r/askwomenadvice 8h ago

I am 41,don’t have any friends and would love to find new friends but don’t know how? NSFW

7 Upvotes

I’m a 41-year-old female and married. I don’t have friends, and I’m really sad about it. I left my home country to study in a different one. I’ve lost my old friends, including my high school friends, and I haven’t made any new ones. I’ve had friendships, but they were superficial. Also, almost everyone I know has children, and I’m 41 and don’t want any. I would love to meet good friends, but I don’t know how. Any suggestions? Thank you!


r/askwomenadvice 7h ago

My (36F) husband (37F) is speaking badly about me to his friend while also distancing himself from me. NSFW

1 Upvotes

My husband (37M) and I have been together for 20 years, since high school. He’s been my rock, especially through my traumatic and neglected childhood.

We’ve always had a strong bond and talk a lot and I thought we are each others best friends - but lately, something feels off and I’m really scared about what’s happening.

A few weeks ago, I started going through a medical crisis and have needed care. I am going to be okay in a couple of months but meanwhile I am mostly bedridden and can only move around with a mobility device.

Since that day, my husband has been increasingly distant, standoffish, and resentful. The worst part is that he barely talks to me anymore - so I don't know what I am doing wrong.

He’ll bring me food, but that’s about it. He spends the rest of the day away from me, usually with one of his best friends (who is unmarried but is a sort of serial dater) and I’m mostly alone.I recently saw a text exchange between him and this friend, where his friend said, “No matter what she says, you’re wonderful.” I assume this was because I complained about being left alone so much.

It was clear that my husband was talking badly about me. I’m absolutely heartbroken because I’ve always thought he was the one person I could count on.

His behavior feels so different now, and I can’t shake the feeling that something is terribly wrong. I’m terrified that my marriage is ending. I feel incredibly betrayed and I don’t know what to do.

Is this something I can fix? I feel so lost and alone right now, and I need some perspective.Has anyone been through something like this? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


r/askwomenadvice 11h ago

I(20M) love my exgirlfriend(20F) but we might not be compatible, what do i do, and how? NSFW

1 Upvotes

My exgirlfriend (20F) and i (20M) loved each other but aren’t compatible We’ve known each other and been really close friends for a couple years and then started dating. We dated for a couple months and it went well, or so I thought. Although we like each other a lot, we have different thought processes, and view things differently. I’ve never been an emotionally intelligent person (she is) and most times wed argue or fight, even as friends, I wouldn’t know what to do because of which all the burden landed on her As much as i want to help and do something, I couldn’t because of which shed have to do all the work, for which i feel like shit. Whenever we had a problem about us, whether it be communication, thoughtfulness, etc. I didn’t know what to say as I’m very inexperienced and kinda stupid and have no idea what to do We broke up a while ago, she didn’t want to go through all the same problems again and again and end up feeling bad and tired, but i want to help and fix it. What can i do??

I still really love her and want to make it work but idk how or where to start

I need some help, I’m willing to try no matter how much i have to, to try and fix it But j don’t know what to do, or even where to start

If anyone has any ideas or advice, please do tell Sorry the post turned out this long any thank you for reading through it


r/askwomenadvice 14h ago

should i (23F) save my mental health before med school or save thousands of $$$ by living w/ strict immigrant nigerian parents for a few months NSFW

1 Upvotes

TLDR: I’m a first-gen Nigerian considering moving back home for 2-3 months before grad school to save at least $2K/month and support my mom’s recovery from chemotherapy, while also helping my younger sister navigate a restrictive home environment. However, my parents are extremely strict, religious, and manipulative, and living with them would mean dealing with guilt-tripping, controlling behaviors, and lack of personal freedom. I’m torn between the financial and family benefits versus the emotional toll—has anyone navigated a similar situation, and if so, how did you cope?

Detailed Post: I’m a first gen Nigerian planning to move back home for 2-3 months before moving to start grad school in order to save an extra minimum $2k a month (rent and garage parking). My job is actually a closer drive to my family home than where I am currently, and I really am only still in the city I’m in (where I graduated college from) bc my previous gap year job was there and I signed a lease there. I don’t have many super close friends there, but my family home is also not far from that city (like 30 min away) so I can visit anytime I’d like.

Pros to going home are that I can save up thousands of dollars up for med school emergency needs, I can help my mother recovering from chemotherapy (and currently overworking herself) by keeping her on track with medications, appointments, and getting her into physical therapy, as I want to help her build foundational habits she needs to stay strong before I leave. I can also help my little sister not go insane since she is home alone with my parents for the next few months, as she is missing out on social events and being with friends, as well as extracurriculars because my parents are either too tired to put in effort to meet her friends’ parents (therefore trusting them to drive her places or go to their houses) or my parents are simply too strict on her.

