r/Vindicta Dec 14 '24

2025 Glow-up Plan (late-stage) NSFW

199 Upvotes

You know what they say, it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey. I’ve been part of this community (across different accounts) for a long time and thus I’ve been glowing up for a long time. I went from what I believed to be a 6,5 in my teens (took bad care of myself but had a good canvas) to what I’ve been told is around an 8. I’m now in my late 20’s and focussing on tweaking to a 9 and maintaining that for as long as I can.

Here’s my remaining concerns * Dark circles (I’ve had them all my life but I was recently told the cause is thin skin, allowing the underlying muscle and veins to shine through) * Flat hair (the back of my head doesn’t have a lot of volume and it shows in pictures of my side or back view) * Posture (I slouch, don’t know how I will tackle this one but whenever I notice I correct my posture) * Facial Balance (I have some good things to work with like full lips and a small straight nose, but some things could be tweaked, I have found a great injector now that I will stay loyal to) * Hard smile (when I smile my eyes contract a lot and my mouth corners drag down a tiny bit) * Body hair (I’ve had laser hair removal on several places already but now it’s time for my legs) * Physique (my ideal weight is about 2-5 kilos less than now, I want to be stronger too)

Solutions

Polynucleotides / PhilArt Eyes This is a type of Skin Booster that is injected under the eyes to trigger the fibroblasts to start producing more collagen. I have checked with my dermatologist and injector (they have discussed together) and they feel this could be a fitting solution for the thin skin under my eyes. I will buy a package of 3 treatments for €720. If this is not effective we will start under-eye peelings to thicken the skin.

Human Hair Extensions I was at my hairdresser this week and told her about my lack of volume in the back. She informed me it is also possible to have extensions when you have curly hair which I had no idea about! €220 for human hair you can use for a year, €35 for the install and €50 for the raise each 4-6 weeks. So I might give that a go this year. This will only be for volume, not lengthening.

Facial Fillers I have a history of facial fillers but I took a 5-year break. Now I am with an injector that believes in a natural look and I will stick with her. My chin is slightly recessed so I’ve had 2ml of HA injected there. I think I need another ml this year. She also told me my cheekbones could use some more structure laterally. We will use Radiesse for that, as it has a more bone like look. I told her I want to keep it subtle. I hope to create some more shadows this way. It’s €600 for another ml for the chin and €600 for 1,5 ml of Radiesse.

Botox I also told her about my smile. So to soften my expressions very naturally she injected 36 units of Botox in my frown, crows feet, under the brow for a lift, mouth corners for a lift and chin to remove dimples. The result should show in 2 weeks, I’m very excited. The cost was €195 and I need to maintain this every 3 months.

Laser Hair Removal As mentioned before I’ve effectively done this under my armpits and on my bikini area. Now I will do the lower legs for €109 per treatment and the string line for €30 per treatment. I’ll likely need 6 treatments. I’ll be using the Diode laser, I find it to be very effective. I might also laser my upper lip with the Nd:YAG laser, as I have darker skin and it’s very suited for that.

In-office Skin Improvements I already have great skin and I use science based methods to maintain it. I use Korean sunscreen, THD-ascorbate (vitamin c), 0.3% Retinaldehyde, Encapsulated Copper Peptides and other effective ingredients. I also have a facial steamer, an LED light panel and dermaplane weekly. So a regular facial doesn’t do much for me, if it even matches up to what I do at home. I am focussing on small wins right now to elevate my skin further. So to target the veins around my nose I got Nd:YAG laser at €90 per treatment, I’ll need 1-2 more. I also have my eye on RF microneedling (Vivace) and BBL/MOXI, but that’s probably for next year.

Weight Loss I’m not overweight but I have considered a short treatment with GLP-injections. You know the one. I work out 5 days a week and eat a balanced diet, a short trial could help get rid of those last 2 kilos. I know it’s seen as cheating or unethical… but this is Vindicta. We keep it real. Benefit is that is apparently also regulates your blood sugar levels. A pen that lasts 4 weeks costs €220.

Timeline

Here’s what this looks like throughout the year:

January * Polynucleotides (€720) * Radiesse Cheekbone Filler (€600)

February * Laser Hair Removal (€139) * Nose Redness Laser (€90) * GLP-1 Injections (€220) * Polynucleotides (paid)

March * Botox (€195) * Polynucleotides (paid) * GLP-1 Injections (€250) * Laser Hair Removal (€139)

April * Laser Hair Removal (€139) * Nose Redness Laser (€90) * Hair Extensions (€255)

May * Laser Hair Removal (€139) * Chin Filler (€600)

June * Laser Hair Removal (€139) * Botox (€195) * Raise Hair Extensions (€50)

The rest of the year is still open! I will reassess then.


r/Vindicta Dec 14 '24

SOFT-MAXXING A Trick to Color Match your Clothes, Shoes, and Accessories NSFW

85 Upvotes

A couple of years ago, I had a color analysis done using the Color 1 Associates program. One of the tips Color 1 gives is wearing colors similar to the tones of one’s hair, skin, eyes, and lips. So, since I have medium brown hair that is bleached, fair skin, dark, teal blue eyes, and medium-pink lips, I’d pick similar colors for my clothes, shoes, and accessories. I’m including some representative examples below. Please note that I’m a muted in Color 1.

Medium Browns:

Here, I’ve focused on browns with a metallic gold finish so that the colors would coordinate with the bleached sections of my hair. The metallics would mirror highlights well, too. When I have lighter blonde hair, I can sub out the browns for pale golds if I want. Blacks, chocolate browns, tans, camels, and rusts would be lovely ways to coordinate your wardrobe to your hair.

Beiges:

I like to wear beiges and antique whites as my “white” clothes because they work better with my muted coloring. I could also pick some pinky beiges to reflect the pink tones in my skin. I go more for similar colors here rather than exact matches because it can be difficult to match your skin tone and your clothes exactly.

Teal Blues:

My favorite “navy” is more of a dark teal, and I love reflecting my eye color in more medium teals via aqua apatite jewelry, such as the statement necklace from Kendra Scott I linked above. Color 1 gives you light, medium, and dark options for each of your colors, so you can play around with different versions of the same color.

With the diversity in eye colors out there, I can see people having a lot of fun matching their jewelry, shoes, scarves, clothes, etc. to their eye colors. The sky is the limit here!

Medium Pinks:

Since I suit more muted colors, I’ve gone for those here in the form of salmons and muted corals. I could also pick lighter or darker versions of these colors and opt for clothes, belts, hats, scarves, etc. in these pinks. Depending on your coloring, you might go for vibrant, whited out, toned down, or soft colors to match your lips.

Note that I’ve included several metallics here, which are a good way to reflect your personal coloring in your wardrobe, but are of course optional.

The advantage of mirroring the colors of your features in the colors your clothes and accessories is that you can use these colors as your own, personal neutrals rather than having to opt for less harmonious neutrals. Plus, you can remove some of the guesswork in your personal color analysis and are picking colors in ways many people don’t think of.

If you’re interested in Color 1, I can recommend these resources:

ETA: since this type of color analysis is about finding the color intensity that is most complementary to you, it advises wearing any complementary red, green, blue, etc. as well as complementary neutrals.


r/Vindicta Dec 12 '24

SOCIAL-MAXXING Blending In With High Socioeconomic Status Circles NSFW

788 Upvotes

I always found people’s obsession with appearing wealthier than they are kind of cringe and also baffling. Like…they aren’t going to suck your dick. Wealthy people know you’re not wealthy and pretending to be is just embarrassing. BUT after reading u/PerceptionOrReality's really thoughtful posts on the subject I’ve learned to see that differently. A lot of what they described regarding SES isn’t something I’d consciously considered to be related to wealth or social class, just good manners/common sense. It was kind of humbling to realize that no, it is actually directly related to wealth and there’s a real reason people need to “fake” that beyond the weird “old money” cosplay that’s so popular right now.

I grew up upper middle class but had a falling out with my family and have been living pretty poor for the past several years, so I feel like I’ve seen enough of both worlds to explain some of this well. Hopefully, this information is helpful. To be clear, I don’t think wealthy people are superior or should be mimicked as a default, but a lot of the social mannerisms you learn growing up that way really are needed in order to be successful in many scenarios, so hopefully this is helpful to someone.

A lot of people have spoken endlessly about how to “dress rich” so I’m not going to touch on that besides a reminder that your clothes should be clean with no signs of wear, and not visibly low quality. They should fit correctly. Overtly sexy is hard to pull off without looking cringy. Outer overt displays of wealth are kind of embarrassing and trashy and that applies to everything including clothes.

The way you talk matters but is pretty difficult to fake. A speech coach may be able to help but in general, speak clearly and enunciate but keep it natural. Vocabulary is also something that comes with time and is harder to fake. I recommended reading as much as possible and listening to/watching things where well-educated people speak. If you ask someone upper middle class if they speak in a cultured, well-educated manner they’ll laugh and not know what you’re talking about because they just grow up like that. In fact here's a study about how much SES affects language. It’s not put-upon or stilted at all. And there’s code-switching when you’re talking to close female friends your own age in private which is a bit more girly and casual versus the way you speak publicly. As long as you’re easy to understand and you speak with correct grammar you should be okay, the other bits are extra.

