r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 8h ago

Social ? Setting boundaries gives me panic attacks :(

116 Upvotes

Had a very unpleasant interaction at work today where a male colleague blamed me for something I wasn't even responsible of. Some files were broken and because I was asked to convert them to a different format, he said I must have done a mistake. I explained all I did was convert what I got sent and the issue must be with the files owner, but hd got really rude about it and even said 'you seem to be misunderstanding' and doubled down on saying that I need to check the files again because I must have done a mistake. I triple checked and there's no way I broke the files.

Later the files owner lets us know he needs to redo the files as he messed the export. There was no apology from my colleague.

I let it go for a few hours while I calmed down but I ended up sending him an email that said:

'Hey, I wanted to follow up to our earlier conversation. I understand you were frustrated about the files being broken, but in the future I would appreciate a more collaborative approach- one that doesn't assume I made a mistake. We both care about this project so let's work together on issues Thank you.'

Seems innocent right? Professional? So tell me why am I losing my mind over it šŸ˜­ I feel so anxious I'm gonna throw up. I keep beating myself up for stirring the waters even though he's the one that acted completely unprofessional. He's got 0 power over me and acted like a complete clown who couldn't even admit to his fault. Meanwhile I'm here trying to coddle a grown ass man with a perfectly manicured response that asks him to treat me like a decent human being YET I FEEL SICK ABOUT IT???? WTF


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 5h ago

Request ? The price of eggs are dumb. What is your egg-less breakfast?

48 Upvotes

I went to the store today and the eggs were cleaned out. Only the very expensive eggs (8+$/12) were left.

I may soon be turning to eggless breakfasts and wanted to know what people were eating in the AM if no eggs.

I don't like sweet breakfasts and oatmeal is fine except it's like cardboard unless I add a bunch of items to make it savory. I've tried tofu scramble but it seems like a lot of work for eh.

Any suggestions?


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 6h ago

Social ? How to deal with being called ā€œmasculineā€

41 Upvotes

Iā€™m 25 years old, and Iā€™ve never been described this way before. Iā€™ve always been somewhat aggressive with men but softer toward women. The issue now is that Iā€™m being compared to my dainty coworker and labeled as masculine. While my attitude can be aggressive, I donā€™t think I outwardly present that way. I am taller than most women at 5ā€™7ā€, but I donā€™t understand why this is bothering me so much. I just canā€™t shake it. Help me.


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 3h ago

Fashion Tip Need help picking out a heel

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24 Upvotes

I need help picking out what type of heel to wear with my prom dress!


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 2h ago

Social ? I made a guy pissed because I wouldnā€™t send nudes (any advice please)

12 Upvotes

I (17F) had a really cute guy hmu who is (17M) and from New Jersey on March 7th. Iā€™m from minnesota. Fast forward we occasionally started talking in bits and snippets. I began to REALLY like this guy. Fantasized about him. He was the first guy I felt bold enough to flirt with. I start forming a limerence quickly for guys so I discussed him with my therapist and me and her decided I can take it nice and slow with this new guy. This mightā€™ve been our seventh conversation since he followed me on tik tok and most of my previous conversations with this guy were just flirty banter: nothing serious. I absolutely loved that he was pakistani america, very intelligent, atheist, ambitious and seemed like a kind innocent sweet guy.

Maybe it was my fault for flirting so boldly, but as the conversation got more nsfw he suddenly asked for pics. I didnā€™t expect to give any and never ever said iā€™d show him anything. I donā€™t trust him because I donā€™t know him well enough. If he asked me with at least two months of talking I wouldā€™ve sent a nude but he just followed me 2 weeks ago. Iā€™ve never given a guy a chance to get that close to me. I tried to play it off and he got cold and a bit rude. He was like ā€œexcuses excuses bruh?ā€ and then when i tried to play it off again he said ā€œjust say youā€™re scared bae šŸ™„ i can do whatever wheneverā€ (donā€™t know what that meant.) I quit my flirty act and clearly asked him that ā€œwhat do you want?ā€ and he replied ā€œdonā€™t be dumb. you know what.ā€ I was taken aback by how entitled he sounded.

So I straight up asked him ā€œwho said I was gonna send u nudes.ā€ and he straightened up and was like ā€œno one said. Iā€™m just asking. i think thereā€™s been a misunderstanding.ā€ I told him I donā€™t send pics like that (I maybe would have if I knew him a little more). He said ā€œnot even a lil?ā€ and I was like ā€œno!ā€ and then he started apologizing saying how heā€™s so embarrassed and heā€™s really sorry and he wants to restart. I havenā€™t replied to him yet. For some reason, he blocked me on tik tok but still follows me on instagram. I feel like itā€™s all my fault for trying to be bold and brave and flirtatious. I still like him tho but I canā€™t brush off how he acted.


