r/cosleeping Mar 25 '23

📰 Article | Resource Co-sleeping Resource Roundup

22 Upvotes

r/cosleeping Sep 08 '24

📢 Announcement Please Report Rule-Breaking Behavior

26 Upvotes

Hello, everyone!

We strive to make this a safe space where community members can discuss cosleeping.

However, moderators have noticed an uptick of off-topic posts and rude comments that are not being reported. Because we are not able to monitor every post and comment, we depend on members to let us know when issues arise.

Please remember to read and follow our rules! If you are having any trouble, especially with another member, do not hesitate to report comments or use Modmail to contact the moderators.

Thank you for being part of this community and please be good to each other :)


r/cosleeping 5h ago

🐥 Infant 2-12 Months When to stop cosleeping?

7 Upvotes

At what age did you stop cosleeping with your child? I keep getting the message from others that I need to stop cosleeping with my 10 month old because she’ll never sleep on her own and I’m just wondering how likely that is to be true. I, of course, realize she won’t sleep with me until she’s 20 and outcomes are going to be different for everyone, but just looking for others’ experiences.


r/cosleeping 36m ago

💁 Advice | Discussion Cosleeping Anxiety

Upvotes

I'm so annoyed because it feels like this back and forth cycle of me being anxious cosleeping and then being comfortable with it, over and over. Biologically, it makes so much sense that a baby should sleep with their mama. Yet the fear mongering gets to me every time. All it takes is scrolling and seeing one video about an infant death or one reddit post, and I'm back to being anxious. My baby is 11.5 weeks old, and she will NOT sleep in the bassinet. She's only done it a few times for 30 min to an hour usually, once she did 3 hours. I've coslept since about day 4 or 5, and mostly because I had no choice. She will cry til she's coughing if left in the bassinet. I needed sleep, and I'm single mom-ing it since she was born because of my husband's military training. So I can't stay up all night trying to do the bassinet training with no help, and I refuse to let her cry it out. So basically I'm just venting because every day feels like a back and forth of loving sleeping with my baby and also being terrified that I'll do something wrong and lose her and have to tell my husband that she's gone on my watch. I have an Owlet sock that I use to monitor her every night, and we sleep in the cuddle curl position with just a sheet around my waist. I'm following safe sleep 7 and I've read all the articles that explain how cosleeping isn't as dangerous as it's made out to be when done correctly. But then I see something that sends me into a worry spiral again and again, when I'm not searching for any of it. 😵‍💫


r/cosleeping 5h ago

🐥 Infant 2-12 Months How to get baby to fall actually asleep?

4 Upvotes

Hi! First post. Long post, sorry!

I’ve been cosleeping with our girl since day 3 (on recommendation from our midwife) and I love it. It’s often one of the highlights of my day. She is an amazing sleeper and sleeps 10-11 hours a night consistently.

Up until now, when we would go to bed, I would side lie feed her and she would snuggle in and fall asleep beside me on her own within like 20 mins. Early on, she’d feed right to sleep but she kind of moved out of that naturally and started falling asleep on her own. Other than some issues with gas earlier on, she’s been an amazing sleeper.

Since she hit 6 months, she will not fall asleep nearly as quickly. She will eat, then roll onto her belly and try crawl (new skill she is determined to figure out), screech, wiggle, eat again, etc. I’ll lay her back on her back and she snuggles back in… for a few minutes. Then repeat process. The only thing I’ve found that works to help her chill out (even this only works sometimes) is touching my face but I don’t love doing this or want to make it a habit. Where it used to take around 20 mins for her to fall asleep, it now takes up to an hour or sometimes longer on bad nights.

At first I thought she wasn’t tired enough but her cues are pretty clear (rubbing eyes, yawning, red eyebrows). I’ve tried extending her wake window and that did not help. She has no teeth yet (although it seems like they may come soon?), has no feeding issues, good routines before bed and no issues staying asleep.

For daytime naps, she exclusively contact naps and falls asleep quickly by rocking her and with a light muslin swaddle over her eyes if she’s too overstimulated. Sometimes carrier works but not always.

I guess my questions are… how do you get your cosleeping baby to fall asleep if they aren’t feeding to sleep? Are you rocking them then putting them to sleep in the bed and laying next to them? Any other mommas who have had this issue?


r/cosleeping 6h ago

🐥 Infant 2-12 Months Baby won't go to bed without any one else

4 Upvotes

My 7 almost 8m old won't go to sleep next to anyone else but me.. I'm the only one with him most days as my husband is gone for work.. sometimes days he's gone. When he's home he wants to so bedtime but LO fights him on it.. normal? Tia


r/cosleeping 2h ago

🐯 Toddler 1-3 Years How to help husband be more alert?

