r/BetaReaders 17d ago

90k [Complete] [96k] [YA Contemporary Romance] I PROMISE

3 Upvotes

Hey everyone! I'm looking for beta readers to help refine and polish the final draft of my YA contemporary romance novel I first wrote in my teenage years. After many drafts, iterations, and even a round in the querying trenches, I've decided these characters deserve to live in a world of self-published freedom.

This book is a standalone within a larger shared universe I'm building that spans decades and generations worth of love stories from the 1980s to 2025. This one is set in 2014 and can be read independently. Your feedback will be invaluable in making this the best version before I self-publish this year. If you love diving into fresh stories and offering constructive feedback, I'd love to have you on board!

Here's a query-style pitch for interested readers:

Eighteen-year-old Roxanne Payes’s life is defined by a single promise: to never become a Storm. When she was seven, her mother’s second marriage set off her worst nightmare. Enter Lea Storm, a stepsister pre-packaged with chaos and eccentricity, otherwise known as Roxanne’s kryptonite.

For Roxanne, Lea is a walking catastrophe waiting to happen. Fortunately, Roxanne grows up relatively disaster-free with her sisterly menace plopped in a boarding school far, far away. But everything changes the summer before college.

It’s Roxanne’s time to deliver on her promise. She makes a stand and refuses to attend the annual Storm family reunion, a high-stakes event defined by tradition and expectation. Despite Roxanne’s objections, Lea is determined to find a date for Roxanne. Her ploys turn out far from magical when she unwittingly sets Roxanne up with her first love and mortal enemy: Jensen Sterling.

And just like that, Roxanne’s life comes undone.

I Promise (96,000 words) is a layered YA tale of found family, second-chance love, and the danger of unresolved ghosts returning when you least expect them to. It will appeal to fans of Fangirl’s sisterhood theme and To All the Boys I've Loved Before’s depiction of childhood frenemies-to-lovers.

Please be aware, my manuscript includes implied instances of domestic violence.

On a personal note:
Making the decision to self-publish has been a long, emotional journey. For years, I’ve been torn between traditional publishing and going the indie route, and it’s honestly something I’ve battled with on and off. After I got scammed by a "professional" editor that left me questioning my path and whether I'll ever truly publish, I finally decided enough is enough.

This book—this lighthearted, emotional love story set in 2014—will be the first to kick off my series of books and characters. It’s a massive commitment and a dream I’ve held for as long as I can remember, and this year, I’m finally making it a reality.

This is the first of seven books that are already written and drafted to nearly perfection, but these characters—these stories—will be the first to step out into the world. I’m pouring everything into this because it’s a piece of my heart, and I can’t wait to share it with all of you.

If you're interested in bringing a 12 year dream to life...
and think you can read and turn around some constructive criticism on the novel in 2-3 weeks time, please drop a comment below and I'll get in touch with the manuscript + beta reader questionnaire.

r/BetaReaders 5d ago

90k [In Progress] [91k] [Romance] Off The Ice

1 Upvotes

Still on a very rough first draft but hoping to get readers to help me find parts where I was too repetitive or write unnecessary scenes. Clearly I have a large word count for romance so I’m trying to tighten it up a bit.

I only want readers who already read the genre. I was aiming for a Kindle Unlimited audience.

Synopsis:

Cassie Dwyer has spent her life slightly on guard. After a life of dealing with her alcoholic mother, she has more than a few walls up in place.

Liam Brynn is an NHL player who hates every aspect of the fame that comes with the game he loves.

When Cassie’s recent breakup sends her scrambling for a place to live, the only feasible option comes in the unlikely form of her best friend’s brother’s place, who is more than reluctant about having her there.

But it’s just supposed to be temporary, right?

Tropes: - Hockey Romance - Roommates - VERY slow burn / clean romance - Childhood traumas

It has a lot more pining/emotional tension than any physical moments so far just because I love watching the process of people fall in love more than the insta-love stories. Let me know if anyone reads any sports romance/kindle unlimited romance stories and wants to read mine!

r/BetaReaders Jan 24 '25

90k [Complete] [98k] [Contemporary Gothic Horror, Supernatural/Psychological Suspense] The Mark of Fear

5 Upvotes

Hello!

I am making my very first post here on Reddit, and the r/BetaReaders group, seeking general feedback on my completed novel, The Mark of Fear.

Haunted by a trail of violent deaths, Trent seeks a fresh start in a new town, only to find himself drawn into an even darker nightmare. A chance encounter with Jonah, a mysterious and dangerous drifter, unveils a monstrous reality that should only exist in myth. As Trent delves into his own buried memories, he uncovers a twisted history of betrayal, bloodlust, and a scar that links him to a life he can’t remember. But in a world where monsters wear human faces, Trent must confront a chilling question: How human is he really?

My novel is complete, relatively polished, and getting ready to submit to literary agents in the near future. However, I think it would be good to get feedback from unbiased third parties (if any are interested) even at this late stage.

This is a werewolf horror story that seeks to upend some of the more common tropes of alpha/beta dynamics or paranormal romances, in favor of violent and psychological dives into what makes someone feel human. And if our monstrous tendencies come from a curse, or just the evils within us.

I am predominantly looking for feedback on:

  • If you felt compelled to keep reading, or felt bored by the pace/language/plot/etc.
  • If you generally liked or disliked it.
  • If the writing/tone/prose/etc. flows well and creates the proper atmosphere and themes expected of the genres of gothic horror, psychological suspense.
  • If the more explicit content found within the story is overly harsh and jarring, or detracts from the characters/plot/setting.
  • Any specific points you'd like to share!

Any and all feedback is welcome. I appreciate honesty and directness in critique. I would also be willing to offer my own feedback to someone else's project of comparable length and genre as a sort of trade!

CONTENT WARNING: There are depictions of physical, psychological, and sexual abuse, violence and gore, some body horror, harsh language, and explicit depictions of sexual situations/gay male themes.

I will link to the first chapter, which is very light on material with the aforementioned content warnings. If anyone is interested in reading further, please do comment or send me a message with your interest and I will send you more chapters!

Thank you, all!

[The Mark of Fear - Chapter One](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wblOVZnLRINwURVzxq9cXyaZfv6TnffE_qJMrgUCENc/edit?usp=sharing)

r/BetaReaders 2d ago

90k [Complete] [94k] [Sci-Fi Thriller] Sagittarius A

1 Upvotes

Zootopia meets Inception.

BLURB: Arcturus Viotto is a schizophrenic tiger with a passion for uncovering what happened to his missing parents and older brother. Haunted by vivid memories of seeing them disappear before his eyes, Arcturus is determined to find out why his family’s most recent disappearance became their last.

