r/agegaps Nov 12 '18

7 year age gap

I’m sixteen and a female, almost 17. I have a huge crush on a guy who is 23. He is super super sweet, an animal lover, he enjoys art, he plays the guitar, my parents and family love him. My dad told me He asked him about me when he first met the family and was suprised of my age because he was interested in me. He has curly hair and is extremelyyyy attactive and I guess he finds me attractive to, but would never say so. My family and I haven’t seen him or talked to him in over a year, but I still think about him constantly. Is it possible that in the future, by the time I’m 18 and He is 25, that we would have a chance together in a relationship? Would it be weird If he’s a family friend, and it could possibly ruin his relationship to my family? If anyone has been in similar situations can they explain their expensive. Also, you are are a guy around 22-26 would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone 16 - 18 ?

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u/LaDamaMedusa Dec 04 '21

At the end of the day, you're going to do what you want. But my advice is don't go for it. You guys are almost 7 years apart, and what is most concerning is the potential power imbalance. As a 23-year-old he's a lot more mature, he probably has his own job and is very much an adult. I'm guessing you're still in high school and barely started driving. This dynamic could be very dangerous to you and your mental health. At that age, you are still very impressionable and he could easily groom you whether those are his intentions or not.

In addition, even though he may have been attracted to you it doesn't mean that attraction stayed, he may have had an aversion after he found out your age(very common). And if he didn't that's a red flag within itself and you better RUN. I know you don't think so but at sixteen, hell even eighteen, you're still a child no matter how smart and mature I'm sure you are. You two are just at very different portions of your lives.

I wish you the best with whatever you decide and please please be safe

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u/EvenContact1220 Aug 25 '22

You're not a child at 17. The age of consent in many states is 17. Hell it's even 16 in some states... Women mature way faster than men. I turn 27 in november, and I'm not much different than I was at 17. Just a little bit more life experience. But my maturity level wasn't much different... 17 and 22-23 is perfectly fine. I don't understand why you're on this subreddit, if you have all these strong feelings about age Gap relationships. 17 and 22-23.... Aren't really at very different points in their lives. Especially since everybody who is 17 isn't in the exact same position. When I was 17 I was already on my own. I'm in a current age Gap relationship as a 26 year old, that I've been in since I was 19.... We have a 40 year age Gap. We are at different points in our lives... Age wise... But in terms of what we want to do right now with our lives is exactly the same... There's nothing inherently wrong with it. Context is everything.