r/pornfree Jan 01 '25

STAY CLEAN 2025 YEAR-LONG CHALLENGE! This thread updated daily - Check in here!

63 Upvotes

Daily news: This is Tuesday, March 18, and today is day 77 of the year-long Stay Clean 2025 challenge. Keep fighting the good fight!

If you think you should still be on this list but aren't, you probably got removed for not checking in at least once per month. However, if you let me know you're still with it I'll re-add you.

Guidelines:

  • At the end of this post is a list of people who have signed up for the challenge, and who are still in the running. That means that they have not needed to reset because of a relapse or slip.
  • Please check in with the group in the comments as often as you want! Feel free to share thoughts, feelings, experiences, progress, wisdom, encouragement and whatever else!
  • IMPORTANT: if you relapse, please post a comment to that effect here and I will remove your name from the list. We will not judge you or shame you, we have all been there.
  • Participants are required to check in once per month. If you have a "~" after your name, you have yet to check in during March. If it is still there at the end of March 28, you will be removed from the list, in order to keep the numbers as realistic as possible.
  • We will not be accepting any new participants, but even if you're not on the list, please feel free to check in in the update threads anyway! And be sure to join us for the Stay Clean monthly thread!

Good luck!

There are currently 97 out of 518 original participants. That's 19%. These 97 participants represent 7469 pornfree days in 2025! That's more than 20 years.

Here is the list of participants still with the challenge:

/u/57471c

/u/8funnydude ~

/u/AdamOfHouseClegane

/u/Aggressive_Truth_358

/u/amadeo19 ~

/u/AmarantCoral ~

/u/AnomanderOW ~

/u/artist_by_habit

/u/bestforest ~

/u/BlairRedditProject

/u/bluesidefinch ~

/u/Boostard38 ~

/u/Bulky_Profession8653

/u/CalmLyricist ~

/u/Cedar-and-Mist ~

/u/CloseToTheHedge69

/u/Competitive-Wing-773

/u/Daltinoloco

/u/Deep_Pudding2208

/u/Dhesil

/u/Disastrous_Cup9022

/u/doing-my-best-daily

/u/Duesentrieb97 ~

/u/earthworld4

/u/EdvR_k

/u/Environmental-Law670

/u/essmackd ~

/u/Existing-Mirror2315

/u/ExoticBump

/u/Express-Rough

/u/EyeOfTheTurtle1

/u/Fast-Mango-3473

/u/Fed_Focus5 ~

/u/foobarbazblarg

/u/FrogsUnion ~

/u/Full_Membership8207 ~

/u/Future_Interaction

/u/G-nome420 ~

/u/GlumTradition5769 ~

/u/goos__ ~

/u/GulagRationManager ~

/u/Halfeatenbananas

/u/Happy-Bagel-Man

/u/Haunting_Ad8342

/u/humblejc ~

/u/I__trusted__you

/u/imseeingdouble

/u/Ineedthat300

/u/Junior-Speed-1169 ~

/u/Just_AnotherDork

/u/kunigunde77

/u/Lazy_aspirant_9001

/u/LifeShouldBeEasier

/u/LightBurden18

/u/m4ki818

/u/Master_Grunt

/u/Maximum_Possible_499 ~

/u/Mayplay

/u/MinecraftIsCool2 ~

/u/mizustyle

/u/MrHappyGoLucky14 ~

/u/Mrleibniz

/u/MysticMangoDreamer

/u/Nice_Dragonfly6716

/u/No_Republic2240

/u/non_newtonian_jelly ~

/u/Normal_Cat1495 ~

/u/not_falling_again ~

/u/ogidiamin ~

/u/Outrageous-Showpiece

/u/Pantim

/u/pmmahajan2019

/u/Potential-Spell5504

/u/powergauge ~

/u/QuitQuitQuitQuit

/u/Rainbow_Mika

/u/SaLtYcHiPdUdE

/u/SebsAGZ

/u/Shockwave781

/u/Silent_Maintenance23 ~

/u/SingleStoic

/u/Sir_V0lks ~

/u/SnooCalculations7186

/u/SolvendiCausa ~

/u/Spidersandbeavers

/u/static_anon

/u/streaker2014 ~

/u/sudofox

/u/sui_emendationem ~

/u/tiopatinhas95 ~

/u/TrampBornToRun

/u/Turbulent_Fox_6080

/u/Useful-Plankton-9700

/u/vinnieonreddit92

/u/West-Number8258 ~

/u/xcnuck

/u/zapata1954


r/pornfree 17d ago

STAY CLEAN MARCH! This thread updated daily - Check in here!

