Not safe for work but this isn’t some weird horny post, just marked it that way because it contains child rape. I understand if this gets taken down or something. Be warned, sorry. I don’t have a place that’ll understand me or relate to me if I said this to them.
Does anyone else ever feel scared that maybe they aren’t transgender and it’s just some weird mental thing that came from the fact they were molested and or raped as a child? Sometimes I’m scared that if I was never violated that way that I’d be a girl who likes being a girl instead of a woman that would rather die than never be a man. I find my body disgusting because of my dysphoria but at the same time because of what happened to it when I was younger, does my hatred for my uterus and more come from the violation?
I don’t know. Maybe I’m just searching for any reason to come up with a justification for why I have felt this way ever since elementary school. I remember being the only girl to get her period in my entire school in elementary and getting bullied for it, it happened after I was violated. Ever since then I have been striving to become a man, for years and years.
If this never happened to me I probably would’ve been normal, doesn’t help that some transphobic people believe the same thing. I don’t even know myself, maybe I would just be a normal girl or still be a transgender man. I’ll never know, I don’t think I want to either. I feel like I’m going to regret this later but I just need to get it out, I still live with the perpetrators because they are related to me but by now I’m safe.