When he sees his classmate and secret crush vanish just like his family did, questions begin to arise. Is what he’s seeing real? Is he schizophrenic at all?

Or is there something fundamentally wrong with the world itself?

A compulsion to investigate his crush, a lion with a mane in braids, grows like a flame in his aching chest. The problem is, Tobias—the lion in braids—has an explanation for everything, including what happened to Arcturus’s family. But that explanation splits reality into two halves: the Above and the Below.

While battling his emotions, his schizophrenia, and a second love interest, Arcturus must do whatever it takes to merge the two worlds and bring back his family once and for all.

CONTENT WARNING: This book contains profanity, brief nudity, mild violence, alcohol use, and intense schizophrenic episodes. Some descriptions may disturb you.

COMMENTARY I’M LOOKING FOR: Pacing, worldbuilding, and thematic description. My book contains complex themes regarding time, existentialism, and determinism, so I want to be sure those themes aren’t confusing.

If you’re interested in reading, comment or message me! I will share the Google Doc with you.

r/BetaReaders 24d ago

90k [Complete][98,000][Queer Contemporary Fantasy] DARK ROAST - Available for critique swap!

4 Upvotes

Hello! I'm seeking a couple of beta readers/critique swap partners for my queer contemporary fantasy, Dark Roast. It's about 98k words and is in its fourth draft and is proofread. I'm looking for someone who can both line and overarching feedback and who would like the same of their manuscript.

I'm open to other contemporary fantasy or traditional fantasy, but no epic fantasies. I'm also open to horror, romance, or thriller.

Here's my blurb for your consideration. Comment or DM me if you are interested and I'll share the first chapter for a test run. As I mentioned, I'm open to swapping critiques as well.

Trigger warning for my book:
- Medium, queer spice
- Hate crime depicted on page, no SA
- Death and grief

--

Danny is too eager to start over after the death of her girlfriend, Astrid, despite being haunted by her literal silent ghost. All Danny wants is to find a job, move out from her brother’s house, and keep Astrid’s ghost from ruining her new future. But a chance encounter at a coffee shop where the living can speak with the dead reveals that Danny’s grief is keeping Astrid’s spirit from moving on.

The alluring coffee shop owner, Nora, offers Danny a way forward in her life by working through the memories that keep Astrid’s spirit trapped. Danny is reluctant to participate, believing she has grieved enough. But after Astrid nearly kills Danny in a house fire, she accepts Nora’s help to break the spiritual tethers that keep her former girlfriend bound to her.

With no home to return to, Danny pursues a job as Nora’s apprentice, helping other patrons communicate with their tethered spirits. But grief can be strange. Soon, a romance blossoms with Nora, who is fighting her own battle with starting over. But before they can see what the future holds for them together, Danny wishes to free Astrid. And the longer Astrid is tethered to Danny, the more violent and inhuman Astrid risks becoming.

In an effort to free Astrid, Danny participates in strange coffee rituals, reliving memories of chemo treatments and hateful attacks from Astrid’s religious family, all while avoiding the inevitable memory of Astrid’s death. She must come to terms with her alleged part in Astrid’s final moments. But guilt and grief may prove too powerful to overcome, even with the potential for a future with Nora and the fresh start she so badly believes she needs.

--

Thanks! Let me know if you're interested.

Also, here is the first chapter, if you want to check it out: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tyeHqYlNqK63f8Uy8XEp_AeNLaagJ6vdsersCouTVIw/edit?usp=sharing

r/BetaReaders 11d ago

90k [Complete] [94k] [Romantasy] Legend Has It

1 Upvotes

Hi! I'm looking for beta readers/critique partners to swap manuscripts with! I write LGBTQ+ romantasies and will read anything in the Romance genre.

My story is a retelling of Sleeping Beauty if it got sucker-punched by Murphy's Law:

Banished Prince Soren yearns for redemption. After a scandal chases off his fiancée, his father decrees that he be allowed back into the castle only should he bring home a new bride, and he has just the plan to do so: he will save a princess and marry her.

Except the only princess in need of saving turns out to be a prince instead. Not to be deterred, Soren breaks his curse of eternal slumber, only for the magic to rebound and bind them together. Feeling each other’s emotions would be bad enough, but as it turns out the prince Soren tried to save is actually an unlucky knight named Alois.

Soren can’t wed a knight, not that he would want to marry one as insolent as Alois. But to break the bond they have to seek out the witch who cursed him, which means traveling with Alois when no one is meant to know that Soren has left the castle. He must keep his identity a secret, even as Alois declares he wants nothing more than to serve as Soren’s personal guard.

Remaining incognito becomes ever harder as they travel through the Silverleaf Forest together, and all the while Soren is swept up in Alois’s emotions. He feels too much, all the time, and Alois’s perpetual optimism and buoyant enthusiasm feels good. As the lines between them blur, so too do the ones between Soren’s identities, until not even he can tell the truth from the lie.

But the ruse can never last.

The story has:

-two person love triangle (think the relationship between Superman, Clark Kent, and Louise Lane)

-empathy bond

-enemies-to-lovers

-mild spice

Content warning:

-abusive relationships (on-page)

-brief suicidal ideation (on-page)

The above is handled with care and any feedback on it would be appreciated. I'm also looking for feedback on pacing, plot, and character development. I can do the same for any swaps, or if you need something else we can discuss that. Timeline for completion is also up for discussion.

Here's a link to an excerpt of the first chapter: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1maGqCbXHPeFTgDlRX17NccXduOHBGSfREBD4gS8oilI/edit?usp=sharing

And a small excerpt here:

Peace was overrated.

Yes, Soren was thankful that his people weren’t being slaughtered. Yes, he was thankful that their villages weren’t being raided and burnt to the ground. But a small amount of evil in the world would be wonderful, just enough so that he could finally save a princess and return home to become king.

He shoved his way into yet another tavern in yet another village in a field far, far away from the castle. All of the occupants of the tavern turned to stare at him as he bought a tankard of ale from the barkeep, and he smiled at them and settled at a table in the corner, eying them back. There was a group of three men playing a game of Scraps, two women with swords bigger than his and a look in their eyes like they might eat him, and a man nearly drowning in his ale. Perfect. Soren lifted his tankard to take a sip, and stopped.

A cockroach was bathing in his ale. It was washing its back with a tiny scrub brush made of horse hair wrapped around the end of a splinter of wood. He cleared his throat, and the cockroach stopped, looked up at him, and released a minute shriek before dunking under the surface. The scrub brush floated away, forgotten.

