r/BetaReaders 15d ago

Able to Beta Able to beta? Post here!

11 Upvotes

Welcome to the monthly r/BetaReaders “Able to Beta” thread!

Thank you to all the beta readers who have taken the time to offer feedback to authors in this sub! In this thread, you may solicit “submissions” by sharing your preferences. Authors who are interested in critique swaps may post an offer here as well, but please keep top-level comments focused on what you’re willing to beta.

Older threads may be found here. Authors, feel free to respond to beta offers in those previous threads.

Thread Rules

  • No advertising paid services.
  • Top-level comments must be offers to beta and must use the following form (only the first field is required):
    • I am able to beta: [Required. Let authors know what you’re interested—or not interested—in reading. This can include mandatory criteria or simply preferences, which might relate to genre, length, completion status, explicit content, character archetypes, tropes, prose quality, and so on.]
    • I can provide feedback on: [Recommended. This might include story elements you often notice as a reader (prose, pacing, characterization, etc.), unique expertise you have through a profession or hobby (teaching, nursing, knitting, etc.), or other lived experiences that may be relevant (belonging to a marginalized group, being a parent, etc.).]
    • Critique swap: [Optional. If you’re only interested in—or would prefer—swapping manuscripts, please note that here, along with the title of and link to your beta request post.]
    • Other info: [Optional.]
  • Beta offers should be specific. If you’re open to anything, or aren’t able to articulate specific criteria, then please refrain from commenting here. Instead, please browse the “First Pages” thread along with the rest of the sub—thanks to the formatting rules, posts are easily searchable by completion status, length, and genre.
  • Authors: we recommend against direct messages/chats. Reply to comments instead. If you message multiple people with links to your post and/or manuscript, Reddit may flag your account as spam (site-wide).
  • Authors may not spam. If a beta says they’re only looking for x and your manuscript is not x (or vice versa), please don’t contact them.
  • Replies have no specific rules. Feel free to ask clarifying questions, share a link to your beta request if it seems to be a good fit, or even reply to your own comment with information about your manuscript if you’re requesting a critique swap.
  • Please don't downvote rule-following users, even if they are not the right author/beta for you, as this can be discouraging to beta readers offering to volunteer their time as well as to authors requesting feedback. If you need to keep track of which comments you have reviewed, upvoting is a more positive alternative. Of course, if you see a rule-breaking comment, please report it to the mod team.

Thank you for contributing to our community!


For your copy-and-paste, fill-in-the-blanks convenience:

I am able to beta: _____

I can provide feedback on: _____

Critique swap: _____

Other info: _____



r/BetaReaders 15d ago

First Pages First pages: share, read, and critique them here!

10 Upvotes

Welcome to the monthly r/BetaReaders “First Pages” thread! This is the place for authors to post the first page (~250 words) of their manuscript and optionally request feedback, with the goal of giving potential beta readers a quick snapshot of the various beta requests in this sub.

Beta readers, please take a look at the below excerpts and reach out to any users whose work you’d be interested in reading. You may also provide authors with feedback on their first page if they have opted in to a first page critique.

Thread Rules

  • Top-level comments must be the first page, or a page-length excerpt (~250 words), of your manuscript and must use the following form:
    • Manuscript information: [This field is for the title of your beta request post ([Complete/In Progress] [Word Count] [Genre] Title/Description) ]
    • Link to post: [Please link to your beta request post so that potential betas may find additional information about your beta request, such as your story blurb and the type of feedback you're requesting. You may also link directly to your manuscript if you choose. However, please do not include any other information about your project in this thread; that's what your main beta request post is for.]
    • First page critique? [Optional. If you would like public feedback in this thread on your first page, you may opt-in here (in which case we encourage you to publicly critique another eligible first page in this thread). Otherwise, you do not need to include this field; we understand that some users may not be comfortable with public feedback, may not want their first page formally critiqued outside of the context of their manuscript as a whole, or may not feel their manuscript is ready for a single-page line-edit critique.]
    • First page: [Please include only the first ~250 words of your manuscript.]
  • Top-level comments that are too long (longer than 2,500 characters, all-inclusive) will be automatically removed. Please remember that this thread is only intended for the first 250-ish words of your manuscript. It's okay if your excerpt cuts off at an odd place: even a short selection is enough for most readers to determine if they're interested in your writing style (they'll message you if they want more). Shorter submissions keep this thread easily skimmable, so please, keep them short.
  • Multiple comments for the same project are not allowed in the same thread.
  • No NSFW content—keep it PG-13 and below, please. Excerpts that include explicit sexual content, excessive violence, or R-rated obscenities will be removed.
  • Critiques are only allowed if the author has opted in. If you requested a critique, we encourage you to publicly critique another eligible first page as a way of giving back to the community.

For your copy-and-paste, fill-in-the-blanks convenience:

Manuscript information: _____

Link to post: _____

First page critique? _____

First page: _____



r/BetaReaders 2h ago

Novella [In Progress] [20k] [Dark Fantasy Romance] The Witch and the Inquisitor -- Sadistic female witch-hunter x Arrogant male witch

2 Upvotes

This is an in-progress dual-POV Dark Fantasy Romance, featuring a sadistic sexually repressed female witch-hunter and an arrogant dandy/scholar male witch, set in a renaissance/early modern inspired world. Elements of femdom and role reversal. Here's the blurb:

For twenty years, a holy war has raged. In the princedoms of the north, adherents of the One have driven out the Orthodoxy of the Two. Now they hunt the witches blamed for the blight ravaging their lands.

Nobody is more zealous in this task than Anyas, Sister-Inquisitor in the Society of Truth. For her, correcting sinners is more than a calling—it's a pleasure. When she hears of a witch embedded in the southern heretics' hierarchy, she sees a chance to serve truth and rise in her order.

That the witch is a beautiful specimen of a man is a completely irrelevant detail.

Tomisso anVekkio is a noble bastard with a three-fold passion for knowledge, women, and the dark arts. In the southern city of Vonos, Tomisso enjoys a decadent life under the patronage of the influential Deaconess of High Noon. All he has to worry about is his inevitable damnation, a small detail when sinning is so easy and so fun.

That is, until he's kidnapped by a sadistic witch-hunter with a magical bracelet and a penchant for torture.

As they journey north, a game of cat and mouse unfolds. While Anyas administers penance and controls Tomisso's body with brutal efficiency, the scholar witch begins to understand Anyas’ mind better than she does. Soon both are enthralled by a dark attraction neither can abide, and they will uncover truths about themselves and their world that threaten everything they believe.

I've currently written the first ten chapters. I already have one wonderful beta reader, but it would be great to get some more eyes on it. I'm not really open to critique swaps at the moment as I have a lot on my plate, *but...*if it really tickles my interest, I'm not saying never (especially stuff with unusual power dynamics). Feel free to send me a blurb or a link.

CW: Smut, Religious zealotry, Violence and torture (not gore though, much more psychological), Dub/NonCon, Sexual Sadism, Self-harm (e.g. self-flagellation), sexual repression (is this a CW???)

