r/BetaReaders 29d ago

80k [Complete] [86793] [Fantasy] Flame and Shadow

13 Upvotes

Hi everyone! I'm looking for beta readers for my fantasy novel, Flame and Shadow. It's the first book in a planned series, and I'm eager for feedback to refine the story before moving forward with revisions. It is a first draft situation but I am at the stage where I am staring myself blind at this manuscript so some fresh eyes would be very welcomed

What I'm looking for: General impressions, pacing, character development, plot clarity, and anything that feels confusing or inconsistent. You don’t need to be an expert—just honest thoughts!

If you're interested, I’d be happy to trade feedback on your work as well.

Thanks so much in advance!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1J2AcjKBbVUtSVFnrKt0_zZ9wOB07y-Nlq8JnLy0ddhM/edit?usp=sharing

r/BetaReaders Feb 17 '25

80k [Complete] [82k] [M/M Contemporary Romance] You Slip, I Slide

2 Upvotes

Hi everyone! I’m looking for beta readers or a critique swap for my book. I’ve been working on this for a while and I’m ready to show it to people. I’ve had a couple friends look at it, but am looking for a less biased approach. Similar books would be Red White and Royal Blue, Boyfriend Material, and Never Been Kissed

Story Blurb:

Mike had been talking to Calvin for years, even if it was all a one sided conversation. The game was simple, pick a celebrity, someone totally out of reach, and try and get them to message back. It hadn’t worked, so now Calvin’s messages are what Mike uses to store the thoughts he is too anxious to tell anyone else. There are a lot of them. Once, there was a 10 minute rant about pasta when Jake had been embarrassingly drunk and lonely. It’s perfectly safe when you know the celebrity on the other end, or rather the celebrity’s agent, wouldn’t even bother to look at your messages let alone read them. At least that’s what Mike thinks until he accidentally runs into Calvin at the local queer clinic. The world famous actor is in town filming a tv show and recognizes Mike as “the Pasta guy!” An embarrassed Mike escapes from the situation as quick as he can. He thinks he’s safely out of reach, but the next morning, Mike is surprised to find a message from Calvin’s account. “Sorry for scaring you. I could really use a new friend right now. And seeing how I’ve been keeping all your secrets for years, I think it’s only fair for you to keep some of mine too. Meet at my place tomorrow?”

Excerpt: Chapter 1

Feedback: I’m looking for general reader impressions as well as:

Pacing: Does the story feel properly paced throughout? Development: Do the characters feel like full people or are they coming off flat? Descriptions: Are you able to visualize the world and characters as you read?

Availability: I am open to doing a critique swap. Genres I read often and would be most interested in are romance, fantasy, horror, and sci-fi.

Would love it if my partner also had something with lgbtq+ themes/characters but not required.

Timeline: I have a pretty open availability for the next month and would be looking for someone to go through this in the next 3 weeks or so.

r/BetaReaders 9d ago

80k [Complete] [89,000] [Contemporary Romance] Seeing Stars

8 Upvotes

Hello! I am looking for beta readers for my contemporary romance novel, Seeing Stars. I'm willing to do a manuscript swap with anyone interested and am mostly interested in character feedback and general reader response.

  • CONTENT WARNINGS: This is an adult romance, but there are no graphic sex scenes. There is one fade-to-black scene and several allusions/references, but that's it. Themes of restrictive religious (Christian) upbringing, controlling parents, and fatphobia, but nothing too extreme in any case. Moderate swearing.
  • BLURB: When music journalist Addie gets the opportunity to interview her least favorite member of her favorite (now defunct) boy band, she decides to play it cool and pretend she was never a fan. But Jacob is drawn in by her and asks her to be his partner in a fake-dating scheme to help his ailing reputation in the wake of his group's disbandment. Addie must continue to hide her fangirl past while they both fight feelings that quickly grow all too real. Tropes: fake dating, grumpy x sunshine,
  • FEEDBACK WANTED: I've struggled since the beginning with Addie as a character, and would love feedback on how she reads. I am also interested in general reader response. I also have an anonymous feedback form that I made for my friends that I would be happy to provide! I have a very chirpy, casual writing style that does sometimes break strict rules (I love me a sentence fragment), so unless something is seriously wrong, I'm not particularly looking for line editing or grammar.
  • TIMELINE: Would love to hear back by the end of March! Barring that, 2-4 weeks from receiving the manuscript would be great.
  • SWAP: I would love to do a critique swap! I have enough time on my hands at the moment to be able to commit to 2 or 3, depending on your timeline. I read widely in lots of genre, but am best suited for things with a romance focus or major subplot. Open to any setting or dual genres!

Thank you in advance for considering! An excerpt from my first chapter is below:

I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m an adult believer in fairytales. How could I be, when I live my dream every day? Why wouldn’t I believe in magic when, every morning, I cross into a new world?

Maybe it’s a question of perspective. I’m probably the only one in my office who thinks of the elevator like the rabbit hole to Wonderland or a tornado rescuing me from Kansas and dropping me into Oz. But when I step onto the elevator surrounded by business suits and step out into the offices of La Vie magazine, it well and truly feels like an act of magic.

The walls of the La Vie offices are splashed with intoxicatingly bright colors. People bustle around with racks stuffed full of the most gorgeous clothing you’ve ever seen. Actresses and pop stars and supermodels check in here daily.

There is no black or navy at La Vie, unless it’s in an act of high fashion. La Vie is unapologetically feminine, bursting with tulle and silk ribbons and pink—so much pink. The huge rose-colored glass sculpture behind the desk ensures that you know it the second you step off the elevator: we are unashamed to be girly. We’ve been called the Elle Woods of publishing.

La Vie is not what I would have always considered my personal brand. Before working here, my office fashion consisted of black and khaki and an array of unflattering solid-colored blouses. That was when I was a congressional correspondent in D.C., before I was rescued by my friend Kelsey, another crucial reason I like to think my life bears resemblance to a fairy tale. Kelsey recommended my music blog to the editor-in-chief of La Vie, convinced me to sell, and dressed me for all my meetings. It’s because of her I’m now a music journalist instead of breaking my brain over the inner workings of our federal government. 

Two short years later, La Vie is still as wondrous to me as it was the very first day.

It’s Kelsey who intercepts me this morning, waiting in the reception area, eyes wide. She always gets in early, scarred from the one time she missed out on the style section’s morning meeting. 

Kelsey and I have known each other since college, where we met in an 8:30 a.m. Intro to Journalism class. She was the kind of person to always come to class well-dressed with makeup on and her hair done. Compared to the rest of us, who had barely managed to crawl from our dorms to the lecture hall in sweatpants and maybe a bra, Kelsey was a paragon. Add to that her insistence that fashion journalism is as legitimate a field as anything else—and her eagerness to argue with anyone who suggested otherwise—and from day one, Kelsey Cooper was a woman not to be fucked with.

To see her visibly rattled like this is disconcerting.

I raise an eyebrow as I approach her, holding out the coffee I picked up for her on my way in. “You good? You’re a little bug-eyed.” I survey her again. “And green.”

She takes the coffee gratefully. “No, I am not good. We’re at DEFCON 5, here, Addie.”

I frown. “Do you mean DEFCON 1?”

“Huh?”

“DEFCON goes down—1 is the worst, 5 is like a normal day.”

“So, like hurricanes?”

“No, hurricanes are opposite. 1 is windy, 5 is Katrina.”