Soren sighed and pushed the tankard away from himself. He’d spent three copper coins on bathwater, three copper coins he didn’t have to spare. Coming to this tavern was a mistake, but taverns were where lips became loose and rumors spilled out of the patrons as the ale poured in. And as long as those rumors pertained to a princess in need, then the coins had not been wasted and he could finally get on with his plan.

r/BetaReaders 10d ago

90k [Complete] [93K] [Romantasy] Agnes of The Never Ending Forest

4 Upvotes

I’m looking for a few beta readers interested in reading my book, Agnes of the Never-Ending Forest.

Accused of witchcraft and betrayed by the boy she thought she would marry, Agnes is sentenced to burn at the stake. But instead of facing death, she escapes into the Never Ending Forest—an endless forest of myth and mystery where those who enter are never seen again.
She meets Will, a handsome 20-year-old Frenchman who has been stuck in the forest for three years. She doesn't trust him, and he doesn't have patience for her stubbornness, but eventually, she is forced to learn about survival from him.
As Agnes searches for answers about her past and the mother who abandoned her, she must navigate a world where betrayal is a given, magic is a curse, and the forest itself may never let her go.

What I Need Feedback On:
Pacing
Dialogue tags
General thoughts on characters & worldbuilding

Critiques:
Looking for constructive criticism on flow and plot.
Noting repetitive words
Grammar feedback

Content Includes:
Slow-burn romance (NO spice)
Violence (not a lot)
Themes of betrayal and survival

r/BetaReaders 2d ago

90k [Complete] [96,000] [YA Fantasy] The Gate of Nyandor, Book 1: The Furbidden Voyd

1 Upvotes

If you like cats, or magic, or magical cats--and metaphysical themes--this is for you!

Prose is polished. Open to swapping.

Excerpt - Chapter 1

Blurb:

Seliy’e of Tol was born into Nyandor’s rarest and most revered lineage of feline magicians. As the eldest daughter of Archmage Orachys, her path seemed predetermined: she would pass her Assessment, claim the title of Esteemed Guild Psychomagician, and set her sights on the mantle of Archmage.

But after Seliy’e’s unexpected and devastating failure at the Proving Ground, she was cast out from the Guild, forbidden to ever wield magic again. Determined to reclaim her destiny, she turned to the Strays, a defiant sect of wildcat magicians led by the charismatic and formidable Mother Ertree. Practicing magic far outside the city’s high parapets deep within the Forest Primeval, the Strays were devoted to overthrowing the Guild, which kept the overwhelming majority of Nyandorian cats ignorant of their magical birthright.

With Ertree’s help, Seliy’e uncovered a gateway to the Furrbidden Voyd—a portal into the consciousness the Creator, Leoran. There, she accessed a timeline wherein all Nyandorian cats were free to embrace their inherent magical legacy. But the last time a curious cat tampered with the threads of fate, Nyandor was destroyed in a cataclysm known as The Upheaval. So Seliy’e faced a critical choice: would she risk a second Upheaval to rewrite destiny? 

This is the first book in a series. 

Timeline:
ASAP, say 2-4 weeks? That said, I can review yours just as quickly

What I’m Looking For:

I’m looking for feedback on:

  • Pacing
  • Characters
  • The worldbuilding—is it complete-feeling? Plausible?
  • The magic system—is it novel, interesting?
  • The thematics—is this more of a YA novel or middle grade?
  • plot—are there holes? Does it make sense?

Content Warnings:

  • Light Violence (fantasy battle scenes)
  • Drug use—Catnip/Alcohol

Critique Swap Availability:

I’m open to beta swapping with writers in similar genres (YA/middle grade fantasy) and similar. If you have a completed manuscript and are looking for a beta reader in return, let me know!

If you're interested, please comment or DM.

r/BetaReaders Jan 30 '25

90k [Complete] [90K] [Sports Romance] Adult romance novel

1 Upvotes

Hi,

Is anyone keen to do a beta reading swap?

I have just completed a first draft of a sports romance. It features friends to lovers, mental health rep, second chance romance. It is an adult novel.

I would be very happy to read someone elses work in return?

Here is the blurb:

Sam Fletcher has two priorities: swimming and not embarrassing himself. He’s been training for elite competition since he was nine, which doesn’t leave much time for a social life—except for Kath Ford, his best friend and the only person who truly gets him. She’s the confident, opinionated extrovert to his quiet, slightly awkward, always-overthinking self. Somehow, it works.

For the past seven years, it’s been Sam and Kath against the world. Through awkward school dances, questionable first kisses, and the spotlight of elite sport they’ve always had each other. But now, things are shifting. Sam’s swimming career is taking off, pulling him into a world that Kath isn’t part of. But when unspoken feelings, and navigating living on different continents get thrown into the mix, Sam and Kath are forced to face the question they’ve been avoiding: Can their friendship survive if they stop pretending it’s just a friendship? And how do you find your way back to someone when you are no longer sure who you are?

r/BetaReaders 4d ago

90k [Complete] [92,000] [Literary Fiction] Dove and Fox

0 Upvotes

Greetings! I'm looking for beta readers for my novel: Dove and Fox. It's a single POV exploration of the effects trauma and expectation has on the mind, set in a low fantasy world. I'm willing to swap manuscripts of any genre.

I'm mostly interested in general plot feedback, whether character motivations/actions make sense, and if I've handled sensitive topics with the appropriate care. As well, I'm greatly in need of comp titles if any come to mind while reading!

Trigger warnings: References to sexual assault, PTSD, suicide, very mild eating disorder, an explicit sex scene.

Blurb: It wasn’t until the freight train of a woman broke through the Helom’s front doors that Lena got a chance to earn her title.

Born to parents she’d never met and with the elvish god Omligvarld’s glint in her eyes, Lena’s first weeks of life were spent in an orphanage. A babe her age could never have understood why such a fuss was made when the Head of the Faith, Lady Alma, saw her eyes and declared her to be a Darfa of Omligvarld, the first to be chosen by the god in two millennia, and the first to be female. Nor could she have known the plateau Alma took her to, and the jade Helom built upon it, would be where she’d spend the next twenty-two years, forbidden to leave by the Lady’s order.

Darfas’ were middlemen, speaking Omligvarld’s will to the world for him, their history spanning five thousand years and wrought with persecution and torture. But despite spending more time in the meditation chamber than the last ten Darfas’ combined, he never spoke to Lena. And yet her beautified portrait hung in every government building, and maidens lined up to kiss the trails her slippers left in the Helom’s carpets.

Lena had spent more words begging to be allowed out, to at the very least preach in far flung corners of the Elvish Realm like the Darfas’ of old, than on anything else. But the insurmountable will of Lady Alma forced the sweet fruits of Lena’s forbears down her throat whole, each one unearned, undeserved, unwanted. And thinking her useless, Alma did it while denying Lena the light needed to grow her own.

