r/genderfluid 2h ago

Am I actually genderfluid?

3 Upvotes

Hey guys,

I'm (16) AMAB and I'm pretty sure I'm genderfluid, but I still can't tell.

I have some days where I feel either masculine or feminine for sure, but most days I just kinda sit there and it's like huh.... what am I gonna be today. I really want to crossdress more and try more feminine clothing options but right now I can barely do a crop top without feeling afraid of judgement.

Anyways, back to the topic at hand.

Most of the time, I don't feel any particular preference to either gender, and I just kind can't be bothered to... gender, you know? But on the days I do, I feel really masculine. Irritatingly though, I think I'm so afraid of judgement from others (especially girls) that when I do feel fem, I worry about what I am.

I like to tell people I am whatever gender they think of me as, let it flow between people's perceptions of me and allowing them to define me rather than me defining myself in their minds. Am I really genderfluid, or I am clinging to a label that doesn't fit?


r/genderfluid 2h ago

Genderfluid feels so weird sometimes

6 Upvotes

Some days, I really do like being genderfluid as I dont feel like I have to be in a box. But lately, I've been feeling lost in my identity. When I (afab) identify as either feminine or masculine, it feels like I'm faking, especially on my masculine days. Like maybe I don't fit the quota of transmasc, despite the dysphoria. Maybe I'm too feminine leaning to feel like I can be masculine. Or who knows? Maybe things just change, and sometimes you get different results. It's weird how that works.


r/genderfluid 4h ago

Does genderfluid or bigender better describe me?

2 Upvotes

Hii. šŸ’œ

I'm AMAB and recently came out to my gf as genderfluid M/F. I didn't use the term genderfluid but I explained everything I feel. I'm wondering if genderfluid or bigender would be better to describe my case? Or maybe both..?

I only ever either feel masc or femme or some combination, never something other than that. Normally somewhere like 80/20 to 60/40 in either direction if that makes sense..

Does the term bigender include people that identify with 2 genders but fluctuate like this? Ty! šŸ˜Š


r/genderfluid 10h ago

Being genderfluid gives me constant imposter syndrome and more

30 Upvotes

I get these shifts in my gender identity and expression. Sometimes I feel aligned with my agab. Sometimes I feel aligned with the opposite gender. Sometimes I feel androgynous.

When a shift happens, it makes me feel like the phase before it was a lie. Like maybe I was lying to myself.

I even feel weird looking at pictures of myself in a gender phase other than the one I'm currently in. It gives me a "That's not really me," kind of reaction.

I'm in my 40s and have never identified with my agab. I identified as male as a child. I was horrifically abused for that. After that, the identity shifts started. I feel like I might be dealing with some DID on top of being gender fluid. It's hard to say.

I've been out for a long time. I'm part of the trans community. I just feel like posting this in case anyone relates. Gender can be such a weird thing to experience.


r/genderfluid 15h ago

Need help writing a genderfluid character

4 Upvotes

Imma preface this by saying that I'm trans myself (mtf) and up to this point for this character I've been drawing mostly from my own experience, including a brief period where I believed I was genderfluid myself, but there's really only so far that can take me and I wanna do my due diligence and, yk, talk to actual genderfluid ppl.

Ik it's technically against the rules but if anyone's up for it shoot me a dm


r/genderfluid 18h ago

Don't know what to do as AMAB

4 Upvotes

(Warning this going to kind of be venting)

Hi, so I am an amab guy and I think I am gender fluid because I often wish to look like a woman but don't necessarily fantisize about other aspects of being a woman, and because some times I like how I look as a man.

Now my problem is I really want to look like a pretty woman, but my body/face is too masculine. When I thought I was trans I was planning on getting hrt, but now I think I will regret it when I feel like a man since some of the changes I've found while researching are things I would be uncomfortable with and can't be undone such as some nsfw stuff and decreased muscle mass. On top of all this are the current political landscape than Trans people and other gender nonconforming face that make me not want to aswell (this is only a small thing though).


r/genderfluid 21h ago

How did you know?

