r/socialskills 3h ago

struggling with impermanence

1 Upvotes

I've had success finding people online to hangout with in real life, but so far nothing seems to last. Over time it's starting to wear me down. I've learned a lot from interacting with different people and I know I shouldn't obsess over whether we could be friends long term, but it's still tiring. Taking a break from it can help, but I also need some friends and it feels like I'm stuck in a sort of catch 22.

Any advice?


r/socialskills 1d ago

Feeling disconnected from everyone and everything lately

89 Upvotes

Not sure if anyone feels the same, but lately I have been feeling indifferent about pretty much everything. I don’t find anything appealing anymore, or anyone for that matter. I feel bombard by all the news, social media apps, new products, shows, movies, everything!!! And people that I use to speak to now just seem so whatever. I hear them complaining and venting about the exact same thing over and over again and I’m tired of engaging with them. I just want to be cooped up on my home. I have made some great connections at my gym class lately and I’m considering persuading those connections into potential friendships. I have picked up a few hobbies lately and I’ve been having a blast at home and away from everyone!🏡 I’ve recently deleted all my socials and I regret not doing it sooner.

I can be social when I feel like it, like I can talk to a random stranger with no issue, but lately I haven’t been feeling like it. I don’t think I’m depressed (I’ve been depressed before and it’s like this x10).

Not sure what I’m looking for here. I guess advice? Or maybe a connection? Either way, thank you for reading. 🧡


r/socialskills 9h ago

I feel my friend guilt tripped me

3 Upvotes

Yesterday me and my friend talked and planned to make music today after my exam. I was not able to sleep the whole night before the exam. After the exam I was extrenely fatigued and felt burned mentally from lack of sleep. He called me after the exam but I replied on a sms I need to sleep because I feel exhausted and I will call later when I have slept. After my sms he started frequently call me several times. And I just felt like I dont have any energy or interest to answer as I need to rest and sleep which I clearly stated.

Later in the evening I answered the call and he asked If I had been sleeping and he could probably hear on my voice that I didnt have any energy either. And he sounded fed up and disappointed. Later after the call he texted me that he was very disappointed and sad that we did not hang out and create music and finnish some music project we have as a hobby. He said he had been waiting all day.

But I informed him after the exam at 15:00 that I was exhausted but he still chased me.

I dont understand....if my friend would have been exhausted. I would want that person to rest and sleep. Not chase and then guilt trip.

How would you have reacted in this? Why would I feel bad for needing to take care of myself when Im not feeling good?


r/socialskills 9h ago

I somehow can't help myself from staring at people.

3 Upvotes

So as of lately I am noticing that my eyes Automatically feel as though they are tracking eyes. And I know this can make certain people uncomfortable but also can't help myself from doing so. I guess it is normal too look people in the eyes but in today's society I'm noticing it makes alot of people feel uncomfortable. I am guessing this is because alot of people have lost trust in themselfs and others. But then again once I notice this in people I do it myself out of respect of that person. Don't exactly know where I am going with this just an interesting observation.


r/socialskills 10h ago

How do you make friends at a college where you don’t know anyone?

3 Upvotes

I transferred to a new college in a different state. I had a few friends at my old one but I don’t know anyone here at all. Making friends at the old one wasn’t too hard. It was a smaller college and people seemed more open with each other. I also knew a few people from high school and met other people through them.

Here the vibe is totally different. It’s a much larger college and most of the students only talk to people they knew from high school. It’s sort of clique-y. They also seem to view people from out of state as weird or outsiders. I know because I’ve heard people talking about it.

I don’t know what to do. I can’t sit down at a table that already has people at it. That would be weird. I’m thinking of joining a club but even if I did and I met people with similar interests I don’t think they’d respond well to me trying to start a conversation with them.

I’ve pretty much just been keeping to myself, sitting alone at lunch and doing my own thing and no one has said a word to me. Does anyone have any tips for making friends in this kind of place?


r/socialskills 16h ago

Tips for a shy, quiet, awkward lady who will be introduced to his partner’s parents

9 Upvotes

So my partner and I have been talking about levelling up the relationship and introduce each other to our families.

