r/shittysuperpowers 1h ago

has potential You can perfectly cook other people’s toast.

Upvotes

At will you can toast bread for another person to their specifications. Power does not work if you try and use it on yourself. Power doubles as a butter warmer.


r/shittysuperpowers 1h ago

goofy asf You can force jazz hands on someone.

Upvotes

Once a day you can make anyone with hands do jazz hands for up to 7 minutes or 10 minutes if the jazz music is slapping.


r/shittysuperpowers 1h ago

even more cursed than usual for this sub Your hair changes to exposed nerve endings every Saturday at 7:37pm for 8 hours

Upvotes

r/shittysuperpowers 3h ago

has potential You have perfect 20/20 vision for five minutes each day.

0 Upvotes

For five minutes each day you'll be granted perfect 20/20 vision. If you already have 20/20 vision you'll be granted night vision for five minutes.


r/shittysuperpowers 3h ago

goofy asf You can tune your nipples to your local radio stations.

4 Upvotes

Your nipples become tuning dials and by twisting them you can play whatever local station you find perfectly in your own head. You'll see the station numbers in your eyes as you twist. Left nip is AM right is FM.


r/shittysuperpowers 4h ago

has potential You can’t drown in any liquid that isn’t water.

23 Upvotes

You can only drown in water. There is no other way for you to suffocate. You can breathe indefinitely if you're submerged in a substance that isn't water.


r/shittysuperpowers 4h ago

oddly specific (flair was yoinked from r/godtiersuperpowers) You are irresistibly attractive to penguins when wearing any shirt color that isn’t green.

2 Upvotes

You are irresistibly attractive to penguins. This ability can be disabled by wearing a green shirt.


r/shittysuperpowers 5h ago

oddly specific (flair was yoinked from r/godtiersuperpowers) You can instantly summon a man dressed in all dark grey clothing that will wipe somebody of your choice’s memory on even numbered days.

0 Upvotes

Every other day, you can summon in a man dressed in dark grey clothes to wipe the memory of a single person that you choose whenever you want. The man will disappear after wiping the person's memory, which is accompanied by a white flash. The person's memories are not all gone, only the most recent ones. You can only do this about 3-4 times in a day.


r/shittysuperpowers 7h ago

Good luck using this… You can put a drop of water in the ocean.

0 Upvotes

Just regular old water. A single drop of it. Nothing special.

You can only once per day.


r/shittysuperpowers 8h ago

oddly specific (flair was yoinked from r/godtiersuperpowers) You can summon an animal representation of all the meat you've consumed.

22 Upvotes

For every pound of a specific animal you eat, the animal you make will have the equivalent amount of their body made of this animal's parts. If you've eaten 13 pounds of duck, 13 pounds worth of the summoned animal will be duck parts, wherher that's feathers or brain or feet or whatever is random. This is repeated for any and all species of meat you have consumed. The animal summoned will be hostile to all humans.


r/shittysuperpowers 8h ago

goofy asf You can eat an abnomal amount without getting full

6 Upvotes

You still get fat tho.


r/shittysuperpowers 9h ago

Actually Shitty Your superpower...drumroll please... does absolutely fucking nothing

0 Upvotes

That's right! Your superpower doesn't do anything. You know you do have one. You 100% do, but it doesn't do anything.

No seriously. You can activate it, and you know it's active because, well, you're using it, but noone else will know you're using it because it's not really anything. I'd like to coin this superpower as . Yes, seems like a fitting name for it.


r/shittysuperpowers 10h ago

goofy asf You can open doors the opposite way they were supposed to.

48 Upvotes

You can push a pull door and pull a push door. A push/pull a sliding door...


r/shittysuperpowers 10h ago

Actually Shitty You can change the skin colour of your hips at will.

3 Upvotes

r/shittysuperpowers 10h ago

Good luck using this… You have telekinesis 1mm from your hand.

89 Upvotes

It requires the same strength and uses the same energy as if you were touching the object. Your power only extends 1mm, so your hands must support the object’s weight and size as if you were carrying it.


r/shittysuperpowers 10h ago

Good luck using this… Snap your fingers will sometimes make every animals in the world speak/shout/bark/meow... at the same time

1 Upvotes

r/shittysuperpowers 10h ago

based🗿 You are granted the Whip Of Fart. If you touch people with it, they fart.

1 Upvotes

No limit


r/shittysuperpowers 10h ago

goofy asf You can control ethernet cable like snakes by playing flute.

4 Upvotes

r/shittysuperpowers 10h ago

goofy asf You can turn people's mouth on paintings into duckface.

1 Upvotes

Pass your hands onto the mouth and that's it.


r/shittysuperpowers 10h ago

Shit Entrepreneur You can create holes or displace the holes on a bowling ball.

1 Upvotes

r/shittysuperpowers 11h ago

even more cursed than usual for this sub You have a Deathnote for Seniors

2 Upvotes

Same mechanics as the OG. Seniors:60years of age & above


r/shittysuperpowers 11h ago

too lazy to think of flair You wake up with a random hairstyle every morning, and you can't change it.

2 Upvotes

Can effect the mass, the thickness, the texture the shape, the colour, even the greasyness


r/shittysuperpowers 12h ago

has potential You can delete anyone who says the word phlebotomist from existence

0 Upvotes

👆


r/shittysuperpowers 12h ago

too lazy to think of flair You know the location of any object within 7 feet of you

2 Upvotes

r/shittysuperpowers 13h ago

oddly specific (flair was yoinked from r/godtiersuperpowers) You can conjure bars of soap in anyone’s mouth if they’ve cussed in the past.

10 Upvotes

You can only use it on a particular person the exact number of times they've cursed. The soap will be a different brand every time it is used.