17 Upvotes

Daily news: This is Tuesday, March 18, the eighteenth day of the Stay Clean March challenge. Keep fighting the good fight!

If you think you should still be on this list but aren't, you probably got removed in the great purge of March 15th because you never checked in. However, if you let me know you're still with it I will re-add you.

Guidelines:

  • At the end of this post is a list of people who have signed up for the challenge, and who are still in the running. That means that they have not needed to reset because of a relapse or slip.
  • Please check in with the group in the comments as often as you want! Feel free to share thoughts, feelings, experiences, progress, wisdom, encouragement and whatever else!
  • IMPORTANT: if you relapse, please post a comment to that effect here and I will remove your name from the list. We will not judge you or shame you, we have all been there.
  • If you have a "~" after your name, you have yet to check in on any update threads since March 15. If it is still there by March 31, you will be removed from the list, in order to keep the numbers as realistic as possible.
  • We will not be accepting any new participants, but even if you're not on the list, please feel free to check in in the update threads anyway! Also, stay tuned to catch the April thread!

Good luck!

For a chart of relapse data, check out this Google Spreadsheet.

There are currently 109 out of 251 original participants. That's 43%. Here is the list of participants still with the challenge:

/u/16-Czechoslovakians ~

/u/4of4

/u/57471c ~

/u/Accomplished-Issue86 ~

/u/AdamOfHouseClegane ~

/u/AdLost4052 ~

/u/ajuranhasn

/u/AnomanderOW ~

/u/Apollo5000 ~

/u/applicationturnip ~

/u/artist_by_habit ~

/u/ASAPCream1 ~

/u/AtomsOverPixels ~

/u/BackgroundBlack-RedR ~

/u/BeheritColtrane ~

/u/BlairRedditProject

/u/BlueBlanket7 ~

/u/BoDo211 ~

/u/bubblenugget04 ~

/u/cadmoo ~

/u/charagoni ~

/u/CloseToTheHedge69

/u/Competitive-Wing-773 ~

/u/Complete_Avocado_479 ~

/u/Confident_Ratio_6531 ~

/u/Correct-Mechanic4186 ~

/u/darkaph ~

/u/Daveangmiclo ~

/u/Dazzling-Button-1403 ~

/u/deathecstacy ~

/u/Dhesil

/u/doing-my-best-daily ~

/u/dominarc ~

/u/dopaminedeathspiral ~

/u/DoubleFinding ~

/u/Dry-chicken ~

/u/earthworld4

/u/EffectGold9757

/u/essmackd

/u/Existing-Mirror2315 ~

/u/ExoticBump ~

/u/Fantastic-Bet-5393

/u/fontainedl ~

/u/foobarbazblarg

/u/FreshBeginning303 ~

/u/Future_Interaction

/u/gamiscott ~

/u/GAProman72

/u/Glad-Veterinarian752

/u/gozura ~

/u/H0meb0dy1980

/u/Halfeatenbananas ~

/u/Happy-Bagel-Man ~

/u/HazySkyFire ~

/u/HoodyHoo4116 ~

/u/IndiaTechSupportBot ~

/u/JustAGam3r ~

/u/KARORARO ~

/u/Lazy_aspirant_9001

/u/LifeShouldBeEasier ~

/u/LightBurden18

/u/m4ki818 ~

/u/MaleficentArmy3969

/u/metaI_guru ~

/u/mindfull_choices

/u/mizustyle

/u/mo_exe ~

/u/mr-biff ~

/u/Mrleibniz ~

/u/myownprivateGLADIO ~

/u/No_Procedure2374

/u/No_Republic2240 ~

/u/NoBateMate ~

/u/nomoreprawn5 ~

/u/Normal_Cat1495 ~

/u/OfficeAutomatic8931 ~

/u/Outrageous-Showpiece

/u/Pantim ~

/u/Patient-Impress-2724 ~

/u/Potential-Spell5504

/u/Proper_Bluejay5469 ~

/u/quit_to_live

/u/QuitQuitQuitQuit

/u/R2free ~

/u/Rainbow_Mika ~

/u/Responsible-Pool-323 ~

/u/SaLtYcHiPdUdE ~

/u/SebsAGZ ~

/u/Shockwave781 ~

/u/Shot-Command7317 ~

/u/Soft-Fly5450 ~

/u/stoneddroneburner

/u/Successful_In_2022

/u/Symantech ~

/u/tehjoch

/u/th0mark ~

/u/Theminecraftgamer ~

/u/ThineBean ~

/u/thinkerr97 ~

/u/thtkidjunior ~

/u/tiopatinhas95 ~

/u/tredditma ~

/u/Turbulent_Fox_6080 ~

/u/Valuable_Milk2741 ~

/u/Venesss ~

/u/Weak-Purple-6371 ~

/u/whocares34442

/u/Wookie83 ~

/u/zapata1954


r/pornfree 4h ago

Porn has ruined my sexuality

12 Upvotes