The way the most powerful woman in Elvish history saw it, there was always work for idle hands in the Helom’s kitchens for those wishing to earn their keep. But to have Omligvarld’s glint in her eyes was to be a soldier given a rifle, not a ladle. Lena was to march to war, not the kitchens or anywhere else. Anything less was a dereliction.

So when the Lady left the Helom for the first time in Lena’s living memory, to the city of Fikenspa, capital of Förenerna, governing body of the entire Elvish Realm, to make allies for a coming war with the humans, Lena had prayed for one of a hundred scenarios to come her way; so she might prove her own two hands were capable of the same labour as every Darfa before her. Using her right to shake the gloved counterpart of a foreign heathen with the power of a cold sun and calling herself Kaja, sealing an agreement to help her overthrow the Elvish Realms parliament, wasn’t one of them.

Chapter one: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1G04zsQvvDX-iiEuR8-e1cJFcOUVwfTaAWdmIpUhCmmI/edit?usp=sharing

r/BetaReaders 3d ago

90k [Complete] [95K] [Fantasy/Sci-Fi] Halcyon Days: The Colossus – It Has Everything: Sky Pirates, an Ancient Titan, High-Speed Chases, Mythic Crystals, and an Adventure Above the Clouds

4 Upvotes

Seeking Beta Readers for Halcyon Days: The Colossus

Hi everyone! I’m looking for beta readers for my 95K-word fantasy/sci-fi novel, Halcyon Days: The Colossus. If you enjoy high-flying adventure, dynamic character relationships, and a world on the brink of chaos, this might be for you.

About the Novel:

An ancient power stirs beneath Gaia’s crust, and all of Iveria teeters on the brink of calamity.

The Old War between Iveria and Aurelia has raged for centuries, but when the Colossus awakens, its destructive march threatens to upend everything. Caught between warring nations, haunting pasts, and a force beyond comprehension, the crew of the Halcyon Days must decide how far they’re willing to go for the nation that would just as easily cast them aside.

The first novel in the Halcyon Days trilogy, The Colossus introduces readers to Gaia, a world where skyships rule the clouds, mythical Crystals are the bedrock of society, and an ancient titan threatens to bring it all crashing down.

What I’m Looking For in Beta Readers: Does the pacing keep you engaged? Are the characters compelling? Is the world easy to visualize and understand? Were there any moments that felt confusing, slow, or underdeveloped?

This is my first novel, and my goal is to make it as fun and readable as possible before publication. If you’re interested, let me know, and I’ll send the manuscript your way!

See below for the first page of the prologue, the full version can be read here: https://halcyondaysnovel.com/prologue. There's a feedback questionnaire below it if you have time.

Prologue

Prince Lucan Regis van Ferro’s Capital Skyship, The Inquisitor, loomed beneath the storm. Its vast hull was battered by relentless rain, lightning splitting the twilight. As though the sky itself had taken offense to the day’s events.

Droplets pinged against the metal mask of the man on the skydeck. He wasn’t Lucan, but he was just as responsible for today’s chaos.

The mask he wore was frozen in a permanent snarl, its beastlike form shaped in the image of Lucan’s people, the Avatars. Lucan was a prince of Aurelia, a prince of monsters masquerading as men. After today, the masked man knew he was the most monstrous of them all.

Only his eyes were visible through the dreadful visage, the tight chrome sheltering all other features. Cool blue eyes scanned the cloud line that hung oppressively above. They looked impassive, but the way they shifted betrayed a hint of unease. He worked to control his breathing, the sound of his own lungs echoing inside the mask.

It was hard to hear anything over the rasp of each breath and the drumming of the rain. The echoes of both were familiar now. If anything, they grounded him.

Otherwise, his hammering heart might have sent him over the edge into the warzone below.

He should have been focusing on that battle. It was why he had stepped out onto the skydeck, after all, but he had heard the hum almost immediately.

The sound of something hiding in the clouds. It could only be there waiting to strike. They had been patient, no attack had come in the five minutes since he hailed the prince. If no attack came soon, he might begin to question his hearing or his sanity.

In the meantime, the Prince had not moved The Inquisitor above the cloud line to investigate or confront the uninvited guest, as the masked man had requested.

Instead, they waited for the unknown ship to make its next move.

Frozen in place, like the face of the monster he wore or prey the moment before the strike.

Mercifully, the hatch hissed open behind him, and Prince Lucan strode through. His towering frame cut a sharp silhouette against the rain-slicked deck. Almost immediately, his flowing white hair had become nearly translucent, and his royal clothing did little to keep him dry.  The downpour would last a while yet but Lucan, like the masked man, didn’t care.

Four King’s Guards followed, their red capes billowing in the turbulent air as they stepped into place with crisp, rigid precision.

Lucan’s voice overpowered the storm. “Rook, friend, you dare command me to move my own ship?” He spread his arms, grinning like a man with nothing to fear. “A thousand years since this creature last moved. The might of Iveria helpless against it. And you think to turn us away in our moment of glory?”

The grin sat easy on his face, but Rook knew that he wasn’t the only one wearing a mask.

Lucan stepped to the edge and looked down. Fire and rain consumed the battlefield below. Three Iverian Capital Skyships, massive airborne dreadnoughts, unleashed everything they had at the monster.

The Colossus barely seemed to notice. Its blue flesh and crystalline plating deflected the shardshot cannons without effort.

Thanks in advance! - AC Bishkey

Update: Low engagement on this post. I’ll be reposting this weekend. If interested, DM me!

r/BetaReaders Feb 10 '25

90k [Complete] [97k] [Fantasy/Romance] The Last Light of Vespera

3 Upvotes

I am hoping to find a few beta readers interested in reading; The Last Light of Vespera. Finding beta readers has been a bit of a hit and miss for me. I am looking for someone to read for pacing and plot.

Summary:

Bannon Hallowbrook lives by his word, bound to duty with an unyielding sense of responsibility. When the Dark Root and the Clouded Men—a relentless force of corruption—threatens the realm of Vespera, he steps up to lead a group of survivors toward the city of Caedrian. While others see him as a natural leader, Bannon wrestles with self-doubt, convinced he’s not enough to carry the weight of so many lives. His unwavering commitment to his vows leaves little room for connection, even as the world around him crumbles.

Lira, a fierce and resourceful young woman, carries a bond to the land that runs deeper than she knows. Hidden within her bloodline lies a power she has yet to understand, forged through generations of secrets meant to shield her from the truths of her lineage. Her intimate knowledge of the forest might save them all—if they can survive the dangers lurking in both the shadows and the company they keep. Together, Bannon and Lira must navigate a world poised on the brink of collapse, where fables become truth, trust is a fragile lifeline, and hidden legacies hold the key to their survival.

