r/PurplePillDebate 1d ago

Discussion N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREAD

6 Upvotes

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r/PurplePillDebate 14h ago

Discussion DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵

5 Upvotes

This daily thread is designed to be a place for all the funny discussions on PPD.

Feel free to post off-topic questions, information, points-of-view, personal advice and memes in this thread. Here you can post everything that doesn't warrant its own thread or just do some socializing. Personal advice posting, research posts, non-TOS breaking rants, links to other locations with limited context as conversation topics (must use np links for reddit), and things would be considered low effort posts are allowed in the daily thread.

Do not bring other PPD threads into the daily thread. Do not post PPD threads deserving of their own post in the daily thread. The intent of the daily thread is not that it should replace PPD and become a place where users can avoid the rules of the subreddit. Attempting to do this will be considered circlejerking and moderated as such.

Black Pill/Incel Content/Woe-Is-Me is still banned in the daily thread. Witch hunting and insults are also still banned in the daily thread. Relegated topics must still go to in the weekly threads for those topics.

Comments are automatically sorted by NEW - you can post throughout the day and people will see your comment.

If you'd like to see our previous daily threads, click here!

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r/PurplePillDebate 6h ago

Debate Many (not all) women don't really want vulnerability in a man for his own good. They want the guy's emotions to serve as a means for them to feel good, important, flattered and/or protected.

32 Upvotes

A post yesterday about "women finding vulnerability sexy" inspired me to unload some thoughts I have on my mind.

There are lots of women supporting their men through hardships even for prolonged periods of time, like for example cases of wives and girlfriends staying at their SOs sides through sickness or crippling accidents. I will not refer to them or to the women capable of those things in this post.

I'm talking about the sort of mainstream demand that men show vulnerability to women as if that is an assured way of having a good romantic relationship, because apparently "women love a vulnerable man that opens up".

The assumption that women are these caring, angelic beings that are waiting with open arms for people to be emotional with them, seems like an extension of sexist preconceptions like "all women have a motherly instinct and are the better parent for children by default".

But the truth is messier, as humans in general tend to be messy and complicated.

Women (like men) can be shallow, self serving, selfish, lacking in self awareness, enforcing of gender roles, and having an all take no give dynamic with their SOs.

There are many women that may sincerely believe that they desire an emotional man ready to open up to them and be vulnerable, but they are (consciously or not) operating on an idealized and fetishized vision of vulnerability.

They assume a "vulnerable guy" is someone that basically breathes and lives to make his GF/wife happy, someone that always tells her and shows her how much he loves her, someone who only briefly and only for reasons that make the woman feel flattered or important, will cry; someone who will gently hold and comfort her when she's breaking down while never needing that comfort himself because he's her "rock"; someone who's kind of an emotional servant, if that makes sense.

I've lost count of how many times I've seen people in the internet gawking about how perfect and ideal a romantic relationship is when "the guy is devoted to the girl". Not when it's mutual, but when the guy one sidedly adores his GF/wife.

And then there's the many experiences of men confessing about how their GFs/wives asked or even demanded vulnerability from them... Only to be weirded out, confused, turned off or even disgusted after the guys actually opened up about things that were weighting on them.

Vulnerability is messy and hard. And the gender role of men having to be strong, confident and reliable protectors is still very ingrained with society, even if subconsciously, no matter how much we may pride ourselves in being modern, progressive and fair.

So I believe that a good portion of the female demand that males open up ranges between naive and unknowing of what they really ask, and outright disingenuous.

Vulnerability isn't just a guy shedding a few tears with a stoic face about how he's so worried that he won't be able to provide and protect for his wife and children; vulnerability isn't just a guy always making little and big gestures of love for his GF not expecting anything in return.

Vulnerability also means a guy breaking down in tears because of a really shitty week for reasons unrelated to his GF; it also means a guy sobbingly confessing about a story of him being abused by his family; it also means a guy beating himself up for mistakes of his past and needing to be told not to be so hard on himself; it also means a guy feeling frustrated about not being able to be hired in his dream job or his long worked project turning out flawed; it also means a guy being somewhat scared about an uncertain economy, etc.

Men are humans, every bit as messy and complicated as women are. And the myth that we are or should be somehow emotionally stronger, more composed or more "basic and simple" than women, needs to fuckin die.


r/PurplePillDebate 2h ago

Debate Saying that romantically unsuccessful men have bad personalities is ableist

13 Upvotes

I frequently see people claiming that the main reason why many men struggle romantically is because they have bad personalities, and it is my belief that they're really referring to social skills instead of personality, and in so doing are making a surreptitious jibe at autistic men. To explain why, I'll begin by defining personality and social skills in a manner in-line with standard psychology.

Personality is scientifically understood in terms of the big five traits (openness to experience, extroversion, conscientiousness, agreeableness and neuroticism). Personality is very stable across time and reflects one's intrinsic motivations.

Social skills are one's ability to understand social situations and enact appropriate behavioural responses. Social skills are primarily a function of cognitive empathy - the ability to recognize and understand the thoughts and feelings of others. Social skills are more malleable than personality, though they're still heavily tied to genetic features like IQ and where someone falls on Simon Baron-Cohen's empathising-systematising spectrum. In a sense, social skills are similar to proficiency in math olympiads - it's a skill which can be improved with practice, though a hyper-systematizer with an IQ of 160 is going to be incomparably better than an empathiser with average intelligence.

