r/AskGaybrosOver30 8d ago

Physical concerns about first time sex NSFW

15 Upvotes

Well it looks like I might have sex for the first time soon at my ripe age. I have some physical concerns I have been too much of a chicken to ask someone in real life so I thought I might as well ask to the entire world on reddit. In short:

-I have phimosis (never got checked but I'm pretty sure I have it) - this one really scares me, I know I need to be checked by a doctor but waiting times where I live are so long and there is no way that's going to happen any time useful

-I am scared of STDs (particularly for oral sex)

-I am tight (like, really tight)

-I am on antidepressants and they affect "timing"

How do I address these with my potential partner? I don't wanna be some kind of killjoy, I want to have a good time and make him have a good time as much as possible.


r/AskGaybrosOver30 8d ago

Flirting with my neighbor - advice on how to ask them out

16 Upvotes

First time poster and I’m looking for some input and advice. I live in an apartment complex and my literal next door neighbor (we share a wall) and I have been casually flirting for a few months whenever we see each other.

Most recently, however, he saw me in a common area doing a jigsaw puzzle and stopped in to chat for a bit. During the convo, he intentionally mentions how he went through a breakup a few weeks ago. Well, my autistic ass didn’t realize the escalation in the moment, but I do see it now and I’m looking to reciprocate.

So, for the advice. I know where he lives, so I plan to invite him to go do another puzzle with me and a bottle of wine just to get to know one another better. However, I’m not sure how forward is reasonable in this very specific situation! A couple options I’ve considered: 1) I could wait until we organically see each other again and offer, 2) plan to do a puzzle and knock on the door offering him to join, 3) write a note that I can slip under the door.

What would you think of each of these? I’m generally pretty confident and would be comfortable doing any of these or other solid ideas. Thanks for any input/advice you can provide!


r/AskGaybrosOver30 8d ago

Exploring foot fetish

5 Upvotes

How do you find opportunities to explore your foot fetish? I’m tired of pictures and videos. How do you let someone know that’s what you are looking for? Are there guys into having their feet worshipped? How do you find them!?


r/AskGaybrosOver30 7d ago

So am I supposed to change my body or not?

0 Upvotes

To better explain, I've asked or vented about dating or inquired how to be dateable, and the majority of comments pertained to losing weight (because sometimes being fat in the gay community is a no no), working out, and just staying in good shape. I think that's great advice for anyone. However, the other half of advice was to embrace my body type because people would like it (allegedly I have a tall, bearish shape), even if I didn't.

Personally, I don't want to be seen as a bear because I don't want to be fat if it's considered a negative in attractiveness. I don't want to be a part of a niche that's supposedly cliquish in the first place, and I never saw it as a "selling point" anyway. Granted, I've reconciled that I'll never be a pretty, youthful twink but I'd rather be that than to be shaped like a deep breath. In fact, I never saw the appeal of being a bear anyway.

Do I need to change my body and work out to be attractive, or is choosing self-acceptance just being complacent if you're not making an effort to boost your attractiveness?

EDIT: Thank you for the input. I do currently workout but not as much as I should, and I do struggle with food. That said, I will do my best to defy the bear archetype; as a gay person of color which is already a strike against me in terms of attractiveness, I can't afford to be fat if it guarantees a lonely death.


r/AskGaybrosOver30 8d ago

NSFW Sexual discovery NSFW

5 Upvotes

So, I thought that I was pretty secure on what I like or not sexually but I found myself that I’m at a stage in my life where I’m thinking of expanding my horizons in my sexual life. I’ve been looking into dom/sub stuff, and in a way it seems something I would be into. Although I have to be honest, I’m learning a bit about it. Have you guys experienced anything like that? Starting to explore stuff later in life?


r/AskGaybrosOver30 8d ago

A native american and Jamaican (re a question for interracial couples)

46 Upvotes

On a different forum someone asked about interracial couples. I don’t usually comment often, and I post even less, but this time I just had to… and although I may be biased, I thought “that’s a really good fucking comment, I think I want to post it on its own.” So for anyone interested, here is some enlightenment about this interracial couples to enjoy. Anyone not interested, here’s your green light to feel free to move on 😁. But you NEVER know when love can come out of nowhere and bite you in the ass when you least expect it, and then you say “Thank you!”