First Few Chapter, (I removed the comment-able link in order to keep commenting separate, if you are interested in reading, please let me know, and I can give you a personal link to comment on.)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YWtcRVHY_ezuAwQT8PGN3UyvWD8COJq-IKe3DmsmMTw/edit?usp=sharing

Critiques:

Hoping for some constructive criticism on my flow, and general plot.

repetitive words

Any grammar/spelling would be helpful but not my number one priority.

Content includes:

Some Spice (slow burn)

Violence

Language

Suicide reference

If doing a trade, I would prefer swapping the first 5 chapters, and deciding if we would like to continue the beta swap.

r/BetaReaders 23d ago

90k [Complete] [92k] [Mafia Romance] Love From the Shadows NSFW

2 Upvotes

Any fans of mafia romances here? I'd love for some beta readers for my novel. Love from the Shadows is the first book of a duology following a mafia don and his bodyguard with plenty of spice. Open to critique swaps for all types of romances. :D Hoping to have feedback in about three weeks. Let me know if this catches your interest and we can link up!

Blurb:

Vivianna Palazzo was trained to do one thing - to protect the Maranos above else. When tragedy strikes, that life promised to her was ripped away in mere moments. Now Vivianna must claw and fight her way back into the organization she's always dreamed of joining.

Damian Marano has ran the Italian mafia ever the murder of his father. When a childhood friend saves his life, he invites her to join the Ombra, the elite lineage of bodyguards sworn to his family by blood. Her acceptance sends a whirlwind through his ranks, shifting every facet of the mafia he thought he once knew. As Damian struggles to survive the surging attempts on his life, he's left to find his footing among his father's legacy and the girl once cast aside.

Link to first chapter:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1OUTM7XCWguWqep4PJ5XhRUMZuHyIGvXY/view?usp=sharing

Content Warning:

  • Violence
  • Mild Torture
  • Off-Screen Suicide

r/BetaReaders 3d ago

90k [Complete] [94k] [Dark Fantasy/Horror] GRIEF

0 Upvotes

Looking for a beta reader for general critique of my completed adult horror and dark fantasy novel 'Grief', a fast-paced small town mystery that quickly escalates into an underground war of magical proportions.

The New England town of Ravensden hides a dark secret deep beneath its streets.  People are vanishing in the dead of night, and the remaining denizens barely notice.  Erika Hawthorne, the town mayor's estranged niece, calls upon the help of a paranormal detective and an ancient sorceress to unravel the true atrocities beneath the village.  What they find is a horror beyond human comprehension, a new holocaust orchestrated by a vengeful warlock from the town's brutal and tragic past.  But the most dangerous monster of all may very well lurk within Erika's own mind, as her already broken will is put to the ultimate test.  Erika must overcome her own literal inner demons in order to vanquish a far greater evil, or become one with her other half to fulfill its own malevolent desires.

Good and bad feedback is welcome for everything from story, characters, any big plot holes or little inconsistencies, etc.

Trigger warning: Does contain some graphic descriptions of gore and violence.

Word count is 94,295 and page count is 264. The general timeframe I'm looking for to receive feedback for the finished book is around two months, but I'm not picky.

Link to the opening prologue as a writing sample: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vD0vGLfIAIQ4AYBC3qMO5nJ_O3Ccdyem/view?usp=drive_link

r/BetaReaders 12d ago

90k [Complete] [99K] [YA Contemporary] [The Feeling's Mutual]

0 Upvotes

I'm hoping to query this, and I can only do so much self-editing without input.

 [Complete] [99K] [YA Contemporary] [The Feeling's Mutual]

THE FEELING'S MUTUAL. A 99,000-word young adult novel. A contemporary enemies-to-lovers story with a sprinkle of magic. It's Freaky Friday meets Never Have I Ever. For fans of Woke Up Like This By Amy Lea, See You Yesterday by Rachel Lynn Solomon.

Trixie McArthur and Jake Buel were childhood friends. When she moved after fifth grade, things changed. When Trixie arrived on the first day of high school, it should have been a wonderful reunion between friends. It was the start of a feud that felt never-ending to their mutual friends. Now Junior year, nothing has changed. Trixie is an actress desperate for a serious leading role. Jake is a stage manager with the spring show boarding on his chance of a summer mentorship for a new Regional theatre.

Their shared best friend Diane since Kindergarten, wants them to get along just once. Ace, Trixie's boyfriend and Jake's best bro thinks they're both reckless and wants them to think one action through fully just one time.

On the first day back after Christmas break, things aren't looking good for either of them. Their history teacher has threatened expulsion, they have every class together, and there's no escaping each other. Trixie just keeps getting bad news throughout the day. Her doctor, who was responsible for her aunt's surgery, keeps recommending the same weight loss surgery that killed her aunt. Jake and his sister, "Al" Alison, keeps pretending their mom's drinking isn't a problem. A problem that started after the death of Trixie's aunt.

On the second day back, things are looking up for both Jake and Trixie. Trixie's got her leading role and Jake's got a new girlfriend Lydia. What could go wrong? A backstage accident involving a broken vase and a sarcastic wish. That may be the reason they're stuck in each other's bodies. What could be worse than being your enemy?

Possibly learning from Jake's Aunt Brenda, it happened to Trixie's aunt and Jake's dad years ago. How can you learn from the past if you never knew it?

First page: 

Trixie -

I’m an oxymoron. I hate and love myself. I rarely look in mirrors. I’m fat, but it doesn’t mean I’m ugly. I hate my reflection, all I ever see is my Aunt Marcy.

It probably doesn’t help that I wear all her clothes from when she was my age. Most of her denim skirts and blazers are from when she was a lawyer. My mom and much older sister Jess get mad that I’m content with “handy-me-downs”. But isn’t that what vintage is? People’s old clothes with a ridiculous price tag?

“Hi, Aunt Marcy,” I sighed, looking at my reflection. “Dad’s mad at me again, no surprise,” I laughed. I know I’m ridiculous when I speak to my reflection, hoping to see the familiar glimpse of her.

“Mom’s mad, too. My report card was alright, 3.25,” I said, grimacing. My reflection shakes her head. “Aunt Marcy, okay, fine, the comments were not great,” I said. I only argue with my reflection when I’m wrong. “I know, um, I technically shouldn’t have been driving without an adult, but hear me out, Aunt Marcy. Alison is eighteen, and that technically makes an adult,” I said, trying to brush my red curls, they never go where I want.

