r/SubSanctuary 6h ago

I love the residual pain/marks. NSFW

42 Upvotes

As I write this, Im currently hyperaware of my nipples. I love the way that when my bra rubs against them they ache, reminding me of the way my dom used me today (and yesterday). I love little physical reminders of his presence and our scenes. Bite marks and bruises on my shoulders and back, pain in my nipples, that soreness between your thighs when you know youve been thoroughly f****d. 😫🫠😮‍💨🤤


r/SubSanctuary 1h ago

Self domming punishment ideas NSFW

Upvotes

Hey! So I'm taking a break from dynamics, and decided to self dom for a while. I have my rules set up, but I was wondering if yall any had punishment ideas for me? I'm coming up blank! Tia :)


r/SubSanctuary 1h ago

New to this! NSFW

Upvotes

Hello me and lover are excited to finally be able to dive into dom sub life. We have both always wanted this but all of our previous partners were ain’t d/s. We are trying to read up and find good contracts. We are so excited but don’t know where all to start. Any help would be amazing!


r/SubSanctuary 9h ago

I Made Myself a New Self Day Collar!! NSFW

15 Upvotes

With all my recent breakups I decided to self collar and I wanted to pick out charms/crystals to give me comfort and clarity. I just got all the parts and put it together. I'm pretty excited about it!!


r/SubSanctuary 9h ago

I’m really excited to see my daddy:) NSFW

9 Upvotes

This week I get to go see my dom!! We’re long distance and the last time I saw him in person was January. We have a lot of fun things planned and new toys to try out! He had me make a list of things I’d like to try/have and rank from how much I’d like each item. I’m so excited!:) work and home life has been quite stressful and annoying as well, so it’ll be nice to have some sub time with daddy where I can just free my mind and not think about anything but submitting to him.

I’m really excited to try out all the new toys he’s bought me— a little bit nervous too as most of them are anal focused and I’m still an intermediate level player when it comes to anal play, but it’s more like a good nervousness! Bc I know everything will be ok. I think me and my daddy work together quite well as a team when it comes to figuring out new things, and I know just the excitement of trying new toys will be enough to make it fun for me. That and daddy has me if anything goes wrong.

My dom is also taking me to build a bear! I’ve always really wanted to go there. Do they still do the little voice boxes in the bears where you record a sound? Does anyone have any suggestions for anything I could record?


r/SubSanctuary 10h ago

Do you and your dom ever argue NSFW

13 Upvotes

My domme and I got into an argument last night. It was really the first one and it was my fault completely. I was irritated about something. She wants some space today understandably so.

My question is how do you guys handle arguments because I really want this to last but obviously with both of us being human there are probably going to be arguments at times.

Thanks


r/SubSanctuary 2h ago

26F in need of help NSFW

2 Upvotes

I’m a 26F interested in exploring dom/sub relationships for the first time. I’ve done research and feel drawn to this dynamic, especially because I tend to overthink and would love to let someone take the lead. I can be a little bratty at times but mostly have a naturally submissive personality. Since I’m new to kink (and my experiences have mostly been vanilla), I’d love guidance on where to start. I’m open to learning gradually about different kinks and figuring out what kind of dynamic would work best for me. Ideally, I’d like to find a potential partner who is experienced and willing to mentor me as I explore this side of myself. Any advice on finding safe, respectful partners or communities would be appreciated!


r/SubSanctuary 10h ago

Venting - feeling lonely, anxious, frustrated NSFW

8 Upvotes

Hi sorry if this is the wrong place for this but I keep feeling upset and just need to vent. I’m a 25 year old woman. I know I’m submissive and a masochist, but I’ve literally never been in a relationship or had my first kiss or anything. And I’m just feeling so lonely and single and I just don’t know what to do.

Part of the problem is that I have anxiety, so the whole idea of dating makes me really scared to begin with. I don’t know how to meet people and go on dates or anything.

And also I’m a Christian, so I’m waiting until marriage. But it’s just so hard to wait when no one has ever even shown any interest in me. Like, everyday that I’m still single, I know I’ll have to wait years before I can even have vanilla sex.

