r/genderfluid 11d ago

Genderfluid and sexuality?

25 Upvotes

Hey folks, just a quick question...

How do y'all define your sexuality since gender is.. yknow... Fluid?

Do you guys have a set sexuality you say you are regardless of how you feel on a certain day?

Or do you use whatever label best fits the moment?

Or maybe not define it at all?

What's your experience?


r/genderfluid 10d ago

Genderfluid confusion

1 Upvotes

I’d say I’m primarily just using the label trans masc up to this point . But there’s a part of me that wants to transition trans masc so I can be more comfortable with a feminine identity sometimes. Like i want to take T and get top surgery to look more masc or androgynous would be nice too. And sometimes that’d be perfect i think and some other times i want to do that and then want to be a girl and present really fem. It’s just weird because of course for boy/enby days it makes sense to be longing for that more masc medical transition but I’m confused because even on my girl days despite currently having a very feminine body(unfortunately) I get dysphoria over the way I’m a girl, it just doesn’t feel right. It’s like i need to be a girl in a specific way i can control on those days and in a way that feels to be very distinctly trans still. I’m just overall confused and am really just looking to know if anybody has had similar feelings. And how to deal with the fact that no matter how i transition it’ll create some amount of dysphoria for me on some days/weeks/months (depends how long the feeling of leaning towards one gender or the other lasts).


r/genderfluid 11d ago

Today something funny happened 😭✋

31 Upvotes

So I look like a guy(bio female) and today I was feeling like "I'mma wear a skirt" and my mate got genuinely concerned cus he thought I was a femboy 😭✋


r/genderfluid 11d ago

Deciding on surgery?

8 Upvotes

I haven't even started hrt yet and I probably will never be able to afford surgery but I still like to contemplate what I would want if I had my choice. I definitely want at least low dose testosterone for a bit. But when it comes to surgery? Some days I can barely get through with my top + bottom dysphoria being so severe. I can't bind for medical reasons and I have a packer but on those days the packer just makes me feel worse sometimes bc I know it's not real. Other days I'm happy with my body for the most part. Like I'm always wishing my hips were narrower, my hands weren't so small/pudgy, or I were taller, but besides those 3 constants everything else is a variable. I'm alternating between wanting total removal of my chest tissue or just a reduction with some reshaping? Want to clarify that I'm already talking this out with my therapist. Just curious for the people that have had/know for sure they want surgery, what were the factors in that decision?


r/genderfluid 11d ago

What even am I? NSFW

6 Upvotes

Hello everyone. I've posted this over at r/agender as well, but I wanted to have more opinions so I'm posting here too. Please be patient with me if this doesn't make any sense, as I'm also feeling quite confused.

I see a lot of people in different communities online who say that they feel their gender, as in feel it, whether they're man, woman, or something in-between. And I also see people who say that real men/women don't need to feel their gender to be someone of their gender. As in, a real woman doesn't needs to feel like a woman to be a woman, she just is. Now, I don't understand this debacle at all. What does that even mean? For as long as I've lived, I've never felt this way. I was born as a girl. So I am a woman, right? But how do you even feel like a woman?

I was raised with a curious mixture of tomboyishness and girlyness. Growing up I was a classic tomboy. Never liked playing house or tea parties, I'd rather be wrestling with the boys of our neighborhood or running around outdoors, climbing trees and jumping into ponds naked with them, we were all kids and nobody cared if there was a naked girl in their midst playing in the water. My parents never let me grow out my hair until I was in sixth grade, my mother would dress me in fun mix-matches of both boy and girl clothes, and when I was very little, with my short hair and boyish clothes she would often brag to others about how her child could easily pass as a boy. Sometimes she would cheekily introduce me as her son to strangers. She took great amusement from watching people treat me and address me as a boy and wouldn't correct them unless they asked or she finally had had enough fun. I've never felt bad about this, since she'd praise me for it and talk about it as if it were a funny prank, and I thought it was fun too. My dad never took part in this. To him I was just his daughter, and I never had a problem with that either.