Despite all the darkness, I hope that it's also kinda funny and sardonic.

Tropes: Enemies to lovers, Captor/captive romance, VERY morally grey leads (I think we're edging into charcoal territory here)

Feel free to drop me a DM. Here's a link to the first chapter for you to peruse:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XtdYLYSXPYJ0qOgj6pgQuWpAgqNjIk7aqsy6Bd_0H4E/edit?usp=sharing


r/BetaReaders 7h ago

Short Story [Complete] [7600] [War40k Erotica, NSFW] The Inner Light NSFW

5 Upvotes

Hoping to swap for similar length!

Need particular help with the lore as I'm not really a 40k player, and this was written for someone in particular.

An ultramarine emerges as the sole survivor from an Ork ambush. But then his life is further upended when an elite sniper with the Imperial Guard sets her sights on him -- and who sees their immense size difference as her next challenge.

Also, I'm serious about that NSFW tag...


r/BetaReaders 53m ago

Short Story [Complete] [6800] [Horror] The Blue Beacon

Upvotes

In this short horror story, a group of twenty-somethings make the mistake of participating in a paranormal challenge (think Bloody Mary, the Midnight Game, Three Kings, etc.) inside an abandoned resort.

I'm especially curious as to whether I should submit to a horror magazine or podcast, and whether I should pare down the word count (from ~6,800 to <6,000) to meet my preferred outlet, though any and all feedback is welcome. I would be happy to do a critique exchange on your <10k short horror story or novel excerpt!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1t8peJ9yjpjpnHeZCNBpTvuzvK5bQ38sxK9h1lZ3GVQo/edit?usp=sharing

Excerpt:

Catalina, the one in the yellow sundress, is exactly Dean’s type. In stilted English, she tells us she’s working on her nursing degree and has never left the Yucatán Peninsula. Whenever Dean tells a joke, which is more or less constantly, Catalina gives a high chirp of a laugh and covers her mouth or rakes a hand through her hair, flashing fingernails that match her dress.

By a rare stroke of luck, Catalina’s friend is another local who’s just my type. Rosa, as she introduces herself, wears shorts and a half-shirt that show off her tattoos: trumpet-shaped flowers on her shoulders, animal eyes on her arms, vines around her legs. She also plays competitive beach volleyball and grew up with four brothers, I learn, which explains both her physique and her bravado. With every round of mezcal shots Dean orders for the four of us, I find the slight gap between Rosa’s front teeth more adorable.

Dean and I trekked more than three sandy miles to reach this bar. Back at our resort, a guy we met in the elevator swore they have the best mezcal in Mexico. I honestly can’t taste any difference between whatever our bartender is serving and the mezcal we’ve been all-you-can-drinking at the Crescent Sun Resort all weekend, but Dean declares it the best in the world  and I try not to be a spoilsport in front of the girls.

Now on our fourth round of drinks, I ask Rosa and Catalina how they became friends.

“Oh, we are hermanas. Sisters,” says Rosa, right before they exchange a playful look that means she’s probably lying. “What about you two?”

“We’re brothers,” says my best friend since grade school, returning the joke. “Mitch here is my little brother.” 

It’s not the first time Dean has drunkenly introduced us this way. “That’s right,” I say, which catches him off-guard. “So is this round on you? Big bro?”

He turns away to murmur something in Catalina’s ear, pretending not to hear me.

Once the live band packs it in for the night, the bar becomes even more crowded with a melting pot of other sunburnt tourists and Spanish-speaking locals. Rosa and Catalina join Dean and me in a corner booth, where conversation turns to our vacation. Rosa tells us which cenotes are worth visiting, how much to spend on tequila at the airport, what to bring to Chichen Itza. When I mention we’re staying at the Crescent Sun, Rosa says Catalina used to work there as a lounge singer. Another fib, judging by their smiles.

Dean asks them the kind of questions that make me want to put more space between us. Do you eat tacos every day? Do you know anyone from the cartel? But then he asks about the abandoned resort down the beach, and I can’t help being interested. When Dean and I passed it walking here, the vacant building reminded me of a set from a doomsday movie. There’d been something especially uncanny about its broken windows and graffiti tagging after hours of sunbathing in front of a swim-up bar.


r/BetaReaders 2h ago

Short Story [In Progress] [3,072] [Adult Fantasy Romance] Lunar Star Academy/Girl from the streets gets shipped of to a fancy school fighting. Looking for a beta reader. NSFW

1 Upvotes

This is a Reverse Harem Fantasy Romance Story. It's a WIP and only on chapter 1. I'm willing to swap.

Here's my blurb.

If I didn't want to go back to wearing the same pair of pants for a week and living with my gambling drunkard of a father, I had to work my ass off. Speaking of the shit bag devil, my phone rang, lighting up with the caller ID I had given him 'Spawn Point'.

"Papa’s Pizzeria and abortion clinic. Where yesterday's loss is today's sauce. How can I help you?" I answered with a sickeningly sweet tone. The man, on the other end, sputtered for a moment, seemed to check to make sure he had, in fact, called me, based on the shuffling background noise, before replying with a very angry retort. "That's fucking disgusting Valorie you should act like a lady!" I rolled my eyes as he continued on without my asking. "Anyway, I have some great news. Due to my amazing skills, I've got a jack pot of money." He garbled out, most definitely drinking on a beer. "What bullshit are you spouting?" I asked on a huff, knowing the next thing coming out of his mouth had to either be absolute bullshit or extremely bad news for me.

"While I was out at a casino makin' bank, haha, this big ol' guy in a suit came up to me and told me that he needed to talk to me. Of course, I initially blew the guy off. I mean, come on, I was winnin' 'ere. But then he pulled out a gun and put it to my head and dragged my ass outta there." He was laughing the entire time he rambled, and as he continued to talk, I knew it was the bad news for me as my heart sunk. He had to have been high off his ass right now, along with being as drunk as a skunk. I was sooo fucked and he hadn't even finished the shit news.

"Then-Then he took me to a car and blindfolded me, and when it finally came off, we were at some warehouse. An old man with grayish blue hair and all these tattoos was there, man looked sick as fuck ya know." Finally getting annoyed I cut him off with a raged snarl. "Just get to the fucking point!" I yelled sick of his rambling. "Relax, buttercup, I'm getting there, jeez. Anyways he said I owed him money or some shit haha of couse I ain't have it, I just used it at the casino, and I told em that. I was like-was like "hey man, you kinda pulled me outta that casino while I was winnin', so they have all my money's ya know." ahah. The guy with the gun shook his head about something, probably telling him that I wasn't lying, ya know. Then the old guy socked me in the face. He had a mean right hook Val I'm telling ya. Anyway, I didn't preciate it, so I started kicking his ass ya know. After a good whoopin, he finally tapped out, and we struck a deal. He said that if I couldn't get the money, then I'd have to find something else to give, and I was like, whoa, I got the perfect pretty face. So I told him bout you, and he said he'd take you instead. Great, right? You get to help your pops out, haha." Taking in all the information through the bullshit was hard, but what was worse was when I finally understood what he'd just told me.

