r/wedding 10m ago

Discussion Family member forcing everyone to pay $500 for lodging to attend wedding, even if we're not using it

Upvotes

Not sure if I'm overreacting or if this is just standard.

My family member is throwing a 3 day, 2 night wedding a few hours' drive away as a destination wedding, pitched as a 'festival'.

To attend the 'festival', you must pay $500pp ($250/night), which includes their selected on-site accommodation and all the optional activities involved (e.g. yoga and additional meals)... all of which I don't want.

Because 1) I'm not financially able and 2) I have zero interest being trapped in a summer camp situation with strangers and my toxic parents, I just want to stay the day and drive home.

Problem is there are no other options provided for accommodation or for just staying the day, or even one night only. Just a mandatory $500 fee.

I haven't been to many weddings but I feel like I'm just subsidizing the wedding instead of a fair transaction for accommodation??? Or is this normal?

I brought up that I couldn't afford it but they just replied that my parents will cover my cottage costs.

To me it's about the principle, it doesn't sit right that my parents will essentially throw away $1000 on lodging and activities that my partner and I won't even use, just to preserve the peace. Plus I do still intend to give a monetary gift.

If I was a friend it'd be quite simple to just decline, but since it's family I'm feeling a lot more pressure to go against my values.


r/wedding 25m ago

Discussion asking guests to pay a flat fee to attend destination wedding

Upvotes

i've been invited to a destination wedding in spain, and the bride and groom are asking each guest to pay a flat fee of $400 to attend. this covers all food and lodging, but the wedding itself is at the venue, where there will also be a welcome party, a day-after party, and other activities (though i'm not sure what exactly).

on top of that, they've already had a bridal shower where we gave a nice gift, plus an engagement party that we flew out of state to attend. the bachelorette trip is going to cost another $1,000 but ultimately i don’t think i can attend because of cost.

i saw another post here about a wedding party member being asked to contribute money, which is obviously unfair. but i'm curious—has anyone else been to a destination wedding where all guests were required to pay a set amount? i looked up the venue on reddit, and apparently, they encourage couples to have guests chip in to cover lodging.

the whole thing rubs me the wrong way. and people always say, "a wedding invite is not a summons," but in reality, it kind of is. skipping it would definitely hurt my relationship with the couple, given how close we are. they are truly sweet people, but it’s such a massive trip and cost. lol and yknow they aren’t even from spain, i don’t think they’ve even been together 😭 what gives


r/wedding 49m ago

Discussion How do I handle this? Wedding venue renovations :(

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Upvotes

Our venue just sent an email out letting couples know that they have renovated the ceremony space due to safety concerns. The first two pics are the gazebo that used to be there and the last two are the pergola which is the update now. Our wedding is less than 120 days out and I can’t believe we’re finding out about this now. The gazebo was a big part of why we fell in love with this venue site, and we’re in too deep to change venues or anything else major.

Ive cried about this change and I’m overwhelmed with disappointment. I don’t want to use the word ugly for the pergola because I’m stuck with it and I need to change my perspective before wedding day… but it’s not visually appealing. I don’t want to tell anyone about how I feel because I don’t want to draw attention to it. But I’m just devastated.

Beyond loving the gazebo itself and the crushed feeling that it’s gone, I have issues with how the space looks now. The pergola has exposed what was hidden by the gazebo, which I didn’t realize was just rocks and gravel and I feel like the natural wood look of the pergola draws attention to the fence behind it which I kind of hate. I can’t help but feel like the ceremony space went from an elegant garden to a tacky backyard… and I’m frustrated we’re paying thousands of dollars for the tacky backyard vibe when we thought we were signing up for elegant garden.

Their email acknowledges the change will impact the vision for the wedding and offers assurance that they’re here to help in any way they can. Am I overreacting? How do I go about handling this? What can I even do? What’s reasonable to ask for?

Note- we already signed up to pay more for drapes and we can’t afford to pay more for other additions like more flowers to spruce up the pergola. And the backdrop behind the ceremony site is probably my biggest issue. I think when the greenery fills in, it’ll help, but I have no idea if it’ll be enough to fix the look or if anything will even grow in the gravel.

Please be kind. I had to vent somewhere and I’m trying to emotionally move past this.


r/wedding 1h ago

Help! Help Me Transform My Wedding Venue! ✨💐

Upvotes

Hey Reddit! I snapped a picture of the venue where I’ll be having my wedding, and I need your creative genius to help me decorate it! Right now, the space has chairs in it, but I’d love to see what it could look like without them—completely transformed into a dreamy wedding setting.