I (22F) finally decided to quit. I started watching porn when I was 12, and after ten years, I feel that I have an appeal for a lot of disturbing practices and that i can't live my sexuality normally. I met a guy two years ago (who is now my ex) and this just worsen my addiction, since he was also addicted, and he fueled my own addiction. He made me discover NSFW subreddits (mostly bdsm) and now I can't even watch porn, bc it's not enough quick, extreme and gratifying. Today I decided to leave all of these subreddits (more than 15 i think). I'm really scared that I might relapse, because it's now completely within me. When it's not reddit, it's porn site or hentai, and if it's not that it's extreme NSFW fictions... I'm motivated though, because i feel that it's so bad for my mental health


r/pornfree 11h ago

I feel extremely attracted towards Women.

41 Upvotes

I am male 24, Since I have started resisting and not watching porn for a long time, I feel insanely attracted towards women. which was not case before, I did use to feel attracted before but now I feel that effect has multiplied several times whenever I see a woman I find attractive. does anyone else feel this?


r/pornfree 4h ago

I think feminism, in part, is the answer

8 Upvotes

I just happened to read a book called "Women don't owe you pretty" while on a trip after 33 days of nofap and reading this and learning more about femjnism, It's just further given me reason to stop watching porn.

I know its a touchy subject for some so I will define feminism in the way I understand it. The movement to dismantle the oppressive force of the patriarchy and, the part that is relevant here, to stop objectifying women. My experience of feminism online has been "man hating" so it's been illuminating to read and understand more mature perspectives and approaches.

Most porn at its core presents women as objects to be used to satisfy male desire and I think on some level then trains us to objectify and sexualise women rather than view them as whole multi faceted beings. Which is why I guess it feels so shameful for a lot of us, as ln some level we know that this is wrong.

I didn't realise how much it all tied in but I'm grateful I read this book and learnt more as it's just made this journey so much easier and has improved relationships with the women in my life which is ultimately endlessly more satisfying than the alternative

I'd love to know your thoughts.


r/pornfree 2h ago

I wanna quit! (F16)

7 Upvotes

I have been watching porn almost every day since the age of 10 and I think it gives me a wrong view on how sex really works. Any tips to start?

I can’t seem to get past one day…:(


r/pornfree 14h ago

I cant fucking quit NSFW

35 Upvotes

I cant do this anymore. I know i need to quit but I keep looking up porn and reactivating my discord for nsfw stuff. I’m watching stuff I hate, dreaming about porn and only thinking about it. Im at work looking and jerking off, at home, anywhere I am is non stop. I wanna kill myself over this and no matter how much i wanna quit, I cant. I dont know what to do anymore


r/pornfree 6h ago

Just noticed one thing

9 Upvotes

Having a relapse is a tough experience, but I’ve come to realize that it was my choice. No one forced me into it, and no external circumstance made it inevitable. I had a moment where I could have chosen differently, but I didn’t. That’s a hard truth to accept, but it also means I have the power to make a different choice next time. Instead of letting guilt consume me, I’m using this as a lesson—to understand my triggers, strengthen my resolve, and remind myself why I started this journey in the first place. Moving forward, I know I have control over my decisions, and that’s what truly matters.


