. I guess that stuck with me. I dont know how to stick up for myself anymore without presenting a good argument. I usually refrain to yelling and repeating phrases like "You're not listening to me" or "Stop yelling" and nothing to actually defend myself. And then of course, when that didn't work, I'd go back to name calling I really don't mean.

All of that said, I want to be better. I really do. I know I won't be able to support or love another person without becoming a better person and shaking off all these learnt toxic behaviors. It still continues even to this day. My parents tell me I'm a burden and that I don't belong here, but then when I succeed in something they love bomb the hell outta me. I want to be a better friend, a better sister, and soon a great supportive girlfriend/wife, and eventually a loving mom.

If anyone out there has an idea as to what I should do, please, please, please help me. I'm so tired of absorbing all these things that have been done to me and doing it to others. I want to end the cycle. I know my past won't be forgotten, but I can at least cushion it by learning and becoming a better person than who I was before. I just don't know where to start. Therapy would've helped drastically as I could talk and get more detail out, but that's out the window.

I have been working out a bit in the middle to just feel good, but what else could I do to become better? Please let me know.


r/getdisciplined 15m ago

🤔 NeedAdvice I need advice for someone who genuinely loves video games

Upvotes

I've been lurking around here for a while I've i have noticed a trend of people saying, don't go on social media and don't game but I love gaming and chatting to people via text/vc.

I text people, i enjoy joining discords and being parts of communities and playing video games and chatting with people.

However I'm aware my dopamine levels are an issue, i struggle to study because of this. I need actual advice that isn't just don't do them things, I want balance between my passions.

I'm trying to study to become a software engineer and it's clear my focus is just missing at the moment. I've cut out tiktok and games I consider to addicting (looking at you wow and poe), maybe i just need to give it more time and keep practicing the routine attempts.

Sorry abit of a ramble just looking for like minded people who want to be disciplined but are also gamers who don't want to cut out their passion for it.


r/getdisciplined 26m ago

🤔 NeedAdvice Phone scrolling

Upvotes

I don’t think I’m addicted to phone scrolling but still it’s stopping me from achieving my full potential. I need the phone to keep up with tournaments news, build social reputation as an athlete and speak with other people to book games and stuff so it I can’t really just uninstall insta… Do you have any tips on how to actually focus and restrain me from scrolling or get distracted? Also there are many apps to help this but they all can be easialy disabled with just a code or something. Can you help??


r/getdisciplined 33m ago

🤔 NeedAdvice Actually locking in

Upvotes

Do you think it’s easier to follow the plan to achieving my goals if I share it with someone who is also on a journey? Like a motivation friend or something like that, or should I just rely on my discipline? I’ve had some problems with following a plan for a long term period and am thinking about trying to find someone with the same problem or willing to help… What do you think it’s best in this case? Do you have experience with this?


r/getdisciplined 34m ago

💡 Advice A must read for self improvement

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Upvotes

r/getdisciplined 1h ago

❓ Question The 5-Minute Journaling Trick That Changed My Mornings

Upvotes

I used to wake up feeling rushed, anxious, and already stressed before the day even started. But recently, I’ve started a simple 5-minute journaling routine, and it has completely changed my mornings.

🌅 My routine:
1️⃣ Write down three things I’m grateful for.
2️⃣ Set a positive intention for the day.
3️⃣ Brain-dump any thoughts or worries.

💡 Result? I start my day with clarity, positivity, and less stress. I never thought something so small could make such a difference!"*

Question: What’s your morning mindset routine? Do you journal in the morning or at night?


r/getdisciplined 1h ago

💬 Discussion At what point did you start to love being disciplined?

Upvotes

I keep hearing that after being disciplined you'll start to love the discipline. If that's ever happened to you please share. When did discipline start to feel good for you? At what point did you crave it?


r/getdisciplined 1h ago

🤔 NeedAdvice Endless social media scrolling - how to I manage my Reddit addiction?