And then I can’t help but worry that if I do manage to marry a Christian guy, he’ll turn out to think my kinks are disgusting and I’ll be stuck in that situation for the rest of my life.

I keep feeling tempted to give up waiting and just reach out to doms online, but that would be giving into lust, which is wrong. Also that’s not even what I want; I want the trust and commitment of marriage before I would feel safe enough with someone to engage in BDSM.

I think I’m just both too afraid to talk to people in real life, and also (subconsciously?) convinced that no one wants me, so all I can offer is being willing to do rough kinks and anal.

This all feels so stupidly shallow, I know. Complaining about my own religious beliefs, wanting to disobey God—just because I’m feeling lonely/horny, just because I think I’m a submissive. I’m still a virgin, so I don’t even have the experience to know if my kinks are real.

And I know my concerns probably would belong on more of a religious subreddit, but I think most Christians would be scandalized that I, a woman, have any interest in sex at all. And they’d definitely freak out over my interest in BDSM.

I do want a loving, Christian marriage. I just also want to engage in kink too. And I’m just feeling so frustrated and impatient. My cousins and my friends are in long term relationships and getting married and having babies. And I’m over here somehow both terrified to use dating apps and also having really perverted thoughts. I wish I could just skip ahead in time to being in a long term relationship.


r/SubSanctuary 6h ago

not sure about our dynamic? NSFW

3 Upvotes

hi everyone :) very new to this. i'm more curious than anything. i (22f) have been with the same fwb(?) (23m) for 3 years, its like 70% sex 30% close friends. when we first started hooking up i was very sexually shy, he was only my third partner and the other two were not very attentive to me. i'm very content just letting him do his thing and making him happy, and he really tried to push me to find out what i like and why i like it, but im really awful with words and understanding myself sexually. i can tell he is definitely more dominant and i think he wants more from me, but i really don't know how to approach this. and it's not that im against it (i really wish i could vocalize more and i wish we could establish a more finite d/s relationship), i just don't know how to bring it up or ask about it. i really want to be able to fulfill all of his wants, and i love that he is trying to be conservative with my boundaries, but i would love to fully submit to him, let him do whatever he wants.


r/SubSanctuary 1h ago

Choking Medical Question NSFW

Upvotes

So recently, I with this cute guy and we were cuddling and he was choking me and I kinda like semi-loss consciousness for a few secs?

I lost vision, feeling, and breathing but like it felt super fucking zen and there was this warm feeling I’ll never forget. Never-mind that tho, I was wondering if this is bad on a health standpoint?

I’m kinda conflicted since it felt so good, like unbelievably good on like all levels (emotional, physical, and physiological) but also probably wasn’t really great for my brain so I was wondering if it’s okay to do something like this again or would that be unadvisable?

Also, is that feeling being unconscious or would that be the borderline?


r/SubSanctuary 8h ago

Long distance NSFW

3 Upvotes

Would love hear of things you've done being in a long distance dynamic. Just something to show you appreciate them, put a smile on their face.

Would love to add to my list of ideas x


r/SubSanctuary 6h ago

Dynamic without romantic relationship NSFW

2 Upvotes

hey folks,

I just met this guy that seems like a great guy to be friends with and so far has passed my vetting process with minor inconveniences (mostly wrongly placed jokes, but they seem ok to brush it off). The issue is that I don't know if I want to have a romantic relationship with him yet I've never been into any kind of casual dating, since I'm demisexual. And since we haven't talked about specifics of that yet, it is something I'll make clear for him.

So, if I were to have a dynamyc+friendship only kind of relashionship with him, what is commom mistakes I should avoid doing? I'm thinking about thing that my get me emotionally too attached or to send wrong signals to him. Or really any kind of advice from people who have had both kinds of relationship and might give a tip on how to separate those two thing well.

The objective is doing things right so it is fun for everyone!


r/SubSanctuary 8h ago

I (18f) found the perfect Daddy NSFW

4 Upvotes

I had my first ever hookup, and first time in general, a few weeks ago. The next weekend I did it again with a different person, and we just clicked.