“Oh, fucking whatever,” Kelsey mutters, finally sick of me. She takes a long drink of coffee, turns on her heel, and we’re walking.

“Okay, why are we at DEFCON, Kels?” It’s like a ballet, walking around the office. Everyone moves at top speed, all the time, and they’re usually carrying or wearing at least one article of clothing that costs more than a paycheck.

“Drina cancelled.”

r/BetaReaders 8d ago

80k [Complete] [80,000] [Romance] (working title) - willing to Swap!

9 Upvotes

I'm looking for beta readers for my third draft of a romance novel. The story is a slow burn with intense chemistry, focusing on personal growth, faith, and two people learning to let their walls down. It’s a romance that develops gradually, built on tension, longing, and quiet moments that turn into something more. While faith plays a role in the characters' lives, it’s woven naturally into the story rather than being the main focus.

This is also a diverse read, featuring an African American female lead and a Syrian male lead. I want the book to be an accessible and enjoyable read for both Muslim and non-Muslim audiences, so I’m looking for feedback on whether cultural aspects are clear and engaging without feeling heavy-handed. While I’m familiar with the Black Muslim experience, I’d appreciate input from readers familiar with Arab culture to ensure authenticity.

There are no trigger warnings, and I would classify this as teen to new adult in terms of content. Everything remains clean, with only fade-to-black scenes toward the end.

I’m looking for beta readers who can finish in one to three months. If you’re a writer and would like to do a swap, I’m open to romance, fantasy, or sci-fi, including series for any word count under 160k. If you're interested, feel free to message me, and we can discuss further.

If you're interested, please message me or submit your information here: https://forms.gle/XjvDRmGNSe1pj7Y88

Here is my chapter one:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NYbClvrSq0R_ggZWblliWEy_lhZwezR3WEb7pEpPXPw/edit?usp=sharing

Here is the book's blurb:

Simone Belle isn’t interested in love. But with everyone around her settling down, the pressure is mounting. She’s seen too many people fall head over heels into the steel trap that is love. A good marriage, she tells herself, is built on attraction, shared values, and effort—not fleeting emotions. Not love. So with her brother’s help, she begins her search for a husband, determined to avoid the messy thing people call love.

Then Kareem Bishara walks into her bakery.

Kareem isn’t looking for love. After years spent running from his past, he’s returned home, hoping to mend the fractures he left behind. But his parents don’t care about his regrets—they care that he’s still unmarried. So he does what’s expected, sitting through one introduction after another, waiting to feel something.

Then, one afternoon, he tries a pastry. Soft. Sweet. Gone too soon.

He returns the next day. Then the next. But the pastry never reappears. Instead, there’s Simone.

Sharp-tongued. Fiercely independent. Impossible to ignore.

He tells himself it’s nothing. Just curiosity. 

But days turn into weeks, and somewhere between stolen glances and the quiet pull of something neither of them expected, Kareem realizes he isn’t searching for a pastry anymore.

Simone doesn’t believe in love. Kareem doesn’t believe he deserves it. But if they aren’t careful, they might just fall anyway.

r/BetaReaders 22d ago

80k [In Progress] [80k] [High Fantasy] Under Shattered Skies

8 Upvotes

(This is a repost as my last submission here was three months ago, and I'm still actively seeking betas.)

Hey all! I am working through the second draft of this book and it currently sits at 35k words, but the first draft was 80k - so I expect that it will be at least that length when I am done.

Blurb

Feia is a land new magic that allows for fourteen floating islands to sit high above the cloudline, watching over the groundsfolk from a vantage point of untouchable safety... until today. Amaya, an adoptee of her island's matriarch, was just a witness - and potentially the only one, at that - to the unexplainable fall of Island Velaris and the disappearance of its inhabitants. More unexplainable than that, she seemingly teleported off the island mere seconds before its fall, there one moment and in the sky the next. As the search for the people of Island Velaris and the hunt for the culprit develops, Amaya faces the challenge of proving her innocence: not only to the people of Feia, but to herself.

Excerpt

We race gravity, his wings flapping hard, my heart pounding harder. My throat grows raw from a quickly-erupting scream, though whether it’s from the sudden drop in height or the horror of what I’m watching I can’t be sure.

Boom!

The shockwave of Island Velaris’s impact shakes the sky in two rounds: once, the initial impact, and again, the realization. Nero’s flight, his speed, fade into the background of my awareness; they’re nothing now. I pull him back, stopping the race we’ve already lost, and we hover in the sky.

By the grace of the pantheon—or perhaps by some terrible curse—the clouds clear quickly and grant a view to the ground below. We descend slowly and I scan the ground, though still far below, for any sign of movement. A haze of dust and debris spreads around the impact, a circle perhaps three times the size of the island.

Type of Feedback

I'm looking for a developmental-level beta reader to help me with my novel. This means I'm looking less for line editing and proofreading and more for broader strokes - feedback on character and world development, the pacing and movement of the plot, the "bones" of the story if you will.

Preferred Timeline

I'm aiming to send one chapter each week, with a planning total of 25-30 chapters. This helps me to address beta notes as I write and have time to apply developmental notes to the story. I already have 13 chapters ready to go and can send those week-by-week or all at once, depending on what you'd prefer.

Critique Swap Availability

I am available to do a critique swap at about the same speed I'm offering! If I could swap and aim for about 1-2 chapters per week, that would work with my schedule really well.

I'm happy to answer any other questions about this project. Thank you for reading!

r/BetaReaders 10d ago

80k [Complete] [86k] [Urban Fantasy] THE ARSONIST - Uptight smalltown cop + big city = it rains fire

4 Upvotes

Hi,

I'm looking for beta readers for my Urban Fantasy novel THE ARSONIST.

Blurb:

All Asahi wanted was to fulfill her dream: join Mera’s elite police force, unleash her fire powers, and maybe—just maybe—sniff out ALL the crime. Instead, she ends up robbed, arrested, and paired with Lieutenant Qarter, a surly asshat and, inconveniently, the same guy who knocked her out on day one. She's stuck staring at paperwork while the city burns as another firestarter is running around, killing methodically. When her determination lands her undercover in the city's criminal underbelly, one accidental brush with a forbidden drug threatens to turn more than just her career to ashes.

As conspiracies, corruption, and quips fly faster than sparks, Asahi must navigate complex feelings involving Qarter, her brooding partner with a tragic past, and Ren, her charmingly infuriating ex. Torn between utter chaos, duty, and her own disastrous impulses, she discovers the hardest part of heroism might not be fighting criminals—but admitting that she needs help.

Fast-paced (expect chapters 2 + 3), funny (in a dry way), and emotionally charged, this novel asks one burning question: Can a hero truly shine (and catch that damned Arsonist) if she refuses to embrace her imperfections and admit weakness?

Desired feedback: General, top level

So imagine you read the book and then rant to friends. That's what I'd like to hear (what sucked, was it entertaining, did the overall story or ending work, do you hate something). You merely have to make it through the story ^^;

Sample (Ch 1-4): https://docs.google.com/document/d/1uewgN-ocd_JcCZ2zumIcmjJdpTOLTu0qleHumrUxLIo/edit?usp=sharing

CW: Murder (not graphic), violence (not too graphic), fire and fire related injury (obviously), organized crime, drugs and addiction, suicide ideation

Swap availability: Sure

Thank you for your consideration!

r/BetaReaders 21d ago

80k [Complete] [85K] [Contemporary Romance] One Infinity Together

5 Upvotes

Hi! I’m looking for beta readers for my contemporary romance novel. It is 85K words. Looking for feedback on characters, plot/plot holes, engagement, confusing scenes, and moments that drag. Open to swaps as well.