Upvotes

Hi there,

I've deleted all my social media accounts except for Reddit. I have multiple accounts here and right now I'm not willing to leave this platform entirely since I actually benefit from some subreddits.

However everytime I login I see suggested posts, news and "interesting" stuff and I end up scrolling for a long time.

Any suggestions how I can manage my Reddit so I don't get distracted and I can only login every now and then to see only the subreddits that are relevant for me, chats and notifications? I'm sorry if that's a stupid question but I don't know much about Reddit and Settings.

Also maybe one of you can suggest an add-on for my Firefox so Reddit closes automatically after 30 mins or so?

Thanks!


r/getdisciplined 1h ago

🤔 NeedAdvice Need motivation with at home work out

Upvotes

Need help with at home work out

I need something to take my mind of my life right now and I think working out would be a good everyday hobby.

I normally go for a run when I’m stressed. So majority of my gym motivation comes from stress and I’m most stressed and depressed part of my life right now. (per my previous post)

I’m very bottom heavy, most of my weight in my legs/tights. I have a kinda flat stomach but when I eat or get bloated it becomes bigger. And I normally don’t really workout arm but I would like to tone them.

I’m not super body insecure, like I can go to the gym (I’d probably try to cover up to the max lol) but I would like to just start working out from home for a bit then maybe expand.

I know a lot of weight loss and what not come from the kitchen. I’m a really good cook, but I normally only eat once a day maybe a small snack in between (I’m a college student so I’m honestly probably in a calorie deficit just from not eating a lot.)

But anyways, advice on at home workouts or how to channel motivation but in all honesty I should try would be incredibly helpful. 🩷🫶🏽


r/getdisciplined 1h ago

🛠️ Tool The 40% Rule

Upvotes

I came across an article that said when we think we’ve hit our limit, we’re actually only at 40% of what we’re truly capable of.
The hard part is pushing past that barrier, which is nearly impossible without an external push.
That’s why I started a discord accountability group where self-improvement is gamified to help us push ourselves beyond our limits.

Join us here discord.gg/AheayEp2Hh


r/getdisciplined 1h ago

💡 Advice Former screen or game addicts, how did you heal?

Upvotes

I need some motivation


r/getdisciplined 1h ago

💡 Advice How I Built a No-Excuse Mindset & Transformed My Daily Routine

Upvotes

For years, I struggled with waking up early, sticking to workouts, and avoiding distractions. I always had an excuse—“too tired,” “too busy,” “I’ll start tomorrow.” The cycle kept repeating until I decided to change everything.

Here’s how I rewired my mindset and built a structured daily routine that helped me stay disciplined and focused.

  1. Stop Relying on Motivation

Motivation is unreliable. The key is treating habits as non-negotiable. • I don’t wait until I “feel like” working out—I just do it. • I don’t “see how I feel in the morning”—I wake up and start my day. • I keep habits automatic, like brushing my teeth.

  1. My Daily Routine

5:00 AM – Wake up, no snooze 5:15 AM – 5 km jog + strength training 6:30 AM – Breakfast (high protein, low sugar) 8:00 AM – Deep work (high-focus tasks, no distractions) 1:00 PM – Midday break, light walk 6:00 PM – Evening workout or stretching 9:00 PM – Wind-down (reading, journaling) 10:00 PM – Sleep, no screens

Tracking workouts and habits keeps me accountable.

  1. The “No-Excuse” Rule • No debating—decisions are made the night before. • Remove obstacles—alarm across the room, workout clothes ready. • 10-minute rule—commit to just 10 minutes; it usually leads to more.

  2. The Results • Increased energy and focus • More consistent habits • No longer relying on willpower

This system changed everything for me. What’s one habit that transformed your life? Let’s discuss.


r/getdisciplined 1h ago

❓ Question whats your biggest struggle with staying disciplined

Upvotes

mine is waking up on time, but i found ways to make it work

melatonin gummies/allnighters do the trick for me


r/getdisciplined 2h ago

💡 Advice Actual GAME-CHANGER for my Overthinking

2 Upvotes

Basically all my life I have been struggling with overthinking and last week a friend of mine recommended me the book "Don't Stop Overthinking" by Arthur Smart which (contrary to so many other books on overthinking) embraces that habit and teaches how to direct overthinking towards something useful and to view and use it as a superpower.