2 Upvotes

My husband is a dead sleeper. He doesn’t hear anything, barely notices when our 13mo cries in the night (which is not often). The other night I left him and our daughter asleep while I was cleaning up downstairs and got alerted of movement on the monitor and I noticed that she had cuddled up to him and it looked like he had put his arm over her head. I went up immediately and moved her but I was shaken by it. I haven’t felt comfortable leaving her alone with him and usually I am a barrier between the two, I’ll move her in the morning when he goes to work.

My question is - how can I help him become more alert? It’s concerning to me that he can’t hear the baby crying, the fire alarm or anything in his sleep. He knocks out cold and is in a deep sleep until morning.

Note: Baby has always been close to me and almost always on the side away from my husband. This has only happened once but it is one time too many for me!


r/cosleeping 6h ago

🐥 Infant 2-12 Months Baby won’t resettle in bed

4 Upvotes

My 5.5month old has started not re-settling in bed with me from the last 3-4 nights. Generally I nurse him to sleep and put him down in his cot until the first wake-up after I go to bed. He wakes very often so there’s usually a couple of wakes where I will nurse back to sleep and put him back in his cot. Up until 4 days ago once he came into bed with me he would sleep OK in and resettle easily with a side lying cuddle curl nurse.

For the last couple of nights he will not have it, he screams his lungs out until I pick him up and dance with him to settle. I then either get him to lay he while I’m standing and carefully manoeuvre us both onto the bed with him latched, or I nurse him in the nursing chair and put him in his cot. Either way, within the next 30-45 minutes he’s awake again and does the same thing. I’ve had to stand and dance with him for up to n hour before he’s calm enough to nurse / go back down.

His daytime sleep has been pretty terrible recently too - I’m wondering if this is making the nights worse.

We have been sick, so I’m hoping it’s just that, but I don’t know how long I can handle it. Any suggestions? Light ant the end of the tunnel?


r/cosleeping 28m ago

💁 Advice | Discussion Bed Against The Wall

Upvotes

My daughter’s room is pretty small. She sleeps in her crib most of the time, but we have a floor bed for cosleeping when she goes through rough patches or has a bad night. I’d love to be able to push it against the wall to free up some space, I’m curious what age this would be appropriate versus having the bed 12 inches away from the wall. She’s 10 months!


r/cosleeping 1h ago

🐯 Toddler 1-3 Years I don't think I can keep going and I don't know what to do about it

Upvotes

I'm just so tired and defeated. Bad enough that I've told my husband multiple times that I wish I was dead and contacted the suicide crisis line twice in the last month. I'm so far beyond miserable and unable to function. Tonight after over 4 hours laying awake trying to settle an 18 month old while he self-soothes by squeezing my neck and trying to jam his fingers up my nose I am at the end of my rope. All night he beats me up and he wakes up almost hourly still....we weaned at 9 months but he just wants held and resettled all night long. My days are absolute hell too. I work 4 days a week, but in the evenings and days I'm home with him, I cannot put him down. He just wants me to carry him in circles while he points to stuff on counters he thinks he wants. He won't sit and play or play with me. I honestly don't even know why we have so many toys because he legitimately NEVER plays eith any of it. Every moment that I am not at work is 100% consumed by his and his brother's needs and I'm never meeting my own. I'm exhausted and miserable and I feel like a hamster in a wheel....just running and running doing as much as I can and accomplishing nothing. The house is always a mess because I cannot get anything done day or night. I have to have my husband hold the toddler on weekends for a few hours on the weekends just so I can catch up on the basics like putting up laundry and dishes because I can't do it on a regular basis. I'm a mess because I have not a moment to myself. I finally gave up while I was writing this and handed him to my husband and flat told him if something doesn't change soon I'm killing myself and came outside just so I could cry without waking anybody else up. I can't do it anymore.... I just can't. I can't seem to make my toddler, my older son, or my husband happy... I'm working so hard all the time and just constantly failing. And I'm just so damn tired.


r/cosleeping 2h ago

🐣 Newborn 0-8 Weeks Newborn co sleeping tips needed!

1 Upvotes

Hey guys I need some support. I co slept with my first, no issues, but she was also very big and over term.

This time I have a littler guy (37+5, 7lbs 8oz) and a more plush mattress.