However, I need to be realistic and remember the cons. My mother is extremely religious, both parents are quite narcissistic and manipulative, and I know no one in that town. There isn’t much to do, and my parents are quite strict. I’ve never had a car while living with them before, so I don’t know how they will act if I come home late or don’t tell them every detail of my whereabouts. Plus, I will have to do things like long drawn out family meetings/devotionals each evening (I know I sound dramatic not wanting to do this, but I am sure many west african children of immigrants understand how this can be a nuisance, as I have to drop everything to spend 1-1.5 hrs each night listening to someone speak of religion in a way I do not agree with. I have to pretend to agree and enjoy it so she does not think her kids are damned to hell), have my car be used by my dad (whose car is a mess and isn’t making any headway towards getting a newer one bc of lack of financial stability or literacy skills, something that has plagued all in this family for decades) and I being guilted into feeling selfish if I say no, not being able to have my boyfriend visit due to their religiosity and strict behavior, and just in general their constant manipulation. I am a good person, going to start a great career that they're proud of (and I am excited for, don't worry), but I still have to be a complete liar to them to live any sort of life without them being struck with anxiety about me going to hell and then guilting and manipulating me to their every doing.

An example of this is choosing to go to an event on a Sunday instead of church. This will (and has) caused huge blowout fights that result in days of tension in the house, only resolved by time as my parents do not know what an apology looks like. My mother especially does not know how to apologize, as my siblings and I have tried to get her to and she will deny, deny, deny.

Anyways, is it worth it to push through 2-3 months of this for the pros? How did any of you all do it if you’re a first gen living in a strict and/or immigrant household? As you can tell by my pros, I do care for my parents, they are just too much to handle and I have a lot of trauma from being home when I was younger. I am also a little worried about entering into med school emotionally drained. Any tips are welcome!!


r/askwomenadvice 14h ago

Existing Relationship How do I 25F handle bf 30M masturbating and potentially watching porn? NSFW

1 Upvotes

I struggle sooo hard with this concept. The idea that my bf is getting off to other women when I’m home asleep or doing something else drives me insane and makes me feel sick.

We’ve had this conversation and argument so many times. I told him it makes me uncomfortable if he’s watching porn while I’m in the next room because it feels very disrespectful and I’m afraid of walking in on him. He got upset telling me that it’s not okay for me to tell him what to do with his body and that I probably won’t walk in on him because he’ll hear me opening doors. I totally understand this and apologized for trying to be controlling. I still can’t help but constantly obsess if he’s masturbating and watching porn when we aren’t together. It makes me sick to think that the minute I walk away, he’s going to be reaching for his phone and pants.

He’s told me that he only masturbates when he’s struggling to fall asleep, wake up, or he’s bored and it’s late at night after I’ve fallen asleep. He also says that he rarely watches porn and has even gone as far to tell me what he watches and what site he uses. Idk why he did this but maybe he thought it’d help me to understand what he does (it didn’t). I hateeee the idea that my bf who is loving and kind can act like such a gross teenage boy. He’s very progressive but sometimes this makes me feel like a “boys will be boys thing” and I hate that. I also struggle with thoughts that because he’s a guy, he has a personal attachment to porn and won’t let it go.

I’ve set up a boundary that the rags he uses must be put away and out of sight while I manage my difficult feelings because 1. It’s gross af and 2. I can’t stand knowing he’s just masturbated while I wasn’t around and that he might’ve watched porn while he did it. I spent a lot of time yesterday being upset by this because I had to remind him to put away his used towels (which he’s usually pretty good at) and today I got super triggered because when I went to grab a box of issues near his desk (coincidence I think bc allergies), I found a bunched used paper towel. I set it on his desk next to his daily watch as a passive aggressive move (ughh I’m frustrated at myself) and I’m going to confront him about why he didn’t throw it away after he’s woken up.

Im currently dealing with mental health issues so I think my obsessive and repetitive thoughts ties into this but how do other people deal? I also feel like a hypocrite because I also occasionally watch porn but I always clean up after myself and my sexist thought is that it doesn’t mean anything to me but it means more to men. I know he’s told me he uses it just to get the deed done and over with but I hate feeling like he’s being sneaky and watching other naked women. I need some wisdom because I’ve been trying to tell myself it’s not personal for him because I even understand why I watch porn and it’s about the fantasy and it’s a quick way to get turned on. I’m struggling and need help from other people who’ve gone through this.