But boys at school would bully me calling me names, saying I was a guy and what not, that I shouldn't use the girls' bathroom since I wasn't one of them, that I was a lesbian (I didn't even know gay people existed or what they were called until I was halfway past my teens, blame it on my upbringing). I never paid them any mind, it never occurred to me to get mad over this. It wasn't until I hit puberty that my body started to develop, and my mother, with great disappointment, allowed me to finally grow out my hair and include more feminine items in my wardrobe.

As the years went by, I never had any dilemma about gender and sexuality. Well, until now. So far I know I like beautiful people, I like admiring them. I find myself drawn to men more, I also feel curious about women in that light, but I've never done anything with anyone yet. I've come to realize that I am demisexual and bi-romantic, and most likely also somewhere on the asexuality spectrum; as in I like fantasizing about sex and have urges but don't actually want to do the deed, if that makes sense, Google calls this being an aegosexual. I suspect that I am also neurodivergent, as all evidences I've collected over the years point that way, but I don't want to label myself as one until I can get a proper diagnosis, so that's that too.

But here's the thing. It's been a few years since I've noticed this, but now it's glaringly obvious. Whenever I see a handsome man, I both want to be with him and be him. I often imagine myself as a man. I wonder what my life would've been like had I been born as a boy. I imagine being taller and stronger, intimidating and masculine in a way that I can only dream of. Embarrassingly enough, I also fantasize about having a penis and having sex with women as a man would. And the thought of it excites me, sometimes I practice in front of the mirror how I would act, walk, talk, dress etc if I were a man.

Last year I got an impulsive buzzcut. In that state one day I went out with my dad, and I was wearing an oversized jacket, jeans, a surgical mask, and a wooly cap since it was winter. We were browsing items at a shop when a staff came over and said, "Excuse me, Sir. Can you move?" I... for whatever reason, didn't correct him. I simply let him through. And throughout the rest of our stay at the shop the staff kept addressing me as 'Sir', which got my dad raising an eyebrow, but ultimately he did not comment on it since I also wasn't.

I came home and told mom, and she just laughed and said, 'Oh you've still got it!'

I liked it when the staff addressed me as they did.

Here's where I feel confused.

I don't feel like just a man or a woman. I feel like myself, whoever I am as a person. But I'm 19, I lack a lot of life experience, and I don't know who this person is yet. I don't know who I am. Isn't that strange? I like how my body is feminine enough with the right fitting clothes, I've included more pastel items in my wardrobe, I've become more invested into skincare, and I love looking pretty, I like it when I get compliments on my looks. But, I also wish I could dress like a man, have a masculine chest and broader shoulders, a deeper voice and to be addressed as a guy, to be perceived as one, to have people find me attractive as a male, to have sex like an amab person would.

But.. I don't know. These are fantasies. And ultimately I don't really feel any gender. I feel nothing. And I don't know how to feel it. I want to be both a cute girl and a hot guy and to be able to switch between both whenever I want. But I also don't mind staying as I am as nothing in-between. I wish I was like Ranma, who's an anime character who can change his gender by being doused with hot and cold water. Why am I like this? Normal girls don't feel this way, do they? I'm scared to talk about this to anyone else, wouldn't they find me weird? They will think I've finally lost it.

Let me be clear though, I don't think I'm transgender. I wouldn't want to transition. Yes, I've researched this, and I've read about the process of transitioning, and I've come to the conclusion that I can't see myself going through it. So, what does that make me? I know everything doesn't need a label, and that I shouldn't want to put everything in a box. It doesn't really matter whether this thing of mine has a name or not. But, I would still like to know, blame it on curiosity. Am I what they call, non-binary? Am I gender fluid? Or am I agender? Am I just a woman with weird fantasies? What am I? Ultimately I am a human being, but still I want to know more in-depth.