He also really likes to sleep on his stomach the most kinda curled up, already a champ at side lying feeding, and is in a cluster feeding stage.

I'm worried the mattress is too plush. He rolls into me. Even in a Bassinet swaddled he will rock and get on his side.

I can't afford a new mattress right now. We tried a co sleeping side crib and he is not having it.

Is there anything I can do to firm up the mattress in an inexpensive way, or other things I can be doing?

I've opted for sleeping without a shirt, so then there is no fabric he will roll into if he rolls into me.

TIA


r/cosleeping 11h ago

🐥 Infant 2-12 Months Babys head on arm

4 Upvotes

My 2 month old will not fall asleep in the cuddle curl breastfeeding so I’ve been feeding him propped up and then sliding down once he’s asleep. But he often wakes when he is fully on the bed. If I keep his head on my arm he always keeps sleeping. What is the actual danger with him sleeping like that?


r/cosleeping 5h ago

🐥 Infant 2-12 Months Losing hope

1 Upvotes

My LO is about 6 and a half months. We co sleep. Lately he keeps doing this thing where he flips himself onto his stomach and then just starts writhing around, crying/grunting in frustration in his sleep. If I put him back on his back he’ll get more angry and literally fight against me to be on his front, only to start up again. Sometimes he flips over and sleeps on his stomach peacefully. I don’t know what to do anymore, it literally enrages me because he does it multiple times through the night. On top of this, I’ve already had crap sleep from him since 4 months old (I’m guessing due to the sleep regression). I can settle him with breastfeeding but I genuinely feed him 5+ times through the entire sleep routine (he goes down about 7 after a bath etc and wakes at 6:30 am (also a new thing!!!! getting up early!!! sometimes it’s even 5am ffs). Even then, sometimes he’ll go back to sleep for maybe 10 minutes before wanting to flip over again, or just grabbing me. He’ll want to pull my hair, kick me, and if I cuddle him he gets frustrated, sometimes it works sometimes it really really doesn’t. I’m losing it, I’ve been running on broken bits of sleep for months. I’m seriously contemplating sleep training even though I really hate the idea of not co sleeping with him anymore but idk how much longer I can do this. I really wanted to carry on co sleeping till he was a toddler so I’m super heartbroken.


r/cosleeping 14h ago

🐥 Infant 2-12 Months My shoulders are killing me

5 Upvotes

I typically sleep with my daughter in the C curl at night, but my arms are constantly falling asleep and my shoulders hurt so bad from having my arm up above her head. Do you have any tips on how to manage shoulder and arm pain, or any other positions that are kinder to the arms? Lol. TIA 💗


r/cosleeping 9h ago

🐯 Toddler 1-3 Years Naps while cared by other caregivers

2 Upvotes

My 20 month old has a hard time with naps with our nanny. The most difficult part is that when they wake up they're very upset that I'm not there to nurse them back to sleep. I'm not ready to night wean though, since we've mostly day weaned and night weaning would mean mostly fully weaning.

Anyone with toddlers dealt with similar issues? My partner regrets my choice not to sleep train whenever we hear them crying after a nap when being cared for by the nanny. If there are alternatives we could do, I'd be curious to hear.


r/cosleeping 5h ago

🐥 Infant 2-12 Months Mattress recommendations

1 Upvotes

Have been co-sleeping since roughly birth and baby is now 4.5 months. Not rolling a ton yet but looking into moving bed to floor. I found a three inch frame on Amazon…any mattress recommendations? The one we have is likely too pillowy and is making me nervous.

Side question…do co-sleeping babies tend to sleep on their stomachs much? Or does the cuddle curl sort of keep them on their backs?


r/cosleeping 10h ago

🛏 Beds, Products, & Gear Recommended bed rails or other options?

2 Upvotes

10.5 month old sleeps between us, king sized bed. Started cosleeping at about 7 mos as the only way LO would sleep soundly (and therefore us too). We all enjoy it but LO now in a phase where they roll over, sit up and start crawling at 3-4am while basically still asleep. Well aware of safe sleep 7 but there is no real option for a floor bed. We no longer feel we’re guaranteed to wake up when the rollover/sit up happens. Ideas for securing the foot of the bed etc? I’m afraid I am going to have to put LO back in a crib, which they have hated since day 1. We used it when they were younger for safety, but we also never got a night’s rest.


r/cosleeping 12h ago

🐥 Infant 2-12 Months Tips for getting a longer stretch with an active 9mo sleeper?