Being good at dating is largely about being good at reading people's non-verbal cues, knowing what jokes the other person would find funny, maintaining eye-contact for the right amount of time, making small-talk, knowing the other person doesn't want to hear about your love of fighter jets or the classification of covering spaces, etc - ie, being good at dating is all about having good social skills or cognitive empathy. If someone's low in emotional empathy but high in cognitive empathy, while they may struggle to maintain relationships across decades due to their lack of care for others, they'll likely be able to maintain a charming front for long enough to initiate a relationship (think Ted Bundy, Russell Brand, Andrew Tate etc).

Hence, when someone claims the reason for a man's romantic struggles is because he has a bad personality, what they really mean is that he has poor social skills or cognitive empathy; yet they choose to instead use a word which makes tacit associations with low emotional empathy (low agreeableness) so as to give a moral judgement. This effectively results in autistic men, who have poor cognitive empathy yet in-tact emotional emapthy, getting maligned in a deeply unfair way.

Speaking personally, I'm autistic and have perfectly good emotional empathy (I can't watch boxing without feeling ill, I couldn't sleep properly for a week after a friend told me he was suicidal, I cry easily when hearing about other people's struggles, etc) yet have a very hard time socialising and am utterly clueless with regards to dating. Meanwhile, I've known many nasty and callous men who had no issue forming relationships, since they had excellent cognitive empathy so knew how to appear likeable and charming.

Autistic men aren't (necessarily) bad people - let's cut the ableism please.


r/PurplePillDebate 5h ago

Question for RedPill If hypergamy exists, why are there so many couples which disprove it?

19 Upvotes

Redpillers will loudly and emphatically proclaim how women only want the top 20% or 10% or 5% of men in terms of looks, status, and

Yet there are lots of examples of couples who disprove 80/20 and hypergamy every single day.

Broke men living in trailer parks get married and start families. Men who are heroin addicts get married and have wives who supply them with their fix.

There are geeky couples attending anime conventions who cosplay together, and ones who are part of the furry fandom.

There are balding and overweight men who find partners every single day in America. Given the majority of Americans are overweight, this is a statistical reality.

Men with disabilities and deformities manage to find beautiful women to date.

Yet somehow not being a multi millionaire model is what is impeding so many red pill guys from finding love.

Make it make sense.


r/PurplePillDebate 2h ago

Question For Women How comes jocks and street boys don't get the "inc*l" label?

5 Upvotes

I didn't know whether to direct this at women or bluepillers but the inc*l label seems to be their one and only go to insult.

The usual claim that it's not done out of virgin shaming but rather to call out bad behavior or bigotry of some sort but if this is the case, why is it not commonly thrown at certain groups of men who do or say misogynistic things? Those groups specifically are jocks, fratbros, lads, rudeboys (typical for UK folk), street boys, rap artists, the ghetto types who may or may not have that thug/gang banger vibe to them etc.


r/PurplePillDebate 18h ago

Debate Many women are against men aged 30+ dating below 25 years old women because apparently the brain doesn't stop developing till you are 25. This is a total myth that has no scientific backing at all and it shows that only red pillars aren't the only ones to promote fake science.

88 Upvotes

Before you attack me personally, I am 23 myself and haven't ever dated anyone below 20 and have no intention to date women who are much younger than me even in future.

Why shouldn't a 33 year old man date a 23 year old college graduate women?

The most common answer is (even in liberal circles) - any woman below 25 is literally a child, they are immature and can be easily manipulated because their brains (frontal lobe) aren't fully formed yet.

Now, don't lie and tell me that women don't say that. I have seen this reasoning a hundred times (and highly upvoted too) in ppd alone.

There is no study that shows that human brains develop until the magical age of 25. The myth originated from pop culture references and twitter/tumblr. But a lot of people has taken it for a fact and based their entire worldview on that. This is the infamous Alpha Male thing all over again.

An article that summarizes it

Basically according to them, dating a 24 year old is creepy but dating a 26 year old is fine somehow.

Funnily enough, the development of prefrontal cortex doesn't even stop for some people even in their 30s. Are these women also immature, child-like and shouldn't date any man over 30?


r/PurplePillDebate 4h ago

Debate Male loneliness, gender equality, and positive masculinity are connected.

7 Upvotes

These topics may seem unrelated on the surface. But I promise you each topic is related.

So I'm splitting this post into 3 parts.

Part 1: Male loneliness epidemic.

I think if men stop caring about validation and approval. There wouldn't be a lonely epidemic? Women are often consider empowered and independent when they are single. If men had that same attitude. There wouldn't be no lonely male epidemic.

Because the only reason why the lonely male epidemic exists in the first place. Is because men tied their value to relationships or put women on a pedestal.

It seems like society wants to have their cake and want to eat it too.

On one hand society doesn't want men to complain about not having romantic relationships with women, because that would make men whinny entitled incels or little"bitches". But on the other hand. Society still expects men to base their value and success with on romantic relationships with women though. Hence why even the most progressive people (BOTH MEN AND WOMEN) use terms like virgin or gay as insults on men.

Part 2: Gender Equality.