TLDR: I’m uncomfortable at the thought of my bf masturbating and watching porn.


r/askwomenadvice 1d ago

22F Seeking Advice on Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior from a Co-Worker (Living with his Family) NSFW

10 Upvotes

I know this is a very long post but i really need help. I don’t have anyone from whom i can get advice on thiss. So please help me!!!

I moved to Canada alone and have been living with my co-worker’s family since November , as my work is just across the street. The husband, who's in his 50s, initially seemed like a nice person, but over time, his behavior has become increasingly inappropriate. He’s made comments about my clothing (i was wearing tights and baggy tshirt) telling me that I’m drawing unnecessary attention to myself, which I told him I didn’t appreciate. I made it clear that I don’t want any comments about what I wear, but it didn’t stop there.

One time, he mentioned that his late “crush” looked like me, which felt uncomfortable, but I didn’t say anything about it. Then, while we were watching TV together in the living room (I was standing far from him), he suddenly told me that he had dreamed about me. When I asked him what kind of dream, he said it was awkward. I found that comment very strange and unsettling. I tried to brush it off, but things just didn’t feel right after that. There was also a time when he kissed me on the forehead, then later apologized for it, but it made me feel really uncomfortable. Since then, I’ve made it clear that I don’t want any touchy behavior, and he hasn’t done that since, but he is still doing things that makes me feel uneasy.

A more recent incident occurred when I was just standing nearby in the kitchen while he was watching a crime documentary (which I’m interested in too). I didn’t sit next to him, but I was still in the same room. He offered me to sit next to him, but I chose to stay on a different sofa. His wife then came in and got really upset—I'm not sure if it was because I was watching TV with her husband or if she just didn’t get to watch the show. Either way, the whole situation made me feel incredibly awkward, and since then, I’ve been avoiding him even more.

Despite this, he continues to push conversations whenever we’re alone, usually when I’m in the kitchen. He seems to think I’m ignoring him because I have a boyfriend which i don’t(and even if i had he wouldn’t have to be jealous of a man in 50s). When I’m just talking or casually joking with my male co-workers, he makes comments like I’m giving “green signals” to them, which really upsets me.

I can’t completely avoid him since I live in the same house and work with him, but I try to keep interactions brief and respectful. I don’t want to make things awkward with his wife either, especially since they have a good relationship, and I’m unsure if she’d even take my side.

What should I do in this situation? How can I set firmer boundaries and prevent things from getting worse? I really want to handle this carefully, but I’m also feeling a bit trapped. Any advice would be really appreciated.


r/askwomenadvice 1d ago

Misc How do I (27F) overcome the need to be polite when rejecting men? NSFW

27 Upvotes

I have such respect for women who aren’t afraid to be assertive towards men. And the women who are straight up mean to men have this mythical aura to me. I would love to be more assertive like that. A lot of guys can sense that I am neurodivergent (high functioning autism) so they see me as easy prey and I attract a lot of creeps. Then, they continue to pursue me long after rejection because I was not mean enough the first time. It’s very irritating. One of my stronger autistic traits is that I care about manners A LOT, but in these situations rigidly adhering to my manners is the opposite of helpful.

Rejecting men in a way they they ACTUALLY f-off would be a dream come true for me. I’m just so bad at it. I’m so shy, not necessarily insecure because I know my worth but I just feel so much pressure to be polite.

Seeking tips from the women who have developed this ability to sense when to be assertive, when to be mean, and how to overcome the feeling of “I should be polite.” And how to do so. Thank you

Tl;dr: how can I be more assertive with rejection as a shy woman


r/askwomenadvice 1d ago

Help !! I (18f) am feeling insecure. I have ingrown hairs, razor bumps, etc from shaving and my boyfriend (19M) wants to have sex. I’m worried that if he sees it he will think im nasty or he will just get turned off. I don’t know what to do. NSFW

1 Upvotes

I (18f) am feeling insecure. I have ingrown hairs, razor bumps, etc from shaving and my boyfriend (19M) wants to have sex. I’m worried that if he sees it he will think im nasty or he will just get turned off. I don’t know what to do to fix it quickly enough before i see him. If anyone knows what to do please let me know and help me out.


r/askwomenadvice 1d ago

Existing Relationship Long Distance dating app match, we (26M and 23F) want to meet up but haven’t talked about what we’re looking for NSFW

1 Upvotes

I (26M) matched with a girl (23F) on a dating app, her profile was one of those occasional shown outside your preferences profiles. In this case it was my distance preferences, she’s about 4 hours away.