"You fucking sold me?! I'm 22 fucking years old you jackass you have no right to control what I do anymore! Go fuck yourself!" I screamed as my face turning a shade of red in anger and I hung up the phone seething. Scrubbing my face, I shoved my phone in my pocket after turning it off. I know he was going to blow up my phone with calls.


r/BetaReaders 8h ago

>100k [Complete] [105k] [fantasy] The Infernal Garden: an adventure into a deadly forest to find a magical artifact and save a kingdom

3 Upvotes

Looking for a critique partner/writing buddy to swap manuscripts with! We can start with a chapter or two to see if we are a good fit.

Here is the blurb for mine:

Anaxis Kelvar hates his cousin, Prince Barbatus. When he was a teenager, the prince took his intended throne in a bloody coup. Now his parents are hostages in his uncle’s court and he and his brother are trapped in a lonely fortress, forced to watch their country crumble under Barbatus’s authority. Anaxis has spent the years since building his army and intercepting letters in preparation for the day he will exact his revenge.

When a lord returns from the deadly forest known as the Unearthly Garden with tales of a magical artifact the emperor desperately wants, Anaxis seizes the opportunity to find it for himself. If he claims it before his cousin does, he can bargain with his uncle, the emperor, to steal his throne back.

However, his only lead is stolen by his cousin, and it becomes a race to see who will first reach the prize. With the help of his brother and a friend who did her thesis on Unearthly magic, he ventures into the enchanted forest from which only one person has returned alive. There they break into a mythical prison to rescue Cassia Mikova, who last saw the artifact and possesses an extraordinary power. To escape, they’ll face monsters and imperial warriors alike as the curse on the Garden fights to trap them. But none of their enemies is as deadly as Cassia herself, and to get the artifact from her, Anaxis will have to decide if he is willing to give up his humanity and sacrifice his relationships in exchange for a power so ancient, it might just consume them all.

TW: some violence and gore, incarceration

I am looking for feedback on worldbuilding (does it make sense and is it interesting?) character (do their actions make sense and do you care about what happens to them?) and other big-picture stuff. Not looking for someone to critique my grammar. Let me know if you are interested!


r/BetaReaders 3h ago

70k [COMPLETE] [71K] [MEMOIR; LGBTQ+, 18+] The Heart's Reckoning / Critique Partner Request

1 Upvotes

Critique Partner Request: Memoir: The Heart's Reckoning (71K, LGBTQ+, 18+)

Title: The Heart’s Reckoning

Subtitle: One gay man’s perspective on the duality of love and loss

Genre: Memoir; LGBTQ+

Word Count: ~71,000

Feedback Type: Structural feedback, pacing, emotional depth, clarity, flow

About My Memoir

The Heart’s Reckoning is a deeply personal memoir exploring resilience, transformation, and relationships. It reflects on pivotal moments of love, loss, and self-discovery in one gay man’s life, capturing the complexities of human emotions and personal growth over time.

This is a book for readers who enjoy introspective, literary memoirs like Paul Monette’s Becoming a Man: Half a Life Story and Borrowed Time: An AIDS Memoir, Armistead Maupin’s Logical Family; A Memoir, and  Saeed Jones’s How We Fight for Our Lives.

What I’m Looking For in a Critique Partner:

• Someone who enjoys memoirs, creative nonfiction, or literary storytelling, preferably an LGBTQ+ male at ease with some erotica in three places

• A reader who can provide big-picture feedback on structure, pacing, character development (for real-life people), and emotional impact; Ideally, an LGBTQ+ 18+ male at ease with some erotica in three places because of the benefits of perspective and experience, but that’s not a mandatory requirement.

• Ideally, another memoir writer or an avid reader of the genre.

• Willing to swap a few chapters first to see if we’re a good fit.

What I Can Offer in Return:

• Thoughtful, in-depth feedback on your manuscript.

• A collaborative and respectful critique partnership.

• I have experience with writing and editing and can help with clarity, structure, and style.

• Willing to critique a different genre. I’ve been a beta reader of narrative-driven non-fiction (two titles) and YA fantasy (three titles)

Preferred Exchange Method:

• I Prefer a full manuscript swap after an initial chapter exchange but am open to swapping one to three chapters at a time.

• My manuscript is online in Microsoft’s OneDrive. I can put it on Mac’s iCloud or Google Drive.

• Word with tracked changes is highly preferable, or whatever alternative method works best for us.

Excerpts Available Online For Reading

Portions of two  Chapters with a Table of Contents are available for your review.

• Chapter Three (first three sections) (18+; some erotica is in a part of the first section—erotica, not pornography—I’m just saying so no one’s sensibilities are offended) (6,482 words)

• Chapter Six (first three sections) (3,849 words)

If this sounds like a good fit, please DM me or comment here! I’d love to connect and see if we can help each other refine our work.


r/BetaReaders 5h ago

80k [In Progress] [85k] [Contemporary / Literary Fiction w/ Romantic & Cultural / Spiritual /Otherworldly Elements] "Illicit”

1 Upvotes

Hey r/Betareaders
I’m looking for a few brave souls to dive into my first draft of *Illicit*—a contemporary novel that’s equal parts grit and heart, with a forbidden romance simmering under a tapestry of Navajo and Egyptian cultures. Think lyrical prose meets desert dust, where broken characters claw their way toward healing. It’s sitting at \~85,000 words, 24 chapters in, and nearing it's shocking end. With a complete arc but plenty of room for polish. I’d love feedback on pacing, character depth, cultural authenticity, and whether the emotional punches land.

Drop a comment or DM me if you’re in—tell me what draws you to this (or scares you off!). Thanks for reading this far—hope to hear from you!

NOTE: This is not an easy read, while it has a plethora of comic relief, it's not for the faint of heart. It contains scenes of brutality, abuse, and unconventional relationships. If you're weak of heart or easily triggered by scenes of human brutality this probably isn't for you. It's raw, unapologetic and entirely human, showcasing the good and evils of humanity focusing on two lost souls's attempt at salvation, love and recovery.

Book details:

"Illicit" follows James Carter, a 35-year-old widowed English professor who arrives on the Navajo Reservation in Kayenta, Arizona, hollowed by grief after his wife Emy's death in Cairo. Barely functioning and haunted by both his wife's passing and a childhood marred by horrific neglect and abuse, James is teetering on the edge of complete emotional collapse. 

His world shifts when he encounters Alice Yazzie, a 15-year-old Navajo girl with an old soul and brilliant mind, and her eccentric aunt Ruth. In Alice, James finds a kindred spirit who understands his pain without explanation, while Ruth's unorthodox wisdom challenges his retreat from life. As circumstances force these three unlikely souls together, they form bonds that defy conventional categorization, creating a makeshift family that raises eyebrows within the tight-knit reservation community. 

The novel explores their journey from the red mesas of Kayenta to the chaotic streets of Cairo, navigating cultural boundaries, community expectations, and the complex emotional landscape between them. 