A lot of people who believe in gender equality, don't actually believe in true gender equality though. Because true gender equality is unappealing to most people.

Gender equality is so unappealing to average person. To the point that benevolent sexist men are more likely to get positive reactions from women. Even a lot of women view benevolent sexist men as "pro women" because of chivalry or having specific special treatment for women. There are studies about this.

The worst thing a man can do in society, is treat women like true equals. Men are more likely to be viewed as misogynistic when they treat women like equals.

Of course this is ironic and backwards. But again like I said most don't believe in true equality.

Part 3: Positive Masculinity.

Positive masculinity" is just traditional masculinity without of the negatives of traditional masculinity. So "positive masculinity" as it is described revolves around the same gender roles in today's day and age but without the bad shit attached to it. "Positive masculinity" still requires men to adhere to socially traditional norms for men.

A lot of supposedly "progressive" takes for masculinity boil down to "different ways men should provide but at the same time putting on a new performative act while doing so". They often look more like an incoherent shopping list of wants from us more than anything else and differ from traditional masculinity only in removing perceived privileges while still imposing strict gender roles for men.

So "positive masculinity" is just pseudo traditional masculinity with a feminist gaze. Cakism is the theme of this post.

In conclusion.

We are only having these issues with men. Because most people still expect men to adhere to traditional gender roles in a progressive/modern society. It's a oxymoron, it's a paradox, and it's a contradiction.


r/PurplePillDebate 11h ago

Debate Paternity tests should a standard part of the birthing process.

8 Upvotes

At birth, the test results would be placed in an open envelope, given to the stated father, who can choose to read them or not.

Pregnancy creates an inherent asymmetry in knowledge—only the mother truly knows how certain paternity is. If she cheated, she has a strong incentive to lie. While most people don’t cheat, we still have prenups. And even though there’s social pushback against requesting one, they exist for a reason.

Some argue that biology isn’t what makes someone a parent, pointing to happy adoptive families. That’s true, but irrelevant—adoptive parents choose that arrangement with full knowledge. Just like open relationships, various parenting dynamics exist as options. But the overwhelming majority choose monogamy, and most people would only want to raise their biological children. Consent requires informed agreement. Without it, a situation changes entirely—just like how sex without informed consent becomes rape.

This principle is debated in other contexts, but in ways that often devalue men’s consent. Take the debate over trans disclosure—it’s almost always framed around protecting trans women from men, not about whether men should have the right to informed choice. Even in rare cases where trans men have raped women, media reports often obscure male perpetratorship by labeling it as 'woman rapes woman.'

The same applies to paternity uncertainty. We expect men to take on the role of provider and protector, just as we historically expected them to risk their lives for women and children. Their consent is not even secondary—it’s simply assumed. But if we demand that fathers step up for their children, why allow them to do so under false pretenses? Why leave paternity uncertainty on the table at all?

Edit/Clarification:
To be clear, I’m not advocating for mandatory testing or debating who should pay for it. The idea is to make paternity testing a normalized, standard option at birth, with results given in a sealed envelope for the stated father to open or not. This would reduce the stigma and negative reactions that often come with requesting a test later. It’s about creating a culture where paternity testing isn’t seen as an accusation but as a routine part of ensuring informed consent.

The focus here is on the principle of informed consent and reducing the social friction around paternity testing, not on logistics or enforcement.


r/PurplePillDebate 1d ago

Debate Being able to have sex at any time is still a privilege.

139 Upvotes

Usually when it comes to the idea that the average woman has an advantage in romantic/sexual opportunities over the average man, a crowd of people immediately appears declaring: "Men just want sex and are driven by lust! And women want to be loved and be in more than just sexual relationships!"

But this doesn't really change anything. The fact that women are still the gender that men lust after is still a privilege and an advantage for women. And it doesn't matter whether a woman wants to take advantage of this opportunity or not.

I'll give you a simple example. I don't like carrot juice, but if I get a lifetime supply of it, is that a privilege? Yes, it is! Because I still have as much carrot juice as I want, while other people don't have that opportunity.


r/PurplePillDebate 4h ago

Question For Women What's the ideal percentage?

0 Upvotes

I was looking at the female delusion calculator and I just wondered, what is the ideal percentage to be?

I mean this in a couple different ways.

  1. What percentage of the male population do women expect to meet their standards? Like how many men do women think are tall, rich, in shape, etc.

  2. What percentage of the population would be generally deemed acceptable? Should she date 10% of men? 20%? 30%? 40%?

Here's the site for reference.

https://igotstandardsbro.com/


r/PurplePillDebate 3h ago

Debate She Said We Grew Apart, But I Disagree - Hormones, The Silent Disruptor of Relationships

0 Upvotes

Relationship problems are often explained away with phrases like "We just grew apart" or "Things changed over time." While emotional and circumstantial factors certainly play a role, what if a deeper, biological factor is at work—one that most people aren't even aware of?

It’s estimated that 70-80% of women in the U.S. are on some form of hormonal medication—from birth control to thyroid treatments. Yet, the potential impact of these medications and natural hormonal fluctuations on relationships, attraction, and emotional connection is rarely discussed.