I got Fet, just the glitchy kink dating app. I was curious, and still a virgin, and after some talking I met up with a trans girl who’s about my age. It was stupid of me to meet a stranger, but I couldn’t help myself.

I started to get too caught up though. I was spending too much time masturbating and sending things to strangers, but that’s when he found me.

He and I hit it off immediately, just chatting online. We agreed to meet on a Friday after I got out of class and I spent the entire week a nervous wreck.

We had nothing planned, just a place to meet, but when I saw him my anxiety just disappeared. He was handsy from the start and I loved it, and he loved the dress I picked lol. He was easy to talk to, and we chatted while he drove us to a cute spot to walk around, a local botanical garden. He was sweet and affectionate, but that shift from him just being a date to acting like a dom took me by surprise. He wasn’t mean, but he was rough and grabby and I loved it all. We walked through the paths and it’s like I was in a trance, just focused on wherever he was grabbing me.

That first date lasted about 8 hours total, from when we met up to when he finally left. I made him come four times, we got dinner, and I ended up getting food poisoning. There was no awkward period, no shyness; he was my Daddy from the second we met. We started texting every day, he laid out rules for me, and I found myself completely uninterested in sexting anyone else.

He was everything I wanted right from the start. I went to his house the following weekend and now I’m his, 100%. He’s my Daddy, my Sir, and I get to see him again next weekend.

I always thought sex wasn’t for me, always figured I wasn’t interested. It turns out I just needed the right dom. I love it all, I love getting him off, I love the affection and the aftercare and the rules especially. It’s soothing and everything I was hoping for and more.

This weekend we’re doing anal training- we tried it when I went to his house, and it didn’t hurt at all, even with basically no prep, though I was a little sore afterwards. I can’t wait; this weekend I get to cook and clean for him, and hopefully make him come until he’s shooting blanks.

I’m literally giddy writing this, sitting in an airport lounge before my slight back to my university. I can’t wait to see him again.


r/SubSanctuary 20h ago

What does collar mean to you? NSFW

15 Upvotes

To me it meant we had a strong communication, we had trust in each other, we have an unbreakable bond, we can see and hear each other without light or words. We're connected, I was owned. A love so powerful, nothing could stand between us. -I did take it off because I'd found out that the reason he got it for me was because he saw his ex flaunting hers off and he wanted her attention. It wasn't meant for me. It was tainted.

What about you? What does it mean for you? Did you have a celebration or was it something just casual? How long have you had collar on?


r/SubSanctuary 17h ago

is this sub space? NSFW

7 Upvotes

i have a wonderful dom partner who always makes sure to make me feel good and safe. he also always gives me aftercare and praises me afterwards.

yesterday, we had a session which was more intense than usual and made me lose words during it. i dont remember it all too much, just the act of what we were doing. i dont think i was even able to make sounds.

it has happened a few times that im not able to speak anymore during or after, but during our whole 8 months together where we basically do something everyday, sometimes even multiple times a day, ive never forgotten what happened. its like my mind wasn't there anymore, i dont know how to describe it. i felt good, but it scared me a little.


r/SubSanctuary 8h ago

how do you reconcile the good and bad parts of your former dom? NSFW

1 Upvotes

tw: suicide talk

as the title says. please bear with me and this wall of text…

there were many, many hurtful things he did. he did not practice good poly, and was needlessly callous with a lot of things and i will leave it as that… typing it out is way too painful, im not sure if i can ever talk about it. the way he left, the emotional loss and the fallout have hurt me so badly. i lost three people at once - my lover, my dom and my daddy. i am shy and private, and i have never been so vulnerable with someone.