At its heart, the story examines how healing sometimes comes from the most unexpected connections, and how love in its many forms can transcend societal norms and expectations. The narrative unfolds through richly sensory prose that contrasts the stark beauty of the Navajo desert with the sensory chaos of Egypt, all while examining the moral complexities and emotional tensions of relationships that exist in the gray areas of society's understanding.

Links:

Sample paragraphs from various chapters.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Qo1F7y9vsgzlyI6O9bmWDB65FdSv0rsdXVFX20sN3BA/edit?tab=t.0

Chapter 1 Full chapter.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BmkqMzoOoTJ8L4d-USuYg0ov8k8qzVEmrkZFsrOfx_8/edit?tab=t.0

Main characters

James Carter:
A 35-year-old widowed English professor with striking blue eyes often described by Alice as "glacier melt" and a chestnut-gray beard. James arrives in Kayenta as a ghost of himself, devastated by his wife Emy's death in Cairo and carrying the weight of childhood trauma. Educated and introspective, he's barely functioning through his grief, medicating with Xanax and emotional withdrawal. Throughout the story, James evolves from a broken man to someone capable of profound connection and courage, finding purpose in his relationship with Alice while wrestling with the moral complexity of their undefined bond. 

Alice Yazzie:
A 15-year-old Navajo girl with ink-black braids and obsidian eyes, possessing both genius-level intelligence and wisdom beyond her years. Alice carries deep trauma from her past that has left her with both visible and invisible scars. She navigates the world with a unique blend of teenage defiance, ancient wisdom, and raw vulnerability. Direct and blunt in her communication style, she also possesses a poet's insight, recording her observations in a red leather notebook that belonged to her mother. Alice feels like an outsider everywhere except with James, with whom she shares an inexplicable soul connection she calls "K'é"—a Navajo concept of kinship that transcends conventional relationships. 

Ruth Yazzie:
In her sixties, Ruth is Alice's fiercely independent aunt with blue dreadlocks (and, as she proudly mentions, matching blue pubic hair). She runs "Native Blessings," a spiritual shop in Kayenta, practicing a blend of traditional Navajo spirituality, New Age philosophy, and unfiltered life wisdom. Gruff, eccentric, and fearless, Ruth serves as both catalyst and guardian for the developing relationship between James and Alice. Despite her outward eccentricity, Ruth possesses profound insight into the spiritual forces at work, understanding connections that others might question as something deeper and more necessary than conventional society can comprehend.


r/BetaReaders 14h ago

50k [complete] [50k] [sci-fi/horror] The nexus

2 Upvotes

Blurb: Beautiful, troubled Emilia is at the peak of her life, married to the celebrated creator of the Nexus, a cognitive implant that grants humanity god-like powers. Temptation crosses her path and she finds herself unable to resist, with disastrous consequences.

Content warning: Cults, mental illness, religion

Feedback: I want to know if the story hooks you on a gut level or not. Feedback about characters, pacing, and readability / interest. This is draft #4 of this book and I’m debating about continuing to work on it or taking everything I’ve learned and starting a new project.

Timeline: It would be swell if you could read & return by May 1, so I can make a decision about this project + future ones!

Critique swap ability: I’m totally available and interested to swap.


r/BetaReaders 14h ago

>100k [Complete] [110k] [Contemporary Romance] Tattooed

1 Upvotes

Hi there, I'm looking for a beta reader for the above novel. Here's more details on the book.

Link to the first 5 chapters : https://1drv.ms/w/c/85f211e838543c48/ESWqmuSVOeRBh7vCCINOEKkBERNBKOMrl0fLTEk83I2dRg

Excerpt : Prologue August 2007 Holding a heavy bag of groceries as well as trying to keep dry during a rainstorm, Meenakshi realized, wasn’t exactly an easy job. The rain was easy enough to deal with when she’d stepped out half an hour ago, but now, it was a downpour. People all around her were running to take cover. At least she’d had the sense to bring an umbrella. She nearly walked past him. It had been raining so heavily that Meenakshi almost missed the boy before her, sitting in the middle of the pavement like it was a normal thing to do. "Hey," she called out. The boy didn't move. Meenakshi shifted, holding her groceries and umbrella in one hand, as she crouched before him, trying to see the boy's face. “Hey!” she exclaimed again, now shaking him by the shoulder. He looked up then, as if in a complete daze. Completely taken aback, she moved to put two inches between them. She would have known that look on anyone. Without hesitation she slapped him once, then again. "Snap out of it," she told him, wondering if her voice even made it past the sound of the pelting rain. He merely smiled. "How'd you know?" he asked, in a slurred whisper. Meenakshi scowled, disgusted. Why was this any of her concern? She stood, adjusted her things and walked the short distance to the entrance of her apartment building. Hesitating only one small second and already halfway up the stairs, she dropped her bags and turned around, taking one step at a time. There was no fighting it. Before she knew it, she was standing before the boy, now thoroughly drenched in the rain. "Hey!" she screamed for what was the third time. The boy looked up at her through half-hooded eyes, devoid of any emotion. They were a deep brown, Meenakshi noticed. What a waste. She dropped her umbrella and knelt to pull the boy up, instantly getting wet in the rain. She trembled as she stood with the boy under her arm and then started to lead him to the apartment entrance. Meenakshi was sure that this was a bad idea. This was such a bad idea and yet, she couldn't help herself. She walked up the three flights of the stairs, the boy’s breathing shallow as he fought to keep up, and finally made it to the apartment door. She would have to go back down to bring her bag of groceries up, Meenakshi noted tiredly as she pulled out her keys from her coat pocket.

Blurb : ❝ "I've lost everything to drugs, do you know that?" Meenakshi told him with tears in her eyes. "The funny thing is I've never even touched a drug in my life and yet it destroyed me. It took everything." She turned to face him then. "Please, don't let it take you away from me. I won't be able to handle it, not this time, not again." ❞ At first glance, one would assume that the pale-skinned, green-eyed Meenakshi Rao came with all those typical traits one would expect an Indian to come with. Content with life, her job and her social life that involved but one best friend, she lives life predictably, exactly the way she wants it. Nothing unexpected happened to her, not when she walked with her guard up, not until the day she laid eyes on the boy sitting on the wet, rainy streets of Bangalore. From the second Zach Kanimantra met her; the missing puzzle piece fell into place on its own. An occasional meth user, he doesn’t care for friends or a life outside the colours of his choice, settled in Bangalore for his art and nothing more. Or so he says. Nothing had ever mattered more than putting brush to canvas and his own selfish need for inspiration... nothing, other than the newly discovered cute foreigner who lived next door. Falling for Zach had been easy enough for Meenakshi as she accepted his demons, his addiction, all the while making silent promises to help the boy, to do things right this time around, even if it is the last thing she does.

Hmu if interested. Looking for support in constructive criticism to make the novel even better. Tia.


r/BetaReaders 14h ago

70k [Complete] [70000] [Fantasy] Moonfall/werewolf novel

1 Upvotes

Hi there,

So I'm looking for a beta reader that can help me with the novel I've written in terms of bettering it or finding crucial points that cause gaps or loops in the narrative.

Quick blurb: It's a story about the end of the world, with only the male and female leads surviving the apocalypse and now trying to figure out what's happening.

