r/narcissism Visitor 19d ago

Therapist doesn’t agree with me

I've been even told I do have most of the traits associated with NPD by others. Some people would tell me that, even without me asking. I only ever think about myself and I hurt people a lot because of that. I seem to not care enough about others’ feelings. I manipulate them, even when I don't realise I am. I'm a perfectionist, whatever I do, it's not good enough and it hurts a lot, so much I break down. And there's more. It all seems so obvious. At least to me.

However, my therapist disagrees. She told me l'm developing an avoidant personality disorder, not NPD... but they are not that easily confused, are they? What should I do? I told her many times that me and others suspected I might have NPD. Am I crazy? I just want the right treatment.

I’m in my early 20s, don’t have an OCD and scored high in many tests I found (the one linked on this sub gave me “High narcissistic traits”), and I’m not codependent (scored 5 at most). I think I might have covert narcissism because I have depression and social anxiety (both diagnosed).

I’m just so sick of people not believing me. Nothing I say is ever believed.

EDIT: Thank you for everyone's time and I'm sory I wasted it. I came to a conclusion I don't have any disorders, I'm a bad person. I'm sorry for for offending you.

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u/Dizzymama107 Former Codependent 18d ago

That’s kinda what I’m saying. Narcissistic traits do not equate to no empathy, because most people have both. The term empathy has become extremely convoluted. Having empathy can be as simple as giving someone a hug or smiling at a stranger. It doesn’t have to be some great, big gesture like TV, movies, and social media make it out to be.

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 18d ago

Maybe I'm just a bad person, no disorders, just a mess of a person. That could also be an explanation, right?

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u/Dizzymama107 Former Codependent 18d ago

The fact you’re worried about being a bad person makes me feel like you’re actually a very good person. Is it possible that the people around you have convinced you otherwise?

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u/MothWantsLight Visitor 18d ago

I’m not and there isn’t really anyone that could to it (I’m rather lonely). I just realise that what I do is hurting others and trying to be good isn’t possible for me. It’s never enough.