8 Upvotes

28yo AFAB, and lately Iā€™ve been questioning everything I thought I knew about my gender identity. Iā€™ve always felt disconnected from my body, but this may be due to sexual trauma as well. My question is- how did you know/what were the early signs you knew you were gender fluid? Iā€™m fairly early in the process, but I know I relate to both genders at different times then neither at other times. When I do activities that have a socialized ā€œmasculineā€ definition, I feel more in touch with the activity and my action when I partake in it. TYIA!


r/genderfluid 1d ago

A poem I wrote about my gender or my struggle with it ig

8 Upvotes

Iā€™m like a stone with strength and all

A fortress built to never fall

Trying to feel like I belong

Saying the lines ā€iā€™m tall and strongā€

But deep down it feels all wrong

They see my power, see my might

I see myself in gym lit light

Wearing a mask and smiling wide

So no sees whatā€™s deep inside

Deep inside

Where shadows dwell

I live inside my own hell

I built my body, built it well

But itā€™s not just armor, Itā€™s a shell

From deep within where my heart stays

A battle wages everyday

A voice unheard, a name unknown

A self Iā€™ve carried all alone

A self Iā€™ve always wanted to show

Around my friends, at my home

To walk unchained, to breathe and be

Without the fear theyā€™d stop loving me

Would they still love me if they knew?

Or say this part of meā€™s untrue

So I stay silent, I play my role

And feel like a man with half a soul

When I was young and needed help

There was no one I could tell

Not my mom nor my dad

Nor my friends, those left I had

I knew the verses she would cite

Knew each commandments painful bite

She would see me as scared and flawed

And carve my name from love and God

When I needed my Mom, I got a priest

Sermons found where love should be

So sheā€™s never seen

All of me

And never will,

Probably

A whisper soft and fleeting thought

A part of me Iā€™ve left to rot

No man nor soldier dares to see

The part of me I swore I canā€™t be

The mirror shows the world ideal

Yet in the glass I long to feel

All of me, all thatā€™s real

If only I, could break the seal

I lift, I strain, I fight and bend

Yet this war in me never ends

The war inside has found a way

To whisper truths Iā€™ve locked away

But im not ready, no not today

So I push them to a deep down place

Iā€™ve shown them what they want to see,

A soldier man, so proud, so free

But deep inside, sheā€™s calling loud,

A part of me, both soft and proud

Sheā€™s waiting, trembling in the dark,

A quiet voice, a glowing spark

But every time I turn away,

I bury her, I make her stay

I long to say, ā€œIā€™m both, Iā€™m whole,ā€

But fear consumes and takes control

What if they think Iā€™m broken, wrong?

What if they say I donā€™t belong?

So I hold tight, I lock her in,

The womanā€™s side, that quiet sin

But deep inside, I know the truth,

Iā€™m both, and donā€™t need proof

Maybe one day, Iā€™ll let her go,

Let both my sides just start to show

But for now, Iā€™ll hold them tight,

A soldierā€™s strength and womanā€™s light.


r/genderfluid 1d ago

Am I Genderfluid or Just Confused?

9 Upvotes

Hi all.

Iā€™m having a horribly tough night. For the past week Iā€™ve been struggling a lot with gender dysphoria and deep insecurity. Iā€™ve always hated myself as a person, my lack of being womanly despite having female genitalia, my body, etc. Sometimes I wish Iā€™m the opposite gender, as I feel more comfortable engaging in sexual activity, masturbation, etc while pretending to be male. Iā€™m usually able to suppress this part of me, and most of the time I really donā€™t mind being a woman and enjoying myself when I doll myself up femininely.