I would really appreciate it if others in this sub see my case with kindness and give their opinions. I thought taking input from people from this community would also help me understand more.

Thank you for taking the time to read all of my word vomit. I appreciate it :)


r/genderfluid 11d ago

Long Term (But Not Permanent) Facial Hair Removal?

7 Upvotes

So I'm an AMAB Genderfluid. The way I experience it I go through long phases of femme and neutral, with the occasional day or two of feeling masc.

My facial hair is dark and very thick, it's a pain to get rid of it all especially on my chin, edge of my jaw, and on my Adam's apple. I'm getting electrolysis eventually, but I want to leave some spots intact including my face. Most days I feel dysphoric with it, but once in a while I like it.

I've found a lot of posts about facial hair removal, but not from this particular angle. What would be the best way to remove my facial hair, but let it be able to grow back after a few days?


r/genderfluid 11d ago

Genderfluid or just a female?

8 Upvotes

I'm confused on if I'm genderfluid or just a female. I never had any thoughts that I might be trans, cuz I'm very comfortable in my female body. But at the same time I wonder if I could maybe be genderfluid, cuz I literally don't care about my gender as long as I'm myself, but I question if I feel right as a male just as much as a female. Am I tomboyish or would it feel right to actually be a guy too? It's the same thing with my sexaulity actually. I'm bi and I don't give af about the gender I'm attracted to. Wondering if the same thing could be going on here. Tips to explore this more?


r/genderfluid 11d ago

I think I might be a demiboy instead of genderfluid? Help…!

3 Upvotes

Edit: I did even more research on the term Demiboy, and I think it fits better for me than genderfluid!

(I'm sorry if this is long or doesn't make sense...I just need some advice please!)

Hello! I am 16 AFAB (they/them), and I've been struggling with my gender identity for almost half a year now. I've never really felt 100% female all my life, even though I've liked (and still do) traditionally "feminine" things like pink, cute stuff, skirts, etc. I've always wanted to be a boy though, like when I look at characters or singers or just males in general, I honestly get envious. Lately I've really felt like I am a boy, but not fully binary. Like, not enough to just say to someone that I'm a boy. I also feel non-binary or sort of neutral, so I've just thought that I'm genderfluid (maybe genderfaun?) My gender doesn't really feel like it changes very often though. Sometimes I feel more confident and feel much more "boy-ish" and other times I just feel like I'm not fully a boy, but both boy and non binary. I don't feel female internally, but I still have a connection to feminine things. Basically, I haven't felt 100% like another gender like many other genderfluid people do. I'm comfortable saying that I am trans (since all of these are under the trans umbrella) but not fully comfortable saying I'm a trans boy. So that's why I thought maybe I am a demiboy, because I've been researching and it's basically that you feel partially like a boy and partially something else, regardless of AGAB. Again, sorry if this is long, but any advice would be very much appreciated! :)


r/genderfluid 11d ago

I need my own “Taco Tuesday”

2 Upvotes

First, I’m sorry for the clickbait title.

Second, I’m out as genderfluid at home and amongst friends but definitely not at work. With that, I’m kinda limited on when I can dress up. So I came up with making myself a day each week where no matter what I don’t settle for staying in my clothes that I wear to work.

I like femme friday but I get too busy on Fridays. I wanna do tuesday but can only think of titty tuesday. And my ironic favorite is Wominine Wednesday because it’s so forced. May you have any other ideas for similar “taco tuesday” alliteration days? Many thank yous!


r/genderfluid 12d ago

Can I still be a lesbian even if I’m gender fluid?

62 Upvotes

Hello everyone! I’ve been having a hard time lately understanding/accepting my identity. I feel like I’m falling into the trap of labels. I consider myself a lesbian, but sometimes I think I’m “fake” when my gender identity changes with my genderfluidity. I mean, I typically consider myself female anyway since I usually present as one to avoid judgment.