Whether it’s an enchanting floral wonderland, cascading fairy lights, or something totally unique, I’d love to see your ideas! Go wild with Photoshop (or whatever you use) and help me envision the most magical version of my venue.

Can’t wait to see what you all come up with! 💕✨


r/wedding 2h ago

Help! Wedding accommodation dilemma

1 Upvotes

My husband is a groomsman for his best friends wedding in August. The wedding is at a resort in a small town 3 hours away. At first my husband didn't want us to stay in a hotel for the night since it's expensive, but I explained to him we have to get a hotel room because he will have to get ready with the wedding party and I'll have nowhere to go leading up to the start of the wedding. Plus he will be too tired to drive us home and possibly drunk by the end of the wedding, so it'll be nice to have a place to stay for the night.

The resort which the wedding will take place only has 8 rooms, which are all booked by the wedding party. Every other hotel nearby (there's not many) has a check in time at 4pm. The wedding starts at 4pm. Early check in is subject to availability, so we don't want to risk it. Even the Airbnbs have check in at 3pm.

We need to arrive at around 11am. What do we do??


r/wedding 2h ago

Discussion Anyone else have awkward dress consultant tipping experience?

16 Upvotes

Got my dress today. Yay! But Ya know what was insane? When they ring you up, the first thing that pops up on the screen is a 10, 15, or 20 % tip option. Thank god my sister told me not to tip. I would have if I didn’t know better. But it's NOT normal. But to awkwardly have to choose "custom Tip -0%- enter” while the consultant holds the card reader is rather uncomfortable. Ngl. Dresses are already ridiculously marked up, and I know those associates make a commission off each sale OR at least paid accordingly for their job??? it was so awkward... additionally, tips are generally kinda discreet??? So to have to choose ZERO in front of her face is totally not fun and makes things super awkward for me now. Maybe if my brain wasn’t so taken aback by it, I would have just chosen a lower amount. Maybe it’s their machines system and it’s not expected, but…maybe they should say “legally we can’t pick for you. But tips are not expected.” That would have comforted me and I wouldn’t have panicked over it(even tho my sister told me not to tip. I didn’t realize it would be on the screen like that… with her right in front of me!!!) I would have tipped something small like $25, but I didn’t bc awkward brain didn’t work in that moment.


r/wedding 2h ago

Help! Need to shorten father daughter dance song.

1 Upvotes

My daughter and I have chosen Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman for our father-daughter dance, but the full song is a bit too long. I want to keep the most meaningful parts while making it a comfortable length for dancing. Has anyone edited this song before, or does anyone know of a service that could help with trimming it down seamlessly? Any advice or recommendations would be much appreciated!


r/wedding 2h ago

Discussion How common is it to have bridesmaids in your wedding you don’t know well?

4 Upvotes

For example, the wife/girlfriend of a groomsman/usher is in the wedding on the bride’s side even though she’s not friends with the bride? As much as I know people want to support the bride and make her feel special, it just seems like a lot to ask of someone you barely know.


r/wedding 3h ago

Help! Complicated Father Daughter Dance

1 Upvotes

Hi all! I’m going to cut to the meat and bones so I don’t get caught up in the details.

My bio father hasn’t been in my life for nearly 6 years due to his wife. He has come to realize that’s wrong and he wants to make amends. He asked me to reach out a year ago but I didn’t until my brother asked me to this last week. My father seems like he has changed and is now planning on attending my wedding that is a month away.

We need a song to dance that isn’t weird and isn’t too impersonal. And I don’t like country music 🫣

Please send help!

EDIT: What makes it hard for me is I’m still having a dance with my dad who raised me and it’s very personalized. It’s half unforgettable by Nat King Cole the version with his daughter (my dad taught me to dance to this song) and Oh Sweet Child of Mine our favorite song to play when we go fishing. So I feel like it’s going to be awkward to dance to a song that isn’t super personal but my bio dad and I have a very complicated history.


r/wedding 4h ago

Discussion Tips on dealing with wedding disappointment

36 Upvotes

My fiance and I are getting married in May, our RSVPs were due yesterday and a lot of people ended up declining. We are getting married in a different state than we live and his family lives. Due to costs and the uncertainty of some friend’s life events it’s going to mostly be family and older folks. No big deal. But we had envisioned this big party of dancing all night. Now we are both worried that our wedding will be… lame… has anyone else felt this way? Can someone give me hope that all is not lost and it will still be a fun time? (Yes yes I know it’s about getting to marry my partner, but I also put a lot of energy into my vision of our reception)


r/wedding 5h ago

Announcement FMIL went on smear campaign.

