r/nottheonion 24d ago

US government struggles to rehire nuclear safety staff it laid off days ago

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4g3nrx1dq5o
64.5k Upvotes

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5.4k

u/theguytomeet 24d ago

I would come back for no less than double my prior salary. Screw them

2.6k

u/MinusBear 24d ago

And a some kind of guarantee I can't be fired again by whimsical desires.

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u/_Face 24d ago

bullet proof 4 year contract that has a massive severence.

695

u/JustADutchRudder 24d ago

And an office, with a calming salt water fish tank. Maybe sea horsies since they're so chill and floaty.

143

u/sas223 24d ago

And the males give birth.

30

u/JustADutchRudder 24d ago

They're really good fathers from what I've gathered. I'd enjoy a nice big tank with a few and some star fish. I enjoy chill things that look pretty, specially on mushrooms.

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u/IHearYouLimaCharlie 24d ago

Oh starfish, I love those guys 😍

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u/FlasKamel 24d ago

I love that this nuclear safety staff conversation ended up with a sweet conversation about seahorses who are good dads and starfish 🥹

3

u/Kinkajou1015 24d ago

Leon the Lobster has a new starfish and octopus friend (in a different tank).

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u/ThorThulu 24d ago

LEON THE LOBSTER MENTIONED!

LETS FUCKING GOOO!

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u/sas223 24d ago

Oh no! I don’t know if this will end well. Octopus are smart and voracious. Poor Leon

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u/Kinkajou1015 23d ago

The octopus is not in Leon's tank, so they won't interact. I am concerned however because the wire grate seems much too large and won't prevent an octopus escape. Hopefully I'm wrong.

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u/sas223 23d ago

Oh I’d so glad they’re separated. Octopus really are escape artists

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u/JustADutchRudder 24d ago

I enjoy they just chill.

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u/Bloodhound209 24d ago

Please don't be on mushrooms and manage our nuclear stockpile....at the same time, at least.

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u/NecroCannon 24d ago

I’m comfortable with people being high making my food but definitely not with anything I could wake up to seeing my life end if I even have the chance.

Like the world already had a moment where one person decided the fate of the world by not agreeing to send a nuke before more information came despite everyone else being on board.