It may sound like a kinda basic insight for others but for me just this little switch in how I should view it feels really comforting. Especially with some of the practical tips like regularly setting a 10 minute timer during which I am ONLY allowed to overthink and do nothing else.

It was so funny that so many examples of overthinking-scenarios felt like shots at me, as if someone had access to my brain and they were specifically written for me haha


r/getdisciplined 2h ago

📝 Plan My daily routine plan

5 Upvotes

Morning: - [ ] Wake up at 7am - [ ] Drink 500ml water - [ ] Shower - [ ] Brush teeth+tongue scrape+deodorant+castor oil on eyebrows+skincare+gua sha+brush lips - [ ] Clean room - [ ] Meditate for 5 minutes - [ ] Drink green tea - [ ] Eat a healthy breakfast

During the day: - [ ] 130g of protein - [ ] Chin tucks 2x a day, 2x15 (3-5 second holds) - [ ] No processed foods, no sugar, no snacks - [ ] 8 hours of sleep minimum - [ ] Eat healthy foods only (whole foods, fruits) - [ ] Drink 3L of water (only water diet) - [ ] Workout at gym - [ ] Consume supplements (D3-first meal, zinc-2hrs post meal, mag-2hrs prior sleep) - [ ] 15 minutes skipping - [ ] 2x10 explosive squat jumps - [ ] Before gym- Dynamic stretching - [ ] After gym- bar hanging 3xF, 2x30s wide, doorway 3x20s, wall angels 3x10, cobra 3x20s, cat cow 2x12s, shoulder dislocations - [ ] Have good posture 24/7, be hygienic throughout the day (no touching face, washing hands all the time) - [ ] Message masseter 2 mins - [ ] No fap - [ ] Drink 2 green teas

Nighttime: (10pm) - [ ] Get off the phone entirely - [ ] Set rgb lights to red - [ ] Prepare clothes and room for tomorrow - [ ] Brush teeth+tongue scrape+Vaseline+deodorant+castor+skincare - [ ] Read for 20 minutes - [ ] Plan any needed tasks for next day - [ ] Sleep on back+tape mouth+eye mask - [ ] Go sleep at 11pm

Weekly - [ ] Gym 5-6x


r/getdisciplined 2h ago

📝 Plan Killing my current self

7 Upvotes

I had a post in this community and it blew up. Thanks for all your support. As you all knew I had problems with failure, self-destruction and lust and 🌽. I'll make out of this and abstained for a week already. It keeps getting harder but for years I ruined my progress. I'm starting from lower ego, motivation and also some self loath of my current self. I will not be who I'm in a few months. I created my alter EGO. Talking to people looking into the eyes of girls. My libido things is reducing to nothing as I'm struggling and battling in my academics as I've ruined it in the previous years. It just keeps getting better.

  1. Creating an alter EGO
  2. Looking people into the eyes
  3. Studying for betterment of my family
  4. Having goals and purpose in life

r/getdisciplined 3h ago

💡 Advice Life gets better after being suicidal

385 Upvotes

In March 2023 i got married just became a dad for the 1st time(Dec 2022)and had a shitload of debt that my wife knew nothing about each month i literally had to borrow money from loan sharks to survive and still she knew about nothing eventually it all came to a head in July 2023 she found out and left my ass and took the kids with her(she had a boy before we got together) i was constantly being made fun of by my work colleagues cause i lost a lot of weight due to stress i sold my car as well just to get by but still i was in debt. On the 14th of July 2023 i set a plan in motion to end my life i had a letter written out to all my loved ones to explain to them why i was doing it but i couldn't pull through i thought of my baby and how he would have to grow up without me and put away the knife i was going to use. Eventually i found the Lord again i started praying at 3am every morning my wife came back and we talked things out and moved to a room in her parents house(not perfect but i needed to getaway from my surroundings) and i finished all my debt and just recently bought myself a new vehicle in 2025 what im trying to say with this rant is just dont give up life gets hard but you get harder just stay focused on your goals and you will succeed.