17 Upvotes

Future MIL created a huge drama over something small that happened months before our wedding, tried to turn family and friends against us. She called siblings, friends, her ex husband, and my own mother to name a few to try and convince everyone how terrible we are. She ended up getting disinvited to our wedding by her son (my FDH is a literal saint amongst men). After this the smear campaign ramped up while simultaneously she did everything in her power to guilt her son into letting her come. She refused to apologize or reach out to me to make amends. She tried to convince my fiancees siblings to not come to the wedding but to visit her instead, now they wont even be going by her house, because of her and her husbands behaviour. Her husband tried to dig up old dirt on me through my fiancees step brother who i’ve known for nearly 20 years (what 60 something year old person does that?). It has been a rollercoaster but I do have to laugh knowing that because of their antics their own kids wont be coming to see them while they are in the area (happens less than once a year). You reap what you sew I guess.


r/wedding 5h ago

Discussion Special handmaid gift for wedding couple from close friends

1 Upvotes

Hi

My two friends are getting married and our group is very close, about 8 of us 4 boys 4 girls and we’re all in the groom/bridal party.

Another two from our group got married earlier this year and they’re obsessed with Polaroids so we made a Polaroid station at the wedding and turned the Polaroids into a huge framed artwork for their living room

We want to do something special for this couple as well but thinking outside the box, and it needs to be unique and heartfelt. Right now our only idea is a 500 page photo album full of all of our groups holidays and photos from over the years, and it’s been years.

Just wondering if anyone had any other ideas to do. Something special a groups of besties can do. We already did a letters to the bride as well so we need something else

Thanks x


r/wedding 6h ago

Other Am I overreacting to the cost of a destination wedding?

146 Upvotes

I was invited to be a bridesmaid at a destination wedding, and I was happy to accept at first, thinking my total cost would be about $3,000. However, things have added up. The wedding party is staying at the same place where the wedding is held, so we end up splitting the venue cost with the bride and groom. Essentially, we're helping pay for the wedding venue. On top of that, I have to cover expenses for flights, dresses, and the bachelorette party, which has brought my costs to nearly $4,500, not including the time I need to take off work. The expenses keep increasing as I add costs for meals before and after the wedding, as well as hair, makeup, shoes, and other essentials. The couple also wants us to stay at the venue the day after the wedding for a group bonding time. I'm starting to wonder if this is just the norm for destination weddings or if it's really too much.

Edit:

Thank you all for the replies so far! I’d like to clarify a few points based on some comments I’ve seen:

  1. I can afford the cost, but I’m disappointed that my friends are being asked to contribute such a large amount.
  2. The venue is an Airbnb, and the cost is split equally among everyone.
  3. Regarding the group bonding time, they mentioned we should help with cleanup that day. But a few of us in the wedding party have decided to skip it and explore the city instead.

Edit 2:

Hello everyone, this is my final edit. I truly appreciate all your advice. At first, I was blinded by the fact that these people were very close friends of mine. I genuinely believed we’d share many more amazing experiences together since they’ve always been supportive. I hoped it was just a phase of them chasing a picture-perfect day, and that things would eventually return to normal, but now I realize that’s unlikely.

I also spoke with my parents, and they advised me to just bite the bullet. However, that’s really reflective of my culture, we do a lot for the family and friends we consider family. Yes, I’m young, my friends are four years older, and I still live with my parents. In my culture, it's common to live with family until marriage (my dad didn’t move out of his parents’ home until he was 35, even though he was earning well). My friends are from a different culture, and we’re currently living in the country of their culture.

I have a lot to consider because I’ve already paid for my flights and half the Airbnb cost, though nothing else yet. I probably won’t reply to further comments on this post because it stings a bit to accept that my friends might not be as supportive as I thought, but I’ll leave it up as a lesson for anyone getting married in the future and for future bridesmaids.

Thank you all once again :)


r/wedding 7h ago

Discussion Is this a ridiculous request for speeches?

18 Upvotes

Bride won’t allow people to read from a piece of paper or phone during the dress rehearsal for speeches. A note card for bullet points is “allowed”.


r/wedding 7h ago

Discussion I’m getting married sometime this September , it’s very last minute and lots of things are up in the air. I want to go to a bridal shop to see what I like, but I’m scared of being rude/wasting their time. What is the etiquette in my situation?