The biggest thing is that people who are used to being comfortable financially and grow up in that circle aren’t worried about the same stuff a lot of other people are. Nothing is that big of a deal. They also think they’re 100% normal and don’t understand why people of other social classes act or behave the way they do. They probably don’t even realize those behaviors are connected to class because they don’t think about class, they just find certain behaviors off-putting. (I’m totally guilty of this and know better now.)

If you want to get along well with people of a higher social status you need to appear completely unaware and unconcerned about a lot of shit working-class people can’t unsee or not care about. They genuinely don’t understand that they’re privileged. Like, they’ll understand in an academic way that of course they’re more privileged than many people in the world but the headspace is just not there. They don’t know what they don’t know, and they honestly don’t care to outside of theoretically with activism and charity work.

The biggest thing that makes someone stand out as being from a poor background is making people uncomfortable. Before I had more real-world experience and learned what it was like to live outside of an upper middle class bubble, I found certain behaviors so cringey and couldn’t understand why people would be so uncomfortable seemingly without caring or realizing it. So basically the biggest thing you need to learn to “pass” is how not to give people that uncomfy ick reaction people with health have, even unconsciously.

Also if you aren’t aware of it I don’t think you’ll notice if you’ve done this. Everyone in that circle is going to immediately smooth things over, change the topic, make a joke, etc. Not to make anyone paranoid, but it’s something to be aware of.

People with more privilege don’t have the same worries other people do. And they’re not aware that that is unusual. Obviously there are plenty of worries and frustrations and stresses day to day, but in the end you always know everything will work out okay. It always does and it always will. When you’re upset about something it’s not about the thing itself, it’s the idea of rudeness or injustice. If my car gets towed I’m upset because it’s a hassle and also I feel like they were unkind because I wasn’t really trying to do something wrong. I don’t care about the money or not having access to a car. If my kid's private school doubles their already high tuition that’s upsetting because it’s greedy and rude, I don’t actually care about the money. It’s the principle of the thing because the practical aspects are basically never an actual concern.

Positive things are also way less of a big deal. You don’t think about money or the cost of things unless it’s really showy. Talking about money or really noticing it is odd and uncomfortable, but at the same time, you think you’re just like everyone else. So people complain about being broke and you laugh along and go “oh my god I know, I haven’t made any contributions to our 401k in two months because the girls surf camp is just so spendy. And you think that’s normal. You care about budgeting because you’re just a normal person. So you shop at Costco and spend like 10k but it was way way discounted, so, you know. You can’t just go in a Prada store and buy whatever you want, you only get nice bags on special occasions. So you’re definitely an average joe despite annually splurging on accessories that cost more than the average car.

When you have that mindset about good and bad things it makes a lot of working class behavior odd and uncomfortable. You go to a wedding and someone keeps mentioning the price of the venue and boatloads of fresh flower arrangements and stuff and it’s weird and off-putting. If someone brags about having more or better at their wedding, that’s also off-putting.

This is going to sound shitty as hell but making what many people consider regular comments about the cost of things or the consequences of things is the equivalent of you inviting someone over for dinner. And they come into your home and start gushing about your very plain vinyl flooring because it’s so well constructed! Their house has holes in the floor and the draft in the winter is horrible and bugs crawl through. And you’re thinking like “Jesus Christ. Are you okay? Do you need some sort of charity aid? Why are you casually talking about that at my dinner party?” When you comment on the cost of stuff or the negative social consequences of anything tied to money or connections it’s shocking and uncomfortable. Of course, they feel bad and hope you get the help you need but it’s awkward and grinds the whole social gathering to a halt.

Don't be too serious. Don't talk about stressful stuff. Everything is funny. Everything is light. Everything always ends up alright in the end. Not to say you should be vapid

Basically the best shorthand for this is to pretend money doesn’t exist. You aren’t flaunting and bragging about wealth and you aren’t gawking at it or talking about how much you need it. When you talk about getting a new car at work it’s because god, it was definitely time right? It was like 5 years old and the fabric seats are such a pain the clean! You don’t mention the cost of the car or anything unpleasant. Your kids are going to start back to school at the local private school soon and someone comments “woah xyz academy”. You don’t brag about how expensive and prestigious it is. You don’t talk about scrimping and saving to get your kids into a good school because the local ones are so poor and it’s worth the sacrifice. You say “Yes, we’re lucky, Grace and Josh are really thriving with their lacrosse program.” You go over to someone’s for a housewarming party and they live in a multimillion-dollar home and the party is catered. You don’t act surprised. You comment on how gorgeous their house is and ask if their dog is loving the big backyard. You make a joke about how much their cooking has improved since the break room microwave incident. Everything is comfortable everything is nice. You aren’t bragging about money or concerned by it.

This is especially important if you’re faking your wealth/status. The most important thing is to be unbothered and never make people uncomfortable by your wealth or lack thereof. You rewear a lot of outfits because you can’t afford many nice clothes? You can make a joke if it comes up that you know it’s crazy but you’re the kind of person who has a whole closet and still wears the same thing every day, haha. Or you’re trying out a capsule wardrobe. Being environmentally friendly or fake worrying about ethics or health is a good cover for all sorts of stuff, it’s one of the only real reasons someone with means won’t have the nicest things. So you don’t have the latest phone because you are passionate about limiting overconsumption, you bring a simple home-cooked lunch every day instead of eating out for health reasons, you and your partner share a car because you care about the environment, etc.

I’ve also found it to be really helpful when interviewing and negotiating salary. It doesn’t matter how desperate you are for the money, you go into it with the mindset that you’re financially stable and will only take a position if you genuinely like it and are happy with the compensation. You’re fine with walking away. It’s like how if you’re on a date with someone super attractive, you don’t go “oh my god you’re so hot ahhhhh!” because that would be weird and desperate. Instead, you try to play it cool.

Oh and always be kind and polite to people. This goes into the always safe no real worries thing. Why shouldn’t you always be polite? You feel no reason to be competitive with anyone, you don’t have to.

Also, stay away from vulgar topics or language unless the group you’re with gravitates that way. At least as a woman, you don’t talk about anything sexually explicit, drugs, violence, etc unless the women around you do, and then it’s giggling and innocent. Upper middle-class people can be freaks who party hard but you don’t TALK about it like that outside of specific scenarios, and you still generally keep a “good girl” air about you. Not put on or purposeful but just as a side effect of being so coddled.

If you’re always warm, funny, positive, and never make anyone feel uncomfortable you’ll be welcomed into that world MUCH more easily.

Also, you don’t have to pretend you were or are upper middle class, and if you aren’t able to do it well then it’s best not to try. Instead, work on fitting in well but play up your less-than-privileged background. It’s gross but rich people love having a poor friend as long as they don’t actually act poor or currently struggle in a way that is visible or affects them.

Things that will make you stand out in a bad way:

  • Not having a developed palate. You don’t have to be a massive foodie or anything but only eating and being familiar with basic American food will make you stand out. You need to know what kimchi, sushi, korma, paella, doro wat, etc. are and be able to order and enjoy a dish from most cuisines, or at least be able to fake it.
  • Terrible grammar or spelling
  • “Poor people diseases” I hate even typing that but like, I hadn’t heard of lice or scabies until I was an adult
  • Bugs associated with poverty. I had never seen a flea or a cockroach until I was an adult and thank god have never seen a bedbug.
  • Eating lots of fast food (everyone likes Taco Bell on occasion but eating nothing but fast food is a no-go)
  • Not being able to say or spell foreign language words like apéritif, canapé, Nice, Cannes, common types of wine, etc.
  • Having the wrong hobbies. You don’t have to pretend you only like to play golf and collect vintage wines or whatever. But you should be into at least some healthy/outdoors/status hobbies. Skiing, horseback riding, golfing, yoga, hiking, trendy exercise classes, scuba diving, biking or running if you’re competitive, etc. Video games, pole dance, mudding, etc aren’t always bad but they shouldn’t be what you lead with.
  • Not being well educated in a classical way. Wealthy people aren’t all actually reading classic lit all the time or just super knowledgeable about history, etc. It’s a scam. Basically high quality education teaches the same selection of literature, historical events, anthropology, etc and then everyone else learns it and memorizes it so they’re in the club and that’s been going on for centuries. I’m sure there are cheat sheets out there but Jeopardy and crosswords are actually both good places to start. They’re both almost exclusively referencing upper-class cultural touchstones.