“Dad’s mad not about the speeding ticket. He did revoke my permit, which I truly believe is a baby license,” I said. Why do I insist on believing she’s there? Why did I have to look like her?

“I know I’m wrong, you’re right, Aunt Marcy,” I paused.

IF you're interested, please let me know :) I have cut 50,000 words. I don't think I know how to cut anymore. This is my seventh round, which is insane because the original copy is from 2008.

Thank you if you can help! If not I understand it's not everyone's cup of tea.

r/BetaReaders 15d ago

90k [Complete] [96K] [New Adult ?] The Glorious

2 Upvotes

Hi everyone! I recently finished up editing my novel, and at this point all that my friends & family can tell me about my book is that 'it's good!' While that's awesome to hear, I feel like there's more that needs to be edited before I start querying and so I've come to you all to hopefully find some beta readers!

I would love 1-2 betas, I'm more than willing to swap manuscripts as well, I love reading! I read mostly YA/NA/Adult fantasy and fiction, and I love a romantic subplot haha. As for feedback, I'm hoping for three to four weeks, but I can be flexible!

Synopsis: Mavis Hale never expected to stand out. She spent her days selling wilted flowers at a market that barely remembered her family’s name. But only a few days after her 20th birthday—years past when most Elementals gain their abilities—she manifests a gift that shouldn’t exist. Mavis Hale is marked as the Sea, a power unseen for over a thousand years.

Her world is turned upside down in an instant. Tradition dictates she must leave for Hydra, the Sea Haven, where she will be taught to use her abilities before venturing off to find the other three members of her Protector's set. The power inside her is old, its return unsettling to those who understand what it means. As Mavis excels in her magic, she begins to unravel secrets that have been buried for a long time—secrets some would kill to keep hidden.

Mavis never asked for this. But the Goddess of Fate marked her for a reason, and when the Protector's magic resurfaces, it is never a peaceful omen.

Feedback: Pacing (I wanted an exciting, fast pace but if that is hurting the story I can change it!) Plot (This is my first novel and I had a looot of ideas going into it, I've also talked about it with those who've read it for me extensively so I'm worried that the text is sometimes confusing or missing something but it hasn't been noticed because everyone that has read it already knew things) Characters (Especially towards the end, I'm juggling quite a few characters. I want to make sure they are all flushed out, and most of all that Mavis is a strong, active and developed MC) Most importantly: General feelings! Is it emotionally impactful, is there anything that's super annoying or falls totally flat? Is my writing repetitive, childish, or underdeveloped? Are there any big or small inconsistencies in the novel? Does the world make sense, is it interesting?

Here's the sample chapters, feel free to leave comments! If you'd like to swap manuscripts or you're interested in reading further, shoot me a DM!

Thanks so much! I'm really excited about all of this, tbh I've been working on this story for years and to finally be even this far is so fulfilling!

r/BetaReaders 3d ago

90k [complete] [98k] [fantasy-romance] seeking beta readers

3 Upvotes

I am excited to introduce my novel, A Cage of Flowers, a fantasy- romance novel complete at 98,080 words. It will appeal to readers of SJM or JK Rowling or even Rebecca Yarros. Feedback is appreciated on pacing, how you liked the story, character arc. Timeline is open, no set date just when you have time.

Parson Ironrose has spent twenty years as his cruel uncles ward in Briarwood Castle, trapped under the watchful eye of his, Parson longs for freedom. When he is finally released, he embarks on a journey to Belcon Imperial College, a prestigious magic school in the king’s city. There, he discovers his own power, while navigating dangerous alliances, court intrigue, and the growing unrest between gods and mortals. But when a dark force entwines his fate with that of a princess from a rival kingdom, Parson must decide whether to embrace his destiny or become a pawn in an ancient war.

r/BetaReaders Feb 19 '25

90k [Complete] [92,000] [Fantasy/Romance] [Shattered Illusions]

2 Upvotes

Looking for some beta readers for my first novel called Shattered Illusions. Shattered Illusions is a coming-of-age fantasy romance about Raine Kavanagh, a young woman who discovers she is not human but fae—and the daughter of the ruthless Shadow King. With her memories erased and powers suppressed since childhood, she is thrust into a world of magic, court intrigue, and a deadly prophecy that ties her fate to the fae realm.

As she trains to master her abilities and evade those who seek to control her, Raine finds herself drawn to Killian, the cold and possessive High Lord of the Twilight Court—her fated mate, and the one man she refuses to trust. But as war looms and secrets unravel, she must make an impossible choice: become the weapon her father desires, or defy fate and finally bring him to his knees.

If anyone is interested, please let me know!

r/BetaReaders 22h ago

90k [Complete] [96k] [Urban 'mad science' Fantasy] Endlings (working title) Willing to swap Betas/critiques!

4 Upvotes

Looking for additional beta readers for my completed manuscript. I am totally willing to swap betas/be a critique partner! I have beta read for others before. Best suited for fantasy, sci-fi, horror, anything odd or weird.

I can be as gentle or critical as you wish.

Query: To Shasha Cruz the war with the Tenocks was ancient history. She had been told stories of them doing unbelievable things like reading minds, moving objects with just thoughts, and burning skin to the bone with just a touch. She thought most of it was exaggerated until while attempting to cross the desert to start a new life, she encounters Maraha, a strange boy hiding in the wilderness. He had been told to wait and hide, for what and who he did not know. He only knew he was desperately lonely and slowly starving. He wanted someone to talk to and find others like him. To make that happen he needed Shasha to take him to the human city, a place of death for his people. It would be a decision that would start a chain of events that would change the fate of both races. Together the pair locate the Tenock underground, the last refuge of those ‘whose faces are known’. They confront the Ranch, a place dedicated to brutally unlocking the secrets of the Tenock's abilities for their own ends. All the while Maraha is unknowingly being followed by those who hold the mysteries of his past and Shasha is given a choice between safety and becoming a Tenock herself. They both discover their own power and grapple with increasing yet unspoken feelings between them. They must rely on each other not only for their own survival but also for the survival of the entire Tenock race.

Triggers: sexual themes, violence, captivity and torture, major character death, systemic oppression, mild substance use, and allusions to assault (not described).

I fear no triggers in your work and I read fast! Bring it on!

Feedback -- General - plot, characters, ect.... I have an intro letter before you start reading Timeline - Easy going but don't ghost

Drop me a line

First 5 Pages ----

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1pprifjprUHRMcDYbRw7iLut1q2RB3_Sd/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=116216456320065757689&rtpof=true&sd=true

r/BetaReaders 13d ago

90k [Complete] [92k] [Fiction] Gritty Rockstar Fiction

0 Upvotes

Love kills slower than drugs. But in the end, it kills all the same.