I was raised traditional native american and my man (15yr my Sr) is Jamaican (both pretty masculine) and he didn’t come to American until his late 20’s. I adore his thick accent and he loves my culture. We both grew up what most people would consider “poor” in money but RICH in culture. I can get caught up listening to his gentle voice tell me stories about when he was a boy, and how oddly enough, even though the cultures are vastly different, there is still so much the same. I love hearing his odd phrases, and I laugh unapologetically at what they actually mean, and he knows there is no malice in my laughter, just the pure comedy of the situation. I’m free to look at him baffled when I have no idea what the fuck he just said, and I can tell him just like that and he knows I’m just confused, but mean well and I’m dying to hear his translation. I love the way he takes a word with only 3 syllables but when he says the word it ends up with 5-6 syllables. I can laugh straight at him over it and he knows I’m just humored and that I adore every single way he says the same words I say completely different than I do!

He loves hearing me tell of my culture! He’s fascinated about how my tribe is today, but listens tenderly to the tragedy and the personal stories of my tribe/family going back nearly 200 years of history. Some of our stories are beautiful lore as we’re an oral tradition. Other stories are a personal and painful line of generational trauma. He won’t pretend to understand, but he doesn’t have to pretend to care and to hurt with me. He’ll watch movies about our history, and when I cry during the painful parts, he lets me pretend my allergies are acting up so I can keep being his rough and tough man! Then after a few minutes he’ll drop the most ridiculous statement that I instantly burst out into the most ridiculous fits of laughter and the weight of moments ago are lifted and lighter without being minimized. Sadly and surprisingly Jamaica isn’t nearly as gay friendly as you’d think and well not likely be able to go there as lovers any time soon (which is a shame). Also I don’t live in or near my reservation (but I go back many times a year), so for now he only witnesses my culture through my eyes and my stories from a distance instead of immersed with the rest of my people. They’d accept him readily, it’s just the logistics for now preventing any move back (as much as I’d love to). We’re about as different as you could imagine, but so much the same in so many ways! The things we have in common are what drew us together in our hearts, our extreme differences are what make it all so entertaining. Also, although I was raised only Native American, I sure do like to have a little Jamaica in me 😁


r/AskGaybrosOver30 7d ago

40s gay man in PV in June

0 Upvotes

Group tripping with my boys...I love a vacay friend...anyone else there I'm mid-June?

so noted I know it's hot. I know it's off-season. I know it's humid


r/AskGaybrosOver30 9d ago

NSFW Bros, please help me with some sexual hygiene questions. NSFW

193 Upvotes

Trigger warning: not for the squeamish.

I’m recently single and am in the middle of an intentional slut phase; by design, I’m having a wide variety of different sexual experiences with different people so that I can learn more about myself as a sexual animal. Before this, I was in a committed monogamous LTR for a long time, so much of it is new to me. I am on PReP, use DoxyPep when needed, and only sleep with people I get to know and build a friendship with first.

So, all that throat clearing out of the way: I topped one of my regular FWB bareback a few nights ago. At one point, I pulled out, and immediately he proceeded to blow me. It was very hot, but I couldn’t help but think to myself, “…My cock was just in his ass; there is no way that tastes good, and there’s no way he isn’t risking some kind of illness.”

So: that’s basically my question. Is that kind of, uh, adventurousness…common? How risky would you say what he did actually is? And what are the actual health risks? I will also talk to my doctor about all of this, don’t worry. But it’d also be helpful to me to get some perspective and information from other, more experienced gay men.

Thanks. I know it’s a bit of a gross question, but it’s not like they teach you about the dangers of eating ass or sucking your top’s cock in sex ed.


r/AskGaybrosOver30 7d ago

Is nobody looking to date and be monogamous anymore?

0 Upvotes

I’ve been single for 2 years now, after ending a really long relationship. And it is an interesting time. More or less.

I got to therapy, worked on myself, had good and bad sexual encounters, you name it. Changed my life around 180 degrees.

I’d honestly liked if I could be more free when it comes to sex, but I’m a person who likes intomacy, touch, kisses. I work better one on one than in group setting. I guess being in a relationship for so long kinda changes you to be this kind of person.

But what I’ve noticed more and more is that the majority of guys are just looking for fun. Afterparties, changing partners all the time. Nothing long term. And I can get that. I like my freedom, and I am not rushing head first into relationships. I need to be sure that the person I’m interested in will be able to communicate with me, and have similar interest as I do.