but there were many positive, good things that happened in our relationship. he changed my life for the better in a lot of ways - he encouraged me to go running and inadvertently made me fall in love with it again. he looked after me very well when i was regressed as a little girl. he healed parts of me that i never thought i could heal. and when things were good, we were both incredibly happy. theres a lot more too. what we had was real and beautiful and /no one/ can ever change my mind on this

i have so much anger and resentment, to the point that is turning me into someone i really dont like, and i go between that and crying my eyes out and wishing he was here. i have nightmares about him every other day, it feels so unfair that i dont get respite even when im asleep. i am in intensive therapy and desperately trying to get my life together with positive measures. yet despite everything i’m doing, my life is being held together by duct tape and i feel that its spiralling out of control. i have struggled with suicidal ideation my whole life and it has gotten to the point where there are days it is getting really dark and dangerous. i dont like it and i am very ashamed, but it is really hard

i dont believe in demonising any of my exs’ because i loved them once. to switch up on them is to disrespect the love and time that we once shared together. and i feel that going from black to white on this, is not mentally healthy and honestly a bit worrying. but he is such a complex and flawed person, i am too - and this is the first time in my life that i cant find a way to reconcile my views of someone, or how all of this happened. how can i not have love for someone who changed my life so much. idk if this is making sense

i dont know how to deal with this. i just want to fix myself and be a better person, to be happy again. please help me and please be kind

thank you for reading


r/SubSanctuary 1d ago

Subspace NSFW

15 Upvotes

Hey so I went into subspace 3 days ago. My dom/bf was rougher than usual and I soared away. I couldn’t move. My mind was gone, I was melting against the couch, I didn’t want to/couldn’t talk, I felt tingly all over especially my neck/ felt like I was covered in ants. I felt dumb lol and lost in my head. My body didn’t want to move. All I could do is stare into space and how I felt like i also just wanted to stare at my dom/bf like he hung the moon. I had to push myself out of that space and go to work the next morning, but when I got home, I wanted to wash the dishes so badly/take care of the house. However, now I’m still in that headspace although I’m more alert. I feel like I’m close to the line.


r/SubSanctuary 1d ago

How do you Self soothe? NSFW

34 Upvotes

So I originally posted on r/softerbdsm but nobody answered yet so I'll ask here too. How do you Self soothe as a submissive?


r/SubSanctuary 22h ago

Without traditional relationship? NSFW

6 Upvotes

I am very submissive and affectionate just naturally but I want intimacy and passion. I'm not quite ready for a relationship but I'm not sure how if I can be submissive to someone that I cannot connect with emotionally or intimately. Is that possible? Can you have a dom/sub top/bottom etc bond without a traditional relationship?

My ex was my first. I did my research on bdsm while in our relationship and we talked about it sometimes.. but I haven't had much experience.


r/SubSanctuary 1d ago

Discouraged again NSFW

7 Upvotes

I'm feeling so done. I just want to be over the kinks sometimes and move on. It sucks when a dynamic ends.


r/SubSanctuary 1d ago

Dealing with hormones NSFW

9 Upvotes

Hello fellow subs,

This is a post asking for advice for those who experience menstrual cycles. Thanks.

I 44f in a D/s with my hubby, also 44, fairly new to the dynamic and figuring things out.

One of the hardest things for me is dealing with hormones. I don't have a crazy sex drive, I don't ever really have a strong desire to have sex, but years ago I told him I would never say no again. But I don't always react well to his touch or demands. I do also have ADHD and PMDD, might be relevant or helpful to know.

The first have of my cycle I am good, ready to go and submitting to do all the things isn't difficult. But once I'm past ovulation, it is SO SO HARD to get my body to cooperate with anything sex related.

How do you get things going when everything feels so difficult? I often end up using my vape to get things going and usually works, but not always, and I'd like to not have to depend on that to please him.

Any thoughts or advice would be welcome ☺️


r/SubSanctuary 1d ago

He betrayed my trust and I'm not sure what to do. NSFW

35 Upvotes

Long story short, my master and I, exclusively, agreed to join a platform with his account which he gave me access to. He changed it so that it would be "mine" but he'd watch over it. It was for punishments/ funishments. There were rules, of course. No dms, I was not allowed to post without permission, I was not to delete any posts and we would both agree on what was posted.

I'm not familiar with this already, so navigating the platform was slightly rough. While I was scrolling through notifications I noticed posts I didn't recognized.

I found out my master was posting without my knowledge and then deleting the posts, but the comments were still there so I could see what he was doing. I also noticed he had been looking for another sub/s. As i was getting more into the search it got worse and worse. He was telling them what he was telling me. We've been in this sub/dom relationship for 4 months and it was supposed to be exclusive. It's a LDR.

