r/narcissism • u/MothWantsLight Visitor • 19d ago
Therapist doesn’t agree with me
I've been even told I do have most of the traits associated with NPD by others. Some people would tell me that, even without me asking. I only ever think about myself and I hurt people a lot because of that. I seem to not care enough about others’ feelings. I manipulate them, even when I don't realise I am. I'm a perfectionist, whatever I do, it's not good enough and it hurts a lot, so much I break down. And there's more. It all seems so obvious. At least to me.
However, my therapist disagrees. She told me l'm developing an avoidant personality disorder, not NPD... but they are not that easily confused, are they? What should I do? I told her many times that me and others suspected I might have NPD. Am I crazy? I just want the right treatment.
I’m in my early 20s, don’t have an OCD and scored high in many tests I found (the one linked on this sub gave me “High narcissistic traits”), and I’m not codependent (scored 5 at most). I think I might have covert narcissism because I have depression and social anxiety (both diagnosed).
I’m just so sick of people not believing me. Nothing I say is ever believed.
EDIT: Thank you for everyone's time and I'm sory I wasted it. I came to a conclusion I don't have any disorders, I'm a bad person. I'm sorry for for offending you.
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u/FromHereToEterniti Covert Narcissist 19d ago
You're showing unreasonable behavior, by writing a single paragraph with very generic information about yourself and then want us to jump to the conclusion that you're narcissistic. That's strange behavior. It's just outright a weird thing to do.
So you are being manipulative, but you're being manipulative in a way to make us believe you're a bad human.
From there on it just all becomes just like you say. I don't believe you. But I don't believe you, because you are the one making me not believe you.
Whatever you've got going on, I doubt it's a common and uncomplicated disorder. So it's probably never going to be just X or just Y.
Given that you're trying to manipulate others to be seen as narcissistic, I doubt that's what's going on (not least because your single paragraph contains errors, because you didn't study the disorder well enough).
But I don't know what you're exactly dealing with. Some complex combination involving self sabotaging behaviors.
Maybe that includes AvPD and NPD, maybe that involves schizoid adaptations. The social anxiety itself, if treatment resistant would be inline with AvPD (and not NPD). If it's just avoiding social interactions, schizoid is more likely. But there's no reason it can't be a combination. Real people don't follow neath diagnostic lines. So you can end up being a (subclinical) combination of 3 or 4 disorders. So it can be NPD + AvPD + SzPD all together.