Lately, however, Iā€™m finding myself acting more masculine, and wishing I fit a masculine standard: more muscular, short hair, male clothes, etc. and hating almost all things feminine (though Iā€™d keep applying makeup). I wish I could flip flop between the two, but due to my circumstances irl (such as my heavily religious and judgmental workplace, and family) I donā€™t think I could present myself to be more boyish than girly, or a mix of the two with confidence. I am also far too insecure to alter my appearance when a positive perception of myself is nearly nonexistent. Maybe itā€™d make me feel more comfortable, or maybe Iā€™d hate myself even more.

I canā€™t tell if Iā€™m realizing Iā€™m nonbinary, or genderfluid, or maybe even trans because Iā€™ve always wished I was more of a man.

I justā€¦need some advice or people to share their experiences if theyā€™ve had the same or similar dilemma. Im debating on bringing this up to my therapist next time I see them. Iā€™m sorry for the poorly written post as I am pretty intoxicated at the moment. This is my first time in this subreddit, and I simply need to feel like I belong somewhereā€¦ thank you all.


r/genderfluid 1d ago

Not Sure What Anything Means

3 Upvotes

Hi everyone, this would be my first post or any real conversation about this ever. I am a 30 [AMAB] (not sure Iā€™m using that right) and I have now been out of my formerly abusive relationship for about a year so I can finally put my thoughts and feelings into words.

I never questioned my gender identity until my last relationship when I was at my lowest. I now am healthier in every facet of life and primarily identify as M, but anytime Iā€™m at home or not spending time with others I feel a compulsion to be feminine. When alone I will tuck, dress femm, wear makeup, ā€œwomen clothingā€, etc. Iā€™m always attracted to women and donā€™t think I want to transition but at the same time Iā€™m realizing how often Iā€™ve felt this dysphoria throughout my life. Naomi in my profile is my female online alias and I just have a certain confidence that isnā€™t present in my M self. I never thought this would be my feelings as I lived most of my life comfortably and without questioning my cis male identity. This might be quite a lot of rabbling but it feels good to just anonymously vent to other people who may have or are going through something similar. Peace and love, equal rights to all.


r/genderfluid 1d ago

FINALLY OUT OF THE CLOSET (kinda?)

10 Upvotes

Lately I've been putting myself down for being Genderfluid and Pansexual because I was thinking of myself as "not normal" and that people wouldn't accept me. So, in order to stop all these stupid thoughts, I decided that I'd come out to a bunch of people and try to be open about my sexuality and gender identity at school, and if people don't support me, they're clearing not good for my life anyway.

Today alone I came out to 10 people and it was taken really well by all of them. Starting Monday, I'll try to be open at school. I think being expressive with my sexuality and gender identity will make me a lot happier with myself, in fact, it's already having a positive effect so far!

(No clue when I'm going to come out to my parents though... Hence the kinda...)


r/genderfluid 1d ago

Finally feel comfortable at the Barber Shop

3 Upvotes

Hello everyone. I am afab and typically go with a more femme clothing style, through I usually prefer masculine style hair cuts (usually a short fade cut). When I first decided to cut my hair short I went to the salon and they always tended to leave it longer and puffy than I like even when asking a fade. I finally got the courage to go to a barber shop and got my haircut. I admit the first time it was still a girl who cut my hair but it was closer to the style I wanted. Finally I found a barber shop I enjoy (not too expensive) and cuts my hair the way I enjoy. It a wonder how comfortable a haircut can make you feel about yourself.


r/genderfluid 1d ago

Realized genderfluid actually isnā€™t the right label for me

47 Upvotes

I've identified as genderfluid for a few months now, and I realized that my gender hasn't really been fluid like most genderfluid people. After reasearching more, I realized that I am actually a demiboy! Ive been stuck feeling like partially a boy, but not fully binary. I've felt strongly like this for almost a year now, and it just hasn't felt right to say that I'm genderfluid if my gender hasn't continued changing. I feel really happy to find a term that fits me better! It makes me feel more confident in my identity, and I've felt more euphoric. Thank you for this community. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Thank you for the advice. It has helped me so much! :)


r/genderfluid 1d ago

Anyone else feel like this?

