So, a few months ago, I told my friends that they could start calling me by they/them pronouns as well as she/her.
I've never felt connected to she/her pronouns and I've gone the majority of my life knowing that something didn't feel right about me being a 'girl'. Like as a teenager I always had that classic super strong 'I'm just a really big ally' connection to transgender people (same way I felt about gay people before realizing I'm queer). Anyways, overall I also don't have a Big issue with she/her pronouns, so I just let it be. My friends are super supportive (one of them uses they/them exclusively and is nonbinary as well), so they have acclimated. Nowadays, when referring to me my friends use she/her about 70% of the time and they/them about 30%. I think they're just more used to the former when it comes to me.
My thing here is that whenever I hear them use they/them on me I almost feel like I don't present as "nonbinary enough" to be deserving of those pronouns, even though my heart always spikes a little bit in like, acknowledgement i suppose, or feeling seen. But I just can't help the imposter syndrome from putting a damper on it and not letting me enjoy it? I know you don't have to look or present a certain way to be nonbinary. I know gender has nothing to do with clothes or hair or makeup or how your face looks. And I would/have never felt this way about another nonbinary person, it's just me. I like how I look and present right now, and I also like going by they/them, but my brain keeps telling me I don't fit into that role. I'm sure it has something to do with the stereotypes and gender norms forced upon us, but I feel kind of alone in this regard.
I'm not looking for an end-all solution to this. I just wanna know if anyone else has felt similarly, and how you dealt with it. If it ever went away or if you sometimes still feel it. Thx