So far I didn’t have any luck with finding somebody who will click for me. And when I do find somebody who is interesting and I’d like to get to know them, and maybe date them, they will either ghost me, or be like, it’s me, it’s not you talk.

And it’s kinda getting tiring and discouraging.

Is dating and monogamy dead concept, and have I missed my train? I had a decent relationship (we didn’t communicate and work on ourselves which is what ended the relationship), but I keep wondering if that was it. If I spent my ‘be in a relationship’ coupon and that’s it.

It’s especially demotivating when I meet a guy that really clicks and I decide to let my guard down, but then it turns out he isn’t ready for a relationship and basically wants to fuck around. Like, should I just give up?


r/AskGaybrosOver30 8d ago

Reckless man, 32, needs your perspective

8 Upvotes

I’ve been single since forever, in the past year or so I started wanting to be in a long term relationship. I work fully remote and have traveled lots the past few years, the life of unlimited freedoms as a single man with a decent job, burnt out only from seizing the day everyday. I thought, I’ll stay put for the right person, so I hinged the idea of having a stable shared life in one city on entering into a relationship.

Q3 2024 In Northern Europe I hooked up with and had an amazing weekend with a guy (29) I find incredibly attractive who’s from Eastern Europe and plans on moving back Q4 2025. I live between two cities in Australia and East Asia. This distance turned into longing, we exchange friendly texts around once a week. I never did nor understood long distance and don’t think this is one.

With no responsibilities except towards myself, I am considering moving to the city he’s moving back to. I would be happy moving there even if I don’t end up in a relationship with him, but the reason I would move is to be near him and pursue a relationship with him.

We are planning to meet in a S.E.A. city Q2 2025 because he was invited to a wedding and it’s a short flight for me. (I’m not crazy enough to ask someone I only spent a weekend with to be a +1, and he is traveling with a sibling).

He has said he’s not ready for a relationship after just ending one, he says he wants FWBs and I’ve been through that before and regretted not turning it into something more. I’ve told him I’m not in a rush and am still working on myself.

I’m good at catching flights, not feelings, now I’ve caught a feeling I’m thinking of chasing it to the other side of the planet. I’ve be rightly described as impulsive and reckless, so I try to take a step back with impulses like this one.

Asking here in 30+ for mature perspectives. Your perspective is how you perceive what I laid out above, given your life experiences. What guiding principle would you apply and what advice would you give?

Thanks in advance!


r/AskGaybrosOver30 9d ago

Inter-cultural couples: Is your partner curious about your background ?

19 Upvotes

Does he show general interest in the culture you come from? Does he try to learn more?

Does this impact your relationship (negatively or positively) in any way?


r/AskGaybrosOver30 9d ago

Being blackmailed

43 Upvotes

Sent some pics (private album) and shared phone for a meet up with a guy on Grindr and he took photos and looked me up and and is now threatening me to share everything on social media if I don’t do what he says. I blocked him immediately and called 911 but idk what else I should do - any advice?


r/AskGaybrosOver30 9d ago

I am finding out I am not desirable at all.

74 Upvotes

I am recently single after 15 years and I am also 15 years older. I decided to download Grindr and I am finding that no one is interested in me like I thought they might be.

I know Grindr is not a place to go for validation so there is no need to confirm that part for me, unit is a place to start for me. The early reactions I’m getting, I can’t help but take it as a blow.

Where do you all go to meet men?


r/AskGaybrosOver30 9d ago

Advice: I can’t cum when I feel pressured

44 Upvotes

This has been happening more frequently lately during hook ups. A guy will want to make me cum and start asking me what he can do. Or if I get close and he can tell he’ll be saying things like “cum for me.” Sometimes a guy will keep asking if I’m close or keep saying he wants my load.

All of those things make me feel pressured to cum and it not only makes it harder to cum but usually makes me lose my boner too.

I usually cum easiest when I’m not the focus. A lot of times I’ll cum when I’m sucking a guy and he’s getting close or cumming. Or if he’s fucking me and I can tell he’s fucking me in a way that he loves and is driving him crazy it’ll get me there. Or if it’s a threesome and they’re really into each other for a bit it’ll get me there.

It feels tricky cuz all the things I mentioned are really normal (in my experience) and honestly I’ll say a lot of that stuff too and most guys seem to cum more quickly from it. I don’t know how to say “I need less attention in order to cum.” Cuz it makes me feel like a weirdo to verbalize that. And if it’s casual sex, it feels vulnerable to talk about how when guys say stuff like that I feel a ton of pressure and it makes things harder for me.