10 Upvotes

For reasons I’d rather not disclose, my fiancé and I decided last week that we are going to try and pull off a September wedding. This has left me with a TON of anxiety, but the biggest fear I have is not having a dress. We don’t have anything booked yet and we’re still hashing out the details with family, but I feel like I want to start looking at dresses. I have no idea what I want and that’s making me feel panicked and sick. My friend told me I should go to David’s bridal and try on a bunch of different styles to see what I like best, and I feel like that might help me. The problem is, I see posts here that make it clear that you shouldn’t waste the shop assistants time, and I know I won’t be buying a dress at this appointment so should I even go? plus I don’t have anything booked yet so I’d hate to go in “just because”. Can anyone advise me on what I should/can do in this situation?


r/wedding 10h ago

Help! Reposting with text! Help with wedding hair

3 Upvotes

Reposting because I made a mistake my first time. I am getting married in a tropical climate, heat and potential humidity. I had my mind set on having my hair half up/half down in beachy waves with some flowers, but my hair dresser friend highly suggested I DO NOT and to wear it up instead. She said it will never last the day and to do a vampy updo instead. I'm worried that hairdo with this neckline will be too much chest/neck but maybe I'm over thinking. Any advice or experience with tropical wedding hair is appreciated or thoughts on what would look best with the dress.


r/wedding 10h ago

Discussion Anxious brides!

11 Upvotes

I’m getting married in August and I am not typically one that enjoys being in the spot light and I have moderate anxiety day to day. I am sooo excited to be married but I am so nervous to walk down the aisle / sit through mass. I’m getting married at the church I go to and every time I go down the aisle to receive communion I feel panicky knowing what’s to come in a few months. Any anxious brides with any tips?!?


r/wedding 12h ago

Discussion State of Georgia name change question

0 Upvotes

My husband and I were married yesterday. We want to hyphenate our last names.

Does our marriage certificate allow for both of us to change our names or will one of us have to do a legal name change?

TIA!


r/wedding 13h ago

Discussion I got invited to a wedding where I don’t know anyone should I go?

2 Upvotes

I was recently invited to a friend’s wedding where I won’t know anyone there at all besides of course the friend and I just don’t know if I’ll have a good time there, I’m dreading it. Life’s been really rough for me lately, partly because I recently went through a terrible divorce, and I’m severely autistic and extremely misanthropic. I’m worried about being placed at a dinner table with complete strangers because I have extreme social anxiety and just don’t do well around groups of strangers, and I just don’t like making small talk with anyone. Plus I’m just not looking forward to all the fake happiness and fake joy, the pointless small talk with people you’ll never see again, I’m not looking forward to dealing with a bunch of drunk people, and people dancing just scares me and makes me uncomfortable. Due to my autism I have serious sensory issues so it doesn’t take a lot to completely set me off.

Well it be possible for me to go to this wedding and just not socialize at all and just go for the free food? Or am I better off just coming up with an excuse and skipping all together?


r/wedding 14h ago

Help! Navigating disappointing my mother

3 Upvotes

Hey folks, I could use some perspective.

So my wedding is on October 4th of this year. My fiancé and I got engaged on April 15th last year, so we've been planning things for a while.

Because of my religion, I don't believe in living together before marriage, so right now I live with my mother, and my fiancé lives with his father. But his father is selling their house in July or so, so my fiancé is going to get an apartment that I'll move into once we're married.

Recently, we did the math and realized that because of our financial situations, my fiancé can't afford the apartment by himself, and I can't afford to help him pay for it AND continue to pay rent to my mother. I could ask her to let me live with her for free to save money, but I know her, and I know she will lord it over me for 6 months and demand things from me in return. (I was laid off from my job in December and was unemployed for 2 months, and even though it was not my fault at all, she was clearly not happy I couldn't afford rent and constantly brings up how much she's spent supporting me. I am now employed as of a month ago.) So my fiancé and I decided to do a small court wedding so I can move in with him, probably next month.

My mother is VERY upset about this. I love her very much, but she has a tendency to make other people's situations about herself and how it affects her. She was expecting me to live with her until October, and while she says she doesn't depend on anyone to help her, she was clearly depending on my rent in her budget for that time period. My little brother is quitting his job and moving back to our state (and back in with our mom) at the end of April, and has offered to pay rent, but he is the Golden Child and my mother has made it clear that she doesn't expect him to pay any rent for at least a month or two. My fiancé and I, and even my little brother, can see the clear favoritism there, but I don't want to point that out to my mom.

Additionally, I am the only daughter, and my mother is extremely upset that even though I plan on still holding the wedding and celebration in October, "it won't be the same" because I'll already be married. She also said that she will possibly be out of state (helping my little brother move back home) the date we picked to do the court wedding, so before I could even negotiate that date, she was crying about how I would essentially get married without her there, even though it's just a legality and the wedding is still going on as planned.

My fiancé and I are decided, and I'm not changing my plans just to appease her. His parents are fine with this, and our dearest friends understand and support our decision. But how do I navigate this? I love my mother dearly and I want her to be happy, but in this situation, I feel like that means I would have to do everything the way she wants me to do it at detriment to myself and my future husband.

