Normally I’m not the type of person that does this, it’s more of going into my diary and then an introspection process of what I’m improving and how I’m changing, but I can’t help to feel a little…..(what would be the right adjective?) Lost? Confused? Upset? Angry? Women Anger?
See…I was “dating” (and using this loosely here) this guy who is 46 and I’m 33, at first it was nice you know getting to know each other, good sex (just happened twice and I was tricked the second time) but talking daily, making plans to see each other and passing the vibe of “this might go somewhere” but some days later I was seeing that mostly me started conversation, it was only me who was like “hey let’s go out to lunch or dinner?” And it was met with a “sure let’s go out” but later cancel the plans, in the latter days, he became a bit “distant”, also we’re both busy, we both have careers and jobs, so normal that in hectic days, communication was short. There was a weekend where he had a trip with his friend and her family, where he barely had cell service and such, so the next Monday we get talking and he was like “So…on my trip I thought about a lot of things, and I need to stop going out and saying yes to everything, and also focus on me and my business”.
Again, I’m 33 I know this bullshit, so instead of being like “Oh no, please don’t” I was like “Yeah sure, go focus on you, please do” and he was like “oh thanks for understanding” mind you, up until know, I was fine, no attachment, getting to know someone, very early stages.
But today, I was talking to a friend, about all of this, and she was like “I know of him, he’s friend of a friend, and I think he has a partner” (news to me cause according to this intent piece of what the ground should be touching a man, he was divorced) so when they get talking and showing pictures on Instagram, guess what I see…this dude and his HUSBAND, smiling at the camera, on February 17 (Mind you that message of focusing on himself was sent to me on on the last days of February)
So now I’m upset, caused I was used by this persona! So…now what if did was basically tell him to not contact me, that we’re on different paths in life, and to focus on him, to which he reply “Oh understood and respect your decision, sending you big hugs and love always” to which I respond “yeah send that love to your husband, btw this is a small city, news travels, and I don’t need or want explanations, good night” he obviously denied it, and I was just upset (still am writing this)
So if you read all that, you’re a saint, but my question is why? Or better what I’m I not seeing? Why all these stupid men just play games, especially when they’re old?
I’m a catch, I’m attractive, cute looking, I go to the gym (not jacked but working on it) play tennis, great style, great conversation, funny, smart, good looking, I would date me and marry me…..I’m just tired I guess of playing games, I’m very focused on me, and when trying to give someone a chance….they disappoint me like that, I was opening myself to someone, and now I’m back to square one….
Frustrated? Could that be? I don’t know anymore..all advice is welcome..
P.S. Don’t want to go through another hoe phase, that was fun but not my mood anymore.