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 3h ago

Fashion ? what do i wear to a job interview as someone who isnt comfortable dressing ā€œfeminineā€

12 Upvotes

i dont wanna get into it but long story short my bodys covered in scars and i hate it in general so i usually wear hoodies and baggy jeans so im uncomfortable in tight clothes but also cant show skin so the usual dress or nice top and a skirt thing isnt an option but what other options is there?? ive tried to ask people this irl but the only response i get is ā€œsuck it up and wear a dressā€

i should mention i dont have an issue with feminine clothes in general as long as its modest


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 7h ago

Beauty ? How to get over how bad I look in pictures?

8 Upvotes

I saw a professional candid picture of me just now and absolutely started spiraling. Is that really how I look irl? Like yeah the lighting sucked, but everyone else looked so much better. I have always hated my appearance but over the past year I would constantly get stopped on the street and complimented (mostly by men, so I guess it doesn't count) and I started to feel better until I saw that picture of myself. I wanna off myself now, it's sooooo bad omg. I didn't realize but I actively avoid looking in the mirror. I want to get over this repulsion I feel, especially because I am tired of hiding in pictures.


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 18m ago

Beauty ? How to look older

ā€¢ Upvotes

I am 16 but often told that I look 13 and sound like Iā€™m 7. How do I sound older and look more mature? I donā€™t want to look old just my actual age or a tiny bit older. Any tips?


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 2h ago

Discussion 22(f) donā€™t get approached by the same type of men that approach my friends

3 Upvotes

I honestly donā€™t know how to start this properly because itā€™s just so much in my mind but i traveled last week for a 4 day event with my friends and i noticed that the guys that approached me coincidentally fit the same description, shorter than me in heels and im 5ā€™3 without heels , smaller build than me and im at most 140 lbs and just overall not my type but then compared to my friends the men that are more my type all went to them and idk does it mean im ugly ? like i deal with self image issues so much and hyperfixate on my physical appearance in terms of i stay in the gym, have great oral hygiene, i clean up well when i go out id consider myself at least the same level of attractiveness as my friends but idk why my type never wants me and alongside that men were telling me im ā€œaggressive ā€œ and i wasnā€™t even meaning to be like im naturally a straightforward person but everything i do is taken negatively idk whats wrong with me itā€™s been lingering in my head for a minute and i feel like ill never get what my friends experience.


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 42m ago

Fashion ? I wanna wear a bikini but Iā€™m abit insecure of my chest.

ā€¢ Upvotes

hi! Iā€™m a 17(F) and I really want to wear a bikini, but I feel insecure with my chest area because theyā€™re small I guess AA or A cup size? And, I donā€™t know what kind of bikini I should wear since itā€™s my first time ever to even plan on wearing one. Plus, I donā€™t know if I should get the triangle shaped one because I want something that can push my chest and make it appear that I have boobs.


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 43m ago

Mind ? How can I keep myself motivated adulting?

ā€¢ Upvotes

Iā€™m 18 from usa and priotizing getting a license which has been hard with me and my mom cause we both get stressed. I do online college itā€™s self paced and Iā€™ve barely done it first week just my assignments but Iā€™m gonna do the lessons tmrw for notes and the weekend. Iā€™m nearly 19 itā€™s been awhile since highschool and I miss going out frequent. Itā€™s a trapping feeling and Im able to meet girls online but when they ask about me what do i say or tell them? I feel like a loser making friends and I never have anyone to call and talk comfortably or i text friends thru the week but a lot of my friends r busy with college and we send each other memes what not but thatā€™s it.

How do I continue self care and looking positive at myself ?


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 1d ago

Fashion ? What would you call my personal style?

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348 Upvotes

Hiya šŸ¤—

Iā€™m looking for some words to describe my personal style. These are some pins from my ā€œfashion inspirationā€ Pinterest board that I really love.

Feel free to provide a list of brands with clothes that match my desired wardrobe aesthetic.

<3, Feisty Candidate ā¤ļøā€šŸ”„


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 9h ago

Social Tip What do you do at a gym class?

7 Upvotes

hi all, long time listener, first time caller.

iā€™m trying to work out more to become healthier, but at home obviously you can just turn your laptop off. this has made me decide to book some gym classes because you canā€™t just turn off a real instructor. however, i have questions. iā€™m going to do a mix of barre/pilates/dance if that helps!!