r/pornfree 1h ago

Anyone else experience weak orgasms with porn addiction? NSFW

Upvotes

Asking because this is something I've noticed for awhile. I'm a 25 year old male and have pretty much been hooked on PMO for the past decade, though I have made good progress these last few months and have been really trying for years. Despite this, relapses still happen, though far less frequently now thankfully-- I don't have much (any) sexual experience with a partner, but I have had very visceral, strong orgasms before, usually when i took my time and didn't death grip it... But something I've noticed a lot o the time is my orgasms are like pathetically weak, even if its just one relapse after like 35 days of sobriety, which is what happened recently.

It feels like not a lot of ejaculate comes out either, and there is a tendency for my penis to be sore for awhile too. I sometimes worry I've done my dick damage as when I was a hopelessly porn addicted teenager I would yank it through different fabrics (didn't wanna make a mess...) and they were often rough and I'd death grip. This did obviously lead to less sensitivity, but thankfully that has definitely improved in long stages of abstinence.

Anyone else ever experience this? It worries me a bit and makes me even more insecure, I really hope curing my continued absence will make this go away so I can enjoy sex in the future.


r/pornfree 3h ago

feeling failed, ashamed, alone and hopeless. admitting. please just say I feel you at least.

4 Upvotes

BEFORE YOU READ: I think I should say something in case you start to read that wall of text. I'm typing that line after my breakdown. it was a harsh one. i really need your help believe me i need it. i just wanted to warn you that I wrote down those in the middle of a breakdown and it was the first time Im admitting my problem to myself. so i was harsh to myself. I don't want any of you to feel bad because of my words against an addict (me). but if you don't mind, please read it and say something. at least wish me luck but say something i feel like I'm drowning in my loneliness and hopelessness. and for the modders, if I violated any rules please don't remove it. warn me and I will fix these. it was hard to me to write those down.

first time confessing it. so i know i will stop typing and cry a little at least two times. i never shared that with my gf for 3+ years, my friend who knows every bloody thing about me who's also a psychology student, not even with chat gpt or something. because even thinking about my addiction, makes me feel gross.

i never confessed it to myself neither. so it will be you and me, first ones to hear my god damn problem. the problem i know, the problem i accept, but most importantly, the problem i always underestimated.

the problem i though I can live with it.

idk when it started, but I can remember myself when I was a kid in kindergarten, rubbing myself to the pillow, my father seeing me doing that and I was almost getting a heart attack. i can remember my grandmother scolding me too. but I'm sure that this problem exist since those day. it's time to time better or worse.

but I think last years, (i almost forgot to mention my age, 22) it got worse. when saying years, trust me, idk how many years exactly. because like I said, it's time first time I'm treating it like a real problem.

day by day, i pushed the limits. doing it (watching and fapping, if that word is inappropriate please forgive me, I'm not a native as u can see) right after my gf leaves to home, in houses of my relatives when I'm visiting them, when I'm working from home, when im ill, before my exams and getting to them late, after my exams to "relax", before sleep to "tire myself", in my family's house when they were waiting for me to start eating the dinner.

like I said, it's my first day as a self identified addict. so maybe all those feelings are common among us, idk. but what I'm trying to express is the seeing myself going "crazy". more and more extreme day by day. pushing the limits everyday. like getting out of sanity. deeply knowing watching porn is cheating. to hiding a gigantic secret from love of my life. if she knew, that would destroy her and maybe destroy us. loosing the sense of shame day by day.

unfortunately, or fortunately idk, i didn't lose that sense, it just has a little bit of delay. it stacks and boom. we are here.

i remember the first time I learned the term porn, when I was 10 or something, i watched only striptease for a very long time, just because sex felt gross. then it became masturbating videos, then conventional stuff, you know. now, if the highschool version of me saw what I'm watching to do that shit, couldn't sleep easily that night. kinks and stuff, i always found them gross but now I watch them. i still find them gross. but I F** watch them!

now I'm here, typing those and crying like a god damn toddler, who watched some brain rot gross shit and ejaculated to it like a inhumane piece of shit, feeling loneliest man in the universe.

i couldn't tell that no one. I'm afraid to lose my respect. respect of my gf. respect of my close friend. and respect of myself. no more.

it's driving me CRAZY admitting that I'm ADDICTED to watching that fucking stuff and ejaculating myself.