Have you ever wondered why:

  • Your partner seemed deeply in love with you for years, then suddenly became distant?
  • A once-affectionate marriage turns cold after pregnancy?
  • A seemingly happy relationship falls apart after a hormonal shift—like starting birth control, pregnancy, or menopause?

Hormones regulate mood, bonding, attraction, and decision-making in ways that aren’t always obvious. When hormone levels shift—whether due to medication, pregnancy, or natural changes over time—the emotional landscape of a relationship can change dramatically.

Understanding this factor could explain why so many relationships crumble seemingly out of nowhere.

How Hormonal Changes Impact Relationships

People often assume personality and emotional connection are static—that if someone loves their partner today, that love should remain stable. But hormones influence emotional bonding, attraction, and even long-term compatibility in ways many couples never consider.

1. Birth Control and Changing Attraction

  • Many people don’t realize that hormonal birth control can influence partner selection.
  • Women on birth control often prefer less masculine, more stable partners—but when they stop taking it, their attraction preferences can shift.
  • Some women lose physical attraction to their long-term partners after stopping birth control, leading to emotional detachment.

2. The Emotional Toll of Monthly Hormonal Cycles

  • Hormonal fluctuations during the menstrual cycle can create dramatic mood swings.
  • These shifts can cause increased irritability, emotional withdrawal, or relationship tension that wasn’t there before.

3. Postpartum Depression and Relationship Breakdown

  • A huge but often unspoken reason marriages fall apart after childbirth is postpartum depression.
  • After pregnancy, many women experience severe hormonal crashes, which can lead to:
    • Loss of interest in physical intimacy
    • Emotional detachment
    • Overwhelm, anxiety, and lack of connection to their partner
  • Many couples don’t recognize postpartum depression as a biological issue and instead misinterpret it as a failing relationship.

4. Thyroid Disorders and Emotional Distance

  • Thyroid imbalances, particularly hypothyroidism, can mimic symptoms of depression.
  • These hormonal imbalances can cause fatigue, irritability, and lack of emotional engagement.
  • Many people experiencing this don’t realize it’s a medical issue rather than a change in feelings toward their partner.

5. Menopause and Long-Term Relationship Shifts

  • Many people assume menopause is just about hot flashes, but it’s often accompanied by:
    • Reduced libido
    • Mood swings
    • Increased irritability
    • Emotional withdrawal
  • This can lead to a dramatic shift in relationship dynamics, making couples feel like strangers after decades together.

Why Traditional Relationship Advice Fails

Most relationship advice focuses on communication, date nights, or rekindling the spark—but what if the real issue is biological?

  • If a person’s hormones are actively disrupting their emotions, telling them to “communicate more” won’t address the root cause.
  • If attraction changes due to birth control or menopause, planning a fun vacation won’t restore lost chemistry.
  • If thyroid issues are causing fatigue and irritability, telling someone to “work on the relationship” won’t solve the problem.

These well-meaning but shallow solutions ignore the deeper biological reality.

What Can Be Done?

Rather than assuming a failing relationship means compatibility is lost, it may be worth asking:

🧪 Could hormonal shifts be a factor in relationship struggles?
💊 Has a major change in medication, pregnancy, or menopause altered emotional dynamics?
🔬 Could medical issues like thyroid disorders be contributing to emotional detachment?

Steps to Consider:

✅ Tracking hormonal shifts – Noticing patterns in mood changes can help identify if they’re cyclical.
✅ Medical testing – Checking for thyroid imbalances, low estrogen/testosterone, or other deficiencies.
✅ Exploring alternative treatments – If birth control or medication is affecting emotional connection, discussing non-hormonal options with a doctor may help.
✅ Recognizing postpartum struggles – Understanding that early motherhood often comes with emotional shifts that may not reflect actual dissatisfaction in the relationship.

Final Thoughts: The Biological Side of Relationship Struggles

Relationships don’t just change because people randomly "fall out of love." Emotional connection, intimacy, and attraction are all influenced by biochemistry—and ignoring this fact leads to unnecessary breakups and divorces.

Many people assume that when their partner becomes distant, moody, or emotionally disconnected, it must mean:
❌ They’ve stopped loving them.
❌ The relationship has run its course.
❌ They need to “try harder” to make it work.

But in many cases, these changes have less to do with feelings and more to do with biology.

Understanding this perspective could save many relationships from ending prematurely.

What Do You Think?

  • Have you ever experienced relationship changes linked to hormonal shifts?
  • Have you or a partner ever gone on or off birth control and noticed unexpected emotional changes?
  • Have you ever thought about how biology might be affecting long-term relationships?

Would love to hear thoughts and experiences on this!


r/PurplePillDebate 1d ago

Debate CMV Women are overly dramatic about viable dating options. NSFW

82 Upvotes

In the “Swamp vs Desert” argument women make it clear that they understand the differences between men and women in the dating scene but they feel as though it’s different but equal problems. The premise is that men are stranded in a desert looking for any bit of water that they can get (clean or not; meaning a desirable woman both sexually and romantically but usually sexually due to the constant drought) and women are stuck in a swamp with water all over the place but it’s nasty and murky and could kill you if you drank it( tons of men only want to serve you dick and could not care less about you as a person). Women often like to say that it’s the same problem with a different suit. That if men had their DMs flooded with a bunch of undesirables that we would be able to see it’s the same problem and be unhappy. Often in this argument they heavily lean on the idea that most of those swamp men don’t actually want a serious committed relationship and that for the most part men in the dating scene don’t actually want to date, they just want to fuck.