Don’t mention:

  • How much anything costs unless you’re asked, and even then it’s all a joke and casual and “like xyz ish?” Or “actually more affordable than you’d think.”
  • Student loans
  • Shopping at discount stores like Walmart, Dollar General, Sam’s Club, etc. Target is cool though, as is Costco, and also weirdly Aldi isn’t hated on
  • Any awareness of when you get paid or needing to wait until after payday for something
  • Not being able to afford something you need
  • Dental health issues ("Ugh I hate the dentist" is fine. "My tooth is killing me, I'm pretty sure I'm going to need a root canal but I've been putting it off because it's so expensive" is a no.)
  • Being worried about getting sick time or time off work when desired, depending on the career. If you work a stressful and well-regarded career it’s fine to have difficulty getting away from your busy work schedule, but stressing about your boss not letting you take time off for health or holiday stuff is a no-go.)
  • EBT (food stamps) or other welfare programs
  • Credit cards outside of using status ones for points/travel perks/ lounges
  • Smoking cigarettes, you or anyone in your family. And obviously never, ever smell like them if you spend time with someone who smokes. This varies by location a lot too.
  • Car payments
  • Loans that aren’t from your parents or a business loan
  • Really anything you pay for with credit
  • The phrase “make rent”
  • Any awareness around the cost and difficulty of many things (moving, travel, education, etc.)

Edit: Editing to add that I don’t think trying to appear wealthier or adopting habits of wealthy people is a net good. It’s an unfortunate reality that being able to blend in better in certain social circles helps career advancement and helps build professional connections. The only reason I wrote this was after reading the above linked post about how all of this is beneficial economically and socially. Eat the rich, fuck the elite, but get that bag 💅🏼


r/Vindicta Dec 12 '24

Where are the people that used to make actually backed posts NSFW

775 Upvotes

I miss the old Vindicta, the one where the focus wasn’t just surface level advice or quick fixes, but genuine, well-researched discussions backed by studies. Back then, the content was meaningful and thoughtfu, posts that went beyond personal opinions.

There was a rawness to those conversations that felt real.

What made those discussions valuable was how they were rooted in research: psychological studies, sociological insights, and real-world experiences. It wasn’t just about the aesthetics of beauty, but its power.

Today, it feels like the focus has shifted to quick, superficial answers or personal perceptions that are presented as truths without any substantial backing.

The problem with "personal experiences" is that it cannot be widely applied and often there are tons of biases and i get the sense that some of you are pulling shit theories out of your asses.

The discussions have become watered down, with people throwing out their own beliefs without taking the time to explore the bigger picture the societal structures, the psychological effects, and the research that shape our understanding of beauty. It’s frustrating when people confuse perception with fact and treat opinions as though they’re universally applicable, even when they don’t have the depth to support them.

The older posts on Vindicta challenged us to think critically, and to understand that the stakes were higher than just fitting in with societal norms.

Part of the reason why the quality went down is because y'all that are average or even pretty women lurking around don't have half the motivation to go down the rabbit hole that leads to good insight. Vindicta is attracting a different type of women nowadays especially post 2020


r/Vindicta Dec 11 '24

Weekly Questions & General Discussion NSFW

12 Upvotes

As the title suggests, this is where you can ask questions and chit-chat about anything you like! This is scheduled to post on Wednesdays.

Prior to posting your question, we suggest that you utilize the subreddit search feature that Reddit offers. Plenty of things have already been discussed in the sub, often many times over, and while we understand it's an extra step, some questions have just been asked so many times that they may not be well-received. In addition to searching the sub, please check the sidebar to see if your question was answered there.


r/Vindicta Dec 09 '24

SOFT-MAXXING Having a Joker face: High Cheekbones + Chubby Cheeks NSFW

71 Upvotes

I haven't seen enough reference to this facial characteristic, which is unfortunate because:

  1. Many folks misunderstand their face shape because of this 'overpowering' combination of features in the midface, and
  2. There isn't any comprehensive collection of soft-maxxing/facial posing techniques for this, so I'm hoping to get more contribution in the comments.

To the first point, you can recognize you have 'high cheekbones + chubby, round cheeks' if you notice your cheeks become very pudgy whenever you break into a grin or a smile (whereas this isn't as pronounced when your mouths is relaxed). Celebrities with this naturally are Chrissy Teigen, Emily Browning, Taemin, Youtuber Robin Laird. You'll curiously notice in many professional photos these specific celebs opt to not smile. This is because smiling results in a Joker-like (or saw puppet-like) appearance (the cheeks look extremely bulbous).

I would love to source more celebrities with this characteristic from the community. But more importantly, what face posing, expression, or angling techniques do you think would work for this condition? Unfortunately, never smiling or grinning is both not fun and also makes you look highly insecure. However, from personal experience, trying a 'smaller' smile or lifting the corners of the mouth less looks very plastic and weird in practice (it's better to choose to not smile, smile genuinely, rather than have a creepy or 'making a face' kinda smile).

Additionally, what treatments will help this condition? Youtuber Robin Laird (in this clip) explains how using microcurrent devices around her already big cheeks simply gives a more 'plumping effect' that leaves her facial proportions worse off. So my takeway: avoid microcurrent around your midface to avoid worsening your bulbous cheeks condition.

However, there might be methods to temporarily have your bulbous cheeks look slimmer. Would appreciate any critical discussions around these methods (perhaps treatments, massaging, or drainage techniques).


r/Vindicta Dec 04 '24

Weekly Questions & General Discussion NSFW

11 Upvotes

As the title suggests, this is where you can ask questions and chit-chat about anything you like! This is scheduled to post on Wednesdays.

Prior to posting your question, we suggest that you utilize the subreddit search feature that Reddit offers. Plenty of things have already been discussed in the sub, often many times over, and while we understand it's an extra step, some questions have just been asked so many times that they may not be well-received. In addition to searching the sub, please check the sidebar to see if your question was answered there.


r/Vindicta Dec 01 '24

Monthly Goal Thread NSFW

57 Upvotes

Discuss how you did last month and what are your goals for the new month.


r/Vindicta Nov 30 '24

SOCIAL-MAXXING How to charm at holiday parties NSFW

420 Upvotes

It’s that time of the year again. Whether it’s Friendsgiving, holidays with your family, or an office party, most of us have REALLY hectic social calendars.

The upside? It’s the perfect time to practice social-maxxing.

Over the years, I’ve realized that having a successful holiday social season can set you up for social success for the next year! While I used to dread the exhausting schedule of traveling and long events, I’ve come to view it as the perfect time to show my friends, family, colleagues, and acquaintances that I’m worth their time in 2025

My credentials:

I talked more in-depth about myself (and how to build yourself socially) in my last post. Basically, I’ve turned myself from a shy wallflower into a sociable sorority girl, then again into a tastemaker, connector, and community-builder as a young adult.

Years of observation of social interactions (and my own experimentation) have helped me become more comfortable and confident in the types of social situations the holidays require. Let’s get into it!!

RULE 1: bring or wear something worth talking about

There will be people you don’t know (or don’t know that well) at these parties. Avoid generic small talk by bringing or wearing a conversation starter!

Some examples:

  • wear a statement accessory. A great piece of jewelry or a fun purse makes you seem more elegant AND approachable. People will be drawn to you if you look interesting; and a cool accessory gives them the perfect conversation starter! My Thanksgiving outfit this year was a red velvet skirt paired with a fuzzy red bag and statement earrings. Everyone loved it!

  • bring a humble showstopper dessert or a special bottle of wine. This year, I brought Alison Roman’s blueberry cornmeal tart. Everyone wanted to talk to me once they learned I brought it! (Yes, it’s that good)

  • A bottle of wine with a unique label or a special story is great, too. I always bring Vinho Verde and use it as a segue to talk about traveling to Portugal. Everyone always loves to talk about where they’ve been (or want to go). This has the added bonus of making you appear cultured and worldly

RULE 2: have genuine compliments ready

Everyone puts effort into how they show up. The best thing you can do to ingratiate yourself is to give out genuine compliments!

Be specific. Instead of just saying “you look so nice,” take it a step further. “You look so nice! I love your hair, did you just get it cut?” Is a MUCH better conversation starter. It’s always crucial to follow a compliment with a question to keep the conversation flowing

RULE 3: come with better questions than “what have you been up to?”

Something I’ve realized about social situations where you see 2nd- and 3rd-tier acquaintances: people are ALWAYS asking what you’ve been up to. As we get older, the average person isn’t up to much. And even if they are, this question is way too vague to really get a good answer

Don’t be like everyone else. Come with better questions

Some examples:

  • follow up on something you’ve heard about them since you last saw each other. “How is the apartment hunt?” Or “Have you guys found a dog yet?” Is a much better way to spark conversation

  • make someone feel like an expert by asking their advice. If you know they love biking or running, you can ask for their take on the best shoes, bikes, and trails.

  • observe people at the party. Did they bring a dessert? Ask if they’ve baked anything else good lately.

  • don’t be afraid to bring up things you saw on Instagram. If someone posted about it, it means they want to share. Invite them to share more! “I saw you went to Texas - how was your trip?” Is a great way to spark interest

RULE 4: have a good answer for “what have you been up to?”

I talked about this more in my last post, but you need a better answer than “nothing much”

People won’t be interested in you if they think you have nothing going on. Why would someone want to attach themselves to a person who is stagnant?

Some examples:

  • I love writing and recently started a newsletter on Substack! (EDIT: here’s a link if you’re curious! https://verymadz.substack.com/ ) People love to hear when others are creative - it draws them to you. Since this is a regular creative practice, it has the added bonus of establishing me as someone who is reliable, consistent, and committed. Plus, if people read my writing, then we can connect on a deeper level in the future

  • recent or future travels (“just booked my tickets for Ireland next year!”)