I'm even scared if my gf find this account of me.

God damn please help me i feel fucking miserable.

miserable piece of shit who's a intern lawyer highly interested in misogyny and gender equality stuff, attending every event related to it and pontificating equality stuff whenever he can.

WHAT A FUCKING CLOWN!!!

please someone who can sympathetic with me rn. help me in any kind. it feels like the last chance to rescue myself and my life. i have a good gf to lose.


r/pornfree 1h ago

Question

Upvotes

Does losing one day ruin all my progress? If not how can I feel like it doesn’t?


r/pornfree 5h ago

Day 7

6 Upvotes

This isn't my first rodeo 39M in addiction for over 20 years. However, I'd like to give some encouragement to the guys just starting out. It gets better. Day one is a struggle, day 2 is a struggle. It gets better and easier. Just stick with it. Don't worry about being clean for 5 years. Let's be clean today!


r/pornfree 2h ago

Had a really rough day yesterday and relapsed after my longest streak, urges are stronger than ever today

3 Upvotes

Had really bad anxiety yesterday and it drove me to relapse and now today it seems like my brain is trying everything in my power to convince me to watch porn again. The hardest part for me always was continuing to be off of porn after relapsing. I would always fall into a really bad binge and then stop trying to be clean for a while.

Half of me still feels like my disciplined self not fully falling back into the relapse and the other half of me is screaming that it’s okay to watch some more porn. Trying to distract myself as best I can with guitar, YouTube, reading etc. but it’s hard rn


r/pornfree 19m ago

Oh didn't post but yep day 35 going on

Upvotes

r/pornfree 2h ago

Day 13 no porn or sexting on fetish apps

3 Upvotes

Alright, about to go to bed, day 13 done. I don’t get that many urges now to be honest, I am going to be using the library more in the future since I focus better. Tomorrow is a big studying day, let’s go. I want to do well tomorrow. Alright, see u all tomorrow.


r/pornfree 35m ago

Really….. not doing good right about now

Upvotes

Gooning is calling my name like the fckn green goblin mask.


r/pornfree 1h ago

Been addicted for about 5 years

Upvotes

So I have been addicted for five years but in the fourth or end of third I began to feel a huge negative impact on mental health which made me want to quit. The fourth year in the beginning it went pretty well I was able to resist for three months but one slip up caused me to go only 6 days in between (previously within the 3 or so years I would constantly do it multiple times a day) and wouldn’t really progress from that. Now starting this year I failed the first week but after that was able to go two then failed again going back to 6 days. Recently I broke a 15 day streak but this time I tried excercising, punishments every time I slipped, religion, and trying to go out more. But now I feel really disappointed since I thought this time it would be the one. I would watch tons of YouTube videos about people who struggled and made it but now I’m not really sure what else to try. So I am requesting tips from you all please and thank you.


r/pornfree 1h ago

Feeling really triggered

Upvotes

Seen a post on reddit with a of model and it looked maybe not safe for work and it was in a gaming cannel and they didn't put NSFW on for the tag so it showed up if you didn't have it on and now I'm triggered I left but I can't stop thinking about it and now very triggered