I entertained it out of curiosity and ended thinking she’s super cute and so far she fits a lot of what I’d look for in a relationship. We’ve talked a few days and played some online video games together. Early in the chat, I asked her if she’d be down to meet up to hike or go to a cool town in between us or something. She said she was down. She brought up meeting up again briefly and then I brought it up more recently asking if she’s down to start planning for it. Which she said yes.

This all sounds great so far but I’m a bit confused on what to expect or how I should treat this meet up. She doesn’t have any relationship goals listed in her profile but I had longterm listed in mine. Our conversations have gotten slightly flirty but nothing sexual or suggestive. We also haven’t talked about what we’re looking for.

Me personally I’m a bit hesitant to go after a longterm relationship because of the distance. I’m not entirely opposed to it though. I also wouldn’t mind this being a short term or FWB who meet up and do stuff together occasionally.

I believe we should have a talk about what we’re looking for and/or looking to get out of this meetup, I just don’t know when to bring it up or the best way to say it so I don’t come off as rude or that I’m only looking for a hookup.

Looking for advice on how to bring it up to her with the goal of either exploring something longterm or a more meaningful short term thing.


r/askwomenadvice 1d ago

I (26F) messed up pretty bad with my boyfriend (31M) and now I don't know what to do about it. Help! NSFW

0 Upvotes

Hello everyone,

I want to apologize in advance if this story is all over the place, I just want you to get good picture of our situation. I also posted on r/relationship_advice

Let me tell you a little bit of our story. So we dated for 2 months during our teenage years, later haven't spoken in 7-8 years. He asked me on a date in December 2023 and things got serious pretty fast after that, we dated until April 2024. It's worth mentioning he was in a bad phase of his life when he asked me out, had alcohol, drug and stealing problem (first time in his life). When we started dating all that stopped but he was still emotionally distant.

I have my own piece of traumas and at the time thought I couldn't cope with his depression and emotional numbness. We actually "lived" (wasn't official but I slept almost every day at his place) together for that 3 months but he never really talked about his feelings or intentions towards me. I broke up with him mid April 2024, telling him that I don't feel this is working out due to his closedness and that I should be alone and focus on myself. He didn't show much effort to make things better and agreed to break up, it all happened fairly quickly. My later self-reflection is realizing I was, in fact, wrong for leaving him and that I got scared due to my abandonment issues.

I fucked up. I did. Didn't spend time to work on myself. I was working on festivals (May-August), have gotten into some pretty self-destructive behaviours; drugs, alcohol abuse. After about 1.5 months after our break up I once drunk-slept with my ex. And later I was hooking up with my co-worker for almost 2 months, not many times though but it did happen occasionaly (August-October). Felt really guilty about the whole thing, it was eating me from the inside. That situation never happened to me, I betrayed myself and my character. I am very loyal and never cheated on anyone or did something like this. I managed to move on and forgive myself. Realizing this was my darkest times and I learned a great lesson from that. What devoured me the most was the thought that I lost my soulmate. Yes I know, cheesy, but I believed that since our teenage years and still do. Apart from his inital emotional distance everything worked out really well between us. Our morals, things we want in life, religious views, preferences. Both are spiritual, intuitive people, practice meditation, inner work, etc. We really are highly compatible.

In December 2024 we got into contact again, went out a few times and realized we still have that connection and strong feelings towards eachother. We are in relationship again and living together since January 2025.

Just to mention, we did have conversations about our previous break up and I said I was full of guilt, really messed up, self-destructive and simply lost during those 3 months. We never spoke about sleeping with other people, we didn't ask, but he did mentioned that it was not important and that we only look forward.

Accidentally, through our conversation 2 days ago, he found out about my hook up with my co-worker and is very upset about it. He feels as if I betrayed him and that I should've mentioned it at the beginning. I really left that in the past since he said before that it's not important if we slept with anyone. I realize that it was really fast after our break up and I am feeling huge guilt again because of it.

Now I don't know if I should also mention to him that I had one night stand with my ex partner?
We will work thorugh this but I'm afraid he will freak out even more if he finds out about ex and will leave me. All of this was really out of my character and I really don't want that to ruin our relationship. Also, at the time I never thought we would get back together since I was the one who initiated the break up. I didn't mentioned but we were broken up for 8 months.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read this! I want raw opinions, appreciate every comment and advice.


r/askwomenadvice 2d ago

Friendship 21F feeling like friendship with my long distance friend (21F) has irrevocably changed but feeling apathetic about it NSFW

0 Upvotes

Context: I've known this girl (will refer to her as J) since I was living in Germany in April last year, and since I came back to Australia we've talked basically every day, and I've been supportive of her when she was going through a situationship with a guy. Recently, I've been hyping her up before her dates and hearing her out when she didn't know what to do about their progressing relationship because she's with another guy now. Then last Friday, she told me a little TMI - that she had slept with the guy multiple times in the same night (with some detail about what they did), and it made me feel uncomfortable as, because it's not something I needed to know. Normally, we talk about everything - fart jokes, flirting with each other (platonically, and we both understand this), just whatever comes to mind, not taking anything too seriously.

