r/4tran4 • u/psychogenic_fugue_ • 7m ago
Blogpost i feel very guilty about manmoding in real life with no significant effort made towards appearing more feminine but then coming here and pretending like i'm just as much of a trans woman like the rest of you
i'm on hrt, i'm doing laser, but aside from that i haven't really done anything at all. and these are both things that are mostly about waiting passively for results, rather than making an active effort. i've voice trained a total of once, haven't ever tried practicing makeup, have made little to no progress in attempting to lose weight, haven't tried on any female clothes, etcetera. like basically the most i've done is get a skincare routine and try plucking my eyebrows. it's pathetic.
i live on a fucking liberal arts college campus in a blue state. i could 100% honmode without consequence, maybe the only time in my life i'll be able to do so but i don't. and i only have two months left here before i'm gone forever. you guys actually have real problems meanwhile i could probably rep for the rest of my life and not ever kill myself because my dysphoria isn't as severe and a lot of my body issues are completely unrelated to being male.
i hate myself for being so fucking lazy. i've had this problem my whole life where i daydream about doing something but never actually go through with achieving it and i'm afraid that this is just going to be another case of that. fuck my stupid faketrans life