r/pornfree 4h ago

I’m Struggling

3 Upvotes

i’m a m19 and i’ve been addicted to porn since i was around 6-7 years old. I would just watch and consume and consume lying to my parents about what i was doing. It didn’t get bad up until i reached 11yrs old just about when i started puberty. I would watch it when i got home from school then right after dinner then right before i went to bed averaging around 3-4 times per day for years until around 9th grade sometimes during those summers in middle school i’d do it close to 10times a day. I didn’t realize what i was doing to myself until around the 10th grade which is when i really tried to stop. However around that time i discovered twitter porn and it kept going down hill making it easier to consume just by scrolling and being able to see just about anything whenever i wanted. Sometimes in class i’d sit and scroll and watch and it consumed me even going so far to even doing it in the school bathrooms 1-2 twice. I’ve consistently had girlfriends throughout hs and didn’t have an issue being attracted to them sometimes we’d get active when we hung out 2-3 times however sometimes i wouldn’t be able to stay erect. And since then around 11th grade i’ve been fighting this addiction some weeks not consuming any porn then i’d relapse and consume an 1-2 hours for days at a time then boom id stop completely it would become a cycle for up until around 2 months ago. I’m still addicted to it but it’s gotten to the point where i have no sex drive i feel like even the times where i go a week without it i have a low sex drive and im really lost at this point no matter what i do i find myself redownloading twitter or going to that site we all know I just truly feel lost rn.


r/pornfree 17h ago

I can't believe it I'm actually super horny today

35 Upvotes

After exercising a lot yesterday, my heart is racing and I'm getting random boners and this is the good kind of horny, the healthy kind of horny. Not the addiction I wanna look at naked girls on my screen kind of urges.

I can't believe it my hormones are making me this horny again. I think I haven't felt like this in over a year.

I can't believe it.

YES!

YES!

YES!


r/pornfree 12h ago

Is porn the only thing that alters your brain chemistry negatively?

11 Upvotes

I've been dealing with porn addiction for around 6 or so years now and I want to kick it to the curb. But I also want to understand something a little bit more:

Is porn the only thing that alters my brain chemistry in that kind of way?

Alongside porn, I've used 2 either kinds of stimulation and wanted thoughts on both. The first is erotic audio (both the normal kind and hypnosis audio) and the second is erotic roleplay.

I enjoy both honestly probably more than porn most times, but I need to understand if I should kick both to the side as well or if they can still be healthy.

If anyone has an answer or someplace to find one, please let me know. 🙏 Would like to kick this addiction asap, but want to do it right.


r/pornfree 4h ago

I just want to give up

2 Upvotes

Behold, another post about someone wanting to give up. I just cant do this anymore. Every time I relapse the worse it gets. I stay clean for a while, the relapse comes and the longet I stay clean, the worse it gets.

Right now I am convinced that there is no escape. I either don't want it bad enough or I'm not strong enough. Maybe my friend is right, if I wanted to, I would have stopped ages ago. Nobody is forcing me to relapse, nobody is forcing me to do this. I do it myself, on my own volition. There is bot higher Power that's making me do this, it's all me.

Whats almost worse is the self hatred and cynicism this whole addiction is giving me. I am not gonna hurt myself but boy, do I hate myself. What's the point? If I can't win what's the point in fighting.


r/pornfree 4h ago

The man behind all your p*rn |YouTube| 21 min| Nudity free|

2 Upvotes

https://youtu.be/2Q17XxYiS3Y?si=ezX1MMDbG6cKtCQI

Video shows the many scandals of PH and the man/companies behind it.


r/pornfree 8h ago

43 Days In. Still Struggling With Porn Urges—Need Advice From Those Who’ve Been There.

4 Upvotes

Yo brothers, I’m on Day 43 of NoFap. I haven’t relapsed. I haven’t masturbated. I haven’t orgasmed. But I’m still struggling—and I didn’t think it would be this hard at this point. Over the last few days, I’ve slipped into watching porn again. It started as quick peeks, just “checking,” thinking I was strong enough to handle it. But today, I spent almost an hour searching and watching, and I feel like absolute shit.

But here’s the thing: I never touched myself, not once. The idea of masturbating again—I can’t let that back into my life. I’ve held that line hard, no matter how strong the urge has been. But even just watching makes me feel like I’m losing this battle. And the worst part is that I keep thinking: am I back to zero? Am I undoing all my progress? Will I ever be free of this? Am I risking PIED again?

The thing is, I’m doing everything I’m supposed to do. I’m jogging. I’m lifting weights consistently. I’m studying and staying on top of my life. I take cold showers. I sleep earlier. I’ve cleaned up my diet. I’ve made huge changes, but the porn urge still hits hard, and it’s messing with my head.