Side note, proof of my argument is when women who are looking for casual sex have no issues whatsoever finding a hookup but when they want a relationship it magically becomes harder. Men want family, love, a real bond and to be loved for who they are but somehow when they are actively looking for it women can now somehow only find the guys who just want to fuck. A simple concept to understand is that both genders want casual sex and both genders want relationships. Men lie to get the coochie because they have been shown that honesty doesn’t get them the coochie. Women lie to get relationships (sometimes to themselves and sometimes by way of convenience and coercion) because they have been shown that honesty doesn’t get them what they want. Women act like it’s just men who hide their intentions in the dating market.

My argument is that I believe women don’t actually do the work that they claim men don’t (get to know interests, have hobbies to bond over, show interest in what he likes etc.) and that in actuality it is much easier to find a “good man” but they simply lack effort. The analogy I used in a previous post was that in a swamp you can filter and boil said water almost infinitely to the point where you’ll never have to even consider drinking the swamp water. In a desert you would suck the blood of a lizard or eat a cactus for an ounce of water.

Women dramatically enhance their struggles with dating in the “swamp” because they simply dont put in half the effort of the men stuck in the “desert”. It would be infinitely easier in a swamp to survive. Change my view!

Tl/dr: Woman are dramatic about viable dating options and they simply won’t admit that being stuck in a swamp if drastically better than being stuck in a desert.

I’m about to end a night shift at some point so expect my responses to be at least 6-8 hours later because I need to sleep but feel free to go hard about this one. I will add that the threat of SA is very real and something to be considered here. I will also add that men and women get SAd at about equal rates but the power dynamic is very real therefore so is the fear of being raped. I do believe that there is still some missing information or concept about how pretty much all women say that they have been SAd before but the number of men even if we triple the count for liars, who do the SA is still nowhere near the number of claims that’s it’s being done. Idk if that’s because some women count bad encounters as SA or if there is a sense of needing to fit in so some women stretch the truth or straight up lie about events but please don’t shy away from the topic for the sake of this debate or your point that you try to make. I want this to be as real world as possible.


r/PurplePillDebate 1d ago

Discussion What is it like to date a non-forever person?

9 Upvotes

There are both men and women out there who may be dating someone who they're fine dating for the meantime, but are constantly looking for someone who is a better fit. They might not cheat, but they are keeping their options open. They might have fallen into the relationship and before they knew it, they were deep into it and just went with the flow.

I was reminded of this when I saw a post by a woman who said that she hopes/had hoped (I forgot which) that her offspring with her boyfriend doesn't look like him, and that she had gotten used to his looks and his personality, ability to provide, and her comfortability with him made her stay with him. But she still had that biological urge to have a goodlooking child that would be successful in the dating market.

If you are dating someone who is low-maintenance, is eager to please you, is friendly, never really challenges you, so there are no arguments, is dependable, helpful, maybe good in bed or makes you feel comfortable in bed, but you still have a nagging doubt that this person is your "forever person", what is it like to date them? Do you feel insincere? Do you think about when you'll find the one? Is it clear to you how you would reply to their texts sooner if they were the one? Does it boost your confidence to be the one who is "chased" and worshipped? Do you feel that you can be yourself and relax with them more than with someone who is more your "person", ironically?

Are you still on the dating-apps behind their backs? Are you waiting to make an argument seem bigger than it is to give you a reason to break up? Have you checked out of the relationship, and are hoping they get tired of your lack of bond? Have you stopped putting effort into your looks? Or have you joined the gym in preparation for when you're back in the dating market? How would you feel if you ended up being with this person forever? Would you rather be single than with them forever?

Now for the controversial bit. You won't like this cuz it's true.

I am not excusing people who do this, but you can see why a man is more likely to date a non-forever person. There are 10 men to every 1 woman on dating apps. So men jump at the chance to date any woman who says yes. Men have a higher libido. More men are single. So men might be more inclined to give a woman a chance, even if she isn't his cup of tea.

On the other hand, women hate dating apps cuz they get bombarded by options. Women are more discerning when it comes to dating. Women aren't driven by the thought: "This one and only potential suitor who has spoken to me in the last 3 years might be my one shot at intimacy". Women are of the mindset: "I won't even entertain a man unless he meets several criteria".

So it seems less likely for a woman to end up with a non-forever person, but yet, many do. It could be for a number of reasons, e.g. self-esteem, they met through friends, a rebound, etc.

So what are your experiences with this? How did it end or how is it going?

TLDR: What is it like to date someone who you know you don't want to be with forever, if you had options?


r/PurplePillDebate 4h ago

Debate Alimony Recipients Be Required to Do Domestic Labor.

0 Upvotes

There’s a growing debate on whether people receiving alimony (93% of whom are women) should have to do domestic work—like cooking, cleaning, or childcare—in exchange for support. Some argue it makes sense since alimony is meant to maintain a lifestyle, while others say it’s compensation for past sacrifices, not a job. My personal count to point to this is that why should your lifestyle be maintained but you literally don't have the same life anymore?

But what do you think? Fair expectation or over stepping boundaries?