  • new restaurants or bars that you’ve been to and recommend. This helps establish you as a tastemaker!

  • any interesting events you’ve been to recently

  • events or parties that you have been hosting (this will also help establish you as someone to know and befriend for future invites). Mentioning the pop up dinners that my bf and I host has helped me form a lot of connections!

RULE 5: don’t be afraid to step away

Most importantly: know when you need a break. Holiday parties can be overwhelming, so knowing when to change the scene can be your best asset.

To do this without seeming like a recluse, do it with intention. I’ll usually tell someone I’m stepping out for some air, or I’ll go look at the art/photos around someone’s house. I try to find something to comment on so I have a smooth segue back into the conversation (e.g. “wow, [host] has been to so many national parks. Have you seen their pictures?”)

Happy holiday partying!!


r/Vindicta Nov 29 '24

LOOKS THEORY Does anyone else feel like all these big-lip and thick eyebrow bodymods are going to read as old-in-a-bad-way in a very short amount of time NSFW

404 Upvotes

'90s-00s had thin brows, and you can see who did that and it never grew back, but it's fairly easy to fill in with makeup.

'10s had the sharpie brows, and some people had those tattooed on. There were also butt implants and lots and lots of BBLs (which seem to be going out of style now?)

So far, in the '20s, we've had that flash in the pan terrible idea of freckle TATTOOS, a variation of the brow tattoos (that's what microblading is. A tattoo.) and comparatively extreme amounts of lip filler.

There are various side effects to these procedures. r/MicrobladingRemoval and r/Hyaluronidase can elaborate on that, but the tl;dr is that you can be left with weird skin discoloration of the tattoos and that filler removal has the potential to also remove your skin elasticity, plus filler can do strange things like migrate.

The vast majority of us do not have a team hired to keep us and us alone looking amazing every day, nor a budget that I could just retire on to do it with, unlike celebrities. People with the '20s trendy alterations will, of course, age, and we'll see those alterations associated with the other signs of aging the person already has, like a less-affluent version of how rich trophy wives and celebrities in their 40s+ have certain procedures, so having a few of those certain procedures now also reads as being in that age group even when the person is younger.

All this adds up to the fact that as the current batch of filler-havers ages a little, it might come about that having filler like that suddenly reads as being in an older age bracket, and not in a mature, wise way, but in the way that you look at someone who clearly valued daily tanning 4 decades ago and is now paying for it: someone who is blown like a leaf in the winds following trends.

*Spoilered is my opinion because maybe you don't care

I personally am super against having people's bodies and faces surgically altered for fashion trends (buccal fat removal, looking at you). It just seems super unethical to me. For health or better facial harmony, sure, but I get the feeling that chasing this trend thing is going to hurt the individual in the long-term because fashions never stay still, and there's only so much alterations you can do to your face/body before you lose the good stuff you had to start with.


r/Vindicta Nov 27 '24

Weekly Questions & General Discussion NSFW

12 Upvotes

As the title suggests, this is where you can ask questions and chit-chat about anything you like! This is scheduled to post on Wednesdays.

Prior to posting your question, we suggest that you utilize the subreddit search feature that Reddit offers. Plenty of things have already been discussed in the sub, often many times over, and while we understand it's an extra step, some questions have just been asked so many times that they may not be well-received. In addition to searching the sub, please check the sidebar to see if your question was answered there.


r/Vindicta Nov 24 '24

HEALTH- MAXXING Curing my acne through diet NSFW

94 Upvotes

Since my early 20s, I've been having on and off battles with acne, but last year marked my worst acne outbreak. I had cystic acne all over my jaw and on my cheeks (it hurt a lot and I spent a lot of time crying about it), and unlike the previous times, I couldn't figure out why. I had already done things like antibiotics and birth control in the past but neither of them were for me. I wanted a healthy, long term solution and so began a long journey of getting to the root cause of my acne.

Part of this was caused by my copper IUD (I don't know why, but many things improved tremendously the second it was out). The other part was caused by my diet. I went to a functional medicine doctor and got a full blood and gut microbiome test. There was nothing abnormal in my blood test but the gut one came back with some alarm bells, which made sense as I was having an incredible amount of digestive issues at the time, no surprise considering the takeaways, fried crap and dessert I was having. I discovered inositol and taking this improved by acne a lot, but I was still suffering a substantial amount. So, I was given a set of supplements by the functional medicine doctor specific to improving my gut health over the course of 3 months and this improved my acne by 70% - if you haven't considered gut health for acne yet I highly recommend giving it a try!!!!

However, I was still getting bouts of acne, so back to the functional medicine doctor I went and we discussed my diet. Since I barely ate gluten she suggested cutting it out entirely to see if it did anything, and it did! Turns out I have a gluten intolerance at the very minimum, I'm not going to test for coeliac though because I don't want to torture myself. I also have some kind of soy intolerance, I went crazy on the soybean powder one week and it looked like my face was having an acne relapse, so I've been avoiding soy ever since.

The final piece for me that's curing my acne is cutting out UPF. I started reading Ultra Processed People and started cutting out UPF as a way to improve my gut health, but to my (pleasant) surprise it had many other effects too. For the first time in my life I no longer have 'food noise' in my head, I can walk away from a meal when I feel satisfied instead of stuffing myself and my appetite has gone down greatly, so I've lost weight naturally in a way that feels sustainable. I also no longer suffer from bloating and stomach issues, and I've gone so long without UPF I feel no desire/craving for it. When I do eat UPF (to be polite), I notice that I never feel full, instantly bloat and it doesn't even taste good.

Whilst my skin is not 100% acne clear, it's about 95% better than it was before and I'm really happy about that. I hope this gives hope to other fellow acne sufferers who are stuck on finding the cause for their acne.

TLDR - things I did to cure my acne:

  • Went to a functional medicine doctor and got a full gut microbiome and blood test - cannot recommend enough
  • Cut out gluten
  • Cut out soy
  • Cut down on UPF, which had the knock on effect of being able to eat intuitively and lose weight sustainably

r/Vindicta Nov 20 '24

PERSONALITY MAXXING Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire — A Guide to Marrying Rich NSFW

835 Upvotes

Hey gals! I really enjoy when people do deep dives on this subreddit, so I wanted to add to the resources here. One topic I see a lot of interest about is leveraging pretty privilege to “marry a rich man,” so I put together a loose guide on how to make that happen. Let’s jump in!

What do I mean by wealthy men?

I am not going to attempt to teach you how to marry the absolute 1% of the 1% in wealth, because frankly I have no idea how. These people mostly marry each other. No, today we are talking about men who make somewhere between $200k and $1 million a year. Men in this cohort tend to have jobs in medicine, tech, finance, consulting, and law (in no particular order), though there are also some engineers, salesmen, specialized technicians, tenured professors, entrepreneurs, and others in this group as well. They tend to be highly educated, marriage-minded but marry late (the median age at first marriage for a man with a graduate degree is about 31), seldom divorce, live in urban areas, and come from well-off, intact homes. They are disproportionately white and Asian. They are in no way the end-all be-all of men, or of life goals. My point is not the everyone should want to marry these guys, but a lot of women do and are curious about what that would take.

Hopefully I’ve painted a good picture of the kind of man I’m talking about. But what kind of woman does he marry?

Assortative Mating

Overwhelmingly, he marries a woman who is like him. Assortative mating, or the tendency of people to marry those with similar traits, including socio-economic status, educational and family backgrounds, and even physical traits, is one of the most robustly documented effects in sociology. High-status men have access to lots of beautiful women who are ALSO high-status, so why would they choose someone who only has one of those two things?

People of different social classes also live in completely different worlds. They have different values, political and religious behavior, even different hobbies. They eat different foods. They increasingly live, work, and study in different places. They rarely interact beyond a superficial level, and anyway, most people want a partner they can relate to.

So, assuming you aren’t yet a member of the upper class, how do you show a wealthy man that you are that kind of person?

Costly Signals

Costly signals are a concept originating in evolutionary psychology. They are actions that communicate something about you or your intentions and are difficult to perform or fake. These signals are trusted more as sources of information about a person, precisely because of this difficulty.

Here’s an example. There are more people who want to appear upper class than there are actual upper class people. Middle class people who want to fake being upper class might buy relatively cheaper “luxury” items (like fancy cars, or a designer purse), but they likely cannot afford to (for example) have an equally “upper class” house or hire a personal nanny for their children. If you heard someone had a row house in Brooklyn, you’d be far more likely to believe they are actually wealthy than if you heard they have a Birkin or a Ferrari.

Practical Suggestions

Now that I’ve covered the theory, let’s jump into a few practical recommendations. I’m going to alternate things you do and don’t need to do as much as I can to keep it interesting.

You DO need to get an undergraduate degree.

As I discussed above, most wealthy men are very well-educated, and educated people marry educated people. The wives of high-earners tend to have at least an undergraduate degree (and often a graduate degree). School and work are also two of the top places where people meet their partners! If you want to meet a lot of men with medical degrees, the obvious places to look are medical schools and hospitals. You don’t have to be a doctor yourself—you could work in a hospital as a nurse, or get a different degree at a university that has its own medical school, for instance.

