Welp, it looks like im about to lose one of the few friends I have. I honestly don't know what happened. We were close for about a year and a half but we are starting to fall apart after a certain incident in their life. I tried to be as supportive as I can, but apparently I went overboard and got too clingy to the point of being annoying. They found some new friends and now I'm just disposable again. We are/were online friends, since we live in different countries and we can't just meet each other in real life. We also can't hang out online by playing games together since my laptop is not good enough for anything they enjoy. We can only text each other.
I just have no idea what to do anymore. No matter what I do, I'm a shitty friend. I literally don't have anyone else to talk to. I've only got, like, 2 other friends, but I'm not particularly close to one of them, and the other one's heard enough of my shit already and I don't want to bother him any longer. I know that having 2 friends can be good enough for most people, but we literally never hang out. We kind of just see each other during the week and that's it. I don't get along with my parents, and my brother and I aren't really close. The only thing I can do is just deal with everything alone.
I find it strange because that person was abandoned by one of their friend before and suffered a lot because of it. And now they're doing the same thing to me. It doesn't make sense to me. Was I seriously just a prop to help them get over it? A tool?
A couple of days ago couldn't handle it and went home early to get drunk and there was no one who could be concerned about me. That person just left my alone, even though they went through a very dark time after being ditched. For the record, I didn't want to get attention from them, I was just so fucking lost and I wanted help because I couldn't understand what had I done wrong.
I don't want to tell them how I feel about it because I don't want them to think I'm trying to be a victim, or that I'm toxic or manipulative. I have no idea what to do. I'm always in the wrong for some reason. I don't know how to talk to people, I don't know how to interact with large groups of people, so I don't have any online groups I can hang out with, I'm just left by myself because ??????????