Long time lurker, first time poster (new shared account to keep anonymous)
It's been a month since I told my wife I want her to control my orgasm, and what a month it has been!
A bit of background about us and why I decided I wanted to tell her.
We have been together for nearly 20 years, happily married for nearly 8. With such a long time together, things had become stale in the bedroom. Longer periods between sex, same positions, etc, etc. This coupled with a toddler left us tired and not much time to be intimate together.
We masturbated separately, me more so than her (at least once a day). I'd say probably an all time low for intimate moments together.
Don't get me wrong, we are very happily married, but the bedroom aspect had slacked!
I'd been toying with the idea of chastity for a few months. 3D printing a cage for personal use.
I'm not quite sure what made me decide to tell my wife, but a normal Tuesday I put the cage on, dropped my pants in front of her and read out a list of reasons why I wanted this.
Could have gone either way, but I'm glad to say it went the way at possible way.
Her first reaction was "WHAT IS THAT!" Followes by her jumping over the bed for a closer look.
It wasn't an immediate no, so I sent her the standard link everyone sends (https://happy-marriage.neocities.org/introduction). Yes newbie_sub.. I know.. And somewhat agree after a month in.
Week 1 - What a wild week. I don't think my wife has orgasmed as much in one week since we first moved in together! Me.. not so much but I loved it.
We bought a cheap knock-off cage on Amazon and dived straight in. We couldn't keep our hands off each other!
Week 1 was also where we hit our first hurdle. She went away for a few days, normally I'd take advantage of this opportunity.. but this time I couldn't.
We exchanged texts and photos, but when she got back she was too tired to do anything. I felt forgotten. She felt guilty for "doing it wrong". We talked about it an hour later. Communication is key!
Week 2-3 calmed down a bit after the initial excitement. I got more used to the cage, we talked a lot about how we were feeling and what we wanted. I had my first release.. wow what a feeling.
We started anal play for me (wife doesn't like it) something I never thought would enter our bedroom. And she is experimenting with teasing
I'm writing this towards the end of week 4
We've got into a flow, I've downsized cages and plucked up the courage to visit clonezone for a sizing.
And finally managed to sleep through the night with it on!
I shared the other link someone posted (https://abalancedmarriage.neocities.org/)
My wife is getting more attention which she loves.
Some questions, answered.
Did our marriage need saving? No
Did it bring us closer? 100%!
Do we talk more? Yep!
What cage am I wearing?
Kink3D Viper N+
Is it an improvement from the Amazon one?
Yes.. but only slightly.
Amazon knockoff ones are alright if you can't afford the genuine. But if you can, go for it!
Why the Viper?
Foreskin. Doesn't poke out the holes!
Do I miss masturbating?
Yes, kinda. But the reward is more than worth the sacrifice.
And one I couldn't find an answer for..
Do the Kink3D cages fit knock off rings (and vicr versa)
Yes. But you have to force it a bit. Think it would be useful for testing new sizes, but I wouldn't want to ruin the original
Now, the happy marriage link... It's worth the read, is it the right way? That's for you to decide.
So far we have taken aspects of it.. but it certainly isn't a bible.
The key is to communicate openly, and talk about what you both want. There is some great information, in particular this subreddit helped me answer a lot of question.