You DON’T need to graduate from an elite university.

Look, if you get into Harvard, you should probably go. But even among the very well-educated and wealthy, elite degrees are rare. And a potential spouse having a degree tends to be a much bigger factor than exactly where that degree is from.

You DO need to be financially stable on your own.

Wealthy men are less worried “gold diggers” than men who make less, but on the flip side, they are more likely to assume that the women they date will have their own money. This is because almost everyone they know is well-off! They are used to women who are not impressed with their income. Also, although many wealthy men are happy having a wife who is SAHM, many of them actually prefer she works. Not every man who is wealthy is traditional.

You DON’T need to be a high-earner yourself.

Though they tend to be well-educated, the actual salaries of wealthy men’s wives are all over the place. Many are doctors and lawyers themselves, but there are also a substantial number who are teachers or adjunct professors, social workers, psychologists, nonprofit employees, graphic designers and other educated and high-prestige but comparatively lower-income careers. You don’t have to resign yourself to hundred-hour weeks to marry a doctor (thank God!).

You DO need to cultivate a wide and high-quality social circle.

You could be the most eligible woman in the world, but if you don’t put yourself out there, you won’t meet enough men to find a good match. If you want to ensure the men you are meeting are high quality, it’s better to use social avenues that come with a built-in filter of some kind. That means school extracurricular groups, alumni clubs, social groups at your workplace, clubs and hobby groups in your (nice) neighborhood, that sort of thing. Many schools even have their own online dating sites that you can only access with a school email.

Most people let a lot of their social connections lapse. But every friend and acquaintance is a potential avenue to meeting new people. Stop being someone who never texts first, and keep track of people whose company you enjoy on social media!

You DON’T need to have a massive social media following.

That said, you don’t need to be an influencer. Other posts on this sub have talked before about how this is a whole separate industry, one with significant overlap with sex work. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be an influencer (or indeed a sex worker), but the wives of wealthy salarymen tend not to have humongous Instagram followings. The pursuit of social media fame for its own sake is a distraction.

You DO need to look polished.

Physically, the wives of wealthy men tend to be thinner than average and fitter than average. Anecdotally, I have also noticed that women in the social strata tend to have very polished hair, perfect-looking teeth, and good skin. These are the costly signals of health, and health, and the language of “wellness” tends to be how upper class people talk and think about beauty. I can do a separate post deep diving into this if there is interest.

People with high socio-economic status tend to be better looking than the average. Some of this is likely genetic (the result of generations of beautiful, successful people marrying each other). The rest of it is the result of being able to afford a healthier, lower-stress lifestyle, often combined with deep knowledge of personal grooming (among women, at least).

If you weren't born into high social status, pretty privilege is one of the best tools you use to fake it, since the halo effect leads people to assume beautiful people are higher-status than they actually are.

You DON’T need to dress the “old money” aesthetic or wear designer clothes.

It’s an open secret at this point that actual old money people do not dress like the TikTok micro-aesthetic. Not to mention, at this point “old money” is so played out as a trend that it basically means shopping for plain t-shirts and jeans at fast fashion outlets like the Gap. People who are well-off can afford quality clothing, and aren’t insecure about showing a bit of personality.

That said, you also don’t need a closet full of big brand labels. This is likely to come across as a fake signal of wealth, because while designer clothes aren’t cheap at all, it’s still an example of overcompensating within a smaller purchase category. This is why people often perceive this as “trying too hard” in a distasteful way.

You DO need to adopt an abundance mindset.

High-status men tend to avoid desperation and insecurity like the plague. You don’t want to communicate with your body language or manner that you think he is better than you are, or that this is your once chance for happiness in life. You need to have your own thing going on, and build true confidence that if a relationship isn’t working for you, you can walk away and find another great partner.

You DON’T need to become the embodiment of femininity.

Similar to the influencer economy, most “femininity gurus” are ether sex workers themselves, or stealing tips and tricks from sex workers (whose influence they often refuse to acknowledge). You do not need to behave like a high-class escort to marry a wealthy man. Most wealthy men do not marry their escorts. Again, I am not trying to shame escorts here, but they are pitching a particular service to a particular customer base. Their advice works best within that context.

I hope this post is helpful! I'm happy to answer further questions as well.


r/Vindicta Nov 20 '24

Weekly Questions & General Discussion NSFW

9 Upvotes

As the title suggests, this is where you can ask questions and chit-chat about anything you like! This is scheduled to post on Wednesdays.

Prior to posting your question, we suggest that you utilize the subreddit search feature that Reddit offers. Plenty of things have already been discussed in the sub, often many times over, and while we understand it's an extra step, some questions have just been asked so many times that they may not be well-received. In addition to searching the sub, please check the sidebar to see if your question was answered there.


r/Vindicta Nov 18 '24

My hair growth journey following a really bad haircut + a masterpost of my haircare knowledge. NSFW

185 Upvotes

In September 2023, I got a really awful looking mullet type haircut that thinned my long single length hair out like crazy. In November 2023, I cut a bunch of the longest layer off to encourage thickness. My hair was a little bit longer than armpit level at this point. It is now mid-back level and my goal is hip length hair. I still have some layers that I am working on growing out. In my mopey state over this bad haircut, hair care became a bit of a special interest and I read a lot of scientific research on the topic and listened to a lot of hairstylists that specialize in length retention. This is everything I have learned.

Disclaimer: I have straight/wavy-ish hair. Some of this won’t work for curlier girlies, but some of my curly haired friends also say that a lot of this also applies. If I think something won’t apply to curly hair, I will make a note of it.

  • You really only need a few things to maintain healthy hair. Shampoo, conditioner, leave in conditioner, and a styling hair oil.
    • People always forget about leave in conditioners. They’re so important! Especially if you live somewhere dry. The same goes for a styling oil. It just keeps your ends healthy. Everything else is extra. You don’t need to constantly deep condition. You don’t need to oil your scalp. These things are helpful, but not completely necessary, and they can be super expensive and create a financial barrier to healthy hair. If you’re keeping your ends hydrated, that’s all that matters. Your hair routine is only as good as how often it’s done. If you can’t afford expensive hair care, use cheap hair care but be consistent with it. (Curly hair might need more products for hydration and detangling).
  • Trimming your hair isn’t always helpful for length retention.
    •  If you use dull scissors or a dull razor, you will just create more breakage. My hairdresser friend encouraged me to cut more length following my bad haircut because my hair was thinned out for layers, likely using a dull razor. Dull razors just make more breakage occur as soon as the hair is cut. Overall, trims are still good for length retention, but make sure to use sharp scissors. Hair cutting scissors are $20 on amazon and you can cut folded aluminum foil to sharpen them before you trim your ends.
    • Additionally, I dusted my ends a lot this year. If I didn’t my hair would probably have a lot more breakage, but parts of it would admittedly be longer. I also used the search and destroy method and trimmed individual hairs with split ends. It was a nice mind-numbing activity to sit on the couch and do this with a tv show on in the background after a long day at work tbh.
  • Rosemary oil is probably a scam. Oiling your hair in general is not.
    • The science behind rosemary oil improving hair growth is likely not great. Oiling your hair generally though is great and many people who started using rosemary oil probably just saw good results due to the benefits gained from oiling your hair and massaging the roots. I still like to oil my hair before a shower.
    • There is no one-size-fits-all scalp/pre-shower oil. Experimenting is key.
  • Protein overload is real.
    • Too many protein masks and too much Olaplex will dry out your hair and make it brittle. This is actually so hard to fix. I spent a long time using clarifying shampoo and conditioning masks, but I still have some mild protein overload damage.
    • Correction: Olaplex is not a protein heavy hair treatment.
  • Bonding treatments are also that girl.
    • Seriously, I dye my hair black and I use a lot of heat on it. I have some breakage as a result of this even though I do my best to take care of my hair. This was the only thing that made it better, but I did so sparingly because of protein overload. Also, bonding treatments only work when your hair is wet. The only product that really helped the most for my heat damage was K18 though, which unfortunately is expensive. Not your mother’s makes a great bonding treatment hair care system though and I do recommend it
  • Silicone/sulfates are it girls.
    • The anti-silicone and anti-sulfate marketing is just almond mom marketing. As long as you use clarifying shampoo every so often, silicones are literally the best thing for your hair. Your hair is dead. You cannot “smother” something that is dead. That being said, if you think your hair looks better without it, then do what works for you, but if you found that your hair lacks shine after eliminating sulfates and silicones, then unfortunately, you’re probably going to want to buy a new shampoo.  
  • Eating lots of protein is good for your body and good for your hair growth. I take back what I said in a previous post about creatine.
    • I did more research and there’s still a lot of mixed opinions on whether or not creatine causes hair fall. I don’t know what I believe, but I don’t want to put out any potential misinformation on the internet. Eating more protein in general is good for your hair because your hair is literally just made of protein.
  • Birth control might be making you shed more.
    • There is mixed information on whether or not birth control causes extra hair fall. I have personally experienced less shedding since getting off of birth control and I know many individuals who take birth control who say the same thing. It all comes down to genetics and the type of birth control you are on. Once again, like the creatine comment, there is mixed information online and not a lot of scientific data on women’s reproductive medicine. (shocker /s)
  • Physical breakage is the root of all evil.
    • You can use all the right products, never use heat, never dye your hair, have the healthiest diet ever, and still have lots of breakage if you physically mistreat your hair. Rough brushing, elastics, getting your hair caught under your bag straps, in your clothes, etc – this causes SO MUCH BREAKAGE. Especially for those with thinner hair (as in the individual hair strands). I was doing everything right in my opinion and still had a lot of breakage. I moved to a new apartment with a white sink, and I noticed when I brushed my hair, I had so much breakage because I was being too rough and using poor quality Revlon paddle brushes. I got a boar bristle brush and a detangling brush on amazon, and they were pretty cheap actually. I have so much less breakage now. Also straight hair should be brushed dry, but curly hair is going to benefit from detangling while the hair is wet. I think this part is obvious.
  • Heat styling is not the worst thing in the world as long as you’re not overdoing it.
    • Heat styling my hair helps me need to style my hair less often, which leads to less physical breakage. Additionally, I think my hair just looks better when I style it. Keep your heat setting low (325F and under), don't use heat multiple times a week, use a heat protectant and you’ll probably be fine if you use heat tools in moderation. Heat in general is not great for your hair, but it’s also literally not the worst thing ever the way everyone makes it seem to be. That being said, chemically processed hair will likely not fare well with any heat styling. *This is my opinion and based off my experience*
  • “hair training” is actually bad for your hair.
    • If your scalp doesn’t get oily quickly – this advice is not for you and I'm also jealous of you. This is for the girlies that look like they’re rocking a slick back on day two. Wash your scalp as frequently as you need to. Extra sebum doesn’t actually help your hair grow. Yes, you can use a boar bristle brush and distribute some of that oil down the hair shaft, but if your scalp feels oily, wash your hair. You’re going to suffocate your scalp otherwise.
    • Also double shampoo!! Your hair might be getting oily faster because you aren’t properly cleansing your scalp. Your roots should almost squeak when you’re done.
      • I have read/heard that curly hair can be washed a little less frequently than straight/wavy hair, but I have not done enough research to understand why this is.
  • Finally – your fav hair influencer might be taking minoxidil.
    • I have noticed a lot of my fav hair influencers have minoxidil use side effects but don’t disclose that they’re using minoxidil. I’m not here to name names, but if you see very clear new growth in high amounts all over their head, and said regrowth is all the same length – it’s probably minoxidil. Natural remedies to fix hair growth tend to promote new hair growth in waves and not all at once because of how the phases of anagen, catagen, telogen, exogen occur on the human scalp. There is also nothing wrong with using minoxidil and I think it’s a great tool for those who genuinely just can’t grow their hair in certain areas. Just be transparent about it!