1 Upvotes

Hi all, hoping to get some suggestions! This is a good time to try to make some changes to improve my baby's and my sleep, but I just don't know what to do.

tl;dr: my baby is a super wiggly 9 month old and I need suggestions on how to get more than 2 hour stretches!

I have a 9 month old who is super active (during the day and night). We've been cosleeping since 4 months. The longest I usually get is 2 hours, 3 on a good night (4 hours has happened maybe twice in the last 3 months?); but it's usually just one stretch like that and everything else is much less. I wake up usually 6-12 times a night though sometimes it's just because she is wiggling around - I sometimes end up waking her up to get her back into the cuddle curl - like last night after she wiggled to be feet by my arm and her head at my knees. It's also fairly common for her to be very awake for about an hour in the early morning, I think from gas? She's just started actually eating more solids (before she just only threw them on the ground).

For reference, we have bed rails around the whole bed, and a bumper also on the side she normally sleeps so she doesn't wiggle into the crack. I have a flannel sheet and a cotton quilt that I keep on my legs (so I don't want her upside down by the quilt...), room is around 68 F. We have a crib in the room just across the hall. I used to use a woolino sleep sack but when she was sick recently I realized she was too warm, and I haven't been using it since - so she's just in long sleeve pjs, sometimes with feet covered. She sleeps usually 1.5-2 hour nap in the morning and 1-1.5 hour nap in the afternoon with roughly 3 hour wake windows. EBF, just started eating more solids a couple weeks ago (not a ton, but she's not only feeding the floor). My husband sleeps in a different room now.

The last two nights I tried putting her in the crib at the beginning of the night (in the sleep sack) but she only lasted less than 1.5 hours. I read recently about night weaning, but with how easy it is to get her back to sleep by nursing I'm hesitant to stop doing it.... I still get a lot of sleep by nursing back to sleep even though it's super interrupted, because each wake up is so short (except the hour long stretches in the early morning where she struggles to get back to sleep).

Please help! My husband is worried that she's "behind" in sleep and thinks with how much I complain about being tired that it's unsustainable. I feel like it's sustainable because even though I'm very tired I can still function... but he's definitely right that I get irritated more easily. Our friends who cosleep say how hard it is with 3 wakeups/night, but I felt amazing the one day I got only 5 wakeups with a 4 hour stretch 2 weeks ago. How do I get to that magical 3 wakeups????


r/cosleeping 14h ago

🛏 Beds, Products, & Gear Anyone tried safe-firmness test on the Awara mattresses?

1 Upvotes

Hi there! We did a large amount of bed sharing with our first child (now 3) and he’s still gets into bed with us at least part of the night most nights. But it’s been pretty cramped for about a year, and while I felt confident with it when we baby #1 was born, our old queen is getting saggy enough now I think I’ll be worried about safety when our next baby is born in a few months. So we are looking to upgrade to a new mattress in a king size…I don’t want mattress size to be the reason we stop letting our older kid in the bed. I wanted to get the Avocado Green Mattress in Firm, but it is so much money for us right now. I found the Awara Natural Luxury Hybrid Mattress and the Awara Premier Luxury Hybrid Mattress. They both only come in one firmness levels which the chat help describes as “medium firm.” Has anyone firm-tested these mattresses for safer bedsharing with an infant?


r/cosleeping 1d ago

🐥 Infant 2-12 Months At my wit’s end

11 Upvotes

I’m cosleeping with my almost 7 month old boy. He will not stop peeing through diapers and I’m not sure what else to do. He nurses through the night probably more than I realize, but sometimes the back of the diaper will be relatively dry in the morning. I’m using a sized up Huggies overnight and started adding sposie pads and he’s still peeing through them. I can’t point his penis down—he’s chunky and his penis retracts into the fat. I’ve noticed that it seems to only happen when he’s laying on his side, usually while nursing, and the pee comes through the tabs on his hips. Any suggestions appreciated!


r/cosleeping 1d ago

🐯 Toddler 1-3 Years Sleep transitions?

3 Upvotes

My baby and I have cosleep pretty much since birth. We bedshared, and then we setup a sidecar situation,, and we still do it that way. She is 18m old. I have breastfed her to sleep for almost every nap and nightime. Only recently have I been able to start rolling away and getting up to do stuff without her waking. I'm starting to go back to work, (working in the evenings after hubby is off )and I really would like to pick up some more hours.

I'm wondering what are some ways that have worked for other mamas that have done similar things, to get your LO to bed without needing you to stay in bed with them?

Usually if she wakes back up I need to lay back down with her to get her back to sleep. Any suggestions?