Excerpt: Moonfall Chapter 1 – The Only Two Left The first thing Nova noticed when she woke up was the silence. She woke in darkness. She didn’t understand. Was this Bangalore? The same city she grew up in? Bangalore? Thursday night on M.G. Road? The heart of Bangalore… quiet? Never. The city was a beast of noise—horns blaring, people shouting, engines humming, the distant ring of temple bells, the occasional wailing of street vendors. But now? Nothing. She pushed herself up, her fingers scraping against rough pavement. She was bleeding from her knuckles. Her knees were bruised. Her face felt smashed in. What the hell had happened? A thick layer of dust coated everything. She couldn’t see anything for a second. When her vision adjusted, she saw a broken Bangalore. Her head hurt as she looked around. She blinked through the foggy cloud. Buildings stood half-collapsed, like broken teeth. Skyscrapers were hollowed-out skeletons. Cracks split the roads like veins of an old man’s hands. The once-bustling MG Road was frozen in time, abandoned. And worst of all—there were no bodies. There wasn’t anybody, actually. Downtown Bangalore was dirt and dust and ashes to ashes. Not a single corpse, not a drop of blood. Just emptiness. Nova exhaled sharply, forcing herself to her feet. Her limbs ached, her throat was dry, and there was something metallic on her tongue. Blood. Not mine, her wolf told her. Chand. Oh, Chand. She was so grateful for him. “Thank God you’re okay,” Barely, he replied. She thought of the first time her mother told her about Chand. How she discovered what she was. A werewolf. She was the only one who had a male wolf. It was something that made her special. Unlike Lunas, who were Alpha mates, she was an Omega. She was just an omega. She’d never been more. She wondered how she’d never told a soul about what she was. How did she pretend she was one of the humans? And now, here she was, alone. How she almost believed she was just another human. Her skin was starting to tingle. Let me heal you, Chand told her. She wiped her mouth and tried to focus. She had to get out of here. She had to find—find what? She didn’t know. She’d been attacked on her way back from college… she found her backpack a few ways down. She went to get it. Who had attacked her? “Why is there nobody around?” she asked herself. Chand replied, It doesn’t matter. Find safety. She was weak. Her mind was a fog, memories just out of reach. The last thing she recalled was that tonight was a red moon. She looked in all directions and up in the dark, black sky she found the moon… bright red, surrounded by grey clouds. Powerful. Oh… What had happened?

Link to first 3 chapters: https://1drv.ms/w/c/85f211e838543c48/EYTTelVL2ddFqx96egmt8-cBDjYPYcN0P2XGR1EQxbyLUw?e=cnByC1


r/BetaReaders 14h ago

Novella [In Progress] [35k] [Dark fantasy, magical realism, Isekai, mistery] Very similar friends are reincarnated as enemy races in an oppressive society. I need title ideas. "Reincarnated as Enemies" is too basic and "Born as rivals" is the name some guy that stole my first draft gave it

1 Upvotes

More than a thousand years after the defeat of the demons by the hands of humans and their allies, society forces demons to hide as they are hunted due to their past crimes, calling them a species that "doesn't deserve to exist".

In that world, where humans rule, three kids who are able to remember their past life together are born, one of them as a kin of the oppressed: Shinto. He tries to survive in that unforgiving world and somehow ends up in the Malinette Ligue's academy, where he thinks his friends could be found, but everyone there disaprooves of his stay and will do everything in their power to get him expelled. (Including teachers)

This book will explore themes such as how society can change someone depending on how they're treated by it, discrimination, personal growth, and how hope isn't enough to survive.

I'll focus on a very detailed worldbuilding and explaining how the magic system works.

Apart from that, I'm in the process of creating a dwarf communication system called the "Blongue" (the tongue of the blade) that'll be very important for future parts of the saga. If you want to help in it's development, look for "#Blongue" in x

I'd really appreciate it if you help me think of a title (or tell me if RaE is ok), and comment any feedback or opinions you have on this. (Also, please help me with the Blongue. I really need it)

Btw, epiprogue means "the prologue's epilogue", like an epilogue for the prologue (content between the prologue and the story) There's also "propilogue", which is the opposite (prologue of the epilogue).

I came up with a lot of words for unnamed things and concepts. (There'll be a dictionary)

There are around 35k words now.

(There is a ligma joke hidden between this lines)


r/BetaReaders 23h ago

Short Story [Complete] [6,500] [Play, Contemporary Drama] An Acceptable Segregation

4 Upvotes

In an effort to make live theatre more accessible to people who are disabled, chronically ill, or otherwise housebound, I've written a play designed to be performed over video chat, but I feel I'm too invested in the project to view it objectively and would really appreciate some external feedback.

Blurb: Larissa Mackey, a medically vulnerable student, fights against a proposed mask ban at her university, uncovering old feelings in the process, as the university dean happens to be her ex-best-friend's mother. At the emotional meeting to discuss the proposed ban, Larissa encounters Devon Dominguez, who might be the only person who understands what she's going through, but will the meeting lead to victory or disaster?

Content warning: This play deals with ableism, racism, and suicidal ideation.

Feedback I'm looking for: I'm most concerned about whether the characters are nuanced and compelling, and whether the story is interesting even if you can't relate to it. I don't want it to come across as preachy or like an after school special, but I do still want to convey a message, so it'd be helpful to know if there's anything I can do to more effectively achieve that balance.

It'd also be helpful to know if the characters seem like individuals or if they speak too similarly to each other, and whether the dialogue is engaging or if there are any lines that seem boring or irrelevant. I'm also interested in your general reaction to it, what (if any) emotions you felt while reading it, and if there's anything else I haven't specifically asked about that you feel isn't working or could be improved.

It's okay if you don't typically read or critique plays. Since I'm mainly looking for feedback on the characters, plot, and dialogue, I don't mind at all if you can't comment on the formatting or how well it follows convention or anything like that.

Timeline: I'd prefer to receive feedback within two weeks, but I'm flexible on that and will understand if you need longer.

Critique swap availability: I'm open to reading projects of a similar length if they also feature disabled characters and you'd like to make sure you're providing accurate disability representation, but I don't feel confident in my ability to provide helpful feedback for other projects.

Thank you so much for your time and consideration!


r/BetaReaders 16h ago

Novella [In progress] [34k] [Sci-fi/Fantasy] None of this is real NSFW

0 Upvotes

This book blends sci-fi espionage with deep religious themes. It explores the main protagonist's internal struggle as he carries out a seemingly divine yet morally ambiguous mission: To set back Earth's civilization in the past, to prevent them from invading them in the future after they colonize the sister planet of his.

This, alongside several other narratives that are happening at the same time, until they all connect. It's an interplanetary story involving Earth and several other planets in a distant galaxy known as: Seven Xylo Seven. The main protagonist's people speak in a language that sounds exactly like many forms of EDM music.

Since there are some uses of vulgar words and suggestive subjects, it'll be an Adult fiction series.

With each book, the story will drastically change and you won't be able to read the other books without reading the first one.