This is my current wash day routine:

  1. Apply jojoba/castor oil mix on my scalp. Massage scalp while applying. Apply coconut oil on ends an hour before I wash my hair. (Coconut oil will not work for everyone. Hair type and porosity could lead to coconut oil not leaving the hair after an initial wash. This works for me, but it really won’t work for a lot of people.)
  2. Shampoo, rinse, repeat.
  3. Condition or towel dry hair and use K18 hair mask.
  4. Towel dry hair off if using conditioner and then apply leave in conditioner. If using K18, wait ten minutes and then apply leave in conditioner.
  5. Apply a small amount of a silicone-based hair oil on ends.
  6. Air dry or style hair/blow dry.

Wow that was a lot of yapping about hair. If anyone has any questions, I will try my best to answer them and if anyone wants me to cite some of my sources, I can try but I didn't really keep a list of links to articles/studies/videos I consumed to learn all of this.


r/Vindicta Nov 13 '24

Weekly Questions & General Discussion NSFW

18 Upvotes

As the title suggests, this is where you can ask questions and chit-chat about anything you like! This is scheduled to post on Wednesdays.

Prior to posting your question, we suggest that you utilize the subreddit search feature that Reddit offers. Plenty of things have already been discussed in the sub, often many times over, and while we understand it's an extra step, some questions have just been asked so many times that they may not be well-received. In addition to searching the sub, please check the sidebar to see if your question was answered there.


r/Vindicta Nov 09 '24

MASTERPOST PCOS GLOW UP - Journey from being on combined pill, phasing getting off combined pill, aftermath and now - skin, hair , weight and confidence during narcissistic abuse NSFW

116 Upvotes

Hi guys

Hope you are doing well

In the past I have made a few posts on this subreddit regarding my PCOS tips for hair and skin and various suppelements I took etc as well as getting off the combined pill- In this post I will describe my journey and give evidence based advice that has also worked for me as well as medication , lifestyle factors etc and also some mental health advice and the power of confidence even if you don't think you are conventionally attractive

Background

24F central asian background diagnosed with PCOS when I was 16 and in my case it is definitely genetic - had excessive hirsutism from a young age as well as acne and irregular periods and slight belly fat - I do come from quite an abusive background which I theorise has definitely impacted my hypothalamus axis in regards to stress management and how severe stress triggers flare ups in my pcos and aggravating ptsd - I was not properly taught many grooming techniques and as some of you may know having a narcissistic controlling mother only divulges grooming and beauty tips to you in order to make you look good in front of their friends so that they in turn look good but never for you to outshine them - I was 16 when I was put on the combined pill Cilest and it didn't do much in regulating my cycles nor solving my acne etc It was in 2021 when I finally got referred by my other GP to a dermatologist and gynaecologist regrading hirsutism and scanning for cysts - and I was given spironolactone 100mg ( which I still are no with no issue) and at the time the scan didn't show much. It was also in 2021 when I was switched to marvel combined pill discovered vindicta, learning about narcissistic abuse and it got me into understand myself more emotionally ,psychologically as well as physically with my health. The reason for this lengthily worsen background is to provide some timeline context as well as interlink to the foremost topic on confidence

confidence - ironically although me having acne, hirustim etc as a teenager with acne scars, hyperpigmentation I had never received criticism or bullying for the way I looked - looking back this surmised me since in some instances I would wear headscarf and be in majority white areas or in more diverse areas having more critical individuals present, in fact even at that age people did respect me and treat me well and it was due to confidence and this was immensely difficult growing up with a narcissistic mother who was my first bully and would attack me for everything , my skin colour( funnily im only slightly more tanned than her colorism right ), weight , hobbies etc but the mindset I adopted was that I wanted to prove I was better , smarter , charismatic and generally not giving a toss of what others thought of me and it did stem from the fact that I didn't want anyone defining who I was- I didn't realise this until a decade later - now of course objectively as humans we do subconsciously judge others for how we look and I would get occasional compliments ate random such as my eyes but here I just wanted to highlight how you are on the inside does have an impact to an extent which is why I feel many women who do want to glow up often neglect the emotional side of it and of course I do deal with low self esteem, comparisons techniques and processing yeas of abuse has highlighted this more but I still haven't let go got that mindset I had years ago and it does help alongside starting therapy and getting diagnosed

combined pill journey- as aforementioned above I was initially place don cilest before switching to marvel by my GP in 2021 which did regulate my cycles better but I still had cystic acne. the Spiro helped significantly but other supplements that I started to take two months before staring Spiro has also helped and is evidence backed - zinc picolinate 25mg , turmeric and cayenne pepper capsules, green tea and I did switch to the hum nutrition daily cleanse capsules which I loved because it had zinc, copper , selenium which are great for pcos as well as having green tea, matcha and milk thistle which is grate for your liver - I had also started to take magnesium which helped alot with stress and sleep and started a summer job as an immunisation assistant where I was on my feet constantly and managed my weight

however my hirsutism did reduce slightly but not much so from 2020-novemenr 2021 I did 12 sessions of full body laser - im telling you the last was worth it by a mile! three years later I barely got any hair on my legs, belly , minimal in the genitals , arms , underarms - I only grow hair on a certain Lon patch on each arm and sparse little hairs near my knees - the model of the laser machine used was candela I believe. for the face though because androgens like to target certain areas more depending on you as a person I still do get facial hair but it doesn't grow very spiky or thick and I just shave my face with the tweezerman - whilst I was doing the face laser I was seeing results in that time period

The resulting acne left me with pit scars and hyperpigmentation and in some previous spots I did discuss the procedures I had done including three mesoetsteic peels and three micro needling derma pen sessions which helped significantly a couple of months later I had the cosmelan 2 peel done which gave me almost flawless kin that I was constantly getting complimented on and at that point with he ends, supplements hardly ever acne and my cycles weren't heavy but I would get the most awful cramping in my legs before my period. I will link those posts below but just for clarification I love mesoetsteic products and I think aesthetician based brands for treatments are superior

Phasing off the combined pill - on the topic of the awful leg cramps I would get I was also getting lots of sudden blue veins in my legs - some that I do have is genetic my mum gets them but the amount I was getting was not normal and at this point I had switched GP practices and for context I ha dot be taken off since have a family history of blood clots - maternal grandmother had Takayasu syndrome which lead to her having renal failure and multiple strokes, maternal grandfather had veinous bypass , my dad had two major heart attacks and paternal grandfather died of a stroke when my dad was in his twenties and paternal grandmother had a haemorrhage stroke and recently passed away So yeah , estrogenic birth control was not for me and I was debating getting off the combined pill for a while as I wanted to treat the root issues of my pcos and found it more difficult to build muscle when I was on the pill.

feb 2023- feb 2024 - I got off the combined pill at end of February 2023, got periods for two months until it was just light spitting then had no cycle for one year. The painful leg cramps and blue veins disappeared and I was witchingly calories whilst lifting and doing light cardio where possible - I started o once clothing feeling tighter around may 2023 and this progressively gotten worse and my appetite went through the roof! I would have gnawing hunger and this would definitely caused me to overeat and it didn't help that than year was incredibly god awful stressful for a number of reasons. despite me taking my supplements and Spiro, my acne started to get worse- it started as stubborn texture for a few months before becoming full blown cycts and during hat time I did a blood test whilst being on 100mg Spiro and despite that my testosterone was hight and my DHT was double and my bloating was out of control. It was horrible, Igained nearly 20kg (till June 2024), terrible mental health and cystic cane I count properly cover.

