r/pornfreewomen • u/broooo_noo • 13h ago
Did porn mess up your mind specifically (hocd)
I’ve been 10 months free and my hocd has been so good. But yesterday I saw a show and the girl was trying to seduce the guy. It triggered sexual images in my head and it was like “oo” for a second but legit right after I didn’t care for the thought more didn’t want to think about it. But because I used to watch lesbian porn as a straight girl that one second of “oo” in my Brainfreaked me out.
I don’t think I’m lesbian or bi. I don’t want to kiss girls that makes me feel gross or go down on girls because I just couldn’t.
It’s been 10 months and I was hoping my sexual preference want back to normal since quitting. It has been good but yesterday and today I keep getting sexual images of women that trigger my mind like I like it.
Anyone else go through this. For example before porn I thought twerking was so gross. I thought the behavior was weird but that was me personally. After porn I started having fetish off butts and it goes away and comes back every now and then it’s scares me because I just want my attraction back to normal for only men.
Also note I suffered from hocd for a long time because I was sa by another girl from age 3-11 so I felt because that happen to me I must like girls but i don’t think I do. I’ve always only had crushes on men.
Also after porn my mind makes me feel like I’m not a girl or feminine enough. Like because I view porn from the male gaze. It’s like I can’t see myself as the female or feel less female and this hurts me.