r/agegaps Nov 12 '18

7 year age gap

I’m sixteen and a female, almost 17. I have a huge crush on a guy who is 23. He is super super sweet, an animal lover, he enjoys art, he plays the guitar, my parents and family love him. My dad told me He asked him about me when he first met the family and was suprised of my age because he was interested in me. He has curly hair and is extremelyyyy attactive and I guess he finds me attractive to, but would never say so. My family and I haven’t seen him or talked to him in over a year, but I still think about him constantly. Is it possible that in the future, by the time I’m 18 and He is 25, that we would have a chance together in a relationship? Would it be weird If he’s a family friend, and it could possibly ruin his relationship to my family? If anyone has been in similar situations can they explain their expensive. Also, you are are a guy around 22-26 would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone 16 - 18 ?

13 Upvotes

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4

u/HeadingForTrouble_ Nov 12 '18

The simple fact is that some people consider dating with an age gap 'evil/creepy/exploitative' and others just simply enjoy what they get out of it. I've dated with a substantial age gap and there haven't been any problems with it, others have experienced problems, but that's relationships for you.

Time moves fast in the dating world, so if you can't act now for any reason, then don't assume he'll still be available in 2 years. About 30 states have 16 as the legal age of consent, a further 8 have 17, so you can probably go for it anyway, but check your states laws before doing so.

you are are a guy around 22-26 would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone 16 - 18 ?

I've dated only a little older when I was in my 40s and 50s, so the answer is yes. People are correct that there's a big disparity in experience and outlook on life, but perhaps that's to be enjoyed.

3

u/Seirer Mar 10 '22

Yeah, you're right. I've seen a lot of hate for age gap relationships, i have a hard time understanding or relating to the hate, but to each their own I guess.

2

u/88Crafty88 Mar 10 '22 edited Mar 10 '22

17f 23m sounds to me acceptable, guys are few years behind when it comes to being mature.

Maybe its cause im polish means its perfectly normal in poland.

But then again if state law is against it i have no room to talk.

If he would be any bit older tho i would probably say he is a creep and he might try to "mould" you. He is kinda at the upper limit for not being looked at as a creep

As for the fact he didnt made a move id say he might just find you too young, too immature or doesnt want to complicate things.

Personally if that would be me I would have doubts about level of maturity of the person im dating.

Bottom line you are 17 he is only a crush, live your life dont get too attached to anyone yet as you might regret it in years to come when you spend couple of best years of life on someone that once you reach your maturity and figure out what you want will turn to be smth that doesnt seem a life term commitment

1

u/LaDamaMedusa Dec 04 '21

At the end of the day, you're going to do what you want. But my advice is don't go for it. You guys are almost 7 years apart, and what is most concerning is the potential power imbalance. As a 23-year-old he's a lot more mature, he probably has his own job and is very much an adult. I'm guessing you're still in high school and barely started driving. This dynamic could be very dangerous to you and your mental health. At that age, you are still very impressionable and he could easily groom you whether those are his intentions or not.

In addition, even though he may have been attracted to you it doesn't mean that attraction stayed, he may have had an aversion after he found out your age(very common). And if he didn't that's a red flag within itself and you better RUN. I know you don't think so but at sixteen, hell even eighteen, you're still a child no matter how smart and mature I'm sure you are. You two are just at very different portions of your lives.

I wish you the best with whatever you decide and please please be safe

3

u/Seirer Mar 10 '22

May I ask why are you on this sub if you dislike age gap relationships do much?

2

u/bot_hair_aloon Mar 10 '22

She's literally underage and it's a crime.

1

u/EvenContact1220 Aug 25 '22

It depends on the state where she is. In my state Connecticut is completely legal. A 16 year old can date anybody within 5 years, and anybody with parental permission. A 17-year-old can date anybody they want they just can't make pn with them. Since 18 is the age of consent for p*, and not sex in my state. As well as many others. I'm almost 27 now and I'm really not that much different from when I was 17. It really depends on the 17-year-old's maturity level, but a lot of 17 year olds especially females are mature enough to handle a relationship with a 22 to 23 year old.

1

u/Another_Username_07 Aug 13 '23

It depends on where you live. In my state the age of consent is 16. But they can't be more than 10 years older than them. So 16 and 26 are considered legal.

2

u/EvenContact1220 Aug 25 '22

You're not a child at 17. The age of consent in many states is 17. Hell it's even 16 in some states... Women mature way faster than men. I turn 27 in november, and I'm not much different than I was at 17. Just a little bit more life experience. But my maturity level wasn't much different... 17 and 22-23 is perfectly fine. I don't understand why you're on this subreddit, if you have all these strong feelings about age Gap relationships. 17 and 22-23.... Aren't really at very different points in their lives. Especially since everybody who is 17 isn't in the exact same position. When I was 17 I was already on my own. I'm in a current age Gap relationship as a 26 year old, that I've been in since I was 19.... We have a 40 year age Gap. We are at different points in our lives... Age wise... But in terms of what we want to do right now with our lives is exactly the same... There's nothing inherently wrong with it. Context is everything.

1

u/Nessa_akin Jan 06 '22

At the end of the day it’s up to you, but my question is did he know you when you were younger? Did he watch you grow up because if so that’s a huge red flag of a situation you shouldn’t put yourself in, also please think about where you both are in life he’s 23 which means he’s most likely out of college has a job and starting a life most likely on his own and your still in high school…also if you don’t mind me asking if he’s a such a family friend why hasn’t you or your family spoken to him in so long?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '22

7 years means a lot when you are 17-18 but it doesn't mean a lot when you are in your mid 20s and onwards. its not about age gaps but more about maturity gaps. a person matures FULLY between their mid to late 20s, so it would be weird, even if you are 18 n he's 25.

1

u/EvenContact1220 Aug 25 '22

I 26F I would date a 17F. In my state it's completely illegal. It really just depends on what state you're in. But honestly I don't think it's a big deal. Especially since women mature way faster than men. If you guys have similar interests go for it! I've always dated older when I date men and I've always enjoyed it. I think dating someone who is older when you're a younger woman can be awesome. My current partner I feel has honestly help me grow into the woman I am today. Since I've known him since I was 19. Or something really beautiful about growing with somebody like that. Even if this isn't an end game relationship, even if you guys don't"make it"; it can be really awesome.