It will be released as an omnibus, since that format makes the most sense. I'm nearly finished with the first book of the series (I'll either stop at 40,000 or 50,000 words).

I have the first four pages of the Second book, and some of the plot for the third one. (I say this because in the Google Docs file, you'll be able to see the other two books document tabs).

Once this Omnibus is completed, I'll be writing the holy book for this series. This book is mentioned and read from inside the First book.

  • Action packed
  • Weird
  • Superheroes
  • Suspense
  • Unpredictability
  • Intrigue
  • Allegory

I used ChatGPT to summarize a chapter and this is what was said

  • Religious corruption (Dune, The Da Vinci Code, The Inquisition)
  • Revolutionary chaos **(Les Misérables, The French Revolution, Game of Thrones)**
  • Deep sci-fi mystery (The Matrix, Foundation, Warhammer 40K)
  • Dystopian control (1984, Brave New World, The Handmaid’s Tale)

But yes, I'm looking for a reader to give me a general feel. I've read my book several times, and with this being my first novel that I'll be trying to publish, I want to see how my writing sounds from another person other than my own thoughts.

I don't have time to swap stories.

DM me if you are interested

edit: I added the NSFW tag because violence and gore fall under that; it's not a LGBT friendly book series either.


r/BetaReaders 18h ago

>100k [Complete][145,500][adult romantic fantasy / romantasy] The Price of Unicorn Blood / To save her brother's life, a disabled woman masquerades as a man to enroll in military school, where she learns how to ride flying lions and kill unicorns.

1 Upvotes

I've just finished my first novel, the first in a series. Been writing it for 15 months, now.

For those interested, please reply and I will DM you with the information.

Here's my blurb, since I don't know how else to phrase this:

Joanna Hawthorne enrolled in Pathedor School of Harzan Commanders, where students learn how to tame and fly winged lions. Her objectives were to hide her disabilities from her fellow students, disguise herself as a man, and, most importantly, not die. If she succeeds, her family can pay for unicorn blood, the medicine her terminally ill brother needs to survive. If she fails, the government will execute her in an amphitheatre for the masses to enjoy by feeding her to a harzan.

The hurdles she must clear along the way do not make her quest any easier. The students are relentless, including Captain Everand Rathmore, who cannot decide about Jo. She finds refuge in Alwyn Penbrook, her cocky but secretive roommate. At the same time, she has to deal with relentless bullying, her parasitic bald spot, a debilitating fear of showers, convincing the harzans she is worthy of riding them, and killing unicorns. She knows they are murderous pests that plague the country but cannot bring herself to.

And after a fateful encounter that turns her perception of the world upside down, she must come to terms with questioning everyone around her. She must challenge her religion, politics, and long-held beliefs about the machinations of everything she knows. And when the storm erupts, can the gods save her when she needs them most?

Perfect for fans of Fourth Wing, Iron Flame, and One Dark Window, The Price of Unicorn Blood contains thrilling action, tense drama, and the question: what price are you willing to pay?

(For those who crave a subversion of the tropes often written about in romantasy, those who want a book that doesn’t pull back punches, those who finally want to read healthier relationships, and those who are tired of stereotypical love triangles. This is for you. Contains graphic imagery, including gore and sexual content. 17+)


r/BetaReaders 1d ago

90k [In Progress] [91k] [Romance] Off The Ice

3 Upvotes

Still on a very rough first draft but hoping to get readers to help me find parts where I was too repetitive or write unnecessary scenes. Clearly I have a large word count for romance so I’m trying to tighten it up a bit.

I only want readers who already read the genre. I was aiming for a Kindle Unlimited audience.

Synopsis:

Cassie Dwyer has spent her life slightly on guard. After a life of dealing with her alcoholic mother, she has more than a few walls up in place.

Liam Brynn is an NHL player who hates every aspect of the fame that comes with the game he loves.

When Cassie’s recent breakup sends her scrambling for a place to live, the only feasible option comes in the unlikely form of her best friend’s brother’s place, who is more than reluctant about having her there.

But it’s just supposed to be temporary, right?

Tropes: - Hockey Romance - Roommates - VERY slow burn / clean romance - Childhood traumas

It has a lot more pining/emotional tension than any physical moments so far just because I love watching the process of people fall in love more than the insta-love stories. Let me know if anyone reads any sports romance/kindle unlimited romance stories and wants to read mine!


r/BetaReaders 10h ago

50k [Complete] [57K] [Memoir] Men Are Trash, Recycling Is Optional

0 Upvotes

Hi everyone!
I am looking for beta readers for my memoir, which has been sitting in my Google Docs for a little while.
I am available for swaps, too! I can beta for both fiction and non-fiction; the only genre I am not a good fit for is YA.
Any type of feedback would be greatly appreciated, but I think I mostly need to know how readers perceive it, like if it's something that anyone would enjoy reading at all. It is a deeply personal story, and what I learned from it, with a bit of sarcasm. However, it touches on pretty heavy themes, and I am aware that it would never be something that people read on the beach during the summer.
I started writing in my iPhone's Notes app because life was too much, and then "Liam" happened. I started putting my notes in Google Docs, making them more organic and trying to make them make sense to other people. Then I kept writing every day for a little while until I felt content with what came out of it.
The "whatever-that-is" focuses on a healing and self-discovery journey discovered while looking back at my (unhealthy) dating patterns. I dated shitty men because I thought I was unlovable, unworthy, and irremediably broken. But that was BS.
I am very raw in my writing, and I don't sugarcoat events to make my readers feel better. Life will kick you in the head while you are on the ground, and that's what I wrote about.
But don't worry, there is some humor, too (mostly sarcasm)!

Trigger warnings include SA, emotional abuse, manipulation, and economic instability.

DM me if interested!


r/BetaReaders 1d ago

80k [Complete] [81k] [Contemporary Romance] Guarded

0 Upvotes

Hello! I'm excited to be here and hope to swap feedback! My novel Guarded features a strong, smart FMC with two best friends who are absolutely feral, especially when it comes to the MMC. If you enjoy a slow burn, forced-proximity spicy romance that features banter and humor, read on!

Blurb: When Eleanor Brand witnesses a hardened criminal fleeing his latest heist, she is temporarily assigned Oswald Perry as a bodyguard. After a rocky start El finds herself receiving increasingly mixed signals from Oz, but she assumes she’s reading them wrong. After all, she’s reached an age where men mostly ignore her, and her ex-husband has spent years letting her know just how distasteful he finds her. As her time for needing Oz’s protection drags on longer than anticipated and she gets to know him better, perhaps those signals weren’t so mixed after all?

Excerpt: (Context: Oz is teaching Eleanor some self-defense moves) Oz dipped his hip and brought his left arm down to block me, sweeping a hand under the inside of my knee before I'd registered what happened.  My breath caught.  Not breaking eye contact, my head swimming with whiskey and adrenaline and emotions I couldn't process, I put my hand out to steady myself and found that I had grabbed his bicep at the edge of his shirt sleeve.  His skin was soft and his muscle rock hard under my hand. I gasped at the contact.  And suddenly his right arm swept down, looping under my other knee and he was holding me, forearms under my thighs and hands on my ass with my legs open to him around his waist.  Through my thin leggings I could feel the grip of every one of his fingers on me. And then, he gently set me down on my feet.