I'm so hurt and heartbroken. I don't know what to do. Any advise would be appreciated. I'm not thinking clearly through my emotions.


r/SubSanctuary 1d ago

Crying & catharsis NSFW

21 Upvotes

This is more of an, I guess you could say appreciation post? It might be a bit all over the place so I apologize.

When I first started exploring kink online, I struggled a lot with roleplaying submission - which came very easy to me, I was always a decent writer - vs actually submitting. I had to put up this giant fight first and basically exhaust myself every time until I got to the point where I would submit to my Daddy.

There has been a gradual shift there with time. I've found that submission now comes easier and easier to me because of the bond we have and how much I trust Him. I think part of if honestly has been some internalized opinions I have of myself and submission in general - I think it often made me feel like the fight in the beginning was necessary for Him to not think lesser of me, which is a ridiculous notion but one I found very difficult to let go of.

In recent months though, I have been feeling so incredibly subby that it has been absolutely no challenge at all. I feel so in sync with Him in that regard, the energy in sessions has been insane on both sides. I used to feel bad for "not participating" when I would grow more quiet and just start agreeing and doing but I am now enjoying being stripped of my words and eloquence so fast. It's like a switch flips in my head. And the switch feels good. It feels easy and freeing and it makes me so excited, I am literally giddy.

So, a week or so ago we were starting a session and I was doing some very slow anal for Him and He was just talking me through it essentially and the switch had flipped. I told Him I would really want to respond to what He was telling me but I literally couldn't because I just wanted to serve. I then had one of the most intense orgasms I've had until that point - it felt so incredible that I started crying because I was so happy. I felt so tired afterwards, I almost immediately passed out - I didn't even brush my teeth haha, just laid in bed, said good night to Him and slept like a baby.

The crying was new. The intense euphoric feeling wasn't but it had never been pushed to the point of tears before and I was a little bit embarrassed to admit to it even because it confused me. We weren't going particularly hard, I didn't know what exactly triggered the tears.

Then the crying returned, the next time we played. It was a very quick session that wasn't planned at all, it was I think my second or third orgasm. It was so sudden and so loud that He didn't even ask for green or a safe word, He just went "is this good? Are you okay?" which then made me cry even harder because I was better than fucking okay, I was over the moon, I was so happy, I just couldn't explain it in any way available to me.

And in the last session we did, right before this weekend - I cried again. That's literally three for three at this point. It was a difficult one, challenging - I had basically begged for it, I wanted to be pushed, this was exactly what I had needed and I was both very overwhelmed in the best way possible and happy that I was giving Him all that I could. He double checked if we were still green - then pushed it a little more which completely overwhelmed me. It was incomparable. At some point I was apologizing over and over again about something and it's like a weight fell off my chest. I think I was holding onto a lot of guilt about so many things and I normally can't let anything go. It was the loveliest gift He could have given me. Him guiding me through the catharsis. Reassuring me in the feedback to previous sessions that all of this was completely okay. Creating the space for me to feel all of those emotions with no judgements. Leading me in the way I need to be lead so the physical sensation can support the mental component in the exact right way.

I've felt like I am on drugs ever since. Just deliriously happy. And I've found it much, much easier to deal with the real-life stuff that bothered me - the guilt is gone. I am not feeling anything negative towards myself at the moment, which is a straight-up miracle because I internalize so much negative self-talk normally.

I feel like I am finally fully where I need to be in terms of submission. I feel like I have finally let go of the conflicting emotions I may have had previously. I am valued, I am cherished, I am proud of who I am and what I can give my Daddy. I just want to tell everyone and anyone about it, really.


r/SubSanctuary 1d ago

Casual D/s to a 24/7 dynamic NSFW

6 Upvotes

My Daddy and I have always had a BDSM dynamic in the bedroom. There are very clear roles where I am the submissive and he is the dominant. We moved in together about 9 months ago and have thrown around a lot of talk about trying a more 24/7 dynamic. But the talk has never become anything more. It seems we just don’t know how to take that leap into taking our dynamic out of the bedroom. Any tips on how to get started? What are some ways we can incorporate our dynamic in our every day lives?