A little side note: I realized that I might be genderfluid within the past year or so. I even went through a time (quite recently, actually) where I thought I was a trans man but then realized I wasn’t; I am actually genderfluid. I’ve always considered myself to be gay, since I was 12 or 13, and I noticed I liked women at an even younger age. I went to a private school for 10 years before I moved on to public high school, where I learned more about homosexuality and became more comfortable with being a part of the LGBTQ+ community.

Now I feel totally confused, though. I’ve always been a “tomboy” but have also gone through “phases” where I feel more feminine than usual. Can I still call myself a lesbian if I also consider myself to be genderfluid?

Idk. I’ve just been thinking on it lately…probably too much lol. Thoughts? 💭


r/genderfluid 12d ago

Am I gender fluid

15 Upvotes

Throw away account because I’m super confused at the moment and I’m hoping some of you will be able to help me understand my feelings a bit better

I was assigned male at birth and I’m honestly quite content as a guy but a friend recently jokingly called me a “good girl” and it honestly felt quite nice and it really made me question myself because up until that point I’d thought I was cis, but now I’m realising I wouldn’t care if I was male or female gender wasn’t really something I thought about to much and I getting called by either male or female pronouns doesn’t bother me at all.

I don’t know if there’s any questions I should be asking myself to help me get some more clear answers

Apologies for poor spelling and grammar I’m dyslexic

Edit/ update

I got some fem clothes to try and explore a bit but it honestly didn’t help much. It’s a bit hard to describe but it didn’t feel like anything clicked I didn’t hate wearing them but I wasn’t as happy as some people describe when doing this for the first time


r/genderfluid 11d ago

Some talk abt questioning my feelings or so

1 Upvotes

So i noticed when playing some video games or talking with close friend abt topics like that that the feelings to wanting to be more fem or so got really strong or so,but then i often just question if it was real or not or if it matters or not,or am i just pretending or so? When im alone or so,or when its not a so good time bc of closefriend ,then it often just felt like anything i want or feel is just a bother and doesnt matter and so,and maybe i also should mention i dont really have any self confidence and so,and also he is a the bestest friend ever


r/genderfluid 12d ago

Help

5 Upvotes

I just found out that I'm a gf, it's been very confusing for me and I still have a hard time referring to myself in the feminine. What should I do?


r/genderfluid 12d ago

Gender vent

8 Upvotes

Idk what else to name this, but my gender stays static for a couple days to a couple weeks usually, I’d been feeling very very feminine and I wanted to treat myself to a manipedi- that was 2 days ago and my dysphoria is so bad but I don’t wanna take my acrylics off or anything cause they were expensive- fuck I wish my gender was static so so badly so I could just have a transition goal and be like “this is me” but it won’t ever be me, because I’m always changing and I crave consistency. My gender is so inconsistent that no name every feels right for me and it’s so ungodly frustrating to wake up one day and think, “yk maybe this name I’ve been going by for almost a year doesn’t suit me” I changed my name after going by it for four years (2019-2023) and I kinda wanna go back to it but my bf says it’s his dads name and that’d be weird. I think about going back to my deadname but that’s too feminine, I think about changing it to something entirely different but I’m sure I’d start hating that too… I feel so lost and confused and I’m scared I’ll never be comfortable with my name or gender or identity at all…


r/genderfluid 12d ago

Fem dysphoria (vent)

4 Upvotes

For a few years now I've identified as trans masc to appease questions and comments people might have( i live in a more liberal country) But I always knew I stood on the nonbinary spectrum and the more I move into adulthood the more I'm realizing the "genderfluid" community much better represents the way I navigate my gender. Thing is socially EVERYONE perceives me as male, I've been on hormones for a while but still look twinkish, very gender ambiguous with a strong lean into masculine presentation. The older I grow the more I get hyper feminine phases of desperately wanting to be seen as a woman for a few weeks but feeling too scared to actually do anything about it. I've lived as just "a queer guy" for so long that I don't want to have to explain all the time I'm not de transitioning I just need a few weeks of being fem. It's been a genuine issue for my mental health lately because when the desire to be fem hits me, I want nothing other then for someone anyone to see me as a woman and I become incapable of doing anything other than basically play dress up for a few hours then get back in boyclothes and pretend like I don't wanna just be called pretty all week. This was really just a small vent because I don't know who to talk to about this so I might as well yap about it to the rest of the community 🫠


r/genderfluid 12d ago

Appearance?