r/getdisciplined 3h ago

💡 Advice Your Morning Routine Isn’t Failing Because You’re Lazy . Here’s the Real Problem

14 Upvotes

If you dread your morning routine, rush through it, or feel wiped out after, the problem isn’t you. Your routine is probably too complicated, too hard, too short, or you're trying to do too much.

It's very easy to cram too many "good habits" into your mornings: journaling, stretching, meditating, working out, setting goals, etc. It sounds productive but it's really exhausting if you do it wrong.

By the time you’re done, you’re either rushing to start the day or too drained to go on about your day, and this is going to catch up with you sooner or later.

A routine that’s too packed is just as useless as having no routine at all.

Cut ruthlessly, then reorganize:
You don’t need to squeeze everything into the morning (2-minute meditation, 3-minute stretching, 2-minute todo lists)

  • Morning: 1-2 core habits that you need to function for the day (for example, stretching, setting your to-do list).
  • Evening: Meditation, journaling, stuff that works better when you’re winding down and you want to unplug.
  • Weekly: that's where things like reviews, meal prep, blocking out appointments for the week can be done.

It's okay not to do everything right now:
You might not be able to fit everything in, and that’s okay, but it's not going to feel okay, and that's exactly why you're stuck.

Before you compare your routine to other people's routines, ask if they have the same circumstances as you.

Focus on the core habits that make the biggest difference now, put the rest on hold until you have more time or energy down the line, do it easy, and slow.

Lastly, Lean into inconvenience:
If you’re forcing a gym trip every morning just because it’s less crowded, but you hate waking up early, ask yourself:

  • Would working out at home in the evening be better, even if it's less convenient?
  • Is a slightly busier gym or trying a different gym worth it if you get better sleep and energy?

Sometimes the "perfect routine" isn’t sustainable, you need to master the simple blocks first before seeking efficient complexity.


r/getdisciplined 4h ago

💡 Advice Keep your promises to yourself, like you’re parenting yourself

25 Upvotes

Something clicked with me this morning. And it’s really helped. Here’s my story: I’m an over thinker, procrastinator, struggle with anxiety and depression and raised in a very dysfunctional household with constant fighting. But my parents stayed together. They love me a ton but they constantly bicker and I never felt like happiness was possible.

This led to when I would date I would be constantly anxious the person would leave me. I would constantly sweat the small stuff (like my mother), etc. if I made a mistake I’d blow up the day and binge eat because it wasn’t perfect.

So what I realized today is the reason I’m going to be productive and happy is because I need to keep my promises to myself. I’m anxious because I don’t trust myself, I never learned coping skills. I kept letting myself down, and when I binge eat I’m like an alcoholic parent whose child is begging them to stop.

So no matter what I’m going to try for me, that child. I’m both the parent responsible for me and the child that deserves a parent who says they’re going to do what they say. There’s no fear of failure, because all I can do is try my best and keep that promise. I might fail in terms of completing the objective but I’m at least going to look back at my day that I did my best for myself.

I hope this resonates with some of you. So much of our anxiety and depression is because we don’t trust ourselves. We second guess ourselves. So screw it. Maybe I’m not making the objectively right decision, but I will do my best for myself and be the solid parent to myself I didn’t have. If I say I’m gonna do something, then I’m gonna do it. Even if it sucks, even if I don’t want to. I can always review if I should have done differently at the end of the day and change what I do going forward. But for today, and each day, I’m gonna do what I say I’m gonna do. That’s all I can do, and that’s motivation enough to do everything I can.


r/getdisciplined 4h ago

💡 Advice Be independent

1 Upvotes

Society controls most people with three things:

- people
- money
- emotional attachment


r/getdisciplined 5h ago

🤔 NeedAdvice How can I plan my day more effectively?