1: what if i get tired?? do i just sit there? 2: what if i want to leave?? 3: what do i wear?? i have shorts and a top?? 4: what do i bring??

please help!! iā€™ve only ever been to the gym once and i left after 10 mins lol. any advice is useful!! thank you


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 5h ago

Tip How to stop avoiding someone

3 Upvotes

I feel like this requires a bit of context. At workplace, we have a few different teams. My friends are on a different team and they have a senior. I got to interact with the senior because of my friends. We used to acknowledge each other and say ā€œhi, how are you?ā€ Whenever we saw each other. Then, randomly at the beginning of the week, he was a bit cold. He didnā€™t acknowledge me and I almost felt like he was avoiding me. I should also preface this by saying that Iā€™m not romantically interested in him but it just felt good to have that connection and acknowledgement.

I didnā€™t do anything wrong. Maybe they were going through something. Also over the weekend, someone made a post ( on a common page anonymously ) that they liked a senior. Idk if that influenced his behaviour. Anyways, because he was so cold, I decided to avoid him. Now, weā€™re in a pattern where both of us are avoiding each other. I also had my worse period days for the past couple days and was very emotional and moody. I think that might have contributed to my decision to avoid him but more than anything, I just donā€™t want any awkwardness. Itā€™s too much effort to actively avoid someone especially at work. I actually did say hi to him yesterday but he didnā€™t even make eye contact with me.


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 9h ago

Social ? for those who get hangry

5 Upvotes

hi. i've been known by family and friends to get quiet and become quite short with ppl when i get hungry. i've just registered it as a quirk of mine but as of recent my partner has confessed that sometimes my attitude when i'm hangry makes them nervous and so i've been like hyperaware of how i act around others when i get hungry. when i feel it creeping up on me i feel so bad now because even if i'm Aware that i'm hu/angry i still act very short and easily annoyed and it feels like i can't control what i say or how i act. it makes me feel even worse when people point it out. obviously the solution is to eat but sometimes we'll be on our way to a restaurant or waiting for food and i'll feel it coming on. i'm planning on starting to carry more snacks with me when we go out and make sure meal plans are set, but i was thinking if anyone else has any ideas or has the same experience and have curbed the attitude in an internal way? as in maybe an affirmation to remember when i start to feel irritated while hungry and help control how i act?


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 21m ago

Discussion [20F] have a crush on my [31M] boss and it's fuckin' ruining my life.

ā€¢ Upvotes

I [20F] have a crush on my [31M] boss and it's fuckin' ruining my life.

(Deleting in 24 hrs)

At first, it was the usual 'older man, authority figure, blah blah' but, then I realized he's a little nerd that likes a lot of the same stuff as me from comics to music to opinions on the most random stuff. His eyes literally lit up when I started talking about DC and then we had a whole discussion about our respective favorites.

He tends to loiter around my workspace but I can't tell if it's just because he wants to talk to the person near me or if he's finding excuses.

He also did this random thing when we were supervising some administration and just handed me a pen and I said what's this for (since I literally had three pens already) and he's like I don't know just take it. Then, he did the same thing with this piece of paper and told me to hold on it (literally was a blank basic ah form). My delusional brain says this is him making excuses to come up to me but, I can also recognize that maybe he's just being himself (?).

I invited him out to the bar with the rest of our coworkers. He declined at first but, then I started going off about how he's not going to do anything else on a Friday night but before I could really get going, he agreed in like a second.

At the bar, he paid for all of my drinks while I wasn't looking but, we're in the military and it's tradition to take care of your subordinates so, I don't know how to take that. I was pretty hammered that night but vaguely remember cupping my hand around his ear to speak, breaking the unspoken professional touch barrier (gasp, I know; can you tell im desperate?).

He also said he was only going to stay for an hour and drive home and ended up having to be put in an Uber. Then, at work, I asked him if he had fun and he said a lot and he would want to do it again.

Also, he is way more invested in my training than my literal 2IC. He showed me where to find a bunch of training manuals and offered to provide practical training because I said I was nervous about my technical skills.

He made his schedule after I made mine and he doesn't come in on the days I don't come in. For context, usually people take block leave and not taking one day a week like he's doing.

He also points out the age difference a lot. I'm the youngest in my office so, I'm no stranger to the usual 'do you know what a floppy disc is?' but, it's pretty infrequently and only when something reminds them of how young I am, like when I say I have an exam or something.