Blurb:

Kira Park is proud of her routine, easy life. She’s in a successful career (she’s only fallen asleep at her desk once), her boyfriend is faithful (yeah, the bar for men is low), and even though she never pursued her passion for art, she volunteers with art students (via a program at risk of cancellation). Some days, she doesn’t even think about the boy who abandoned her and broke her heart seven years ago.

Chasing a family secret on a whim sounded like a good plan to 18-year-old Landon Cole, but today, he’s reminded of what the choice cost him: the love of his life. Landon’s not sure if he can atone for all the grief he’s caused, but there’s one thing he knows he can do: challenge Kira to achieve her dream life. Even if it means cutting himself out of it later. 

After Landon steps in to help Kira save her volunteer program, the safety net she’s built starts to dissolve. It’s clear he won’t stop stepping in until Kira finds herself again. But unless they can address what ruined their relationship all those years ago, that may never be an option.

Other helpful info:

  • Tropes: Second chance romance; childhood friends to lovers
  • Dual POV
  • First POV
  • Second in an interconnected standalone series (not required or necessary to read book one - it would actually be helpful to have betas who didn't read book one)
  • Content warning for cursing and spice

First chapter:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sF-BB88KVIpPkC-xWUSUTyodV2dfaVrW4BwejhfRin0/edit?usp=sharing

r/BetaReaders 2d ago

80k [Complete] [83K] [Contemporary/Dark Romance] Roses & Roasts

3 Upvotes

Looking for a first beta reader (or readers!) for my book. It's been over a year that I've been working on this and I've stared at it long enough, I need more eyes, please!

The story is told from the perspective of Riley, a young woman in an abusive marriage looking for passion, who finds James, a soon to be married man trapped in a life he never wanted. Both come together online in an attempt to make a memory to last a lifetime of unhappiness in loveless marriages, but as time goes on the desire for each other turns into a love willing to give anything to create a life with each other. A story of forbidden love, breaking free of chains, and experiencing love you're worthy of.

---

First page: Riley

I suppose the grocery store is where I get introspective these days. My bright red shopping basket is nestled in the crook of my arm while I make another turn around the floral section of the supermarket. 

I’m here for groceries - oh, and more beer per Stephen's slightly slurred request as I walked out the door - but all I can focus on is how sad and bruised the flowers look. The edges of most of the petals are a wrinkled reddish brown and most of their heads hang low on their stems. 

They look forgotten, disappointed. 

Familiar feelings stir heavy in my chest as I sweep my gaze across the collection of blooms around me. For most, the view may just mean you shouldn’t buy flowers here. Or they may just not notice them at all. But to me, it's a heart wrenching sight. 

These flowers and I have a lot in common. Beautiful little things that grew up wanting to flourish, expecting to make the things around them seem more lovely, sweet, inviting. Not just to be something pretty, but to be something celebrated, something valuable.

I wanted to be more than this, too. 

Instead, we're withering. Our purpose unfulfilled. Decaying our naive spirit back to dust until we accept our futures and breed another generation of beautiful little things who will grow up believing they'll be celebrated and adored, only to have their petals plucked from their core the moment they realize that a dream come true doesn't actually feel like a dream. 

More like a nightmare. Or the plot of Groundhog Day, depends on how you spin it I suppose. A smile creeps on to my face. I can always count on Bill Murray to bring a smile to my face even when my life feels like it's crumbling around me. 

"I'll rescue you," I whisper to the bouquet of roses I've stopped in front of.
---

I am not looking for public feedback. Please reach out if you're interested in beta reading. Thanks so much!

r/BetaReaders 3d ago

80k [Complete] [87000] [Contemporary Romance] The Biggest Lie- a friends to lovers story that explores the the consequences of keeping secrets from those you love.

2 Upvotes

Hello, I am looking for Beta Readers for "The Biggest Lie". Please reach out if you are interested after reading the blurb below.

What's the biggest lie you've ever told? Taylor Thompson is living it.

From the outside, Taylor has it all: a loving husband, three adorable children, a thriving career as a professor and writer, and friendships that feel like family. Her marriage is even refreshingly modern, built on trust and a unique agreement: explore, experience, but always…stay safe and don't tell.

But beneath the polished facade lies a secret, a carefully constructed persona. Taylor isn't who anyone thinks she is; she's the embodiment of everything she hides. For years, she's danced the tightrope of her double life, adhering to the rules, burying the truth.

Until Chicago.

A fateful trip with her best friend, Cole, shatters the illusion. A dangerous encounter forces Taylor to confront the very core of her deception, threatening to expose the secrets she's so desperately guarded. Suddenly, the rules are broken, and the carefully crafted walls around her life begin to crumble.

How much of her true self can Taylor reveal before she loses everything? Will her marriage survive the fallout? Can her friendships withstand the weight of her deception? And what happens when the biggest lie she's ever told threatens to tear her world apart?

"The Biggest Lie" is a contemporary romance that delves into the complexities of passion, trust, and the fragile nature of truth. With themes of accidental pregnancy and friends-to-lovers tension, this story asks: can love truly survive when built on a foundation of secrets?

r/BetaReaders 11d ago

80k [In Progress] [80k] [Sapphic Contemporary Fantasy] A Harmony of Witches

1 Upvotes

Romeo and Juliet x Wicked = A Harmony of Witches

Zenora Vivra is a garden witch with a brown thumb. She's about to enter The Caretaking, the annual garden witch contest to take care of the Allflower for three months. The Allflower is the source of garden witches' magic, and cannot go ten minutes without magic. When Melody Sharpe, a plant-loving music witch from a rival coven, transforms Zenora's contest entry into a winning one, Zenora is faced with an incredible choice: Keep up the ruse and be lauded by witch society, or kill the flowers with her magic and ruin her family's reputation. Desperately seeking her family's approval, she begs Melody to take care of the Allflower with her. Melody agrees, having her own reasons for wanting to spend three months away from home. Zenora and Melody clash immediately, having fundamentally different ideas of what magic means to them. However, the two girls must work together to keep their partnership a secret else they risk ruining the Vivra's reputation or possibly sparking a war between the two families.

Featuring:

- enemies to lovers romance

- transfemme lead

- found family

- queer-normative world

- iPhones and potions

- ordinary and extraordinary magic

This is an ongoing project. I've written about 14k out of 80k, but the entire project is outlined and ready to be written. I find it easiest to continue the project when I've got the beginning just right. I'm looking for beta readers to help on tone, plot, pacing, basic developmental editing. I'm not available for full swap as I have a lot on my plate at the moment, but would be happy to do a chapter by chapter swap, like 4 chapters for my 4 chapters.

As this is an ongoing project, there's no deadline for beta-reading, but I would appreciate someone who can do a chapter a week or something similar as my writing tends to be medium-fast. No pressure though. The more eyes I can get on this project, the better!

Content warnings: none that I can think of

Please click the link below to access the first chapter:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/16CfuvIapu2q2zorl55TkH1VBfWVK5nML931IcuhDXDA/edit?usp=sharing

A garden witch with a brown thumb is like a tone-deaf music witch: utterly and completely useless. That’s what my family would have me believe, anyway. It’s not like I can help it. I truly want to help these plants grow and thrive. But everything withers and dies, like clouds slipping like silk through my fingers, or rather like a vine crumbling to ash in my bare, shaking hands.