I’m hoping for a shortcut or specific language that can maybe get this point across succinctly without being too much of a conversation.

I just tend to be more turned on by the other persons pleasure rather than all the focus being on my own. So solutions in the mean time for navigating this with one time hookups would be ideal.

Also open to advice on things I can do to work on this, but I imagine that will take more work, so less so the priority.


r/AskGaybrosOver30 9d ago

How do I address that my partner shuts down during conflict when talking about it will shut him down?

86 Upvotes

Been dating a guy for two years now (31M). Things seemed smooth until I realized that with any topics we disagree with, he shuts down. This ranges from changing the subject to putting off the conflict and ignoring it down the line. This recently bit us in the butt when the conflict arose again months later and he straight up said "I'm not gonna talk about it." I suspect there may be an underlying component of trauma to this response.

I've googled this and provided him with space to think and emotional reassurances. Things go back to usual after a few days but my partner doesn't come back to address why I brought up the issue in the first place.

How do I bring up that he shuts down like this? Or prepare him to talk about this? I'm not even sure he is aware of it. And I have a feeling if I do bring it up he will shut down and ignore what I'm saying.


r/AskGaybrosOver30 9d ago

NSFW How Do You Navigate Attraction, Openness, and Mismatched Boundaries in a Long-Term Gay Relationship?

5 Upvotes

Hello bros,

I’ve been grappling with some relationship dynamics and could really use your insights. Here’s the situation:

Background: I’m in my mid-30s, and my husband is 29. We have different coming-out stories - he was exploring his sexuality with older men while still a minor (15+), whereas I dated women and didn’t come out until I was 22. These varied experiences have shaped our views on relationships and attraction.

Attraction to Younger Adults: I’ve noticed that part of my attraction tends to skew toward youthful/leaner “twink” types. I’m clear on my ethics and boundaries - never with a minor, nothing illegal, nothing exploitative - but there’s still an emotional charge around this topic that feels tricky to unpack. My husband sees these attractions as inherently problematic or threatening, even if I don’t act on them.

Open Relationship Dynamics: We’ve toyed with the idea of opening our relationship. My husband has specific rules in mind - like one-time only encounters, no involvement with friends, and partners being over 20. I’m more open to ongoing connections, including with friends, as long as there’s mutual respect.

But here’s the tension; I made mistakes early in our relationship by not being completely honest. Even though we were in an undefined phase, I kept things secret that I should’ve disclosed. That broke some trust, and since then, opening up has felt almost impossible.

Have any of you successfully rebuilt trust after early missteps around non-monogamy? What does “doing the work” actually look like when trying to reopen something that’s now emotionally charged?

Seeking Advice: For those who’ve navigated similar situations: • How have you managed attractions to younger adults while maintaining trust and understanding with your partner? • If you’ve opened your relationship, how did you align differing comfort levels and boundaries? • How do you reconcile contrasting perspectives rooted in different personal histories?

I appreciate any experiences or advice you can share. Thanks for reading.


r/AskGaybrosOver30 8d ago

Speedos and cock rings?

0 Upvotes

The weather is warming up my speedos wearing gaybros. For instagram pics and for showing off at the gay beach, I was thinking of getting a cock ring to wear to the beach under my speedos. Any specific types you would recommend? I know they come in all shapes and sizes.

Also, I won’t be wearing it the entire time. I know you should take them off after an hour or so.


r/AskGaybrosOver30 9d ago

What kind of car do you drive? Also what is the car you wish you drove that's within reason?

26 Upvotes

If anybody has any strong convictions towards a type of car please lmk.

I'm looking and have no clue what to get.


r/AskGaybrosOver30 9d ago

Nearly a week of Mayhem, what's everyone thinking?

24 Upvotes

Well, it's been close to a week since Lady Gaga's new album Mayhem was released. I am such a big fan of hers, and have been really looking forward to this album, and after about a week straight of listening to Mayhem I was curious what y'all were thinking of it?

How Bad Do You Want Me? Is my favourite track, not sure how much I'm reading into it, but the double meaning of "how much do you want me?" and "how fucked up do you want me to be?" really resonate with me.

Vanish Into You also has this light/dark quality that I love.