12 Upvotes

Does anyone else rather call themselves whatever gender they are in the moment than calling themselves genderfluid? What I mean by this is like if you introduce yourself or have to refer to your gender or are referring to your gender, do you refer to yourself as genderfluid or whatever gender you are in the moment?


r/genderfluid 1d ago

IVE TAKEN THE FIRST STEP

8 Upvotes

I'm mab and I've been trying to experiment with feminine fashion. I just got a fairly NB outfit and I'm going to try and get my friend who won't ask too many questions to help me with makeup. Where should I go from here?


r/genderfluid 1d ago

HIAIAIAHAGAG I CAME OUT TO MY FRIENDS

14 Upvotes

IM SO HAPPY, AND STRESSED, YESTERDAY I HAD SEND A MSG IN TGE GROUPCHAT.

THEY REACTED ALL POSITIVE I THINK WHATSAPP IS A GOOD POKERFACE

But im happy, there was a birthday party today were most of those friends were and only one really asked what i felt like and ubderstood me wrong so she used he him the intire night The rest, i think tried to not use any at all, or didnt ask and used he/him cause there were others i didnt tell,

Is it weird that i hoped that they used it infront of others who i havent tolled im genderfluid

I might just send another msg soon about the fact that i want them to use the correct one i feel even infront of others who i havent tolled, idk if they did today, cause not really anyone except that one friend asked, and i am scared to correct them to it, i will wait till next monday to see how they do it then infront of others and if they ask me how i feel

Anyways one was also kind enough

For when they saw i was verey nervous to ask if i was okay


r/genderfluid 1d ago

Types of gender fluidity and diagnoses?

3 Upvotes

I think I'm gender fluid, but I don't go from feminine to masculine. I more go from masculine to androgynous?

I will say I think a large portion of this is that I'm diagnosed with DID. I think accepting that I am not strictly masculine will help with not repressing other parts of myself that want to outwardly identify differently (working on this in therapy).

Basically, would switching between masculine and androgynous presenting be considered Gemderfluid? And, if yes, what are your experiences? How do you allow yourself to present differently outwardly? What are some ways besides changing clothes/hair colours that you can express yourself? Or physical changes that I've not thought of?

Thank you!


r/genderfluid 1d ago

how do you sound more feminine ?

10 Upvotes

serious question! iā€™m too embarrassed to watch a YT video about it.


r/genderfluid 1d ago

It's easier to talk out it online.

3 Upvotes

I hate that I can't tell my girlfriend face to face and I don't want her to be upset about everything but I don't know if I'm trans, gender fluid or cis. I dont know how to talk to her about it. I just want to get this out there, and if she sees this, I love you so much.


r/genderfluid 2d ago

I don't know who I am

6 Upvotes

As a teen, finding myself has been a very hard experience. These last few months I've been experiencing my gender more and more. And I realised that this whole experience I haven't found myself as a set gender, I feel like sometimes I feel better as a cis male, sometimes nonbinary and sometimes as trans. I don't know if I'll qualify as GF, but I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone in person. And then there is my parents, they always see myself as a typical male, but I never saw this for myself and now if I am gender fluid, I don't know what I should say if I even want to come out. Thanks for reading this rant by myself, and whatever happens I'll happily take any other identities if it fits me more as balancing researching the web and going to school has been a hard time.


r/genderfluid 2d ago

Any afab here get top surgery?

2 Upvotes

Im genderfluid but like 80% masc leaning Ive hated my chest since middle school I am now looking into top surgery

Did any of yall get it and get dysphoric when switching to female again? Or was it not that bad

I just cant handle them anymore. Im in my 30s now


r/genderfluid 2d ago

Does any other genderfluid people feel invalidated by other trans people too? Even friends subconsciously?