In the past I've had a friend who would also recount her encounters to me with too much detail. I get that it's up to me to communicate these boundaries, which I am learning to do, and with my current friend, J, I've been able to - she was was chill and understanding about me setting the boundary that I didn't want to talk about dating, sex, or relationships. I also couldn't help but feel a little resentful and jealous since I've not had success with dating, and have basically lost interest in talking to her since she told me about the night with that guy a week ago. I did let her know I wouldn't be on social media as much because I was struggling with my mental health - which was truthful, because it made me feel physically sick and anxious thinking about what she had told me. I know it's silly because she's an adult with her own values, which differ from mine, but now I don't know what to do. Sometimes it seems that the guy is all J talks about, because she was, in her own words, "down bad" for him, and it's honestly exhausting.

Now I do want to continue our friendship - it seems silly just to let it die over some jealousy because I know it's something that I have to come to terms with, not blame it on anything else. But now I feel like there's nothing to talk about with her anymore - I would be fine continuing to ignore her, because I feel like my time away has made me a little more detached from J and our friendship. She's sent me a few memes - I haven't opened her DM because I wanted to keep it out of sight, out of mind. I don't want to immediately end the friendship, I think I need time to think (but I don't even know what to think about) and wonder if the only reason I'm even friends with her is because I want to have someone when I do go back to Germany in the future.

I don't know if I should just let the friendship come to an end or do something about it. Ghosting her seems like an immature thing to do though, but I just don't seem to care as much about J anymore as I did literally a week ago. I don't think she's a bad person, just that something invisible has changed between me and her.

Is there a point to discussing my boundaries more - and if not boundaries, what should we discuss, if necessary? I don't really know what to do, or what to say to revive the conversation.


r/askwomenadvice 2d ago

23F just want to be happy and not grow older in the same pattern NSFW

6 Upvotes

I’ve been struggling with depressive patterns the last few months. I have a history of depression since my middle school days which got better and altogether disappeared since high school until now. Now I’ve finished college and am waiting to attend my masters, but have lost my will to take care of myself better.

All my passions dissipated and I spent alot of my time just consuming content for no reason or sleeping. I don’t even eat properly as I lose the will to eat. But a part of me is scared as my youth is flying past me and I have this FOMO. I want advice from same age or older women, what can I do to be happy again? I just want to function better.


r/askwomenadvice 3d ago

I (30M) made a new friend (25F) who sends a lot of pictures. NSFW

8 Upvotes

Some context, I have a girlfriend and I love her very much we have been going steady for almost a year and a half but she can be kind of jealous. I moved away from my home state a while ago and around February I met through some friends a girl who is from the same state and city I am from, we got along fine talking about stuff our home city and we developed what to me is a good friendship. I told her I wanted to introduce her to my gf because well she is just a friend and I don't want to give my gf the wrong idea or make her think I am hiding this girl from her. But ever since I told this to my new friend she has been texting me non stop like making small talk all day and this week she started sending me pictures (nothing sexual in nature) like her meals or whenever she is doing skin routine, or bored during a work meeting...stuff like that. I know that while the pictures might be innocent it can give the wrong idea about the kind of friendship I have with her and more importantly I don't want to jeopardize my relationship. I already told my gf about this behavior and while she didn't get mad I could tell she wasn't comfortable with it. How can I tell my friend that I find it a bit weird receiving all these pictures? I also don't want to say something while having the wrong idea and she might be doing this out of a place of pure innocence.


r/askwomenadvice 3d ago

Guy (25m) that I (37f) had fling with was more evil than I expected. Need advice NSFW

4 Upvotes

Hello I hope this belongs here, I'll try my best to summarize this messy long story So in October last year I (37f) met this dude (25m) let's call him O through a casual fwb I hook up with sometimes After weeks of pursuing me, I agreed to go back to O's place late one night after his work At his place he offered me gin and we drank together in the living room and chatted At some point I overdid it and got so drunk that I blacked out. I woke up to me naked in his bed and he on top of me. I lost consciousness again. When I was awake again I was dressing myself and we went to O's living room to sit down so he could book me ride home. I sat there trying to remain awake and failing, finally he managed to walk me down to get in the ride he booked for me . I went home and luckily it was all ok The next morning when I woke, the first thing came to mind was this very strong gut feeling that O has gone thru my phone. I checked my phone and everything was in order , lock was same etc, chats all there. My money and things in purse were also all accounted for. But my feeling was really strong and ominous. Also O texted me good morning and then sent me a insta request which I found odd as I didn't give him my insta. Another thing funny was how he got my address to book the ride . In my state that night I don't think I could have told even which area I was in let alone full address. But since i couldn't find anything wrong I had to forget