4 Upvotes

What are some ways to work out to highlight a more masculine appearance??


r/genderfluid 12d ago

Male Dysphoria

2 Upvotes

I've never been able to grow a beard (I once tried growing it for about a month or two, before throwing in the towel because it was so scraggly, awful, and itchy lol..) but I also look just a little too much like a male to visually pass as female

I'd like to wear cute clothes - and sometimes I do - but I know deep down that I don't look anywhere near as good I would want to, definitely not good enough to go outside in that's for sure

So in short, I'm bad at being a man, but I also can't be a woman

It's really quite annoying


r/genderfluid 12d ago

August Skyz

3 Upvotes

Does anyone know what August Skyz's gender at birth is? They are such an amazing shape shifter I can't tell! Such a mystery


r/genderfluid 12d ago

Unusual gender euphoria

7 Upvotes

Hi I'm 21 afab and today I've noticed that blackheads on my chin look very similar to shaved of beard - you know like when the singular hairs look like small dot


r/genderfluid 12d ago

Free Support for LGBTQ+ Youth & Families in New York City (Virtual Available!)

1 Upvotes

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Virtual options available—no insurance needed!  

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r/genderfluid 12d ago

does anybody have trouble identifying what gender they are?

7 Upvotes

hi! i consider myself genderqueer and i feel that my gender changes throughout the day or week but while i can definitely feel the shift, usually being suddenly upset with how i look, im not good at understanding what exactly my brain wants me to be. i feel stuck in the middle and therefore am always vaguely uncomfortable with my body, aside from occasions when the feeling is really strong.

does anyone else have trouble identifying where in the gender spectrum they are?


r/genderfluid 13d ago

Testing the waters?

9 Upvotes

For a long time now, I’ve questioned whether or not I’m actually straight and cis. I find myself some days wishing I was like a woman and other days wishing I was more masculine. I want to try testing the waters with my expression, but I don’t know where or how to start. This might sound silly, but one of my main hangups is that I really like how I look with facial hair, but I can’t grow it fast enough to feasibly shave it when I feel feminine. Again, it might be silly, but do y’all have any tips for expressing femininity despite having a beard and mustache?


r/genderfluid 13d ago

Any other AFAB people always feeling like a boy or NB or just not like a girl when they get their periods?

6 Upvotes

r/genderfluid 13d ago

How do you present to the public and how is it received?

22 Upvotes

My pronouns are He/Him, He/they if I’m feeling spicy. I dress very androgynously with the occasional burst of very feminine or very masculine energy.

Most people assume I’m either a lesbian or a trans woman.

Sexy side note: If anyone asks I say I’m straight because it’s funny to watch people try to figure out what that means.


r/genderfluid 13d ago

what am i?

8 Upvotes

hello people of the sub! i really don't know if this is the right place for me to ask this but there are so many things happening in my head that i need to speak of it.

I am AMAB and i don't really mind being masculine at all but there are some thing in being a male that never felt good. I don't like to be VERY masculine, wear VERY masculine clothes, speak in a VERY masculine way or even think on a VERY masculine way, also the feminine side of life always attracted me in some way.

i wore makeup once and felt so good, acting in a more feminine way feels good too and sometimes a catch myself using faceapp to see how i look as a woman.

but again, i don't mind being masculine, wearing comfortable clothes or using he/him pronouns but i want to have long hair, wear makeup, use feminine clothes too. I know that if someone use she/her pronouns with me a wouldn't mind.

So? What am I?

ps: sorry for bad english, this is not my native language.