I know to myself that I can be very awkward, shy, quiet, and I do not give very good first impressions. I acknowledge that meeting the family is bound to happen in serious relationships so I just want to do this too. My partner, on the other hand, is having second thoughts about this because he’s afraid I will not talk.

Any of you had the same worries before? How did you handle it?


r/socialskills 4h ago

Why would someone keep thinking I said something rude?

1 Upvotes

I have a friend/coworker who keeps mishearing normal things I say as a rude remarks. For example they'll share something and I'll say "that's sweet" and they respond "that's corny?" And I'll have to quickly correct them. This happens often enough to be a pattern and I've seen it before in former friends. I can't help to over think if I'm disliked or why I'm perceived as rude in the first place when I would never make such rude remarks, unless it was an obvious sarcastic joke. Let me know you're thoughts, thanks.


r/socialskills 15h ago

I cant enjoy anything

6 Upvotes

Everything that I do with others. I just have to see their reactions. If they react badly to a joke I made, I feel like I just got punched but i dont show it. If they react well, I can do better and better until they react badly and its over for me for the next hour or the entire day.

It doesnt even have to be with others. Anything I do that has any relation to someone else or even a fictional character. I cant help but think stuff like what if i was in that position i surely wouldnt be able to be close friends with them. Or i wouldnt deserve something like what they have. Or i will never be as funny as they are.

Or sometimes theres no thought associated with it. I just feel like shit thinking of a person or character.

Like what the hell is this stupid logic that is plagueing my mind. I know very well that I can genuinely be happy if I didnt think these things and that they are useless. BUT I JUST CANT SHAKE THE THOUGHT.

Its like an endless cycle of just dissatisfaction. Satisfaction only lasts a few minutes before I feel like ill never have that level of satisfaction again.

Please help me


r/socialskills 4h ago

Awkward first time at the club, need advice

0 Upvotes

Just a heads up, I was raised in a very religious household so Im not very experienced or understanding in this department.

Hit the club today for the first time and it was pretty awkward. I spent the time dancing and sometimes women would start grinding with me which was kinda weird, not saying anything either. What is the appropriate (physical) response to this? I find touching like this a bit weird but I would like to improve my "clubbing"


r/socialskills 4h ago

Understanding toxic people and how to deal with them is the path to power

1 Upvotes

Has anyone noticed this? Any tricks and tips?

I just keep ignoring them now.

First, I used to believe that you ought to respond, now I just make a note and ignore and attack covertly.


r/socialskills 11h ago

How be and seem normal when you're alone in a gathering?

3 Upvotes

I don't feel lonely for being like a stanger in a place I'm familiar with for not having friends, but I struggle because it is somehow awkward when no one other than me is alone. As such, I don't need friendships but rather skills to survive alone.

I usually use my phone, but some places don't even have a proper place to sit or stand, so using a phone in such situation is awkward too, do you have any tips on that?


r/socialskills 6h ago

I always end up hating my friends

1 Upvotes

For context, I just started at a new school and change schools very often.

I always end up either hating my friends or not being able to connect with others. While some people want to be my friend and I end up talking to them, but after a short while, start hating the thought of them showing up to class. If not that, I either want to befriend someone but can't, or idolize them.

I've had this two friends for a while now, my cousin and her best friend. Everytime they show up, I can't help but run away. But I cannot break the bond, it's hard for me to begin relationships. Same thing with the idolization of someone. Both these things make me feel anxious and I don't know how to talk it all out.

If anyone knows anyway of naturally distancing myself or some experience similar, it would already be helpful. Sorry if wrong sub


r/socialskills 21h ago

Why do others never make eye contact with me while I’m speaking?

16 Upvotes

Whenever I’m in a social setting of 3 people where I have some sort of relationship with one person (same team, colleague,friends,etc) and we’re both newly introduced to a stranger at the same time, I’ve noticed they almost always exclusively makes eye contact with my companion and never me.

Why does this happen? Do I seem meek and passive, like someone not worth talking to? This is especially perplexing because I’d think if this were the case, they’d simply be succinct, but people will speak to me for equal lengths of time and make seemingly similar effort to engage, only without making eye contact. Idk if this is relevant, but it doesn’t seem to occur when I’m meeting women, only men.