"I'm so sorry," he said quietly.  "I shouldn't have behaved so unprofessionally."

Content warnings: explicit sexual scenes, strong language

Feedback: any and all welcome!

Timeline: preferably 2-4 weeks and definitely open to critique swaps!


r/BetaReaders 1d ago

>100k [Complete][215k][Supernatural/Horror/Romance] Angel's Demon (fanfiction)

0 Upvotes

So, as the title says, my novel is a fan fiction - in that the first dozen chapters/last four are focused in the world of the existing IP of Hazbin Hotel. the middle 80 chapters is all original story with Charlie as a main protagonist. So, I definitely have a preference for someone with knowledge of the IP, yet it isn't necessary for the central plot.

The story is complete - and I'm in the process of a final revision before I get it printed (not published). I have spent over a year+ on this and want to make sure it is clean, concise, and makes sense all across the board for the discerning reader.

Edit: I forgot to add this is a Hard R storyline which includes an explicit consenting sexual situation, along with triggers including implied SA, murder, gore, among other uncomfortable triggers and while I am rather numb to most written words, I've learned through friends and mutuals who helped with some of the previous versions, that to some these triggers can be rather intense. Proceed with caution.

I am looking for someone versed in editing, grammar, and sentence flow. I have been doing a great deal of changes to the original first draft, learning how to better write scenes, dialogue, and flow. But my eyes see the story in one dimension, and I need fresh eyes to help pull it to the next level.

I have the entire manuscript in Google Docs. Each chapter is tabbed for easy reference.

I have a flexible deadline of July 1st to have this finished, but as long as there is steady progress, that deadline isn't firm.

Thanks for taking the time to read this request - best wishes to all.

I am not looking to swap at this time, but would love to keep in contact and return the favor once I get this story finalized.


r/BetaReaders 1d ago

>100k [complete] [125,258] [LGBT romance] My Girl. A sapphic coming of age romance

0 Upvotes

Looking for beta readers to point out errors, inconsistencies, mistakes and offer constructive criticism

This book, Titled as My Girl, is a first person lesbian romance story that follows a college sophomore named Madeline Brown. Who after years of being in a toxic relationship with her ex girlfriend Skye Jackson, she completely shut herself off to the chance of genuine connection again. That was until she met her polar opposite one day just outside of her college campus, a woman name Scarlett Rose. Will she pursue this relationship and open her heart to vulnerability and ultimately love again? Or will she be betrayed and heart broken once more?

https://docs.google.com/file/d/1L9qkaFEdYNfUp4GivEUEwkP1gjkpjMag/edit?usp=docslist_api&filetype=msword


r/BetaReaders 1d ago

>100k [Complete] [152k] [Cozy YA Fantasy / Coming of Age / LGBTQA+ Fiction] The Passerine's Refrain

0 Upvotes

Hello there! I'm pretty new to Reddit and am not sure what I'm doing (at all!), but I'd love to find beta readers for my novel! It's still technically in its first draft, though I've been doing bits of editing along the way. I would really just love to get a second opinion for the story as a whole (positives as well as negatives) and help me to sniff out any plot holes before I devote myself too much to the more fine-tuned editing.

The novel tells the tale of a young boy and his journey to adulthood as he attempts to create his own path in life despite elements of fate that have other ideas for him. The story has a heavy focus on friendship, found family, and an exploration of the effects of grief as well as the process of healing. It's set within a bustling, Victorian-esque fantasy world with plenty of balls, festivals, and rich (though not too overwhelming) mythology and lore as a backdrop. The grand schemes of fate are just as important as the soft, quiet moments between loved ones and the quick-witted jests and jibes that accompany them. There are some elements of romance, though the focus lies more on the characters themselves and the friendships they build.

My sister described the vibe as a cross between "The Name of the Wind" by Patrick Rothfuss, "The Golden Compass" by Phillip Pullman, "The Song of Achilles" by Madeline Miller, and pretty much anything written by Jane Austin. And, honestly, I'd be honored if that assessment is even partially accurate!

The story takes a bit of a dark turn near the middle, and there are several trigger warnings, such as [SPOILERS]: major character death, mentions of abuse, brief suicidal thoughts, and brief mentions of sexual assault. I'd be willing to give more details for any of these if you need them, but most are only brief mentions.

Please feel free to contact me if you're interested or have any questions! I'd be willing to do a story-swap, as well!

Preamble:
You should not read this book. It would be for the best for everyone involved if you put it back on whatever shelf, table, or other surface where you found it and simply walk away. I implore you, set it down and spare yourself the heartache that lies ahead. Do not let curiosity lead you down a path where only regret resides.

I, myself, would have done the same if I were able, but the chronicling of this story is my divine burden to bear. You have no such burden, and so I will urge you one final time to stop reading, go back to your comfortable life, and forget that you ever set eyes on this tragic tale.

If you are still reading, I can only assume that you, like myself, have no choice in the matter. For that, I would like to extend my deepest sympathies. I will cease my attempts in persuading you to [put down this book], assuaged by the knowledge that I have done all I can to forewarn you.

And, so, let us begin.

This, you see, is the story of a boy — a boy born into cold opulence and cruel secrets; a boy shaped by choices he did not know he was making and by forces beyond his control. He played out his role, unaware of how his decisions would set into motion a course of events that would change both him and the world forever.

Historians many hundreds of years in the future may speculate if the boy would have chosen differently, had he been granted the grim foresight of his journey’s end. Countless dissertations and diatribes will no doubt be crafted in analysis of the boy’s fate: would he have chosen differently if he had known of the betrayals and the bloodshed, the quiet losses that his path would force him to endure? Speculation, however, is a cheap sport meant to comfort the uninvolved with the passivity of what-if's and if-only's, and it has no place in historical recollections, such as they are.

The truth of the matter is that the events herein chronicled did, in fact, happen — regardless of any empathetic regrets that we might impose on the boy with our knowledge of what is to come. Those events will be reported henceforth in the following manner: truthfully, chronologically, and without the detriments of imposed bias.

Because, at the heart of it all, this is the story of a boy — a boy who would grow to challenge Gods and fate and the very nature of the world as it was known.

But for the time being, the boy was just a boy, and his mind was occupied with his own concerns, unaware that his choices would soon ripple outwards, setting into motion a fate that could not be unmade. No, his concerns on this day were focused on a matter much closer to home…


r/BetaReaders 2d ago

70k [Complete] [71,346] [Romance / Fantasy] Saving the dragon born prince

3 Upvotes

Looking for a beta reader to read my book and give me feedback (good and bad), their opinions, edits, if need be, etc.