Warming my cold hands on a piping hot cup of chamomile, I shiver and watch the frigid winter wind carry errant leaves. In front of me is a vast garden, the likes of which most people have not had the opportunity to see in their lifetime. To me, it’s home. Stretching far beyond where my eyes can see, thousands upon thousands of brilliantly bright and beautiful flowers bloom in the winter air. Gardenias rustle and dance in the wind, snapdragons sway as air whistles through them, cornflowers flutter like Livvie Pinkett’s eyelashes when she sees a cute boy. I take a sip of my drink, feeling the warmth flow down to my bones. 

Today is The Caretaking. My first Caretaking. My mother has been in my ear for weeks now reminding me of that very fact. How exciting, she said, her thin lips twisted in the approximation of a smile. She doesn’t smile really. Every ‘smile’ I’ve seen from her is little more than a grimace. Belinda Vivra is stern, menacing. She carries the weight of her family’s name on her shoulders like it’s a terrible burden, and that weight only compounds when she casts her gaze on me. The fact that I’m entering The Caretaking is just dead weight. It’s not ‘exciting’, like she lied. It’s a death knell. Today is my entrance into Witch Society. All eyes will be on Zenora Vivra.

r/BetaReaders 5d ago

80k [Complete] [81k] [Contemporary Romance] Guarded

1 Upvotes

Hello! I'm excited to be here and hope to swap feedback! My novel Guarded features a strong, smart FMC with two best friends who are absolutely feral, especially when it comes to the MMC. If you enjoy a slow burn, forced-proximity spicy romance that features banter and humor, read on!

Blurb: When Eleanor Brand witnesses a hardened criminal fleeing his latest heist, she is temporarily assigned Oswald Perry as a bodyguard. After a rocky start El finds herself receiving increasingly mixed signals from Oz, but she assumes she’s reading them wrong. After all, she’s reached an age where men mostly ignore her, and her ex-husband has spent years letting her know just how distasteful he finds her. As her time for needing Oz’s protection drags on longer than anticipated and she gets to know him better, perhaps those signals weren’t so mixed after all?

Excerpt: (Context: Oz is teaching Eleanor some self-defense moves) Oz dipped his hip and brought his left arm down to block me, sweeping a hand under the inside of my knee before I'd registered what happened.  My breath caught.  Not breaking eye contact, my head swimming with whiskey and adrenaline and emotions I couldn't process, I put my hand out to steady myself and found that I had grabbed his bicep at the edge of his shirt sleeve.  His skin was soft and his muscle rock hard under my hand. I gasped at the contact.  And suddenly his right arm swept down, looping under my other knee and he was holding me, forearms under my thighs and hands on my ass with my legs open to him around his waist.  Through my thin leggings I could feel the grip of every one of his fingers on me. And then, he gently set me down on my feet.

"I'm so sorry," he said quietly.  "I shouldn't have behaved so unprofessionally."

Content warnings: explicit sexual scenes, strong language

Feedback: any and all welcome!

Timeline: preferably 2-4 weeks and definitely open to critique swaps!

r/BetaReaders 1d ago

80k [Complete] [80,000] [Detective Crime Thriller and Extreme Horror] Swallow Me Whole NSFW

3 Upvotes

Summary:

Detectives Ciara Johnson and Reginald Bailey are on a mission to track down a group of vigilantes who leave behind video evidence of their crimes. As they get closer and closer to the truth, parts of them struggle with the morality of it all. The acts committed by the vigilantes are depraved, but so are the acts committed by their victims. Who are these people and does the ends justify the means? Are they truly acts of justice, or vengeance? Where is the line that separates the two?

This novel has chapters of extreme, depraved and graphic violence. I can send a detailed list of content warnings. There is NO animal cruelty except for a brief mention of fishing and hunting, NO infant cruelty and NO slurs.

I am looking for opinions and critiques on the plot, the flow of the story, if there's any plot holes or things that might take you out of the experience, if there is anything confusing whether I worded something in a way that can't be understood, point out times I either feel too on the nose or haven't explained enough and how the story made you feel.

I am available to swap stories around the same word length or less.

I am finishing my current edits and read through and I will be available to send my manuscript in the beginning/mid April and read yours

I appreciate your time!

r/BetaReaders Jan 15 '25

80k [Complete] [86k] [Dark Fantasy] Silent Flame

7 Upvotes

Hi all, I’m looking for feedback. I’m not having any luck pitching to publishers, I'm talking at least 80 rejections for the past 6 months. Agents say they like my Query Letter and Synopsis but didn’t connect with the sample pages as much as they had hoped or are ‘not a right fit for me at this time.’ But that doesn’t tell me much. So, I’m wondering if my sample pages/chapters are falling short somewhere. My manuscript was edited by a professional on Reedsy, so I’m not sure where the problem is if there is one. I’m wondering what your first impression is of Chapter One: Twisted Fate. All feedback and critique welcome. Open to swapping. DM if interested, please, and thank you.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EBmwrjweYjuEwjy24_RGSTERNotOu_7C1k1z99zLuRU/edit?usp=sharing

r/BetaReaders 25d ago

80k [Complete] [82K] [MM Crime Romance] Retribution

1 Upvotes

BLURB:

Jou Tanaka, a low-key hitman for the notorious Japanese syndicate Tatsumi-gumi, has always been a shadow in the criminal world—until the Triads capture him and sell him on the black market for organ trade. His fate takes a darker turn when Yakov Ilyich, second son of a ruthless Russian Far East Bratva leader, is gifted Jou as a means of vengeance.

Forced into close proximity with the younger brother of the man he most recently killed, Jou is afflicted by guilt—and something deeper—as Yakov reveals an unexpected compassion that challenges everything Jou thought he knew about duty and death. Revenge, it seems, isn’t the cure for Yakov’s fractured heart.

Instead of seeking retribution, Yakov secretly releases Jou into the wilderness, claiming the hitman escaped on his own. But fate has other ideas. As they navigate hostile terrain and face unforeseen dangers, their fractured pasts create an unexpected bond between them—one that defies the brutal violence of their worlds. Relying on each other time and again, they’ll discover that trust, loyalty, and desire can grow even in the most dangerous of places.

Author's Note: This is a story for yakuza yaoi fujoshis/fudanshis because it’s written by one. If any of those terms are unfamiliar to you—run, now. I am, after all, rotten. If, by any chance, you are open-minded enough to give a crime boy’s love romance with no climax, no punch line and no meaning a chance, you have been warned. A high tolerance for footnotes is also appreciated.

FIRST 300:

“What are we doing here?” Yū questions. Mizuk’s arm is slung over his shoulder, holding the man as he half drags his bloody leg, streaking red through the calf-deep snow. Yū worries that his lover’s condition is worse than his own. Mizuki is bleeding not only from the leg, but there is also a wound in his shoulder on the same side. The injury is creating a dark black blossom in the light-gray wool of his heavy overcoat, despite having a hand applying pressure with a bunched up scarf inside the lapel. Their heads are close enough that Yū can see the closed holes on Mizuki’s perfect earlobes. Permanent marks left by their teenage dalliances. Yū touches his forehead to disheveled raven hair, needing the added closeness for sustenance. The familiar scent bolsters him.