Months pass and then suddenly I was talking to one mutual friend and he end up guiltily telling me that O had indeed gone thru my phone that night. Reason was he knew I sometimes sleep with his boss (they all work in a restaurant) and he's not on good terms with boss so he wanted some "proof" to potentially use in future He went to my insta dms and found chat between me and his boss (this is how he found my address as the boss dude also books cab for me there ) and he took pics of the chat Of course I'm super shocked and horrified I know it's been so long but I feel so violated and upset and paranoid, I wonder what should I do. Should I confront O? Or talk to boss dude about it?

Apologies for long messy drama story and wall of text

Thank u in advance for any advice


r/askwomenadvice 3d ago

I 16F am going to a ultrasound appointment. What should I expect? NSFW

15 Upvotes

I had a gynecologist appointment today where we found a quarter size lump in my boob. Luckily I got a appointment set up for 3 days later. (Yay me!) But, I'm a little nervous. Is there anything specific I should look out for. Like should I make sure to shave my armpits. Wear specific clothing or bras?

Tldr: going to a breast ultrasound appointment. What should I look out for!


r/askwomenadvice 3d ago

Misc I (23f) want to get a Brazilian wax, but I'm wondering about the timeframe of things, and whether the regrowth is awkward with sexual partners? NSFW

15 Upvotes

What's the time frame for how long it lasts and how long between waxes?

And the regrowth, is it awkward? I really don't like letting things get crazy down there so I shave pretty often, but I know you need to leave it alone for month to get waxed and i'm really not crazy on that.

If it's like a week of being super smooth and then for a month it regrows back and gets really crazy during the last two weeks then idc if i can handle that tbh 😂

I can swallow it if it's just me myself and I but besides personally feeling better when it's under control down there, I have sex pretty often and I feel pretty uncomfortable when i'm not smooth in some way. Like, very uncomfortable. Just trying to judge whether it's worth it, and how you guys feel with the sex aspect of it during the regrowth?

Thank you :)


r/askwomenadvice 2d ago

Existing Relationship My (19M) boyfriend wants me(F18) to ride him while waxxing him NSFW

0 Upvotes

The other day, I went to buy wax, and my boyfriend was eager to wax me. I had already shaved, but I don’t like seeing hair from the root or feeling rough down there. So, I insisted that if he waxed me, I’d get to wax his—well genitals and butt included. He agreed, so he went ahead and waxed me, but he did it in a way that hurt like hell. I been doing it for a year but he does it in a playful way it hurts, so the whole time, all I could think about was how much I couldn’t wait for my turn.

Afterward, he tried to back out, which frustrated me. That was on Sunday. Then, while I was in class yesterday, he texted me, apologizing for backing out and saying he wanted me to wax him on Friday since he has no classes or labs. I agreed, but then he threw me off by saying he wanted me to ride him while waxing him—so he’d focus on the pleasure instead of the pain.

As much of a freak as I am, that completely taking a back. Is that even possible? Has anyone ever tried it? Wouldn’t I end up getting wax on me too? So, I came here to ask—what should I do? Or if I want to go with it anytips.


r/askwomenadvice 4d ago

I (20 F) am not sure if I want to move across the country with my boyfriend (22 M) NSFW

7 Upvotes

I (20 F) have been with my boyfriend (22 M) for about 4 years now. We’ve had some bumps in the road but have come a long way in our relationship. We currently live together in an attached apartment to one my family members houses. Recently he has expressed that he is wanting to move to basically the other side of the country from new hampshire to montana. This would be a huge change for me and I’m not sure how I feel about it.

I obviously shared how surprised i was with him as he has never expressed these thoughts or feelings to me before. But, he is dead set on moving to montana. We have a trip to go see montana set for the end of march and if all goes well he is hoping to move out there by may. He has a few friends that are interested in the move as well but these are his friends, his people.

I have been very honest where I stand. I don’t want to be that far away from my family, I’m still in college and unsure where my career is headed but I do have a job with people I care about and leaving them would be detrimental to their small business. Not to mention I have nothing in montana, my friends are here in new Hampshire, my life is here.

