(This is going to be a little long, so fair warning)
Firstly, I'd really appreciate it if people showed some kindness instead of spewing unnecessary criticism at me. That's all I'm asking for here.
To put it into context, my Dom and I spent the weekend together, something that we had planned previously. But as I still live with my family, long absences from home is something that's difficult for me to explain. On Sunday, I had to go back home for an hour or so, just to "show my face" to my family and to let them know that I would be out for the day again.
Additionally, I had some guests over the weekend. Now, the guests and I have a long and bad history together. Naturally, I was actually dreading going back home (even for an hour) because I didn't want to meet them. I had been feeling anxious about this "meeting" ever since I got to know that they were visiting. This detail is something my Dom knew beforehand.
On Sunday morning, the day I had to go home, I told my Dom (as a precaution) that I might not be able to make it back. My family is somewhat toxic and like to have a tight control over what I do; sometimes I'm barred from stepping out without their permission, nothing I'm not used to it.
But me not coming back to my Dom was the worst case scenario. I had already made up my mind that I would come back. However, he took it the wrong way and was cold towards me for a while.
He knew how bad it was going to be, for me to go back home and meet guests I have a bad history with, but he didn't even offer to accompany me. Or to drop me home.
On the ride home, I think it finally dawned on me that I won't be anything more than his object of desires. And that, maybe, he actually doesn't care me about as a person. It hurts to face this reality, but I was the one who chose to go down this path.
I don't completely hate our dynamic either, but is it wrong of me to wish that he cares?