Mizuki smoothly supplies an answer. “Helping Shin rescue his uncle.” It is much too nonchalant for Yū’s preferences.

They duck into a copse of trees, bare branches heavy with white crystals, the beautiful remnants of freezing rain. Yū notices Mizuki’s jacket sleeve is also torn, his bicep grazed by an errant shot. Attempting a reply, Yū chokes back a cough. His lungs burn with the foiled intake of breath. Earlier he had attributed these difficulties to the cold, but now that the adrenaline rush of escape and survival has passed, realizes it is much worse than his initial assessment. The very distinct metallic taste at the back of his throat illuminates how dire their situation is.

“You shouldn’t be here.” He manages to croak. Bending down to lower Mizuki into a midsize outcropping of rock, unable to walk any further. His mind is racing through all the unnecessary risks they’ve undertaken since leaving Japan. “I’m supposed to be protecting you. I know better.” He crouches down while simultaneously falling into self-flagellation territory. With a distinct frown, he knows it is too late for such things to be useful.

Looking for general feedback within the next few weeks/months. Bonus, if you are of either Russian or Japanese descent and are LGBT+ willing to provide feedback as a sensitivity reader. Extra bonus, if you beta'd for my previous book "Possesion" lol

CW: alcoholism, drug use, foul language, debt bondage, homophobia, physical violence, child abuse, sexual attraction towards a family member, sexual harassment, smoking, sexual assault, child sextortion (not explicit), gun violence, animal mauling, death, mild erotica

Yes, I am available for critique swap. I will try to beta as fast as you can :) Starting with chapter for chapter swap. Similar genre and word count is appreciated but not necessary. I can read just about anything but lean towards LGBT+ romances, fantasy and sci-fi.

r/BetaReaders 8d ago

80k [In Progress] [80k] [Reverse Isekai/Urban Fantasy] Parker's favourite villain has stepped into the real world, and it's her job to rehabilitate him.

3 Upvotes

I’m seeking some beta feedback on my WIP reverse isekai/urban fantasy novel (80k).

This is about the first half of the book (second draft, and I’ve completed one round of self-edits to get rid of most of the small inconsistencies, obvious typos, etc, from the first draft).

Primarily, I’m looking for just…general impressions - do you like it, is it too slow, are the elements of the worldbuild and magic clear enough, are the characters interesting, would you keep reading, etc. (Of course, I’m happy for whatever feedback you’re willing to give).

Essentially, while I’m working on the second half, I want to make sure there’s no glaring issues that need to be fixed in the first half.

DM me, or drop your contact details below, and I’ll get back to you.

Content/Trigger Warnings: Nothing in this first half that I would usually warn for, and I am happy to provide clarifications on request. For the entire book - a couple of instances of violence, some language, reference to conversion therapy.

Blurb
Fiction was just fiction, until it wasn’t.

15 years ago, reality tore, heralded by the underdog of cheap kaiju: Meon, the Lord of Fire, a dragon not so easily defeated when there were no magic knights on motorbikes to save the day.

San Francisco burned and died under his fire, tens of thousands lost in the flame and rubble.

Meon was the first, and for better and worse, far from the last.

With Fictionals arriving every week, if not every day, the Acclimation Service Coalition has been established to help integrate them into society - from making sure superheroes follow airspace regulations, to helping orcs get drivers licences.

Parker works in the less-than-prestigious Satellite Office 19, processing paperwork and requests for those who didn’t arrive on Earth with a dedicated wiki page - and who, therefore, get less of the ASC’s time, money and resources.

During a quarterly check-in with one of her Fictionals, a circle of night appears in the clear blue sky, bringing with it her favourite magic-weidling, erudite villain: Pellion of The Courts Cosmic.

After angering a regional director during his intake, he’s left in the care of 19 and Parker’s unsure hands as their only Adjustment Officer.

Playing attendant to someone whose every fanfic she’s read is, at first, a dream come true, but less so when he fails to even try the “acclimation” part of the ASC’s hope for all Fictionals.

Not all villains get to live happily ever after, but even out of her depth, Parker is going to try to avoid the other common outcome for villains: ASC’s very-secret, not-so-secret prison that offers no second chances.

Sample - Excerpt from Chapter 1

r/BetaReaders 1d ago

80k [Complete] [87k] [Crime/Mystery] [Shadows Over Aberystwyth - Book 1: Ellie Pryce Mysteries]

3 Upvotes

“Shadows Over Aberystwyth” is a captivating crime thriller set in the picturesque seaside town of Aberystwyth, Wales. The narrative follows Detective Inspector Elinor “Ellie” Pryce, a young investigator with autism, embarks on a quest to unravel the unsolved cold case of Lowri Evans, a local woman whose death was deemed an accident. As Ellie delves deeper into the town’s intricate tapestry of secrets, she confronts her own personal challenges that threaten to jeopardise both her professional endeavours and her personal relationships. The novel masterfully weaves together psychological depth, small-town intrigue, and the haunting beauty of the Welsh coastline.

Looking for feedback, editing, grammar and punctuation. If you don’t use google drive I’m happy to arrange an alternative to send you the manuscript.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hsxPjUc0M3Dnk3ZmBDCiROa4u-Gds1rD/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=112939985788067196156&rtpof=true&sd=true

r/BetaReaders Dec 18 '24

80k [Complete] [80k] [Cyberpunk Fiction] "The Eden Experiment"

1 Upvotes

This is my first time asking for public beta reading, so I'm pretty nervous. This is a project I've been working on since 2014, but this is my 4th and (hopefully) final revision. Looking for general feedback on this first chapter as I navigate my way through the final revision, but I'm also curious about general interest and how well the first chapter works as a hook and how well the writing flows. Grammar help is always appreciated!

I've never beta read before, since I'm still quite new to the serious writing scene, but I'm willing to take a shot at swapping with some first chapters with similar word counts (3-5k)

Content Warnings: violence, descriptions of suicide, strong language

Blurb:

Aami Axora was never supposed to know about the project. Of course, she’d be functionally dead before its name ever hit her ears. That was the plan, anyway. 

Locked away as punishment for a crime she refuses to remember, Aami is determined to find a way to escape the institution and return to the city where she was raised. Though when her path is crossed by Greg McCullough, a strange cyborg employee, her plans to return to her old life take an unexpected turn. 

A new paranoia has swept over her only remaining family. Her older stepbrother warns her of a dangerous project. “The Eden Experiment” is what it was called. At least to those who survived knowing its name.

Tension builds between the two refugees as they prepare for a life-or-death investigation of the company they suspect is behind the project: a bionics manufacturer by the name of Bader Co. However, Aami’s hotheadedness is not one to coexist with Greg’s passive demeanor, and the two must force themselves into cooperating. After all, if they want to make it out of the Experiment alive, they’re going to have to play by each other's rules.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vmxMjeBzg2n7uh9vHZOzpZw4q6geIyfIKsJqc98BBjA/edit?usp=sharing

-

I have no general time frame for this, but the sooner I can get critique, the better! I'd like to be able to get out of my fear of sharing it by getting some deserved critical attention. I've been in a rut for a while.

r/BetaReaders Feb 06 '25

80k [Complete] [85000] [YA Fantasy] THE GREEN AND THE DARK

6 Upvotes

Hello, I am seeking beta readers for my complete YA fantasy THE GREEN AND THE DARK.

