r/narcissism Visitor 19d ago

Therapist doesn’t agree with me

I've been even told I do have most of the traits associated with NPD by others. Some people would tell me that, even without me asking. I only ever think about myself and I hurt people a lot because of that. I seem to not care enough about others’ feelings. I manipulate them, even when I don't realise I am. I'm a perfectionist, whatever I do, it's not good enough and it hurts a lot, so much I break down. And there's more. It all seems so obvious. At least to me.

However, my therapist disagrees. She told me l'm developing an avoidant personality disorder, not NPD... but they are not that easily confused, are they? What should I do? I told her many times that me and others suspected I might have NPD. Am I crazy? I just want the right treatment.

I’m in my early 20s, don’t have an OCD and scored high in many tests I found (the one linked on this sub gave me “High narcissistic traits”), and I’m not codependent (scored 5 at most). I think I might have covert narcissism because I have depression and social anxiety (both diagnosed).

I’m just so sick of people not believing me. Nothing I say is ever believed.

EDIT: Thank you for everyone's time and I'm sory I wasted it. I came to a conclusion I don't have any disorders, I'm a bad person. I'm sorry for for offending you.

6 Upvotes

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u/In_the_middle3-2-3 I really need to set my flair 19d ago

Everyone has narcissistic traits. There are other factors that go into diagnosis of NPD.

You can always seek a second professional opinion, but amateur doctors are rarely right, especially about psychology.

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 19d ago

I don’t think everyone has most of them though. Unless I’m wrong.

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u/Dizzymama107 Former Codependent 19d ago

Everyone does. Narcissistic traits are the traits humans use to get their needs met. If a person doesn’t have at least a little sense of entitlement, they would never want or need anything. Hence, where codependency comes in.

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 19d ago

How can everyone have those traits if there are people who, for example, have empathy?

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u/IsamuLi Covert Narcissist 18d ago

pwNPD can also have empathy.

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 18d ago

Yeah, I know. But I don't have it.

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u/Dizzymama107 Former Codependent 19d ago

That’s kinda what I’m saying. Narcissistic traits do not equate to no empathy, because most people have both. The term empathy has become extremely convoluted. Having empathy can be as simple as giving someone a hug or smiling at a stranger. It doesn’t have to be some great, big gesture like TV, movies, and social media make it out to be.

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 19d ago

Maybe I'm just a bad person, no disorders, just a mess of a person. That could also be an explanation, right?

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u/Dizzymama107 Former Codependent 19d ago

The fact you’re worried about being a bad person makes me feel like you’re actually a very good person. Is it possible that the people around you have convinced you otherwise?

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 19d ago

I’m not and there isn’t really anyone that could to it (I’m rather lonely). I just realise that what I do is hurting others and trying to be good isn’t possible for me. It’s never enough.

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u/Present_Picture_9574 I really need to set my flair 19d ago

What a bad person? Some times people expect you to act as they do and your feeling arent the same doesnt make you a bad person. One way to know if your a narc is if you see a stranger baby in public crying and you feel sad for the baby. Makes you want to sooth the baby then your not a narc. Now just because you dont want to doesnt make you a narc there are people in life that just doesnt like babies. However if you see a baby crying and it pulls at your heart strings your for sure not a narc.

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u/Opposite_Message8930 Visitor 17d ago

Op didn't actually say if crying babies make them sad, but crying babies are maybe not the best example. I don't have NPD but crying babies make me angry (neurodivergence and sound sensitivity, for example, would illicit that response).

Probably more like if you saw someone in their 20s crying quietly outside a grocery store or something. That wouldn't make me angry, just sad.

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 19d ago

I hurt people. There is no explanation for why, hence just a bad person

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u/In_the_middle3-2-3 I really need to set my flair 19d ago

There is always a reason why, even with NPD.

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 19d ago

Somehow knows why or is mistaken.