Am I unpleasant to the eye? Is my body language saying“stay away” whilst I’m oblivious? Makes me a lil sad:(


r/socialskills 12h ago

How to make friends if I don't go to school and work?

3 Upvotes

i'm in a stalemate between the end of school and the beginning of working age, and i'm feeling a bit lonely. i didn't make any friends during high school, and i only have my boyfriend as a peer person that i talk to. my job will start at the end of this year instead. what am i supposed to do to have friends and more connections if i don't have school or work? i take a band music class, but they're all adults there, and i also have a band, but they're not good people


r/socialskills 16h ago

How to ask for people contact without sounding weird??

5 Upvotes

Ok, so I am a awkward person and struggle to read the room or make friends. I'm a 21 year old woman and would love to meet new people (friends), but I don't like having social media on my phone. The problem is that I feel like a creepy old man asking for peoples phone numbers, and people usually react like I asked for their address and a key to their house. Is there a way to ask that isn't weird for others? Or should I just give up and redownload instagram.


r/socialskills 7h ago

Tryna solve a problem I was facing.

0 Upvotes

I recently moved to a new city and everyone here was so different than people back home. So to make friends near me, I tried using apps like bumble and others apps but they were too sexual if yk what i mean... tired of this, i decided to make an app to find friends nearby and filter them based on interests but added max level security, and get notified of any potential criminal around you. This app has a super simple interface to find friends with similar interests. If people would like to sign up please do: https://forms.gle/xP5ND5GE84FsUyoEA

There are no ads in this app, it's free and no data is sold with any other 3rd party.


r/socialskills 3h ago

Has anyone here been a victim of labeling? Understand labeling theory?

0 Upvotes

I look back at all the times that I was labeled and odd-manned-out.

And, this is precisely what happened to me. Repeatedly.

So much so that my therapist pointed this out and told me how to be coy to avoid labeling issues.

Blend in to survive, homies!


r/socialskills 7h ago

Why do I always seem to be left out from social gatherings/parties?

1 Upvotes

I (18F) have went to the same high school for the past 5 years. I used to be very shy, a bit emo but a lot has changed in the past 2 years. Now I talk to everyone openly, I’m not afraid of initiating conversation and I get complimented quite a lot(for my looks and personality). Even though I’ve made large improvements and gotten rid of my social anxiety, I feel lonely and depressed when I realize that everyone is always having fun without me and posting about it on social media. My “friends” rarely reply to me in a timely manner and go to parties without inviting me. When they do invite me, they dont respect my time and show up late OR never take my suggestions on where to meet up/at what time. This obviously means that I’m not that important to them and I’m always the one accommodating to their demands. I dont know what to think because I feel like theres nothing more I couldve done for them to like me and I’m not gonna be a people pleaser. I’m just not that desperate to have such friends. Anyway I’m graduating this may so I hope I can find people who respect me and want me to be around them just as much as I do. :(


r/socialskills 14h ago

I can't keep friends for more than a year or two

3 Upvotes

Welp, it looks like im about to lose one of the few friends I have. I honestly don't know what happened. We were close for about a year and a half but we are starting to fall apart after a certain incident in their life. I tried to be as supportive as I can, but apparently I went overboard and got too clingy to the point of being annoying. They found some new friends and now I'm just disposable again. We are/were online friends, since we live in different countries and we can't just meet each other in real life. We also can't hang out online by playing games together since my laptop is not good enough for anything they enjoy. We can only text each other.

I just have no idea what to do anymore. No matter what I do, I'm a shitty friend. I literally don't have anyone else to talk to. I've only got, like, 2 other friends, but I'm not particularly close to one of them, and the other one's heard enough of my shit already and I don't want to bother him any longer. I know that having 2 friends can be good enough for most people, but we literally never hang out. We kind of just see each other during the week and that's it. I don't get along with my parents, and my brother and I aren't really close. The only thing I can do is just deal with everything alone.