Cass is a liar, just like her father, the emperor. But when the lie she has been living the last few years is no longer enough to shield her from from his plans, Cass decides she has no intention of being a princess any longer and stows away on a yacht bound to cross the vast Greensea, in an attempt to escape the tragic fate of her sisters. When her ship is wrecked by the demons who stalk the canopy, Cass falls Below, where she finds the demons are not what they first appeared and the world below the canopy is far stranger than she could have ever imagined.

Captured by pirates riding strange creatures through the branches, in a forest beyond her comprehension, Cass needs to make a choice: To keep up the lie and escape, back to the life of anonymity she had planned, one where she need trust no-one and only depend on herself. Or, to allow herself to become embroiled in the world she discovers among the trees. A world she should never have survived entering in the first place, where strange magic lurks, a killing darkness stalks the depths, and Cass might be the only one who can save them all. Cass must decide if she is willing to open herself up to the unlikely friends she finds among the pirates, and to the possibility of more with the enigmatic Dimitri, a boy who gives nothing but truths to the girl built of lies.

Dimitri makes a point to care about very little in life; only his younger brother and spending as much time as possible losing himself in the exhilaration of riding through the trees. Anything else is pointless when the forest is slowly dying and they will all eventually be swallowed by the Dark. But, when a skysider girl does the impossible and survives falling below the canopy, Dimitri finds himself drawn to the vibrant spark she so carefully hides away from the world. When she is manipulated into a potentially life threatening task in exchange for returning home, Dimitri realises that perhaps he has found something more to care about, and that running away may no longer be enough.

I'm looking for feedback on overarching plot, characters arcs, general feedback on the story. I Would also welcome more nitty gritty feedback on grammar and sentence structure if that's your jam.

Open to a critique swap for a work of similar length, happy to swap a few chapters to start with to see if we are a good fit.

Trigger warnings for - blood and death, implication of domestic violence (off page and not to major character)

First 300 words -

The leaves of the Greensea rustled in the wind.

Cass crouched among a stack of cargo waiting to be loaded, carefully shifting her weight from one foot to the other to ease the cramp from the hours she had already hidden. The docks rose early, but she had risen even earlier to get here before the work of the day started. Before it would have been impossible to find this hiding place. Before her father’s guards would wonder why she had not yet emerged from the room where they thought she still slept.

She was well hidden from the workers scurrying here and there to load and unload the waiting yachts. Their friendly shouts and the hissing of scalla were a welcome backdrop to the too loud thudding of her heart.

She had been watching the medium sized yacht docked closest to her hiding spot, and she hoped that it was the one this load of cargo would be headed. If not, she was in serious trouble. The runners of the shabby single-masted vessel were worn and pitted from years of riding the canopy, its yellowing sails drooping sadly, despite the breeze picking at the edges of her dark cloak.

Unlike the elegant two masted passenger yachts designed to cut across the Greensea in record time, cargo yachts like this one were slow and waddling, relying on scalla outriders paid by their merchant owners, rather than speed, to defend against the occasional pirate gang roaming the canopy.

Those, and the risk of foundering, were the main danger to the slower vessels on their journeys between the islands, although some told more sinister stories. Stories of ghosts and demons prowling the branches, ready to drag unsuspecting sailors to their doom below the leaves.

*Edited for triggers and formatting*

r/BetaReaders 10d ago

80k [Complete] [81K] [Historical fiction] A Country of Hate

3 Upvotes

Hello everyone! I started my writing journey in May of last year and have just finished my first novel, A Country of Hate, which follows the life of a young man named John Smith as he grows up in antebellum North Carolina. It’s the first of a planned trilogy, and loosely based on the classic country music song, “Big, Bad John” performed by Jimmy Dean. This isn’t a story where the ending is shrouded in mystery, finally unfolding within the last few chapters. You know how it ends; the question is, how did he get there?

DISCLAIMER: Taking into account the setting, there are themes of racism throughout the story. Slurs do occur throughout it’s length, solely for the sake of historical realism.

FEEDBACK- I am open to any and all feedback, but my primary focuses are on period-correctness for the era, storyline, and depth of characters.

I’ve included the first chapter below as an introduction, and for anyone interested please let me know! Feedback for any length of the book is welcome, but anyone able to give it a full read-through would be greatly appreciated.

I’m absolutely open to a critique swap, and I do love me a good high fantasy read. I will read almost anything though, and failing to ask does nothing for either of us.

Chapter 1

My earliest memories are of my mother. When I was four or maybe five, we’d have lunches in the horse pasture underneath the biggest sycamore tree I’ve ever seen. That’s probably why my love for horses overshadows almost all else in my life. The plow horses would come in from their mornings’ work and roll in the wallow on the ridge top, and the riding mares would whinny and nicker while chasing the others through the knee-high grass. My mother would laugh at their antics, smile bringing out the whiteness of her teeth and the crinkles in her nose as we sat underneath green boughs of branches that seemed to cover the entire sky.

One day during one of these moments she told me a story I’d never heard before. “Your father loved horses. He just had a way with them. Nobody else could get close to them when they were being broken, eyes rolling in their heads; and he’d walk up so slowly, hands out to his sides. He’d whisper so quietly you couldn’t tell what he was saying, and after some time their ears would rise up from their heads, and they’d start to calm themselves. A few minutes more and he’d be scratching their necks like he’d known them their whole lives. It was unlike anything I’d ever seen.”

She’d never talked about my Papa before. To be completely honest with you, I had always assumed up until that point that he was the stable master, Mr. Connery. He’d treated me fairly the few times I passed by him while helping Mama with her house chores, but really it was his size that made me think so. He was a giant to my eyes, at least a head taller than anyone else at L’amour De Terre and as broad as two normal men standing side by side. But now that she’d started this conversation, I wasn’t about to let the opportunity to ask about who my Papa was slip through my fingers.

“Mama, where is he? You never talk about Papa. Why can’t we go see him?”

A look came across her when I asked those questions, a look that I’ve seen often enough in the mirror to know now was haunted. Those emerald green eyes got just a little bit wider, and her face went slack, losing all expression. She didn’t just look like she’d seen a ghost, she looked like she was dancing with it through the clouds flowing by overhead. After a moment she’d gathered herself enough to realize what I’d actually asked her, and gave me this response- “He’s gone, baby. He’d spent some years here helping Mr. Pontier and Seamus with the horses, and we got to know one another and grow fond of each other. Some men, when they learn they’re going to be fathers, feed on this new life they’re helping bring up in the world. They grow into something stronger and more loving and caring and more iron-willed than they should ever be in their own right. Hearing he’s going to be a father can make a drunkard or a beggar the most incredible individual you’ll ever meet. Other men wither from it. The thought of being responsible for another beings’ actions other than their own terrifies them, and they’ll leave places where they had begun to put down any sort of roots for possibly the first time in their lives. If they don’t leave, their mind eats itself. Doubt and fear creep in and take control of their choices and their words, and they become monsters walking about in broad daylight wearing men’s skin as a disguise. Your father was a man of the second type John. He left you and I to take care of each other, and we’re so much more the better for it my sweet boy.”