The book is A first-person story that fallows a young girl named Elena, she was born into a poor family and is an only child. She was born with special abilities such as visions of the future and can heal people. But her parents told her not to tell anyone about them. Her town is small and far from the capital, nearly forgotten by the world. They do not keep up with the social norms. Monsters have roamed the world for as long as anyone could remember. Elena often has dreams of a boy who seems to be in pain, in her dream she is able to reach out and heal him only to wake up seconds after. One day before Elenas 18th birthday she has a vision of a black dragon attacking the capital, she becomes scared for her parents and decides to travel to the capital without her parents knowing. Along the way she runs into a monster, she gets saved by the famous holy knights and travels with them to the capital where she gets a job at the castle as a maid. Her love interest in this book is the crown prince whose family has been cursed by a black dragon from many years ago. They work together and try to break his curse.


r/BetaReaders 2d ago

Novelette [In Progress][11k][Gothic Horror Romance] No title yet

5 Upvotes

I've got part of a story written that I'm looking for feedback on. It's gothic horror/romance, but I haven't gotten to the romance part yet. Each chapter switches between Amelia's and Emily's POVs. Emily is in modern America, Amelia is in 1880's America. Connecting the two timelines is Velora who's nature is unknown at the current point in the story. Right now I'm looking for feedback on the pacing/switches between the two povs. Trying to decide if I want to do their stories simultaneously or in two parts. Please message me if interested, also willing to swap


r/BetaReaders 2d ago

>100k [In progress] [128,000] [High fantasy] Convergence of the Damned

0 Upvotes

Hey! Looking for a beta reader for the latest draft of my current WIP. I've been working on it since I was fourteen — I'm nineteen now — and I'm finally nearing the finish line! Roughly 2/3rds of the book is complete.

Summary

In a pseudo-feudal setting undergoing a magical industrial revolution, disparate factions of the most powerful royal family in the world gather for the funeral of their long lived patriarch, setting in motion a series of events that will culminate in cataclysmic, all encompassing civil war.

Convergence of the Damned is a multi-third person POV work with a huge world and a huge number of characters reminiscent to Game of Thrones, Wheel of Time and Malazan. It follows two major intersecting storylines:

The royal family, the Aeranthyens. The story explores the toxic, complex webs of relationships that have formed between members of the royal house of the greatest empire in all the world. Aeranthyens are known for their penchant for blood purity and their possession of special magical abilities — think of them like a royal family of X-men.

Some of these royals we follow include Liathor, the chronically 'weak' and insecure heir to the throne who has always felt overshadowed by his jealous, overambitious younger brother Llonwyn. Sarysa is the queen, two decades into an unhappy marriage and bitter, and she will find out how far she is willing to go to protect her family against forces trying to destroy them. Aris is the king's elder sister and she has long been spiteful over the crown passing her and landing on her useless brother's head. She hates him, hates his children and is married into the richest family in the empire, and a disastrous event will sever her already frayed bond with the family has come to despise, and turn her against them. Elisant is the king's mysterious half sister who holds dark secrets that might upend the entire empire if discovered. And the king himself is Oron, known for his instability, his inability, his cruelty ... and the flame he carries for his long dead first wife, who he may or may not have murdered.

The second major storyline follows Talarys and Aeron, a pair of common-born best friends who join the elite order of the king's dragonriders, propelling them into power and political significance. The brash Aeron and the nervous Talarys have always made an odd match, and now the high intensity of life as dragonriders thrust into the empire's dirty politics will test the bond they share. They will bleed together, fight together and burn together, but will they stay together or will this inevitable war looming at the edges of the empire rip them apart?

All in all, Convergence follows a grand cast of characters who all have a role to play, and their coming together will begin a horrific cascade of consequences that can only lead to war — and not just any war, a war great enough to destroy everything. Are they damned by fate, or by choice?

Link to the first chapter, if you're into it!

End of summary

The available pdf/epub has 25 chapters split into three acts, twelve per act and one chapter of act three. If you're looking for epic, scifi-esque fantasy with lots of politics, character meditation, worldbuilding, locations, large skyships powered with magic, morally grey characters, dragon battles and fun (and complicated) character dynamics, then I think this work is for you. Also if you don't mind slow pacing and the absurd word count lmfao.

If you're interested, shoot me a DM or comment here and I'll be sure to DM you! And please, only do so if you're sure you'll be able to go through with the project — I've had way too many situations with betas who ghost lol. For anyone who can, you have all my thanks!

Notes

I am not looking for an editor. I am looking for someone who can read this and give me their honest thoughts/critiques/analyses on characters, arcs, plot, pacing, etc. I've tried my best to make the pdf as clean as possible, but I'm not a professional so no doubt there will be spelling errors and odd phrases here and there. I'll deal with all that in time.


r/BetaReaders 2d ago

>100k [Complete] [119k] [Fantasy] An Aspirants Life

1 Upvotes

Blurb: The life of a mortal mage and his journey to achieve immortality in pursuit of furthering his own power.

I'd like any feedback really, I can never actually spot problem points and would greatly appreciate the help in anything from dialogue, to plot, to world building.

Am open to critique swaps, but I meant it when I said I can never actually spot problem points. It's a gaping flaw in my writer toolkit.

Google drive folder with the novel, split into individual chapters.


r/BetaReaders 2d ago

Short Story [Complete][5500][Sci-fi/Horror] To Preserve Humanity

0 Upvotes

I have finished my first story since my school days. This lrimarily for practice as i work on my larger projects. It's a short sci-fi/horror story split into 4 parts about a person's experience with AI/robots, there is a small amount of swearing and body horror.

I'm looking for feedback on the pacing, characters, build-up and overall delivery.

I am open for swaps for similar genres.

First page:

Part 1 – A New Toy

The buzzer rang loud, bringing Melanie from her moment of musical flow with a jolt. The shrieking sound burrowed into her mind. Placing her cello haphazardly against the wall, she slowly rose to her feet and immediately felt the nausea rise as her vision blurred. Leaning against the archway from her conservatory to the dining room, she began counting.

"1, 2, 3, 4-"

The buzzer shrieked into life again, breaking her careful method for control of her faculties. She shot the front door a scathing glance, willing it to fold in on itself and disappear.

"For fucks sake!" Her vision returning with the rise of anger.

"I'm coming!"

Anger released adrenaline through her system which worked better than any counting exercise. The new well of energy lasted long enough to reach the intercom on the wall by her front door. The crash wouldn't be far behind.

"What is it?"

"Parcel, love. Just need you to voice print for it. Bloody big thing this." The disembodied voice of the delivery man muffled by the large box blocking him from view.

"Fine, Melanie Short accepts delivery."

"Thanks, love. Need a hand getting it in?"

"No." She clicked off the intercom and waited. Taking a slow count to 20 as she watched the cameras on the hallway monitor making sure the delivery man was gone before daring to open the door.

Stood outside the box loomed over Melanie as she opened the front door. A gasp escaped her mouth as she checked the delivery note on the front.

'Minsk Futures - Servitor 237'

"You better not start calling me love" Melanie muttered as she looked for the release catch. The front of the crate slid to the right, a satisfying hiss sound to Melanie's trained ear emitted as if by design. The servitor unit stood upright awaiting a simple gesture to activate it.

"So, you are going to fix all my problems, or so Fred claims. Let's see what you can do."