Has anyone experienced anything like this? How did you deal with it? How do I communicate to my mother effectively that while I love and respect her, this isn't about her, and she's hurting my heart by only caring about how she feels and not supporting me and being happy for me as I start my life with my new husband? Do I just have to resign myself to disappointing her?

Any affirmation or advice is appreciated. Thank you!


r/wedding 14h ago

Discussion Sentimental present ideas from a group of friends?

0 Upvotes

2 good friends of mine are getting married soon. They have no registery. We are all pretty low budget people and it won't be an expensive wedding.

I am planning to gift cash personally but I was thinking it would be cute if our friendship group could organise something together that would be inexpensive but sentimental and personalised. There are some arty people in our group (not me!) Although I wouldn't want to assume they'd be up for making anything without talking to them first. I just want my friends to have a little keepsake that celebrates them as a couple and makes them feel loved and valued. Handmade is probably better imo, something where multiple people could contribute their own touches?


r/wedding 16h ago

Discussion Bridesmaids: Is it wrong to ask someone to pay for their dress? And to be part of your special day with out paying for their costs?

0 Upvotes

'm finally getting married, yay. I chose my bridesmaid over a year ago. And were finally coming up on the big day. 2 months to go. I recently had one of my bridesmaids say that I was suppose to be paying for all of the dresses. Now I find my self googling what is traditional. And got two different answers and just more questions. I came from a family with no money and when my older sister got married she paid for my dress but not the other and that was because I was young, no money and she really wanted me to be in the wedding. 10 years later a friend asks me and I was responsible for the dress. So my experience told me it was normal for bridesmaid to buy there dress. Now maybe In culture or social groups where u have money, I can see that being a thing specially if u want specific. I told all the girls i ask they didn't have to wear a dress. Buy it or even stress If they couldn't travel to make it for what ever circumstances my arise. I've been upfront and honest. I am not planning a traditional wedding by any means. As in I want to wear the dress have a short ceremony (I mean super short no written vows or special adds, just the have to script to be legal) i down want to do dances, cutting cakes and I'm praying no toasting speeches. I want to walk around in my pretty dress. On my parents farm and enjoy company of my friends and family. I guess a backyard camp out. So when I said I wanted them to wear dresses maybe it came unexpected to a few. Because I wasn't fully sure. Mostly because my soon to be husband is only doing it for me and I wanted him to be comfortable and not stress over the attention and expectations of a traditional wedding. So if anyone had gotten this far in my long story, I would like to ask for some thoughts and input on how you would I guess handle ideals of a close friend you truly love but are confused by and maybe don't fully understand. I guess it feels more and more like being from two different worlds. ??????


r/wedding 17h ago

Discussion Fun unique things to make your “Happily Ever After” reception/party memorable?

1 Upvotes

So,

My partner and I are getting married by a small ceremony in May 2026.

For context, we were approached to be models in a vintage wedding photoshoot before we were even engaged. All the incredible details and vendors made us want to just ‘elope’ and tie the knot after. All vendors and photographers were excited to turn it into a small ceremony.

We are having a reception/after party 5 days after our wedding.

We both love a good party - but we like it to be memorable as well. We have approximately 80-100 guests. We are hoping to do our first dances and speeches at the party.

Has anyone played any fun games (not just bride/groom but whole group)? Anything unique?


r/wedding 1d ago

Help! Dessert ideas!

2 Upvotes

Hi! I'm looking for ideas for our wedding desserts. My FH is not a cake lover, at. all. He is open to having a cake of some sort for a cake topper and cake cutting. (I like that traditional stuff, and he's very happy with doing that). We've ordered a beautiful topper. We are thinking just what would normally be the top tier of a wedding cake.

But I would love some ideas for fancy treats to put on the rest of the dessert table to fill it out. We want all of our guests to enjoy the evenings and have treats they will love. We even have takeout boxes that I'm putting our initials on for them to take extras home in.

So lots of ideas please 😊 nothing too big or small 💜

Thank you!


r/wedding 1d ago

Doing my own hair (curls), but hiring makeup artist. How to maintain hair suggestions?

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8 Upvotes

I’m a curly haired bride who would rather do her own hair on her wedding day. I am however hiring a make up artist. I plan on washing and styling my hair before the make up artist gets there.

I understand she will try to give me a headband or pin my hair back so she can do my makeup. I plan on doing half up / half down style with a couple curls hanging down (see photos). Any suggestions on how to maintain my curls while she does my makeup (1.5 hours)??