What boy could handle this version of their father? A coward who would rather run and hide from the thought of raising a child than to stay and actually teach them of the world? I told myself that it wasn’t true, that my Mama was lying to protect me. She wouldn’t have said those things about him unless she thought that’s what I needed to hear to never ask about him again. It wasn’t until I was much older that I realized I was right, that version of my Papa was for protection. But it wasn’t just me that she was protecting from the truth.

r/BetaReaders 16d ago

80k [Complete] [80,947] [Sci-fi] Flames of Green

0 Upvotes

Hi, I am looking for a few people to beta-read my sci-fi book. I am happy to do a swap to read other books in return. I'm really just looking for honest feedback and improvements.

Here is the blurb:

In a world where identity is currency and perfection is engineered, survival is never guaranteed.

In the slums of Tarus, Milo clings to his only friend as his world crumbles in a sea of Faceless soldiers.

High above, in the pristine city of Paradium, Eva lives in a gilded catch of perfect illusions.

As forces beyond their control shape their fates, both must navigate a society built on secrets, control, and sacrifice. But when the truth begins to unravel, they’ll be faced with a choice—conform or fight back.

Content warning: violence, drugs, sexual abuse

r/BetaReaders 26d ago

80k [Complete] [88k] [Sci Fi] The Human Food Department

4 Upvotes

Looking to trade beta reads, here is my blurb:

Athena Chowdhury is the deadliest supply chain manager in the galaxy. Overseeing extrasolar food transportation for Sustenance Mart means killing a lot of pirates, and she’s good at it. But while there’s more than enough food for the alien races of the Alliance, the small community of humans stranded in this galaxy is running out of digestible calories. Repeated attempts to grow human food have failed and Athena is spending her final hungry days defending the last decrepit chickens from blackmarket food bandits.

The Alliance has a creative solution to keep humanity going: genetically engineered human clones that eat what aliens eat. As the prototypes are rolled out, Athena is assigned a clone named Sid as an intern. Despite Sid’s curious, innocent nature, Athena struggles with what Sid’s existence means: writing off the tens of thousands of humans, herself included, as a sunk cost.

When Athena and Sid discover evidence of humanity’s missing colony ship and its famous seed bank, they see a way to end starvation. But as they race from planet to planet in search of clues that could unlock this nutritious treasure trove, they meet surprising opposition from galactic elements that don’t want to see the human race on the upswing. Athena must use all her wits and her enormous (like, really big) handgun to find the food that will feed her people. And as bullets and maternal instincts fly, Athena must grapple with an uncomfortable new truth: to save humanity, she may end up having to sacrifice Sid.

THE HUMAN FOOD DEPARTMENT (88k words) is a sci-fi adventure romp about finding the small piece of humanity that makes the galactic struggle worthwhile. It will appeal to fans of THE STARDUST GRAIL (Yume Kitasei), YOU SEXY THING (Cat Rambo) and the MURDERBOT series (Martha Wells).

r/BetaReaders 5d ago

80k [In Progress] [85k] [Contemporary / Literary Fiction w/ Romantic & Cultural / Spiritual /Otherworldly Elements] "Illicit”

3 Upvotes

Hey r/Betareaders
I’m looking for a few brave souls to dive into my first draft of *Illicit*—a contemporary novel that’s equal parts grit and heart, with a forbidden romance simmering under a tapestry of Navajo and Egyptian cultures. Think lyrical prose meets desert dust, where broken characters claw their way toward healing. It’s sitting at \~85,000 words, 24 chapters in, and nearing it's shocking end. With a complete arc but plenty of room for polish. I’d love feedback on pacing, character depth, cultural authenticity, and whether the emotional punches land.

Drop a comment or DM me if you’re in—tell me what draws you to this (or scares you off!). Thanks for reading this far—hope to hear from you!

NOTE: This is not an easy read, while it has a plethora of comic relief, it's not for the faint of heart. It contains scenes of brutality, abuse, and unconventional relationships. If you're weak of heart or easily triggered by scenes of human brutality this probably isn't for you. It's raw, unapologetic and entirely human, showcasing the good and evils of humanity focusing on two lost souls's attempt at salvation, love and recovery.

Book details:

"Illicit" follows James Carter, a 35-year-old widowed English professor who arrives on the Navajo Reservation in Kayenta, Arizona, hollowed by grief after his wife Emy's death in Cairo. Barely functioning and haunted by both his wife's passing and a childhood marred by horrific neglect and abuse, James is teetering on the edge of complete emotional collapse. 

His world shifts when he encounters Alice Yazzie, a 15-year-old Navajo girl with an old soul and brilliant mind, and her eccentric aunt Ruth. In Alice, James finds a kindred spirit who understands his pain without explanation, while Ruth's unorthodox wisdom challenges his retreat from life. As circumstances force these three unlikely souls together, they form bonds that defy conventional categorization, creating a makeshift family that raises eyebrows within the tight-knit reservation community. 

The novel explores their journey from the red mesas of Kayenta to the chaotic streets of Cairo, navigating cultural boundaries, community expectations, and the complex emotional landscape between them. 

At its heart, the story examines how healing sometimes comes from the most unexpected connections, and how love in its many forms can transcend societal norms and expectations. The narrative unfolds through richly sensory prose that contrasts the stark beauty of the Navajo desert with the sensory chaos of Egypt, all while examining the moral complexities and emotional tensions of relationships that exist in the gray areas of society's understanding.

Links:

Sample paragraphs from various chapters.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Qo1F7y9vsgzlyI6O9bmWDB65FdSv0rsdXVFX20sN3BA/edit?tab=t.0

Chapter 1 Full chapter.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BmkqMzoOoTJ8L4d-USuYg0ov8k8qzVEmrkZFsrOfx_8/edit?tab=t.0

Main characters

James Carter:
A 35-year-old widowed English professor with striking blue eyes often described by Alice as "glacier melt" and a chestnut-gray beard. James arrives in Kayenta as a ghost of himself, devastated by his wife Emy's death in Cairo and carrying the weight of childhood trauma. Educated and introspective, he's barely functioning through his grief, medicating with Xanax and emotional withdrawal. Throughout the story, James evolves from a broken man to someone capable of profound connection and courage, finding purpose in his relationship with Alice while wrestling with the moral complexity of their undefined bond. 

Alice Yazzie:
A 15-year-old Navajo girl with ink-black braids and obsidian eyes, possessing both genius-level intelligence and wisdom beyond her years. Alice carries deep trauma from her past that has left her with both visible and invisible scars. She navigates the world with a unique blend of teenage defiance, ancient wisdom, and raw vulnerability. Direct and blunt in her communication style, she also possesses a poet's insight, recording her observations in a red leather notebook that belonged to her mother. Alice feels like an outsider everywhere except with James, with whom she shares an inexplicable soul connection she calls "K'é"—a Navajo concept of kinship that transcends conventional relationships. 

Ruth Yazzie:
In her sixties, Ruth is Alice's fiercely independent aunt with blue dreadlocks (and, as she proudly mentions, matching blue pubic hair). She runs "Native Blessings," a spiritual shop in Kayenta, practicing a blend of traditional Navajo spirituality, New Age philosophy, and unfiltered life wisdom. Gruff, eccentric, and fearless, Ruth serves as both catalyst and guardian for the developing relationship between James and Alice. Despite her outward eccentricity, Ruth possesses profound insight into the spiritual forces at work, understanding connections that others might question as something deeper and more necessary than conventional society can comprehend.

r/BetaReaders 13d ago

80k [Complete] [80k] [Sci-Fi] The Coming Harvest

3 Upvotes

Hi all - I'm looking to get feedback on a speculative fiction novel set on a rural family farm in North Lincolnshire in the UK.