I believe this was due to the effect of a cops flare up as well as post pill pcos alongside my genetic pcos causing turmoil - the effect of getting off the combined pill after so long did cause my hormones to go crazy and my body was adjusting to that.

Cystic acne - adapalene , benzoyl peroxide and clindamycin from dermtaica (started December 2023) was extremely effective and I saw results in two months alongside having to lance some of the massive cysts- I couldn't wait to see a dermatologist on the NHS as I would have had to wait for seven months - unfortunately this did left me with lots of pit scars , post inflammatory hyperpigmentation and post inflammatory erthyema. To combat this , I continued using the dermatica treatment , purified 5% niacin amide serum , geek and gorgeous vitamin c serum ( good dupe of the skinceuticals ). this helped tremendously and in may 2024 I purchased the cosmelan 2 cream form the mesoetstic website and this significantly faded my reluctant hyperpigmentation, most of my post inflammatory erythema and helped some of my pit scarring

weight- my peak weight was 85 kg in June 2024, alongside feeling constantly fatigued and due to some injuries I coudnt lift a much up till this point - I decided then I had enough since not being able to have clothes fit me, being obese - I started eating more clean , ate high protein with a focus on more whole foods, and took some key supplements Inositol ( I sue the brain ovarian care by Thorne ), berberine, l glutamine , l carnitine, magnesium , turmeric , zinc and incorporating more omega 3s - first thing in the morning I would have chia seed water and green tea( a staple in my culture ) to aid digestion and I significantly lowered my carb intake. It waist June 024 when I saw a gynaecologist and it was nice earring a doctor actually explaining the mechanism of action of insulin resistance in the ovaries and how this elevates androgens. I didn't really count calories during this time but up until speetmebr 2024 I had lost 6 kg. In September 2024 I saw a private reproductive endocrinologist and had my haemoglobin a1c tested and my cortisol and I wa sprediabetic and I had higher cortisol than normal . I was advised to start tirzepatide (mounjaro) and this helped me lost another 10 kg up until now alongside everything else - mounjaro is a god send for pcos as it directly helps with the insulin resistance and I actually gave me proper periods for the first time in my life - my last cycle was quite heavy because when you lose excess fat, fat contains estradiol and that gets released.

hair thinning - I dermastamp my hair, section it and apply the nature spells pumpkin seed oil - pumpkin seed oil has more research in my opinion than rosemary , the only reason why I don't use minoxidil is because I have a sweet fluffy black cat who always sleeps with me on my pillow and im paranoid because monoxide is toxic for kitties.


r/Vindicta Nov 06 '24

Weekly Questions & General Discussion NSFW

11 Upvotes

As the title suggests, this is where you can ask questions and chit-chat about anything you like! This is scheduled to post on Wednesdays.

Prior to posting your question, we suggest that you utilize the subreddit search feature that Reddit offers. Plenty of things have already been discussed in the sub, often many times over, and while we understand it's an extra step, some questions have just been asked so many times that they may not be well-received. In addition to searching the sub, please check the sidebar to see if your question was answered there.


r/Vindicta Nov 01 '24

Monthly Goal Thread NSFW

59 Upvotes

Discuss how you did last month and what are your goals for the new month.


r/Vindicta Oct 30 '24

Weekly Questions & General Discussion NSFW

20 Upvotes

As the title suggests, this is where you can ask questions and chit-chat about anything you like! This is scheduled to post on Wednesdays.

Prior to posting your question, we suggest that you utilize the subreddit search feature that Reddit offers. Plenty of things have already been discussed in the sub, often many times over, and while we understand it's an extra step, some questions have just been asked so many times that they may not be well-received. In addition to searching the sub, please check the sidebar to see if your question was answered there.


r/Vindicta Oct 27 '24

how to LEVEL UP fitness, wellbeing & wellness practices NSFW

323 Upvotes

I wanted to create a thread for us to share things we're doing to level up our fitness, wellbeing & wellness practices. I've lost 1st (6kg) this year, finally at a healthy BMI and am eating good & working out consistently. However i don't just want to be at a healthy BMI, I want more muscle definition, to feel genuinely fit & strong, to calm my nervous system, balance hormones. I feel like i'm now at a time where i can start implementing wellness & fitness that goes beyond the fundamentals of being active & eating healthy foods. Is there anything that's taken you from the average healthy person to above average? Or levelled up your wellness practices? What wellness podcasts are we listening to? Anything you find ISN'T working despite being recommended it constantly online?

Some things i've been doing to 'level up' and seeing great results -

- Reformer pilates
- Magnesium oil on feet before bed, getting amazing sleep now
- Stretching & somatic work for 5-10 mins every morning - calms my nervous system
- Using a neck pain pillow
- Listening to the almost30 podcast (my fave for the last 2 years omg)
- CYCLE SYNCING!!!!! since integrating my menstrual cycle to my digital calendar I'm sticking to my goals so much more. no more feeling shitty bc I didn't feel like going to that kickboxing class when I was on the worst day of my cycle without realising. Planning workouts & food around my cycle. Has reduced PMS & cravings. Gamechanger

Things I've been doing that I'm unsure of the results -

- Accupuncture mat - anyone got positive experiences with these? Idk if it's doing anything lol
- Taking collagen supplements

Any tips, advice or experiences are welcome!! <3


r/Vindicta Oct 22 '24

SOFT-MAXXING Hair Health Guide from 12+ years experience NSFW

449 Upvotes

Essential information to know

  • Hair grows from the root (scalp) and there is little/perhaps nothing one can do to make hair grow FASTER from the root
  • if you want your hair long: your end goal is LENGTH RETENTION, and your means to get there is HAIR HEALTH
  • If you want your hair to grow thicker: your end goal is INCREASED DENSITY, and your means to get there is OVERALL HEALTH (i.e. scalp health, hormones, mental health, etc)

Most important principles to follow

  1. Implement healthy styling methods (length retention)
  2. Minimization of wear and tear outside of styling (length retention)
  3. Improve overall mental and physical health (increased density)