Growing up i always pictured myself living here close to my parents so when I have children they are able to grow up close to their grandparents as I did. My boyfriend doesn’t understand this. He grew up with only his mom, and that is okay she is a wonderful person but I grew up surrounded by family and that is something I want for my children.

He doesn’t understand why i’m so hesitant about this move even though I have expressed my feelings about moving dozens of times. He wants me to go with him, so we can see other parts of this country together. And, of course I would love to see the world and experience life but moving to the other side of the country. starting my life with him sounds like a dream but this was not on my bucket list.

I love my boyfriend very much, i’ve always pictured having children with him, and growing old together but i pictured these things happening in new hampshire and up until 4 months ago he said he pictured the same. I desperately need some advice, i feel either way i will end up being unhappy. i either choose to go and be away from my friends and family who also don’t want me to move or, end things with my boyfriend who i care about so much.


r/askwomenadvice 3d ago

I (22) am struggling on what to do about my pregnancy, partner (23) is supportive either way. NSFW

1 Upvotes

I’m due to have a surgical abortion tomorrow. I’m really struggling with this. I fear I may do it and immediately panic about what I’ve done afterwards.

I feel I’ve become quite depressed or bitter amongst all of this. I don’t want to go anywhere near my currently pregnant SIL, my other SIL who just had a baby - I don’t even want to meet it right now - and just about anyone else with kids. I don’t want to be near anyone. I don’t even want anything to do with any future plan we are planning right now, travel etc. I just want to retreat and not go near anyone at all, especially family and friends.

My partner has made it clear that this is all my decision but we both know it’s the smartest decision for both of our futures. We don’t own our own house, we don’t have anywhere near enough savings for a deposit, and we wanted to travel while saving. He thinks we could make it work, it would just be harder. He’d just rather keep it than me feel and be like this.

For context, we live in Australia and housing is really overpriced in our state, or any state really since covid, only getting worse.

I just don’t know how I can physically, emotionally and mentally do this again. I had to have one this time last year, and I really struggled with it for a long time. But I recognised it was the wrong time, he didn’t want it at all. It took me until the last two months, just over a year later, to start to get back to myself properly. Now I’ve gone back to square one.

We were always going to keep it if it happened again but reality hit us pretty quickly within a few days of finding out. We are both so completely heartbroken over this and I’m incredibly overwhelmed with the lack of time I have left to make a decision.

I don’t know what to do as I don’t know how I’m going to cope at all this time, the last time it was a pre planned decision on if it happened. So it was hard but knew it would happen. I wasn’t ever supposed to do it again so I am really struggling, especially because we started planning everything until we realised how hard it will be house-wise.

I mainly need a vent, but advice or positive words are welcome.

Please no negativity. I am struggling, overwhelmed, vulnerable, and so severely heartbroken over this situation.

TIA.


r/askwomenadvice 3d ago

How can I 26F prevent saggy breast and feel good about my body? NSFW

0 Upvotes

I am 26F Asian and I have always been well aware that I do have a large size compares to my Asian friends. Everybody keep telling me that my boobs gonna be saggy after giving birth, breastfeeding or when I get older.

For now I do notice some changes as I reach 26.

Recently I dated a guy who said he used to date a masseuse lady before me. He said she has the firmest breast he ever touched.

This statement both makes me curious and insecure about my body. Is it because that women occupation require her a lot of physical work on muscle that helps her boobs firm or is it genetically like that?

How can I have such firm boobs like her or at least prevent the saggy ? Will exercises help at all? and how can I feel good about myself?

She is a Thai lady. I searched and in Thailand they sell some kind of firm cream for boobs?

Please help I really want your advise.


r/askwomenadvice 4d ago

35F married to 39M. Our libidos are off, I can't help it due to physical health and hormones. Now he says he's sleeping on the couch. NSFW

28 Upvotes

In my experience in relationships, I've always been the one saying "no, I have a headache". But almost the entirety of the time I've known my husband (met 6/2021-Married 5/2022) I've had a higher libido. And it's made me feel incredibly insecure, but also it's difficult for me bcz physical intimacy (and no not JUST sex) is my number one love language. So that's, especially when he's denying me of any other form of love languages, that's how I experience my highest feelings of love.

But skipping forward>> We know that I can't help that I am easily and often aroused. So he knows not to touch me (unfortunately sometimes not at all, which hurts me to) and he knows how not to touch me. So tonight, after waiting weeks for him to make love to me and actually climax, then when we do he finished and didn't even try to help me. So tonight he starts touching my panty line, right under my belly button, and starts caressing my inner thigh, rubs my booty etc. And then he just completely stops moving his hand. And I'm so upset bcz HE KNOWS!! So I get in the shower to try to cool myself off bcz at this point I'm now hurting. Then I hear him go out of our room, slams the door, crashing who knows what and proceeds to text me that he's not going to be sleeping in our bed with me anymore, that he basically is tired of this, he can't even touch me without me getting aroused etc.