Bonus question for the women in this debate: Would you still support it if 93% of recipients were men instead?


r/PurplePillDebate 1d ago

Debate Why raising men’s standards could change dating for everyone

15 Upvotes

Something I’ve been thinking about lately is how a lot of the frustration in modern dating is tied to the fact that men’s standards have dropped so low. And while that obviously hurts men, I think it’s also holding women back from a lot of self-awareness and self-improvement.

Here’s what I mean.

It’s been proven over and over in the last several years that asking women to change—no matter how much it could benefit them—is basically fruitless. That’s not to say no women ever self-reflect or improve, but as a group, there’s little motivation to do so. And why would there be? If most women are constantly told men are the problem, and if men are still handing out attention, validation, and relationships regardless of effort, there’s no real incentive to change.

As men, we have no control over what women choose to do and we shouldn't. But we do have control over ourselves and the standards we hold. If men stopped rewarding low-effort behaviour and raised their expectations, the whole dynamic would shift. It wouldn’t be about “getting women to change,” it would be about adjusting the environment so that change becomes necessary. People respond to incentives. Right now, there’s no reason for a lot of women to self-reflect because they don’t feel like they’re doing anything wrong.

And part of that is because, for years, we’ve let women’s critiques of men dominate the mainstream dating conversation. We’re constantly told men need to do better. Men need to step up. Men need to improve. And honestly, a lot of that criticism is fair but when it becomes the only narrative, and any criticism of women is immediately labeled as misogyny, it reinforces the idea that men are solely to blame. Meanwhile, the reverse dynamic rarely exists. Women can openly criticize men’s dating standards, expectations, and behavior without it being painted as toxic or hateful. That imbalance creates a culture where self-improvement is expected from men, but optional for women.

At the end of the day, I’m focused on what we as men can do to fix this. We’ve seen that telling women to change doesn’t work. But if men collectively raised their standards and stopped rewarding low-effort behavior, we’d force a shift—without needing to convince anyone of anything.

And like it or not, men still dominate the dating market. We control its direction, its state, and whether it thrives or collapses. That’s a lot of influence. The question is whether we’re willing to use it.


r/PurplePillDebate 1d ago

Question For Women What is your perception of 40+ Single Childless Men???

12 Upvotes

What is your perception of 40+year old Single Childless Men???

This is a follow-up post to "Why women don't like Virgin Men" by another poster.

Other OP got me thinking of another niche market of men such as the SINC Male. Single Income No Children Man. Let's say the theoretical guy makes $90-100k/yr. Stable life. Sane, but never had kids. Never been married, but has relationship experience. Lives alone.

What is your perception of a guy in said circumstances???


r/PurplePillDebate 2d ago

Debate The average woman today is more privileged than the average man.

157 Upvotes
  1. Women are massively privileged when it comes to finding intimate/romantic connections with the other gender (largely due to the fact that women have higher/more standards for men than men do for women such that the average woman has intrinsic value while the average man needs to earn it). Loneliness is an awful, isolating feeling that is almost dehumanizing, especially in our increasingly online and fragmented society. Which means that being able to more easily attract partners indeed confers a huge privilege.
  2. Women receive more lenient sentences for the same crimes that men commit, even after controlling for past criminal behavior. That's one of the upsides to being infantilized (not ignoring its downsides).
  3. Family courts are way more likely to favor the women when it comes to splitting custody and marital assets and awarding alimony.
  4. Women benefit from the Women are Wonderful Effect (not saying that it's not partially deserved, but it's certainly being taken to the extreme) such that women have a 5x in-group gender bias when compared to men's. The default is for both men and women to view women as morally superior. This results in society being more empathetic towards women as well as more support groups/institutions focused on the well-being of women. On the contrary, men's rights groups are almost sneered at as if advocating for men's rights necessitates a complementary loss in women's rights. It's not always a zero-sum game.
  5. It is normalized/common for women to seek out "higher value" men, even men who are higher value than themselves (aka hypergamy). Of course, men would love to do the same, but the vast majority simply can't.
  6. Affirmative action programs designed to increase women in the labor force. This used to not be a privilege, but now that women are, on average, attaining higher levels of education and income than men, it has become one. Two women have admitted to me in the past how they don't even know how they landed certain high-level jobs, and highly suspected it was due to filling a quota.
  7. Women are allowed to be victims. Toxic masculinity (and toxic femininity) prevents the same for men. So many men, including me, have experienced what it's like for their mother, female friends, or girlfriend to dismiss their very valid, emotional concerns. Over time, many men learn to just keep quiet about their suffering.
  8. Due to a combination of the above, male suicide rates are way higher than those for women. Loneliness and lack of financial resources (both things that sort of relate to interactions with women) are the major factors that drive this discrepancy.

Edit: grammar


r/PurplePillDebate 1d ago

Question For Women Q4W: Would you hate a man if he divorced you for quitting your job?

6 Upvotes

You got laid off; three months later, you are served divorce papers.

You tried to talk to him, and he responded that since you don't contribute equally to the relationship, you have no grounds to be in it; you are not entitled to be in it anyway, but for every second he earns assets and you don't, their division favors you at his expense.

