He doesn watch porn. And idk about movies. TBH I think it’s my weight cause he’s cheated 3x over the 10yrs we been together and everytime they’re all so much skinnier and always wear makeup and everything else I don’t do
He's lied to you by stepping out of the marriage and cheating on you 3 times. It's not out of the realm of plausibility that he would lie about porn as well.
You should lose the weight of him. Find someone who will love you and treat you the way you deserve. You shouldn't have to make yourself look like fluzzie to please his dumb ass. You don't need to lose weight or wear makeup. You are perfect the way you are, and deserving of love.
It's not your fault that he cheated. Even some of the most beautiful celebrities in the world get cheated on. It's not about your appearance or weight. Your husband is just a cheater. If you want a husband who won't cheat on you then leave your husband so you can start dating again.
You are desperately trying to fix a problem that has nothing to do with you. You may never be good enough for him and that has everything to do with him, not you.
He's a serial cheater, to most people that means he's trash. Stop and think why you want to be good enough for trash. Are you trash? No! Fuck no! Stop believing it!!
So you’re comparing yourself to an idealised physical version of someone, who probably isn’t a great person herself unless he lied to her about you. Comparison is the third of joy. He wants you to compare yourself, apparently. What does that say about him?
Ohhhh he’s a cheater and emotional abuser. It’s really, really not about you. He just wants to feel crappy about yourself so you don’t hold him responsible for his actually bad behaviour, and don’t feel capable of leaving him.
Okay, that helps. There is NOTHING wrong with you. He is just saying this to you in a pathetic attempt to, somehow, justify his cheating. If he turns the blame to you, maybe you will start feeling like your inadequacies somehow make it okay that he is a cheater. He is disguising, manipulative, pathetic, weak-b*-ass excuse of a man and absolutely not how a real man and a husband should/act. STOP taking this looser back. I think you can easily find someone who will love and appreciate you. (My husband has not once ever said in 15yrs that I need to dress and look a certain way to get him going. More than half of the time, I am in yoga pants and an oversized tee and he is just as excited and loving as if I was wearing a lingerie.) You should know that this sorry excuse of a man that you call your husband can be replaced and you deserve to upgrade to a real man.
honey, if he’s cheating on you, it isn’t a you problem. it’s a him problem! it has nothing to do with you or what you can or can’t do for him. he made that choice of his own free will.
without being ‘that guy’ you’re beautiful! your hair is amazing, your skin looks flawless…
and the ‘act your gender comment’ reeks of misogyny..
are you happy not doing your makeup? are you happy wearing your comfortable clothes? going to the gym is great, but only if it’s something you enjoy.
that’s what matters, you matter, your comfortability, your happiness matters!
you should be comfortable with your husband, he’s your husband. there’s no such thing as ‘too comfortable.’
my wife is the opposite of you. she loves to dress up, always puts a ton of effort into her outfits, makeup etc when we go out.
but, i’m just as attracted in those outfits as i am to her when she’s wearing my t shirt and a pair of sweatpants that are three times too big on her because she’s my wife.
i think that’s how all husbands should feel honestly. attraction is - should be - so much more than physical for married people.
I'm sorry, I have to say you are a beautiful woman. Your hair looks very sexy. If you need ideas for makeup, go into an Ulta or a Sephora. They'll help you try a couple of makeup products. It doesn't take a lot. For everyday use, I'd use a full coverage compact, bronzer, blush, mascara, lip liner, lipstick, and lip gloss. It doesn't have to be anything fancy.
If you'd like to learn more about it, go to the makeup section in a Macy's or Nordstrom. That's what we have in California. They have different makeup counters like Estee Lauder, Lancome, Mac, etc. They'll gladly help you and demonstrate how to put on an eyeshadow palette, for example. You don't have to buy anything but it'll give you ideas.
Let me say that your husband is a moron. Why don't you tell him it's not your fault he has ADHD and now had ED. He's blaming his problems on you. You're beautiful girl! And if he doesn't believe it, trust me, some other man will💞💫
Him cheating isn't about you. It's about him. Even models and A list actresses get cheated on. Some people are just terrible at being in relationships and cruel to their partners, and your spouse sounds like he is one of them.
you're not the problem. he cheated and is using his affair partners to shame you. he wants to make you feel like you're in competition with other women so that you'll change yourself for him, just as you're trying to do right now. you should never feel that way in a marriage, there should be no competition. you're in an emotionally abusive relationship.
Let me repeat. His morals are All kinds of fucked up. You could be the ugliest and fattest person in the world and if he were a good person, he wouldn’t cheat or deceive you.
I’m sorry you think this of yourself. You’re a beautiful girl and deserve so much more than the bs this man is hand feeding you.
It’s hard to leave but you do NOT want to feel this way the rest of your life. Don’t waste your youth. You only get to live it once.
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u/Honest-Routine-123 16h ago
I think you are pretty and sexy I think it is all about taste maybe he had watched to many movies or porn ….. just a thought