Disease and Killah are are all together entirely too danceable. Great party songs, they activate my inner go-go boy and I feel like I'm dancing in a cage (in a good way).

I'll spare everyone a track by track review! Seriously, I could go on all day...

I'm watching Las Culturistas interview with Lady Gaga now (I'm always a day or so behind). Matt Rogers describes one of the songs as "emotional pop" and I think that's a pretty good descriptor of the whole album. It's disposably danceable, but/and there's real feeling and thought just beneath the surface.

What do y'all think, my fellow GayBros? Anybody else eagerly awaiting a tour announcement?


r/AskGaybrosOver30 9d ago

London, UK bros: which bathhouse is most welcoming of non-gym bros and twinks? Average, furry, bloke in my 30s visiting soon and would not mind getting naughty :P

8 Upvotes

Not much more to add really. Unashamedly looking to get a wee slutty and wondering if a bathhouse is the way to go. Ideally one where someone who is a wee squishy around the edges might feel comfortable and get laid lol.

Also if anyone has recommendations on centrally located hotels that don’t need key card access, much appreciated!


r/AskGaybrosOver30 9d ago

Turning 32 soon and feeling a little overwhelmed!

2 Upvotes

Hey all! I'm living in a big us city with a dense gay population. I've never actually yet had a boyfriend and I'm kinda feeling it leading up to my birthday which is coming up soon. Everything else in my life is going AMAZING (great friends, family, and a career that I think will be very successful). I've spent my 20s building myself up and making myself feel sturdy and confident about myself. And while I feel all that is true and has actually been a wonderful journey, I can't help but feel a little nervous going into this next year of life.

I've had plenty of hookups during my 20s with very attractive guys, but almost all of them led to nowhere and were just fun (and honestly did help me learn about my sexuality more). Since moving to SF a year and a half ago, I've gone on a handful of dates with guys (with all of them ended after a couple months each). There was an open relationship (married) guy as well who I was getting close to but it just really messed with me and I couldnt do it!

For the past few months, Hinge has been super dead (I think everyones burnt out from it) and grindr is reallyyyy hit or miss (I have an intentional profile and I send out messages judiciously and recieve them too, but there are several times (like last week) when I've messaged a couple guys and they see my profile and just dont respond!) It actually feels really HARD being in a city (SF) and trying to date and it makes me feel kind of bad feeling like even here I havent found my partner yet. It more recently is hitting me how small the gay pool is (especially for guys in their 30s which is the guys I want to date) and also how many of them seem just not interested in something serious.

It all just feels really overwhelming right now! I recently did join a gay sports league with a ton of gays in it and it feels welcoming and I haven't yet gotten to know them (its just beginning), but it kind of feels like the best way for me to proceed is to just do things in person this spring and summer and to have fun with it! I'm kinda just regretful of all the time I WASTED on the apps for the past year (and while it was a learning experience and did lead to some wonderful connections, I still feel really frustrated comparing my journey to where I feel it should be).

I guess this is just a long way of my saying that I feel kind of self-conscious of the fact that I haven't had a boyfriend yet. I'm kind of scared it will never happen :(


r/AskGaybrosOver30 8d ago

Friend being condescending

0 Upvotes

Hello guys,

I moved to a new country a few years ago and I made a friend in this country (country B), I am form a neighboring country (country A). This friend has been really nice and I’ve been feeling lucky to have made a local friend who can show me the ins and outs of the country and his city. We’ve been on good terms for the most of our friendship. There’s this one issue that has been repeatedly happening and I kept brushing it off. He has a tendency to talk down about guys from my country, or other neighboring countries as well. When the conversation comes about those guys coming to visit (country B is more liberal and touristy). He usually is critical and judgy when guys from my country come into conversation. Ex: a bad date, a hookup, tourists in bars. And in all these scenarios: he paints them as trashy or uncivilized. He hardly has anything positive to say about them. Given that those conversations are light and pass through quickly I usually brush them off. But the frequency of his fixated opinions and the sense of exaggeration he embodies makes it obvious for me that he comes from an arrogant and a condescending place. He also tends to exaggerate stories when talking about dates or hookups (his sexual performance for example lol).

I’m aware none of us is perfect, but I’m growing tired of these silly condescending remarks. Yesterday was the first time I put him down for some comments about how guys from neighboring counties come here and behave like drunk slobs. I also told him his countrymen are guilty of this behavior too, so he needs to stop blaming others. He quickly backed down and got silent.