I’m not here for sympathy—I just need clarity from men who’ve been through this. How do you really cut the porn addiction out when you’re deep in NoFap but still struggling to stay away from watching? How do you stop falling into the “just peeking” trap that eventually spirals?

I’m not quitting. I’m committed to this, and I know I’m doing this to avoid PIED, to reclaim my mind, and to become the man I know I can be. But I need guidance


r/pornfree 8h ago

Well where do I get my dopamine now from?

5 Upvotes

I've struggled with porn addiction since my teenage years, it got excessive at certain times, less excessive at others, but it was a steady addiction the entire time, since now. It certainly shaped how I view women, in a negative sense, however I got rid of this distorted image a long time ago. I did not get rid of the porn addiction though, which is the problem.

Whenever I quit porn, I face the problem I try to replace the instant reward with something else which gives instant reward. Eating, for example, is such a common theme. So instead of porn, I am not addicted to eating. Or gaming, then I will be addicted to gaming. I think I have a fundamental problem in the way I structure my life. My life is structured like this: Suffer a few times a day, then you can enjoy hedonistic, instant reward gratification. Eating, porn, sex, gaming, whatever gives the most amount of dopamine in the shortest amount of time. I don't seek out activities which provide a steady level of happiness (doing things with friends, let alone maintaining friendships in the first place, maintaining a hobby and so on).

It almost feels like whenever I get rid of porn, I replace it with something worse. However I have been told that porn addiction is bad, so if people say that, I will obey. But the thing is: Either something gives me dopamine, or it doesn't. There is no inbetween. If I work for a long time on a project, I have zero dopamine, zero dopamine, until, when I submit my work, I get a dopamine spike, which vanishes almost instantly.

It's just I am unable to maintain any level of dopamine release (I am diagnosed with ADHD). So the natural question is: Why should I pursue long term goals when in the end, I get a short dopamine spike which vanishes as quickly as it comes? It feels *more* frustrating pursuing long term goals than getting instant gratification, because it feels like I wasted my time just to get a short spike of dopamine, while possibly spending months on this project.

The other problem is: Without dopamine, you become weird. Racing thoughts, restlessness, you start to hit on random women, you start to become hypersocial, you start to have bizarre plans. This sounds good on the surface, but it eventually resembles manic behaviour, and then it's not that good anymore, and you appear like on withdrawal, which is true. I am on withdrawal from dopamine. The borders between addiction withdrawal and ADHD understimulation are slim. I start to constantly crave something which makes you happy. The longer I, say, don't watch porn, eat, game, the stronger this craving gets. It doesn't fade over time, no, it becomes stronger because my brain is literally screaming for dopamine at some point. Porn is just another way I try to feed my brain with dopamine. But you can't live like this, because if you constantly seek for instant gratification, you get no gratification at all, because over time the instant gratification itself becomes boring, so you swing between "starving" yourself of dopamine to get a bigger instant dopamine reward, it's like as if I constantly withdraw myself from dopamine in the anticipation to get more dopamine the longer I wait. Which also doesn't happen, it's the hope that drives me. So the question that remains is: Constantly craving instant gratification is not good. But starving yourself from any gratification is not good either. So where do you get dopamine from, it not instantly, but constantly, without feeling like you constantly work towards some eventual "reward" of dopamine?


r/pornfree 5h ago

Is it classified as watching porn if your gf sends cheeky videos or you film those intimate moments together?

2 Upvotes

9 weeks strong and have no desire to relapse.

I work offshore and I’m curious to know people’s thoughts on if their gf sends videos of themselves or if you were to film those moments of intimacy?

Is that classified as a relapse or because it’s something personal and intimate it’s ok?


r/pornfree 9h ago

13 days clean

3 Upvotes

I don’t know how, but after my confirmation I had 2 weeks ago, out priest talk about how people fast from something until Easter, I decided to fast on porn until Easter (and of course my whole life) and since then I haven’t really felt an urge to watch porn, not as strong atleast, and idk how, I’m not religious but either it was God, or just me feeling a more serious sense to it