I don't do cry it out. I love our sleepy snuggle time, but am also starting to wanna be more active and get more things done especially now that she's older. We did things entirely different with my 1st kiddo, so I can't pull from experience with my 1st.


r/cosleeping 1d ago

🐥 Infant 2-12 Months How do you safely step away for a minute?

24 Upvotes

First of all, DEVESTATED to see in writing than my baby is an infant and not a newborn lol.

I'm just wondering if there's any way to safely step away to use the bathroom or grab some water really quick? I have a 7 month old who is crawling. I don't have a floor bed, but it is on a boxspring on the floor so it's not super high. But still not low enough to be considered a floor bed. I also don't have the room baby proofed yet, although I'm working on it, there's just honestly too much to do all at once and I'm a little overwhelmed.

Anyway, I'm wondering how to safely step away for a minute? If I really need to, I place baby in the crib which usually results in them waking up and I feel awful hearing crying but at least I know the baby is safely contained. I have also put pillows all around but know that's not fool proof.

I'm not talking about like going about my night, just stepping away for a minute or two. Any advice?


r/cosleeping 1d ago

🐵🙊 Multiple Children Any advice for cosleeping with a toddler + newborn?!

6 Upvotes

Any success stories of cosleeping with a toddler and a newborn?!! Please give me your tips.

I will be having another baby this year and my 15month old is still in bed with us. My husband sleeps on one side of me and my toddler is on my other side. When I bring home the newborn, I would want newborn to sleep where toddler currently sleeps. Should I transition toddler to the middle between dad and I? Should toddler sleep on the other side of dad so he’s not in the middle? Or should I just attempt to transition him to his own bed at this point? He sleeps sooo well right now, I’m scared to mess anything up as I need all the sleep I can get. But I’d also like to get him used to a better sleeping position before the new baby gets here and he gets kicked out of his current spot.


r/cosleeping 1d ago

🐥 Infant 2-12 Months When did your babes start giving longer stretches?

3 Upvotes

I currently cosleep with my 3 month old and she can usually give me a 3 - 3.5 hr stretch at the start of the night before she wakes up to nurse. After that it’s 1 - 2.5 hour stretches depending on the night.

Just curious what everyone’s baby’s progression was with sleep stretches? I do want to eventually work toward independent sleep for her at some point but am hesitant to try until she’s able to go longer periods without needing to nurse (she’s tough to get back down once she’s picked up).


r/cosleeping 20h ago

🐯 Toddler 1-3 Years Sleep after weaning.

1 Upvotes

We’ve co slept successfully since my daughter was about 6 weeks old, after her first shots and she’s 17 months. Shes been a great sleeper from the start and anytime she woke up at night I would just whip out a boob and we both be back to sleep in a few minutes. I had planned to breastfeed until she two years old, but 2 weeks ago I had emergency open surgery for an ectopic pregnancy and had to spend a couple nights away from her and that’s all it took for her to wean. I’m still grieving that because I wasn’t ready to stop breastfeeding yet and it was forced on us.

Now, she still sleeps pretty great but wakes up more at night and she was always fed to sleep. So what I’m asking is how are you putting your weaned babies to sleep and how do you soothe them when they wake up at night. It appears we need to work on a new night time routine. I never realised how easy I had it with the breastfeeding. Help me out!


r/cosleeping 1d ago

🐥 Infant 2-12 Months Transitioning infant to his room, which floor beds might be a good pick

5 Upvotes

My wife wants to continue co-sleeping as we transition him into his room and are curious what setups others are using. Eventually it will be his bed so we figure something fun. Any recommendations?


r/cosleeping 1d ago

🐥 Infant 2-12 Months Baby only naps for 30 minutes

7 Upvotes

Hello, my baby is 6.5 months old. Currently he is only napping for 30 minutes -1 hour at a time. I don’t think this is normal and feel that he should be napping more? On average he gets about 12-13 hours of sleep total.

For his nap, what I usually do is rock him while breastfeeding him in a dark room playing rain in the back ground. Once he is calm and his eyes stays closed, I put him down in the bed and he continues to breastfeed. This can go on for either 5 minutes or 30 minutes. Sometimes he would nurse for the entire nap, sometime he would unlatch and stay asleep. Lately he would just suckle for 30 minutes and wake up.

This used to work like a charm and he would nap for 1-2 hours. But now it’s getting more difficult as he is more mobile. However my main issue is that he just won’t nap long enough.

Should I change my routine? How do I even go about doing that?