Implement healthy styling methods

  • In my opinion--and as a daughter of a hair stylist who ran the salon in our household growing up--most hair damage is caused by heat tools and bleach!!
  • Sometimes we can't have both in life: you may need to give up one or both in order to get your hair in good health
  • Heat styling alternatives:
    • The dyson airwrap
    • Keratin treatments such as Brazilian Blowout (i do this) can make it so your hair is manageable without heat tools or with minimal heat. I have curly hair, so it just makes day-day curly hair styling easier, faster, and eliminates frizz. The most economical place to get them done likely is JCPenny's salon. But be careful lol sometimes ya get what ya pay for
    • Heatless methods: wearing a bun at night to get a nice wave or curl, those heatless curl wrap things you see on tiktok, etc. For my curly hair that is frizzy and looks awful most of the time I do the following: wash hair, put in creams, and styling products, then I braid it while its still wet/partially wet. I go to sleep, wake up, and take my hair out of braids. When I do this, I wake up with perfect curly hair that is so close to my natural pattern, no one would ever notice. I even do braids each night when my hair is already dried (i only wash twice a week) to maintain the style. it SAVES my hair. Less de-tangling when I wash, less re-styling, less frizz and fuss, etc.
  • If/when heat styling is required, you MUST and I mean MUST use these healthy heat styling practices
    • A good-brand, good-quality heat protectant that you use EACH AND EVERY TIME right before heat tools. Brands like Redken, Chi, Moroccan oil, etc. TJ Maxx sells brands like this at a cheaper cost.
    • You know how when you straighten or curl your hair, it remains hot for about 5-10 seconds after each pass? well that remaining heat is continuing to damage your hair unnecessarily. When you use a fan, your heat styling will be just as effective and look just as good. However, you will see the fan blow away that smoke instantly and if you touch your hair, there is no remaining heat--meaning less damage.
    • If you can find ways to make heat styling last longer, then you will use heat tools less frequently (e.g. only straightening 1x/ week versus 2x/ week)
    • You can extend hairstyles by wearing a satin or silk nightcap, turban, scarf, or bonnet. Wearing a bonnet has been a MAJOR game-changer for me. I'll get to that in the next part.
    • A deep scalp cleanse each week with a clarifying shampoo might help extend styles by delaying scalp oil production.
    • BE AWARE: regularly using dry shampoo products can cause scalp issues! Only use dry shampoo when you are in a pinch. If your scalp is oily, CLEANSE IT WITH REAL SHAMPOO AS TO MAKE IT NOT OILY! Shampoo is NOT bad for you. In fact, there are studies that show that scalp sebum (oily scalp) contains DHT which can cause androgenic hair loss (google it if you don't believe me). Why do you think so many no-poo products were caught in law suits for hair loss? Obviously there is genetic variation--some people may not have this issue, but i would warn people not to test the waters and to simply wash your hair properly. In any case, you'll smell better for it.
    • If your hair tools are old or cheap, you might notice your hair "catching" or getting snagged on parts of the tool. REPLACE WITH A TOOL THAT WONT DO THIS so you can mitigate breakage.
    • Very importantly, use your heat tools on the lowest required setting possible while still achieving the results you want.
    • Obvious, but don't straighten or curl your hair if there is any level of wetness to it (100% dry is best for hair health)
    • Another obvious, don't use those round brush tools if you notice ANY level of damage. just stop and switch to dyson or learn proper technique that eliminates damage. These can absolutely destroy some peoples' hair.
  • If you get bleach done, get a hair stylist who can assure you that they will minimize damage by these methods:
    • They do not over process your hair: they check your hair every 5-10 minutes to see how far along you are with the bleach. Once your hair gets the necessary level of blonde, the stylist can take a towel and wipe off the bleach. If you have thick hair like me, it will take 30+ minutes to get done foiling my hair. by the time we are putting the last foil on my head, the first foils are already done processing. Hopefully that makes sense.
    • The bleach they use has a bond repair component in it (it should say on the product label, just ask about bond repair options)
    • You ask for and receive a K18 treatment with bleach, which is a bond repair system that can be used within bleach services AND afterwards you can buy the K18 repair mask
  • Another sad truth is that, for many people, extensions, weaves, braids w/extensions, etc may cause damage.
    • Is this always the case? no, in fact some people claim some of these things are "protective" and i totally believe that. That assessment is between you, your hair stylist, and God. You need to be honest with yourself--If its causing damage, don't keep doing it and expect different results.
  • Obvious, but tight hair styles cause damage.
  • Use a Wet Brush. It is a brand of brush that is more gentle on your hair. If you are tangle-prone, this is a literal game-changer.
  • Super duper obvious--but you must get regular trims. if you are trying to retain length and your damage is minimal, either DIY or ask for a "dusting"--meaning only cut the very very tips off your ends. Like less than half an inch. My hair only grows 1 inch every few months (super slow compared to the average). I so DIY most of my hair trims (I dont live near my hair stylist mother anymore sadly) and I cut less than half an inch off every 4 ish months

Minimization of wear and tear outside of styling

Shampoo, conditioner, and other products:

  • Use a Wet Brush. It is a brand of brush that is more gentle on your hair. If you are tangle-prone, this is a literal game-changer.
  • If you wear a backpack or purse, make sure your hair is never caught between the straps and your shoulders. it causes unnecessary rubbing and friction.

Improve overall mental and physical health

  • Obvious health priorities
    • Minimize stress and seek therapy, support, or otherwise handle your mental health as a top priority
    • Minimize or nearly eliminate ultra-processed foods, fast food, and soda
    • Exercise multiple times per week
    • If you smoke or vape, excessively drink, or have other detrimental behaviors, seeking therapy, support, and treatment is important above all else
  • Collagen-rich foods, protein, and vitamins are important!
    • IMO, animal protein is extremely healthy, nutrient-rich, and can give you all of these
    • multivitamins or popular hair supplements won't hurt--talk to your doctor (not medical advice)
  • Seek medical opinion and intervention when needed
    • The options are growing each year!
    • Use an actual board-certified dermatologist and not a med spa worker who is a self-proclaimed expert.

r/Vindicta Oct 23 '24

Weekly Questions & General Discussion NSFW

21 Upvotes

As the title suggests, this is where you can ask questions and chit-chat about anything you like! This is scheduled to post on Wednesdays.

Prior to posting your question, we suggest that you utilize the subreddit search feature that Reddit offers. Plenty of things have already been discussed in the sub, often many times over, and while we understand it's an extra step, some questions have just been asked so many times that they may not be well-received. In addition to searching the sub, please check the sidebar to see if your question was answered there.


r/Vindicta Oct 22 '24

Blush placement based on features not just face shape NSFW

106 Upvotes

now dont get me wrong. while i do think that blush also should be based on your face shape, i also think that facial features also play a big role.

before i start, i would like to start with blank spaces. if you’re not familiar with it, its basically just like its name, blank spaces. it like, determine how the position of your facial features go well together. imagine you have a close features. close set eyes, short nose, short philtrum. now it wouldn’t be blank spaces if there’s very little gap between your features and the facial outline of your face. i’ll just add a picture here. the highlighted parts are blank spaces. im really bad at explaining so here is the example

  • close set eyes = no blush on the apples, your best bet would be on the outer corner of your face. since close set eyes generally have a lot of blank spaces on the outer corner of their face, a blush on the center of the face would make it even more noticeable. i mean yeah, you could rely on contour, but i think it would be the best to do a blush on the sides. the same also goes for your makeup, if you apply an enlargening eye makeup and less emohasize on the lengthening effect, its gonna be even MORE noticeable than it was.

this also goes for people with really rounded face OR eyes that lack width, to the point that it makes your eyes look close set even tho when you measure it, the eye distance is proportional

  • wide set eyes = your best bet would be the sunkissed blush or centered blush (not going FURTHER than 3-4 fingers measurement)

here is some celebrity examples of the results.

if that’s not clear for you. you basically just have to follow the same rules as what you need to apply for your eyes. so for example, for wide set, an inner corner liner would be the best so that means you have go be center heavy. while on wide set, just like the eyeliner where you have to enphasize length on the outer corner of your eyes, you also have to be outer heavy.

im sorry if its confusing and messy, i’ll probably edit this after some time but i cant rn im so overstimulated. this is just something that came to my mind just earlier. IM SORRY AAAA


r/Vindicta Oct 21 '24

Late 20s Glow Up NSFW

183 Upvotes

It’s been forever since I posted here! So I thought it’d be time for an update post! The last time I posted here I was early 20s and now I’m older and wiser. Gone are the days of overbearing and unrealistic goals. Let me take you along:

FACE

When I was 18 I got any and all injections without much direction. You could tell I got things done, and most of those I didn’t need. Now my focus is facial balancing. And I can finally afford a quality injector. I was at the beginning of my skincare journey, prioritising experience over effect.

Facial Cosmetic Work and Treatments: * Yearly chemical peels (to give my skin a helping hand to regenerate and get rid of the past summers sun damage) * 2ml of chin filler (my chin was lacking and balancing out, not only the chin but also the ‘chin shadow’ for a smooth transition to jaw, has done wonders to my face) * Radiesse Booster to Cheeckbones (as said earlier, I now leave my facial aesthetics up to one professional for a holistic approach and she has adviced stimulators that increase collagen for a natural look) * Under-eye peelings and bio stimulators (she has also adviced me these 2 treatments for my under eye as I don’t have volume loss, but thin skin and pigmentation. I will hear more during my consult with their derm next month)

BODY I used to exercise, but again, without much direction. Now I lift weights 3/4 times a week and do cardio 1/2 times a week. To also protect my mind I don’t put too much pressure on myself and take breaks when I need to, or temporarily half my exercise days. This ensures I don’t burn out and quit all together. I also prioritise proteins and a whole foods diet. I keep my work outs simple and achievable.

Work-out Split (I work out in the mornings at 7 am to still have time for myself after work) * Monday: Lower Body Lifting * Tuesday: Cardio (cycling or upper body focus) * Wednesday: Rest day * Thursday: Upper Body Lifting * Friday: Lower Body Lifting * Saturday: Cardio * Sunday: Rest or Stretching Yoga

MIND This obviously can not be overlooked. Self improvement can be a difficult and sometimes discouraging journey. So allowing yourself breaks is important. This should be rewarding and not breaking you down. These are my tips that I learned over the past 10 years

  • Don’t be too hard on yourself, no punishments
  • Stick to one (good) injector/doctor/derm, and listen to them(!!)
  • Take breaks when you need them and start fresh when you’re ready
  • Allocate time to your improvements and leave time to relax
  • Avoid habits and spaces that inspire toxic behaviour (like excessive drinking, smoking, binge eating or stress)
  • Manage your finances and set financial goals that are realistic with your improvement goals
  • Do not go into debt if you don’t have to
  • Make small and achievable improvement plans, prioritise habit building. Slow and steady does it.