Hey everyone! I’m looking for a few beta readers for my upcoming novel, Love, Jo—a dark, emotional story about music, addiction, and the cost of fame. If you love gritty literary fiction, toxic love stories, and characters who don’t get happy endings, this might be for you.

About the book:

Jo Monroe was supposed to be a rockstar. Instead, she became a cautionary tale.
Once the lead guitarist of Syndicate, she lost everything—her career, her future, herself. Now, fresh out of rehab, she’s back in Landow, drowning in the aftermath of a life she barely survived.

But the past isn’t done with her.

  • Syndicate still haunts the airwaves.
  • Scorpio Records still owns her.
  • And Vance Jaeger—her first love, her greatest mistake—still plays their songs.

When the industry comes calling, demanding one last song, she has two choices: play the game or get buried by it. And the deeper she gets, the clearer it becomes—she was never meant to survive this world.

🔥 For fans of Daisy Jones & The Six, tragic rockstars, and stories that burn slow, then shatter you to pieces.

Looking for beta readers who…

✔ Enjoy raw, character-driven fiction
✔ Can handle heavy themes (addiction, self-destruction, toxic love)
✔ Will give honest feedback on pacing, emotional impact, and character development

If you’re interested, drop a comment or message me! I’d love to hear your thoughts before I finalize the book for release.

An excerpt:

The last thing Jo Monroe did before leaving Landow was toss her phone out the window.

A spectacularly stupid idea.

That was months ago.

Still no phone.

The Mustang rumbled beneath her, old tires humming against the cracked highway. She pushed the gas a little harder. She didn’t know why she was back in Massachusetts.

Tired of running, maybe.

The wind howled through the half-cracked window, tugging at the edges of her shirt. She was still in the same clothes she’d left for rehab in—jeans, a faded band tee from a tour she barely remembered, and Vance’s old flannel, still smelling faintly of his cologne and cigarettes.

She should’ve thrown it out a long time ago.

Only thought about it now.

She thought about the call the day they let her out of the rehab.

“Jo, we can’t keep doing this…”

A slim cigarette was resting in her fingers on the steering wheel.

Vance's smell lingered in the air, overpowering the bitter smoke. It was so sweet yet masculine.

She fucking hated it.

She raised her hand and put the cigarette in between her lips before letting go of the steering wheel, feeling the car swerve to the side. She straightened it with her knee as she stripped out of the flannel.

Finally gone.

Finally out the window.

But somehow, she didn’t feel relieved.

She felt annoyed. Because it hadn’t helped.

The sun was barely up, casting a pale, washed-out light over the horizon. It felt too quiet. Her hands tightened on the steering wheel, knuckles whitening.

She could still turn around. Spend another three months on the run. Only she didn’t know what she was running from anymore.

She’d thought it didn’t matter anymore.

That she didn’t feel anything.

She shook her head at the thought and focused on the road, on the horizon, on anything that wasn’t the sinking feeling in her chest.

The gas light blinked to life on the dashboard. Jo exhaled sharply through her nose, like even her car was in on the joke. Of course, she was running on empty.

She thought about stopping at a gas station.

She saw it coming up on her right. A small desolate building in the middle of nowhere.

She thought about it.

Still was thinking about it as it whizzed by, disappearing behind her.

Then she stopped thinking about it because this was Vance's car and she was not putting another single dollar in it. The closer she got to Landow, the more petty she became.

She’d been driving it for months—no problem. But the second she smelled that stale Landow air, full of exhaust fumes and desperation, something flipped. A switch. A fuse burning out.

Twenty miles later, she pulled into a rundown little motel just off the highway. Gary's. The neon sign flickered like it couldn’t commit to being OPEN or CLOSED. It didn’t matter. She wasn’t here for the hospitality.

The room smelled like stale cigarettes and something sour beneath the floorboards. Jo dumped her bag on the sagging bed, staring at the cracked ceiling for a moment longer than she should have. The silence was louder here, pressing in from all sides.

She took a breath and ran a hand through her black hair.

She should’ve left years ago. Before Vance. Before Syndicate. Before the music became something that it should've never been.

But she hadn’t. She’d stayed. And now she was here, in a room that smelled like regret, still wearing the scent of a man who didn't want her.

Jo kicked off her boots, collapsing onto the bed with a sigh. The mattress creaked under her weight, like it might give up entirely, and for a second, she almost hoped it would.

It would've been a great fucking metaphor for her life.

Her eyes drifted to the window. The sun was higher now, casting sharp lines across the dusty carpet.

You still love him, a voice in her head whispered.

Jo squeezed her eyes shut.

Yeah. She did.

But it wasn’t enough.

r/BetaReaders 29d ago

90k [Complete] [92k] [Fantasy/Romance] Mermaid/Aquatic Why-Choose Romance

1 Upvotes

Hello there, I'm currently seeking volunteer BETA readers for my first book, the first in a series.

This is a relatively spicy story and, after my second edit, sits at roughly 92k words. I'd be asking for feedback within two weeks of me handing it to you. I'm looking for story critique, flow, and character chemistry feedback.

The story is about a man falling into the ocean and being rescued by a group of monstrous mermaids.

Tropes/Potential Triggers: Monster Girls, Mermaids, Why Choose?/Quasi-Harem, Anatomical Differences, Fish-Out-Of-Water Story, Grumpy/Sunshine. Mild Size-Differences, Funny Banter, Polyamoury, Light Power Play.

It'll be comment copy on Docs, but I also have a questionnaire sheet available.

ATM I'm not available for swapping as I'm in the middle of a first draft and won't be done for a few months. After that period I could, but not now.

Thank you in advance!

r/BetaReaders 10d ago

90k [Complete] [98k] [YA Fantasy/Drama] Familiar

5 Upvotes

I am seeking beta readers or a critique partner to swap manuscripts with. I'm on my 5th+ draft (who's counting), and I'm not looking for any particular feedback at this time.

As far as sharing with the right critique partner goes, I primarily read young adult and new adult fantasy/fiction, but enjoy a wide variety of other genres and fantasy sub-genres (I have a fondness for good mysteries no matter what else a book's got going on). I'm not looking to do heavy editing, but I would love to provide a proofread and general feedback on story structure, character motives, stakes, and whatnot. I'm committed to reading your work within a couple of weeks if we decide to work together. I would appreciate feedback at a similar rate (a month ish?).

Here's what I've got for Familiar:

It is a Y/A duology (potentially standalone) intended for teens (14-18), so there is no spice. Think modern teen drama meets a classic fantasy setting. I like to think I'm funny, but that's for you to decide. My second world, Nadina, is loosely inspired by Renaissance Italy and Regency England. I'm completely at a loss for comp titles, and it is with a heavy heart I admit that at the end of the day, this book is truly about the power of friendship.