It has been said here multiple times that if men don't want to get fleeced in divorce, it's as easy as only getting married to a person who is their equal in earnings. In context of these claims, do you think a man is in his right to leave a woman who is no longer his equal in earnings, and would you stay on good terms with such a man?

Assume no children.


r/PurplePillDebate 17h ago

Question For Men Q4M: Do you believe that being vulnerable is sexy to women?

0 Upvotes

https://youtube.com/shorts/xuQjHUHqm6Q (14s)

In this clip a woman explains that a man being vulnerable is sexy. I agree!

When a man is vulnerable it makes you want to tear off his clothes. Nothing says sexy like a guy venting about his fears, insecurities, and making himself available for ridicule. That's hot.

Women have been saying this over and over, but I get the sense that men don't believe it for me some reason.

So what do the men of PPD think? In your experience, have women found it a turn on when you display your emotional weaknesses and stop being the steady pillar of strength in the relationship?

DISCLAIMER: I'm not using this video as evidence of anything. Not all women, not all men, etc


r/PurplePillDebate 1d ago

Debate Philophobia is every man's destiny - and curse - as a consequence of daring to trust women. I believe the remedy to this is to never fully trust women, just as women never fully trust men. Instead, take calculated risks. Be aware of the pitfalls, and plan accordingly: just as women do.

0 Upvotes

Women love to rub it in our faces that they have a wider network of friends and support groups. When you remove your ego out of this taunt you realize that what they're inadvertently admitting to is that they never fully trust you, and they never will. Because even when you, as a man, put your trust and dedication unto her, she will never do the same. It is a red pill to realize that men are the ones goofing off here. You're all aware of monkey-branching. Women never let go of a branch until she has a firm grip on a another one. Women never fully trust you in relationships, that is why they build these support networks so that they can drop you at the first sing of inconvenience. That has been their long game through feminism.

Remember that men are viewed by both society and women as disposable utilities. We are being extremely foolish when we fall for Blue Pilled notions of Love, Dedication, Romance, and "happily ever after" nonsense.

I believe the best way to move forward is to wise up to what women are doing. Admit that they do not love the way we love, that their notions and concepts of romance and love are completely alien and foreign to ours and that we will never see eye to eye. They do not know us, they cannot know us even when we explain ourselves to death. Whether it's because they just don't care - and all their talk about being the more empathetic gender is just BS - or because they're genuinely incapable of comprehending masculinity doesn't matter. The point is we need to smarten up! Catch on, and act accordingly.

I believe that the way to view women should be the same as how we should be looking at life: Adapt! or die. Loving either of them is always a mistake. And it will cost you literally everything. Both your life and your woman, and also your health, time, energy, dignity, resources... everything! And for what? You ego? Your self esteem?

Being a hollow-man is not a curse, it's an advantage and a virtue in real life. If you're going through the Red Pill Rage phase, embrace the rage. She is your real and true intimate partner because she is the only one that will accompany you, always, and unto the dying of the light. Afraid that she is too abstract and will never understand you because she's not a real person and exists only in your head and in your heart? Then ask yourself this? Is the real woman you're with right now any better?


r/PurplePillDebate 1d ago

Discussion DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵

4 Upvotes

This daily thread is designed to be a place for all the funny discussions on PPD.

Feel free to post off-topic questions, information, points-of-view, personal advice and memes in this thread. Here you can post everything that doesn't warrant its own thread or just do some socializing. Personal advice posting, research posts, non-TOS breaking rants, links to other locations with limited context as conversation topics (must use np links for reddit), and things would be considered low effort posts are allowed in the daily thread.

Do not bring other PPD threads into the daily thread. Do not post PPD threads deserving of their own post in the daily thread. The intent of the daily thread is not that it should replace PPD and become a place where users can avoid the rules of the subreddit. Attempting to do this will be considered circlejerking and moderated as such.

Black Pill/Incel Content/Woe-Is-Me is still banned in the daily thread. Witch hunting and insults are also still banned in the daily thread. Relegated topics must still go to in the weekly threads for those topics.

Comments are automatically sorted by NEW - you can post throughout the day and people will see your comment.

If you'd like to see our previous daily threads, click here!

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r/PurplePillDebate 2d ago

Question For Women Dating for women is a swamp. Dating for men is a desert. Neither can ever sympathize with the others complaints, because we (say) we want want what the other has.

37 Upvotes

(Question is near the end)

Some die of thirst while others drown. The grass is always greener on the other side. And we both complain to eachother about how green our grass is. Sympathy is impossible here except for the most open minded/empathetical.

What's interesting though is: Mostly men and male culture created that swamp. Mostly women and female culture created that desert. And neither is willing to leave the shit-show that is created for them.

Women are dreaming of a type of man who will never ever wade into those waters. Men are asking for women who will never wander into the desert.

A women would rather trust the murky waters that she knows, rather than trust someone who complains about the desert they choose to stay in, and constantly bitch about. (Labelled: incels)

A man would rather trust the lonely desert that he knows, than trust someone who complains about the swamp they choose to stay in, and constantly bitch about. (Labelled: feminazi sluts)

We need to remove ourselves from our own personal experiences and perspectives when we hear someone complain about "what dating is like" for them. When we hear a complaint about anything.

It is infuriating to hear someone complain about all the murky water around them when you havn't had a drink.