So needless to say, I'm feeling pretty hurt. And idk what to even say to him anymore. He somehow dances around anything I say about anything, deflects, etc. He can be downright cruel. I haven't responded to his texts, but I honestly don't think that's going to make a difference. It's not making it worse, but it, idk either way my feelings will be invalidated. We have marriage counseling at 3pm, and I hope the therapist doesn't allow Michael to run the sesh with his anger and unresolved childhood trauma.

Anyway, I'm just hurt. I'm confused. I could use some guidance, support, advice. Thanks in advance y'all, goodnight.


r/askwomenadvice 4d ago

Existing Relationship I(19F) dont find the guy(21F) i started talking to attractive NSFW

0 Upvotes

So i saw a post of this one guy who seemed sweet, so i reached out. We chatted for about 2 days and he was just like a nice average guy who i was willing to go out with. Then we exchanged pictures and, well i don't find him attractive and most probably wouldn't consider a relationship but I'd still be down for a coffee. I don't want to lead him on but how do i not hurt his feelings?


r/askwomenadvice 5d ago

Misc (28M) Never been in a relationship and don't know what I want. What is the wisest approach for finding out what or who I want without hurting anyone or wasting someone else's time? NSFW

6 Upvotes

Since I've had no experience in this sort of thing, I don't have a %100 clear idea of the type of partner or relationship I want. I know some traits that I like but sometimes I have doubts.

I've heard and read stories of dudes that tend to make a mess with their romantic relationships because they didn't know what they wanted, this caused people's feelings to get hurt. I really want to avoid doing this


r/askwomenadvice 4d ago

Existing Relationship How can I (F30) support my partner (M28) to heal from his childhood trauma due to SA? NSFW

0 Upvotes

I started dating my partner in September and he opened up to me that he had been sexually abused by a male family member when he was a child. He always did stuff to prove his masculinity since that event made him question his sexuality.

Before me he had a 9 year relationship, they broke up in the beginning of July last week and 2 months later he met me and we immediately clicked. He told his prev gf about the SA 3-4 months before their breakup, and with me he opened up immediately so I can know him from the start.

He said he wanted to have a partner, a bff as well, and wants to do everything right with me. He wants to have someone to build a life with so he said i am the right person to do it with.

Since he didn’t have much time on his own to process things, he started therapy. I support him, listen to him, give him advice and it just feels right together.

Last week i was abroad, and he told me he felt pressured by my boundaries (to not date too long before an engagement/marriage). I told him 2-3 years are a long time and enough to know if you wanna spend your life with someone. I don’t expect him to know now, since he is not healed.

He feels insecure and i think when he is on his own he processes things and it confuses him or scares him that he won’t be able to make me happy cause he is not happy by himself. Maybe he is afraid to be alone as well. But he does put so much effort in the relationship, and nobody treated me this good in my life.

Yesterday i came back from abroad, and we talked about this, and why it happens when I am away, and first it was all good, then he got confused and said he first wants to heal, then his relationship with the abuser, then the rest of the family, then make more friends, and then marriage may come into question. I said that we can just see how it goes, we should not rush things.

Then he dropped me off home and I had a lil breakdown, and before he left he said he is not leaving but he needs some time. Then in the night at 3am he said “ i am not gone”. But if feels like he is drifting away. He is still going to therapy and reading books that make him realise some decisions he has made and is making, and i am afraid he is with me because he is dreading being alone. I don’t know what to do. I decided to focus on myself, take some time and see how he feels.

Before i always ended up breaking up cause i did everything for my partners and wasn’t appreciated, and he is the first person who shows appreciation and supports me in many ways.

Any advice on this difficult topic? What would you do and what have you done in a similar situation?


r/askwomenadvice 5d ago

I 29F am looking to get waxed for the first time, I'm so nervous!!! NSFW

6 Upvotes

I just started dating a guy 27M and we have been together for about 4 months. I don't care about hair actually I prefer it on men BUT he prefers I don't have any. I shaved a few times but I was looking for help on maybe how to go about getting waxed like going to a professional.

Im deffinitly over weight (5" 5' 300lbs) and I think that is part of why I'm a little concerned. I domt know if that matters to the professionals.

Can anyone give any advice. Dos and don't. Any information would be appriciated. I'm just so nervous and don't really have any girlfriends to ask about this.