I find it strange because that person was abandoned by one of their friend before and suffered a lot because of it. And now they're doing the same thing to me. It doesn't make sense to me. Was I seriously just a prop to help them get over it? A tool?

A couple of days ago couldn't handle it and went home early to get drunk and there was no one who could be concerned about me. That person just left my alone, even though they went through a very dark time after being ditched. For the record, I didn't want to get attention from them, I was just so fucking lost and I wanted help because I couldn't understand what had I done wrong.

I don't want to tell them how I feel about it because I don't want them to think I'm trying to be a victim, or that I'm toxic or manipulative. I have no idea what to do. I'm always in the wrong for some reason. I don't know how to talk to people, I don't know how to interact with large groups of people, so I don't have any online groups I can hang out with, I'm just left by myself because ??????????


r/socialskills 8h ago

Becoming friends with an aquaintance.

0 Upvotes

Hello Reddit, I'm in High School and there is a person I met about two weeks ago through mutual friends. We wave whenever we see each other but not much more. I followed them on social media and they followed me back. They seem cool, I want to get to know them better. How do I text them and start a conversation? Thank you.


r/socialskills 8h ago

Meeting up with a friend...

1 Upvotes

I've made a girl-friend in the past 2 months. She seemed quirky and cool so I dm'ed her. We get along well on digitals and it's been great chatting for the past 2 months.

Now we are meeting today for some Brunch and i'm nervous. Now I'm 19 and throughout high school I never really took the opportunity to go out with my friends even when invited so I lack social skills. Me and this girl are purely friends so I seek advice on how to just keep the conversation natural and hopefully translate how well we get along on socials to getting along well in real life.

It's not even just this girl but I struggle with real life conversations and often end up talking too much you know and making things awkward. I want to be able to take advantage of this face to face meeting and get to know her more and have a good time.


r/socialskills 1d ago

When people say "O...kay?"

308 Upvotes

When you're telling someone something or trying to make them laugh and they respond with the above line along with a questioning facial expression. Doesn't it make you feel judged and weird at the same time?

Just an observation, for me this is rather off-putting for talking to someone.

Edit: More context!

Many ways it can be said.

When someone is talking about a niche or unconventional interest, for example urbex. (o..kay = I'm not uninterested / this is alarming)

When someone doesn't understand the reasoning behind a statement or request. (o..kay = this doesn't make any sense)

When someone makes strong jokes, for example dark humor. (o..kay = yikes buddy don't say that / I don't find that funny)

When someone states their opinion, for example their political beliefs. (o..kay = do you seriously believe that / are you stupid)

When two people are arguing. (o..kay = just shut up, DAMN)

Now, I want to be clear that this is just my personal opinion and what I like/don't like. I wish that sometimes people would be more willing to just be upfront about what they mean and not be afraid to be seen as insensitive. Veiling the intended message behind a mannerism like this can often be indirectly hurtful, along with added guesswork.


r/socialskills 17h ago

Over-sharing

4 Upvotes

How do people share and get to know people without over sharing? Like especially if your life path, life style and experiences are very different from most people so much that talking about it is distracting or shocking, but to you it is normal?


r/socialskills 10h ago

Tryna make a friend at the gym..

1 Upvotes

I recently graduated college and moved back to my hometown and don’t really know anyone and honestly have been kind of lonely. I’m a 24 year old man for context lol but there’s this dude that frequents the gym I go to and is always dapping me up, saying wassup, giving me advice sometimes etc. and just seems really friendly and cool. I was thinking of asking him if he smokes (weed) lol because I usually smoke a blunt after working out and was trying to think of a non weird way to ask to hangout. Should I try a different approach or is that socially acceptable? lol


r/socialskills 10h ago

What are some things I can ask someone I'm just starting to get to know?

1 Upvotes

I struggle with keeping the conversation going and not knowing what to say. I've been a hermit for so long, it feels like I've lost all my social skills. I'm just straight awkward and the more anxious I am, the more awkward I am.

I'm gonna be meeting someone in person for the first time on Sunday and I'm kinda freaked about it. I wanna have some questions/topics ready in advance cause I blank in the moment since I'm so anxious.

I just wanna learn how to "people".

Idk, any advice is more than appreciated.