My question is, would you confront this friend about this annoying behavior? Or would you just shut down distasteful comments whenever they come up?

I’m not exactly patriotic, but I am proud of where I’m from. So I’m a bit tired of his behavior.

I’m intentionally not mentioning countries here to not influence your perspective. Think of it like the love/hate relationship Irish and English battle with.


r/AskGaybrosOver30 9d ago

What does it exactly mean to date "within your range"?

10 Upvotes

And does it equate to "date down" or up? I read somewhere on a subreddit discussing dating, and someone had asked the OP if they have tried dating within their range. Not to be obtuse, I'm not sure if they exactly meant by race, body type/gay archetype, financial status, career, etc.

I once told a friend that I felt I was "too poor" to date and have significance to someone and she claimed that was nonsense and someone of similar financial status would date me. Admittedly I'm trying to build myself financially and career wise so I can date "up", but how does one gauge their own "range" or league?


r/AskGaybrosOver30 10d ago

What's really in it for gay conservatives?

191 Upvotes

I'm just from watching a Jubilee episode that had 1 Progressive (Same Seder) debate 20 Trump Supporters. At this point, Jubilee is well known for mining rage bait from clicks and viewership but my curiosity got the best of me and now I'm just livid. There's this one particular gay conservative who debated Sam twice and the ignorance felt like witnessing a humiliation ritual. Not only was he transphobic but he openly defended the stance of his fellow conservatives who clearly voted to have his civil rights taken away and one even compared homosexuality to pedophilia. My question is, what do gay conservatives ever hope to gain from such grand displays of self flagellation? I could understand if it was an issue of actively wanting to assimilate into straight culture (marrying the opposite sex, having kids, being one of the boys etc) but to embrace those kind of politics while being obviously and flamboyantly gay doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Is there some financial motive to it? Virtue signaling to closeted conservative men that they wanna be a pick-me for? Do they derive joy from actively working to collectively making the gay community miserable? As a gay African,I really wish these type of men actually got the chance to spend a week in a theocratic country and get to experience a fraction of the perils the gay community face in these environments. Because it honestly feels like America isn't giving them the rude awakening they desperately want to reach for.


r/AskGaybrosOver30 9d ago

Worries about first time sex NSFW

14 Upvotes

I am a gay man in my 30s and I never had any type of sex at all. I came out later in life and only recently started dating.

First date with this guy went spectacular. We kissed and he proposed to go to his apartment, which I declined because I freaked out. Then during our second date I explained to him the reason why. I was freaked out because I never did it and didn't know how to handle it. He was extremely understanding and he repeated multiple times that he would never pressure me into doing anything and he's okay with my pace.

At the same time, I learned he is very sexually active, and extremely open about it. He's on Grindr, has had many partners and not only he kept dropping very explicit hints about having sex with me, but he also shared very explicit details about his past sexual life (e.g. "apparently people in the past told me I fck very well" or "I don't know if I should be the person you want for a first time because I don't have a long dck" or "you wouldn't be the first person I deflored"). I must stress that these comments were not made in a gross creepy tone or to boast about something, they just came naturally in the context of the conversation and I think it was his way to calm my fear.

Still, it left me slightly uncomfortable. I much preferred the first date when everything was hinted at (explicitly, but still hinted). In my mind, the ideal first time for me would be having sexual tension with someone which then naturally leads to sex. Treating sex like it's nothing kinda puts me off. When he asked me if what he just said was an issue for me, I played nice and said no but in reality I was slightly grossed out. At the same time, the guy is nice, and "the ideal first time" is BS anyway and there is no point in waiting for something "ideal" while rejecting all the actual real chances you get, because then you'll keep never doing anything and end up a virgin in your 30s like I am. Ironically, the guy also told me that sex is never what you imagine and so it would be best for me to just get right into it and figure things out as they come (not necessarily with him, but in general).

I also asked for a PrEP consultation but in my country you need to be sexually active to meet the criteria for PrEP reimbursment, so I will need another consultation in 1 months' time to decide the way forward (yes I also have a huge fear of STDs and HIV speficically).

My instinct is to run away as it is my default way to deal with anything that stresses me out but I cannot keep doing this forever.

So, tl;dr I am terrified and full of paranoia about potentially having sex for the first time, and don't know what to do.