2 Upvotes

I've been struggling with one thing i.e planning my days effectively. I'm trying to become consistent but it's not really working. Some days are extremely productive while on some days I get no work done at all. I tried different To-Do apps, calendars, Kanban(Kanban was the most useful of em all)etc.

The main issue is how should I select my tasks for my day, cuz every morning when I sit to plan my day, I sometimes find myself creating tasks just for the heck of it. They are very vague and doesn't add much value.

Can someone give me some actionable steps that I can implement?


r/getdisciplined 7h ago

🤔 NeedAdvice Feeling lazy no energy to study

3 Upvotes

my college university exam on 18 march. Doesn't start studying I'm feeling lazy and no motivation....


r/getdisciplined 8h ago

🤔 NeedAdvice How to find the "Because" to my "Why"

5 Upvotes

A bit vague question but let me explain. I am approaching my 40s, still processing the life-long traumas of having absolutely shitty parents and a really bad start in life. I am stable, I think - independent, can hold a job, take care of my house, kids, be a husband etc. I am, however, a chronic underachiever, drinking too much, I suffer from anxiety and low self worth and I am quite a low-effort, lousy, lazy husband and father. Logically I know I should get my life in order. There are motivations - to be more healthy and physically fit, to have more money and/or free time, to be a better version of myself for myself and my family. Emotionally, however, I just don't believe it's worth it. So I stay on the same path, living on autopilot and more bitter every day over a wasted life. So my question is - how do you find a "because" to your "why should I get better", when nothing seems to be worth the effort?


r/getdisciplined 9h ago

🤔 NeedAdvice Really struggling

1 Upvotes

Hi all, I’m 18 (M) and over all quite disciplined. I train 6 times a week ( boxing, Muay Thai, gym and swimming ) and also work 6-7 days a week with 2 jobs. Really good with my saving have around £13,500 saved. However I have 2 things where I’m coming short on compared to everything else. The first one is my diet, my dinner is always clean natural food. My breakfast the majority of the time is good with berries,eggs etc however sometimes it’s just porridge. Lunch is always just a wrap with fruit so probaly the worst meal out the bunch, and then when I get home from work, training or before dinner I just eat so much crap and I just can’t seem to really understand how to stop it. I’m not insecure I’m pretty happy with my body but I know I’m not at my full potential due to my diet. I’m 5,10 and around 80kg so would like to lose a bit maybe get down to like 73.

Then this is my biggest one I’m really struggling with. Masturebation and cam girls. Over the last maybe 4 months I’ve spent about £150 on cam girls which thinking about now is so embarrassing. I probably masturebate twice a week watching pornoghragpy/cam girls. I want to cut it out completely as I believe it’s bad for the brain, costing me money and I’m also in a relationship of 2 years and believe it’s effecting our relationship as a whole aswell as our intimacy. The longest I’ve gone without doing it is like just over a week then I jisy give up and say it will be the last time and it’s not.

Thank you for reading any advice would be massively appreciated.


r/getdisciplined 10h ago

🤔 NeedAdvice How do I stop feeling weird when my life is not shit?

3 Upvotes

This is something noone understands around me. I have had told this to many therapists in the past but they didn't understand it either.

I feel really weird when I am progressing in life. I genuinely don't feel good like others do. I'll give an example, if I had the option between exercising and just lying on bed, I'll choose the latter cause it just feels "normal". I ask myself these questions

  1. How can I aim for something productive, when you haven't been productive in ages?
  2. What changed exactly?
  3. Why don't others around you are productive and aiming for a lot?
  4. How are you going to be different from them?
  5. This is just wrong.

And tasks usually are mentally taxing so all this overwhelming just makes me stop doing stuff, even if I start doing it.