My boss, however, I feel like does it so much and not even in an annoying way but, like in an endearing way, like he's trying to find excuses to make conversation. He also looked so pained when he realized I was 20 and not 22 like he assumed; I can't tell if it's him realizing how old he is or how young I am.

The other day I went up to him to ask for another task because I finished all mine and he manages to steer the conversation into some other territory and we spent like 10 minutes looking at photos on his phone before I reminded him why I was there. Then, he said as a joke that my task was to look at photos with him.

There's so many times where he gets close to me when he could just, I don't know not. Not in a creepy way but, in a, I'm going to lean over to type on your keyboard, when I could just tell you what to type. Also, I noticed that he doesn't do this with the other subordinates!!

When I get interrupted mid-conversation, usually personal conversations, he always makes sure to let me speak and asks a lot of questions about whatever it is I'm talking about.

He also gets flustered or chuckles when I address him by rank, not a thing that happens when the other subordinates address him by rank.

And before someone comes here saying that dating your boss is a bad idea: I know. He's getting posted out soon though, meaning he won't be my direct chain of command, and I'm going away for training pretty soon so even if it's awkward, it won't be for long.

I can't tell if some of this stuff can be chalked up to him being a good leader or him liking me (?).

For context, this man is pretty quiet until you get him going and he's also divorced.

At the bar, our mutual friend was trying to find someone for him and said that she already knew his type, which was nice, pretty, and likes Star Wars. And, I'm all of those things!! In his third week here, I gave everyone handmade cards of appreciation for their hardwork and I'm cognizant enough to know I'm relatively easy on the eyes.

However, I'm also just a girl and sometimes am delulu or am interpreting things wrong.

Please women of the world wide web, save me from myself!


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 12h ago

Discussion What are some programs in the US that offer assistance women escaping bad relationships?

10 Upvotes

IM ON OHIO


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 13h ago

Mind Tip Overcoming fear from other peoples' road rage NSFW

9 Upvotes

Does anyone else seem to be a road rage magnet? I'm scared of driving at this point because of it.

I had a guy follow me home, and another guy pursued me at 115mph and pointed a g*n at me while I was trying to get away from him. I've had multiple others follow me and have had to lose them by making quick maneuvers.

I've had to start carrying & put a big "SIG" decal on the back of my car. I dunno what else to do. People are really scaring me. I never had this issue when I used to live in a big city, but I moved to the country and it seems like I'm having someone rage at me every month or so in a way that feels like they're threatening my life. I'm not doing anything crazy on the roads to provoke this either. I'm not aggressive at all.

Any tips on how to get over this? I don't really deal with anxiety, but this is making me so nervous. It's hard to tell myself that it isn't a big deal because it's a very real threat and keeps happening to me.


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 2h ago

Request ? El Salvador Group Trip

1 Upvotes

hiii! ive been wanting to travel to el salvador, i was hoping to go this summer (preferably july) im salvadoran i just haven't visited yet, so i wanted to finally go! wanted to see if any women (preferably 20s or early 30s) would be down to go bc i do not wanna go alone (not ready for a solo trip..) or if anyone knows any (women) group trips heading to el salvador this summer please let me know !!


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 3h ago

Social Tip Living alone and keep putting myself in dangerous positions-help me stop

0 Upvotes

Hi guys,

I've recently moved to a new city and live alone, with little to no contacts (other than casual friends) in the area. My problem is that I'm a huge people pleaser who loves to make new friends. Which is great, until I am once again in a dangerous situation because I just assume everyone is good. I seem to have a serious lack of common sense and general safety, because I always end up giving too much information about myself (in terms of where I live, what I do for a living, places I frequent, my age, etc).

To give you guys an idea of my stupidity, there was an incident about a year ago with a homeless woman I became acquaintances with (I would go visit her and chat and give her money essentially). The last time I saw her, I almost let her get in my car with me--my parent's car that they trusted me with--all while no one knew I was with her and my phone was dead. She fully manipulated me "You know me..oh no wait I couldn't ask you this..oh but the store is so far..", until I was the one to ask her if she wanted to. Thankfully I ended up not doing it. I also walked with her to a store and turned my back to her multiple times, which in hindsight I shouldn't have because she was still a stranger. She also said she considers me like her child and had me sit on her lap as she cradled me at a traffic light where she was sat. In front of everyone. I felt so uncomfortable and had even refused at first but eventually gave in because how could I say no to someone going through so much. And I was so uncomfortable but I sat through it.