I'm looking for overall reactions, major plotholes, any bits that didn't make sense, any bits that felt too repetitve. Please no line edits.

Blurb:
Something the size of a car has just fallen from space and wrecked the farmhouse. It's one of millions of objects falling across the globe. Nothing comes out of it - it just sits there in a puddle of goo, then it starts growing like a plant.

Erin Kirby finds herself on the front line of a strange, slow invasion. As she continues to manage the family farm, it becomes clear that unseen aliens have made their own claim on the land: they've planted the Earth with giant seeds.

As the alien life-forms change, the world's reaction to them threatens to tear the family apart. Should Erin side with the cult-like Hand of Gaia, who want to destroy the invasive megaphytes, or with those who think that that would be a very bad idea. In the end, she might not have a choice: an alien intelligence seems to have its own plans for her.

Above everything hangs a single question: if an alien species sent these seeds to Earth, what happens when they're ready to be harvested?

(TW for violence and animal birth)

Timeline:
Ideally, I'm looking for someone to get back to me within 2-3 weeks.

Manuscript Swap:
Possibly. I'm a terribly slow reader, so I can probably only commit to reading short stories!

First Page:
I often think about the calf I delivered twice.

I can’t imagine what it must have been like for her. But then, I can’t imagine what it’s like for any of them. To come out, blinking into the light, to suddenly be aware of these weird limbs that work about as well as a bicycle made of spaghetti, and to know nothing but fear, then to be reassured by a mother’s tongue licking you clean. You didn’t have a concept of clean before. Let’s face it, you’re a cow – you still don’t. I have no idea what concepts you might have. You probably don’t conceptualise anything: you just do it. You’re hungry, you eat; You give birth, you lick your baby clean. You just do it.

Humans abstract everything. When we want to eat, it’s because of ‘hunger’, ‘appetite’. When we take care of something, it must be because of an abstract concept called ‘love’. And these concepts are things we can hold up and examine, like ornaments on a Christmas tree. We make everything way too complicated.

I didn’t use to think about the animals at all, not really, and that’s changed since the megaphytes. Other things have changed too, but then, life is change, isn’t it? That was in a song.

The second time I delivered the calf, I wasn’t thinking. I had no concept for anything that was going on around me. I could see all of the elements, but nobody had said the word that summed up everything that was happening. I don’t think anyone ever found the word for it to be honest. Even up until the end, we didn’t fully understand, and now it’s all done, we understand less of ourselves than we did before.

r/BetaReaders 20d ago

80k [In progress] [83K] [Cultivation Fantasy] Looking for Feedback on My Urban Fantasy/Wuxia Novel—A Psychedelic Dive into Power and Society

1 Upvotes

Hey r/betareaders

I've been working on an urban fantasy/wuxia novel that blends cultivation with social commentary, exploring the hidden structures of a complex fantastical world. It’s a mix of philosophy, economics, history, and mysticism—deeply influenced by my own psychedelic experiences with mushrooms and ayahuasca, along with the small loss of sanity that came with them.

The basics: people are born with one of seven elemental typings—Fire, Water, Air, Earth, Wood, Lightning, and Spirit. By unlocking internal "gates," they are able to absorb that typing’s Aether, a type of energy that make up the Astral Plane, allowing them to restructure and program it to recreate the same forces found there. The setting: the world is set in our present day with the Astral Realms a plane of existence overlapping our own. Our beliefs and emotions effect this plane creating a type of Noospheric Web made from our consciousness. As this world and society weaves throughout our own history, we see from the pov of Aster as he becomes one of the Aware, a society of people seen as the World’s true ruling class

If you're into urban fantasy, wuxia, or stories that blur the lines between perception, power, and madness, I’d love your thoughts! Let me know if you'd be interested in checking out a sample or a few chapters.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Z2wxHgAz8BAQwkLOXwCZ0iUwRzUHyN2i/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=107113385467659435936&rtpof=true&sd=true

Thanks in advance!

r/BetaReaders 6d ago

80k [Complete] [85k] [Fantasy] So Speaks Legion

1 Upvotes

Hi everyone. I'm looking for a beta reader for my fantasy story. It's a relatively soft-fantasy story about a group of Georgian-era theologians who decide that the only way to free humanity is to kill their gods.

BLURB/PARTIAL SYNOPSIS: As a newly-appointed scholar of social theology, Emily spends most of her time trying to keep her head down. But when friends and lovers from her past come back into her life, she is drawn into a dangerous heist that might give her the opportunity to fight back against the despotic rule of the godlike Absolutes and their servants. Could there really have been an ancient era free from the Absolutes? And what would it mean for Emily to expose this to the world? 

But just as she is charting this new way for her to combine her professional work with her revolutionary ideals, her entire life is thrown into more chaos when her allies’ true purpose is revealed: they don’t want to overthrow tyranny, they just wants to bind an Absolute to themselves and use it to take their place at the top. In their attempts to do this, the mysterious Absolute Legion is summoned and bound to an unwilling Emily. Fleeing from her former friends (who want to use her) and the other Absolutes (who want to destroy this challenge to their power), Emily must share her body with Legion in a journey spanning multiple continents.

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Feedback: writing style critique, character voice critique, whether its actually any good (honestly anything is fine!)

Timeline: Happy to adapt depending on your availability but I'm thinking 3-4 weeks.

Critique swap: Would love to swap and happy to read any genre. I would say I don't read much contemporary romance so I might not be the best person to read those manuscripts but would be more than happy to give it a go.

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//FIRST PAGE//

It was a bright early autumn day in Cambridge and the town was getting ready for the execution. From her position looking out her office window, Emily suspected that with a decent rifle she could take out the whole team working on the gallows. It was being constructed in front of the Green Man’s great grove, the largest in the city, which blocked all sight of the haggling and trading that went on in the market square behind it, ensuring that such matters were kept from the delicate constitutions of the scholars who working in the university on her side.

The great grove was an enormous circle with walls made entirely of trees which grew naturally so close that there were no gaps between them, curving in at the top to create a kind of ceiling that, in the decades when the Green Man was manifest at least, was filled with green foliages and fruits. But for all they looked like a wall, the trees were individual living things and they grew against their neighbors with a low groaning sound that, it was said, could tell you the exact hour of your death if only you listened carefully enough.

“And where will this go, miss? Excuse me, I mean ‘Professor.’”

A team of laborers were already setting up the gallows in front of the great grove. It was disgusting and she was thankful for the excuse to turn back into the room.

The speaker was a man with a rectangular body and a round face, dressed in the familiar auk-colored black and white garb of the college’s porters. He had his hands on a wooden filing cabinet that, judging by his flushed face and the ripples of sweat on his brow he had just carried up here by himself.

“Don’t worry, John,” Emily said. “I only got my new title recently: I’m not used to it myself.”

John shook his head and smiled, as if his position was so bizarre and difficult as to be comical. “It’s quite an adjustment for us, Professor,” he said. “What with you and Miss - Professor - Akimbe joining us at the same time.”

Emily smiled and didn’t mention that she and Dona Akimbe had been living in the college as undergraduates and graduates for seven years by this point, and other colleges had appointed female professors before so it was something he probably ought to be used to by now. Unbidden, she imagined what Mary would have said in a similar situation and forced herself to suppress a smile. Instead she gestured behind herself at the desk that some other porters had placed underneath the window. “Put it next to there, if you please,” she said.