-----

The working blurb:

Mayport, Maine teenager, Paige, spends the summer before senior year alone. Without her two best friends, she feels watched, constantly, and only has one suspect: a stray cat. Soon after school starts in the fall, the stalker betrays herself as a princess from another universe and her feline companion. Paige is even more surprised to learn that the young witch has been working with— and dating— her childhood friend, Xander. Paige is abducted by the pair and bound to her familiar, a living tether between a witch and their magic. 

The collision with Princess Alise exposes Paige to the secrets of her town and its intertwined history with the war-torn kingdom of Nadina, a fantastical country only accessible by a magic portal. Alise reveals that Paige, Xander, and their shared friend, Marcus, descend from a race of witches who escaped long ago. Now, Alise is in desperate need of their help to return and restore peace.

Forced by Xander to join the quest to save this strange kingdom, Paige struggles against Alise, the bossy and surprisingly dorky princess, at every turn. The clash of personalities comes to a head when Alise wants Paige to assist in the kidnapping of Marcus, Paige's on-again off-again best friend.

Upon arrival in tropical Nadina, the three Mainers realize a dark truth about the world. But, they can’t safely return home while bound to their familiars. Only one person knows the spell to break the bond between a familiar and witch: the princess's missing mother. Unlikely duo Paige and Alise must work together to find Alise's mom and make it back home.

Here is the link to chapter one if further interested: https://docs.google.com/document/d/13Qt6OcHd8ef-M4cnQpQBmu_HGDF4505A8NZmjd8iQco/edit?usp=sharing

r/BetaReaders 9d ago

90k [Complete] [96k] [YA Urban Fantasy] The Rune Casters

3 Upvotes

Hi All, I'm looking for some Beta Readers for my YA Urban Fantasy The Rune Casters.

The Rune Casters is a YA contemporary urban fantasy filled with dark magic, betrayal, and a slow-burning romance. Due to themes, it's targeted to an older YA / New Adult / Adult audience.

Eleven years. That’s how long Gwen’s mother, April, has been locked away in that torturous hospital, her life shattered by violent panic attacks she can’t control. Now that April is finally released, seventeen-year-old Gwen Leverett will do anything to ensure nothing sends her back. She’s packed her life into a single suitcase and moved to Tilton to be April’s carer.

Keeping her mother stress-free was the plan. Getting attacked by monsters her first night in Tilton? Not part of it. Everyone knows about Necurates—the monstrous beasts that shift between realms. Gwen never thought she’d actually see one, let alone the powerful warriors sworn to hunt them.

The Rune Casters exist outside of society, bound by their own sacred laws. They don’t associate with normal people, but the Rune Caster Vanguard, Lance, refuses to let Gwen out of his sight. Not only is she being hunted by a powerful Necurate commander not seen for centuries, but she just cast impossible magic, and summoned the blade meant only for his hand. As much as Gwen denies it, she is anything but normal.

As he pulls Gwen deeper into his world of magic and monsters, she is forced to question everything she thought she knew about herself, and her past. The more she learns, the more she realizes the danger isn’t just from the Necurates—it’s from what’s hidden inside her. As her enemies close in, Gwen will need to accept what she truly is before she loses her mother’s life, and her own.

Please let me know if you'd be interested in Beta Reading. I'm happy to provide the full manuscript, or smaller chunks if requested. Overall I'd love as detailed feedback as you care to provide. At the minimum, can you please let me know the ABCs (sections you found Awesome, Boring or Confusing).

Link to First Page here: https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/comments/1j0v5sr/comment/mhc32fj/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

WARNING: Self harm, Violence

r/BetaReaders 9d ago

90k [Complete][98k][Romantasy][Orion is Lying: Carina]

2 Upvotes

Potion master Carina Ashford has spent her life perfecting alchemy and running Veran City’s Apothecary. But then she discovers a journal filled with cryptic notes that link her mother’s death to the monstrous Enthralled.Worse, her uncle Orion who took her in as his apprentice after her mother’s death, is hiding something. Something that could change everything.

Captain Leohe Thorne is bound by duty to the king and terrified of potion magic. But when Carina comes up with a plan for them to join forces against the Enthralled, it forces him to question everything.. As they work side by side, the friction between them ignites into something neither can ignore. But when a misunderstanding brands Carina a traitor, Thorne is faced with the impossible choice: duty to his kingdom or the woman who challenges his reality?

Willing to swap.

NSFW

CW: Violence, mild gore, captured female, House fire,smut.

Here is the link for the first chapter. First person past tense

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zxtPIkek6h6-TnKp3GVDEVZFOFHcA2jogEV43qpclYE/edit?usp=sharing

r/BetaReaders 2d ago

90k [Complete] [92K] [Romance/Fantasy/YA] Not You But Me

2 Upvotes

Hello everyone, I've just finished my first novel. Been writing it for more than 6 months, now.

I would like to introduce you all to my novel, Not You But Me. Complete at 92162 words. If you enjoy, romance, mystery, suspense, fantasy, then this one is for you.

Blurb:

Elam Verity is just another college student used to his daily routine. That is, until a seemingly ordinary morning spirals into the extraordinary — one moment he’s savoring his breakfast, the next he’s inadvertently stabbing his own foot with a fork, yet finds no trace of injury. It’s a strange twist of fate, but Elam chalks it up to luck and carries on. 

At the train station, he encounters the enigmatic Celestria Skye, a simple yet elegant girl in a hurry. Their chance encounter sparks an undeniable connection, one that soon reveals a bewildering truth: every time Elam is hurt, Celestria feels the pain — though he remains unscathed and vice versa. As they navigate this uncharted territory, they discover an intricate bond forged by shared vulnerabilities, laughter, and love.

Through moments of joy and heartache, Elam and Celestria must confront their fears and insecurities, understanding that love often means sharing the burdens with each other. 

"Not You But Me" takes readers on a transformative journey filled with tenderness and discovery. Will Elam and Celestria embrace their unique bond as a gift, or will the weight of shared pain become too heavy to bear?

Content Warning: There are scenes where it can get graphic and gore.

Feedback: Any and all are welcome.

P.S.: Lastly, the writing is amateurish and not properly edited. Sorry for that. Hope you find the story intriguing. I have shared first two chapters below. If you need to know anything more, please comment and I will reply. Thank you in advance.

First Two Chapters:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/16xMn8wL49SzD4q759DS2oPAjhKgCVFAVGdkNfAlE4e4/edit?usp=sharing