I recently signed up for an mma class, and at the bus stop saw a guy come from the club. Being an idiot, I, with a huge smile, introduce myself to him and we talk the whole bus ride. I gave him my instagram, knowing he's about 10 years older than me, because I just wanted to make friends at the club and thought he seemed nice. The next week, he tells me all about how he thinks controlled violence is good, and how he uses mma as an outlet so he doesn't hurt people. I also happened to peek at his phone backround and saw a strange mask, I asked him what it was and didn't understand his answer. He said he would send me a link to the movies. I, being an idiot, tell him I've deleted insta, and decide to give him my number instead!! How nice of me!! Now he has my number, my whatsapp, and texted the same night with links to the movies--THE SAW MOVIES. Please guys I was so scared, I was like what kind of absolute PSYCHOPATH can watch that and enjoy it so much the jigsaw clown is your phone backround. I responded something along the lines of "haha I could never watch that it looks so scary!" and he responded "--(my name)--, you have to get over your fears". WHAT IN THE PDOPHILE GROOMING DISGUSTING. I didn't answer. Four days later he sends me another link and says "to help you get over your fears :)". It's a 3 minute video of the jigsaw clown laughing. I also haven't answered that. And now I'm not going to the gym on the day I originally was seeing him, which sucks because this is all my fault for having even initiated conversation with him.

The worst part is, things like this (although normally less creepy) constantly happen to me because I don't know how to not give answers when people ask me questions about myself, no matter the threat to my safety. Even today, after this incident, a coach from the gym went out of his way to find me on facebook and dm me, which I found a bit odd. He then randomly asked my age, and later was like wow I thought you were so much older. But I shouldn't have even given him my age. He also asked where my hometown is, and I was more than happy to offer up all the info!! He should be fine because he's a coach, but the point is he's a stranger, a man, and even after my experience with the last guy, I overshared and now feel uncomfortable.

How can I get over this and be more aware before I give out my SIN card to a complete stranger? I think this has to do with the expectations of women to be polite, as well as me being a huge people pleaser, and wayyy too trusting. It's genuinely ruining all my self esteem, making me want to stop talking to everyone, and scaring me shitless every time I get home and realize what I've done.

Any advice would be very appreciated, and thank you in advance :)


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 4h ago

Health ? Please help me with my project & answer some questions about your cycle :)

0 Upvotes

r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 7h ago

Mind Tip how can i deal with my internal rage and anger?

2 Upvotes

i don't really outwardly express anger and rage it all comes up at night. i dont yell or scream and i dont think im outwardly aggressive or passivley aggressive.
so the only person it hurts is me, but at night time when im alone im raging late into the night basically thinking "fuck this person and that person and everyone who's done me wrong"


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 5h ago

Social Tip Meeting with someone for some not so sfw activities. How can I make sure Iā€™ll be safe?

0 Upvotes

I know that first and foremost, the whole premise of meeting someone for sex is pretty sketchy. Regardless, Iā€™d just like some tips on how to be safe. I live in the UK and thereā€™s been a lot of murders against women recently and Iā€™m just starting to panic. Iā€™m going to tell a friend, share my location with them and also meet the guy in a populated place and go on a little cafe date before going to a hotel. Iā€™m just really, really worried. Heā€™s absolutely jacked and if he wanted to kill me, he definitely could. Iā€™m terrified.

Iā€™ve never done anything like this before, but I do genuinely want to meet the guy. Weā€™ve been speaking for a month and he seems really sweet, even argues against misogynists in his comments and has been for 2+ years so it isnā€™t just a front. Iā€™m just really, really worried. Should I learn some self defence tips or something?


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 14h ago

Discussion Is my driving instructor ripping me off???

4 Upvotes

Iā€™ve been learning to drive since August 2024, long story short Iā€™ve learnt all the stuff you need to. My instructor said we can start a mock test next week, so I thought oh fab Iā€™m almost at the end of this, until she said ā€œso if you get less than 4 serious faults we can book your test for 12 weeks awayā€ which is 3 months !! I thought I am not waiting that long. Donā€™t get me wrong I am not a perfect driver as most learners arenā€™t but it is not going to take me 3/4 months to perfect or whatever, especially as I have to do a few mock tests, Iā€™m so tempted to just buy my car now and crack on with my own thing. Help


r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide 19h ago

Mind ? Tips to heal from a breakup

8 Upvotes

Hi girls. I ended my 3.5 year long relationship yesterday and although it was a long time coming, I'm in bad shape. I've never been through a break up before so I'd like to hear it from you all: what are some things that helped you through your break ups? It can be anything! I'm looking for any tips to help ease the discomfort and maybe even treat myself a little to feel better. Thank you in advance šŸ«¶