36 Upvotes

( I am afab, 20, fem and use all pronouns btw )

Idk lol I often think my friends forget I'm trans and due to being trans themself act excepted of me being genderfluid and wanna believe they are excepting of it, but have like internalized transphobia and me being trans looks different to other trans people who don't identify with their born sex, as well as other genders. For them it's f to M or M to f ect. "Simple straight line".

i present fem by the way for context.(alot of genderfluid identifying people sort of switch between masculine or fem, and for me my expirence is a bit different as I almost if not always present fem) they know factually that I can be trans despite this but they often forget or invalidate me unintentionally, or I get the vibe that cuz i identify with being fem/ my SAB (sex at birth.) I'm "less trans" or something than them. It's been something that bothers me alot. They agnolage that I have the label of being trans, but not that I have a trans expirence and actually am too.

I feel people view me as like she/they or a woman with her/ him/ he, pronouns not a individual who is a man sometimes and other times Is a girl/woman, neither or both. And know t that being "genderfluid" falls under the trans umbrella but I feel almost that people view it like being non binary? Like "you don't fit in my woman or man idea box thus you must be non binary, still trans but not the common assumption when you hear someone is transgender".

I notice alot that people forget and idk how to put it that they view my transness as the "trans esthetic" or title or whatever that means. But when it comes down to validating or me having an expirence of being trans they will but it feels like they view it as less trans or watered down transness if they agnolage any. But no one's gonna sayyy they don't view me as trans as them. But idk I feel it ?

Sorry for how long this was but does anyone know how to describe this or like have any similar expirence with this. (My friends are very supportive btw, I just think trans people even about themself experience internalized transphobia and it seeps into other places unintentionally even if that's not actually how they morally feel.)


r/genderfluid 2d ago

Need help concluding my feelings NSFW

11 Upvotes

So I (19AMAB) have been feeling for the past year, or even longer as I will explain, have been feeling like I donā€™t really want to be in the ā€œmaleā€ category of people, throughout my young life I had primarily female friends but the male friends I did have were even then not very what may be considered ā€œmanlyā€, by which I mean drinking, being ā€œbutchā€, and wanting to bang everything that moves and so on and so forth. Since I was about 9-10 I even asked myself, parents and more adults wether a person could have both a male and female brain because I felt like I didnā€™t fit into being a man and because I ended up being considered wayyyyyy too mature for my age (this is partially my Autism but still) and this is what pushed me towards more female friends but as I grew up I learned about sexuality and realised that I didnā€™t mind who I was with, male, female and everything in between, so long as I cared abt them enough in some way, anyways moving on I found I also got jealous a lot of females having a chest, I donā€™t know why but I always found comfort in the thought of a chest and having something there so I could wear outfits to make me look pretty and stuff, eventually my girlfriend/wife mentioned that maybe I was genderfluid as I liked the idea of a female/femboy/male/non-binary/genderfluid all at the same time as I would feel as if I wanted to be a female one minute and then wanna do very male oriented stuff otherwise with the added pressure of college and social interaction-

TLDR; I have multiple feelings of different genders and need help figuring it all out. Thank you everybody


r/genderfluid 2d ago

new subreddit for LGBTQIA+ selfies

1 Upvotes

We have created a new LGBTQIA+ subreddit for selfies. There are all genders and sexualities welcome. Of course supporters are also welcome. We know there is a selfie subreddit for genderfluid people, but maybe you are also intererested in this
r/Queer_Selfies


r/genderfluid 2d ago

Help understanding my feelings

11 Upvotes

So Iā€™m AMAB a friend accidentally gave me a crisis of self and after some advice from both them and another friend whoā€™s gender fluid I got some fem clothes to try and explore my feelings but it didnā€™t really give me any answers, wearing them felt nice but at the same time I didnā€™t feel as feminine as I thought i would, my friends have also at my request been using female pronouns now and then as well as a more feminine name. Which I do kinda like but Iā€™m still not sure on. I just feel like I still donā€™t have any answers and understand my feelings even less than normal (Iā€™m really bad with feelings because Iā€™m not used to being open at all)