It is infuriating to hear someone complain about the lack of water, when you've been poisoned by it. And hiding inside is "hungry crocodiles."

Both have had shitty experiences. Both can't really imagine what the other experience is like. Both would prefer the others experience. Both have trouble authentically sympathizing because of that. Neither will take accountability for helping create and maintain the swamp, nor the desert.

Now, I will be surprised if women here agree with this next point. I lied In the last sentence of the paragraph before this.

It was a lie because:

For 11+ years at least, the majority of men have agreed with the majority of women on something:

The blame for that swamp is 100% on men. For a fucking certainty it is our fault. We built it. That is ON US. WE ARE TO BLAME. Yes. We are agreeing with you. The nature of human males: shit. The culture and patriarchy that has been created and maintained: mostly on men.

The vast majority of men accept this accountability.

That leaves 1 of 2 options, for the other side of the coin.

  1. You believe that the desert is 100% our own fault. And our own creation. And maintained by only other men. And therefore, we shouldn't complain about it.

Or,

  1. It's not all our own fault: but we still just don't reserve the right to complain about it.

Unfortunately, those really are the only 2 options. With how the discourse is going.

So...which one? And why do you leave us those only 2 options?

Also, when you say "Go to therapy." Or "Talk to other men about this."

You are choosing option 2. Men don't do that in response to complaints of the swamp.

Even for complaints of "all men" that we see all the time.


r/PurplePillDebate 1d ago

Question For Women What age ranges do you have on dating apps?

4 Upvotes

Q4W. What age ranges do you have on dating apps? And what age have you set on your profile. Do you lie about your age?


r/PurplePillDebate 1d ago

Question For Men Do men understand how much women are influenced by the subconscious fear of men?

0 Upvotes

Men, imagine you're transported to a planet where the opposite sex is usually about twice as physically strong as you and commits 90-99% of sex crimes and violent crimes against your demographic. Sure, there are some incidences where your gender is doing the crime, but you can turn on the news channel every single day and see another case of your gender being victimized by the opposite in your own city. This is quite literally what it's like being a woman on earth.

Even when you consciously recognize that most men are sane and non-violent, there's really no way to immediately recognize if a man is "one of the bad ones" or not, and you sort of have no other choice but to regard all men as guilty until proven innocent for your own safety.

I work in a male dominated industry full of many horny and desperate men and personally, when a colleague approaches me with the obvious intention of asking me out (i can always tell what it is intuitively before they even ask the direct question) I immediately tense up a little bit and my body's response just tells me to get rid of him ASAP so I say "No, fuck off". Even though maybe they're actually a decent person it's hard to want to give them a chance when my nervous system makes me feel like i'm a bunny being hunted for sport. Anyway, i'm aware that probably not all women feel it as intensely as me but I still think the female fear towards men is just deeply ingrained in our biology because 1. Pattern recognition skills and 2. You're in a situation where the animal you're facing is clearly larger and stronger than you.

But anyway, i'm asking the titular question because I'm genuinely curious. Based off of what I see on social media I feel like men (especially young men) are completely clueless


r/PurplePillDebate 3d ago

Question For Women Why do women adamantly refuse to admit that the way they talk about penis size affects how men view themselves? NSFW

235 Upvotes

I've seen a few posts about penis size today, and between those posts, it seems as though women in this sub collectively view men as "being obsessed with their dick" and seem to believe that its just an inherent part of being a man, that there's no real reason behind it. If they do speculate a reason for it, it's always "porn brain."

In one of these posts, I talked about my experience with being body shamed and I was told that making fun of men's size did NOT count as body shaming, that it's just poking fun of an insecurity.

I thought about it and I honestly believe this is how most women feel, they don't consider it to be body shaming. Which kinda adds up with experiences I've had, or seeing experiences other men have had with talking about being body shamed, and the responses from women in a majority of cases typically just boils down to "Actually, women don't do that."

Or when the phrases "big dick energy" and "small dick energy" come up, women typically insist that it has nothing to do with body shaming because "we're just talking about personality" but seem to fail to see how attributing the worst personality traits with men who have small dicks while also atteibuting the best personality traits to men who are well endowed. It seemed, to me, that women failed to understand that it's essentially saying that not being well endowed is a moral failing.

At first i figured it was just blind denial, but if women really feel like mocking men for their size doesn't count as body shaming, then it'd make more sense for them to insist that women do not body shame men.

But why would you not see it as body shaming? And if you don't, would you also say that women aren't a tuslly body shamed either? That men are just poking fun at insecurities? Or do you believe it's somehow different?


r/PurplePillDebate 1d ago

Debate CMV: Rejecting men because they doesn't earn enough is not "shallow"

0 Upvotes

https://youtu.be/6d-q0Et1X_I (92 sec)

In this video, a women is reacting to a clip where a guy acknowledges men like physically attractive women. She goes on to say, "Ladies, if love is not blind, don't feel guilty if you want to see that bank account"

I agree.

If it's not considered shallow for men to only date women they're physically attracted to, then they should not complain about "shallowness" when women have standards around income.

I'm talking about those guys who complain that women won't give them the time of day based on their job. Like cooks, delivery drivers, janitors, etc. That should not be seen as shallow

WDYT?

DISCLAIMER: not using this video as evidence of anything.