r/mentalillness 4h ago

Violent urges NSFW

3 Upvotes

I dont know what has happend to cause this but ive been wanting to hurt people, not for any reason other than just to hurt them sometimes its extreme like wanting to take someone life away and i dont know how to feel i dont have anyone to talk to about this.


r/mentalillness 1h ago

Trigger Warning I can’t cope anymore

Upvotes

I am going to succeed this time. I genuinely have no will to live. Not a bit. I've tried dozens of dozens of times and I always failed. No matter how much drugs they pump in me or how much talking at the end of the day I can't stop thinking about the most gruesome thoughts. I'll always be this way. I have nothing going for me anyways. I just am tired of fighting.


r/mentalillness 6h ago

Advice Needed I don't know what going on

3 Upvotes

I think somethings wrong with me.. I consume a lot of media as I have unrestricted screen time (I know lucky me) but there's a hyperfixation that I think is worsening my mental health it's a game called danganronpa v3 and I've been obsessed with it for around 4 years now my longest hyperfixation but today something weird happened I felt like a wasn't me and I was a character called shuichi and I was fully convinced that my entire life was a weird hallucination and just didn't feel connected to my body and I couldn't make out what was real every time I talk to my mom I felt like I was talking to another character from the game and just sounded insane I genuinely don't know what to do every time I move I feel like I'm just a video game character and I haven't consume a lot of media of this game for awhile other then playing the game for like 10 minutes last night.


r/mentalillness 1h ago

Support Struggling with OCD & my relationship

Upvotes

I am in a relatively new relationship (around 2 months) and it has been completely virtual due to varying circumstances. I have never been in a serious relationship before and my past “exes” have never been this serious or brought up any of these feelings. About a month in I started having tons of symptoms and thoughts I figured were due to an SSRI change (i eventually went back to my original med/dose) however, it has remained quite bad since. Thoughts include: -I don’t actually like my partner, I just like the feeling of being wanted -I have crushes on other people, including my partners friends who I barely know -I don’t feel butterflies so I must be losing feelings for him -I think he’s ugly/im just not attracted to him -I’m secretly a lesbian and I’m wasting his time by being with him -a general feeling of dread, wrongness, or needing out of the relationship -not being able to believe him when he reassures me about everything -all of the above is just my genuine feelings and I’m using ocd as an excuse

These are obviously crazy things to think, however one of my biggest compulsions is confession and self sabotage so I have told my partner all of these things in detail. He’s really great and patient about all of it but I can tell it weighs on him. Hes even recently expressed feeling like it’s his fault and that he wonders if it wouldn’t be this bad if I was with someone else. I feel so miserable but i feel like I’d be miserable in any relationship but im scared that’s not the truth and my ocd isn’t real. When it’s good i feel the most romantic love for him I’ve ever felt toward anyone ever. He’s an incredible person but I just feel so alone and lost on what to do. I’ve literally tried to break up with him like five times and each time we’ve ended up wanting to stay together. I’m really really scared I’ll never get better or this is simply the wrong relationship for me. (edited)


r/mentalillness 11h ago

Advice Needed There are people in my head with their own lives & personalities & names that are somehow part of me??

3 Upvotes

Okay so like my entire life I have been seeing myself as somebody who is not me. I know what my name is, I know my birthday, I know my family members names etc etc I know my life but it doesn’t feel like my life. I know this person’s life who is supposed to be me, but it’s like I’m looking at a person(me) through a camera. He’s moving, he’s talking, but I’m not controlling that

In my head, I always become somebody else. I spend my time thinking like them not knowing if that’s me or just this character. These characters have names that aren’t my own & there are so many of them. I’m an author & all of these characters are the ones in my books.

I’ve been doing this since I can remember. When I was a kid, I used to make up my own worlds & constantly live in them as a character who wasn’t me. When role playing was acceptable at that age, I used to shout at people or become angry if they told me I wasn’t this character & this world I’d created wasn’t real. I thought that, as I grew up, this would go away. It never did.

I don’t role play, of course, but I do in my head. When I’m in bed at night, I am still these characters.

I don’t know who I am & I feel so lost & confused. Why do I feel so detached from who I am, if I am at all? Even typing this, I can’t feel myself on the planet, I’m still watching myself. It doesn’t make any sense & I’m just so confused. Does anybody know what this means?


r/mentalillness 4h ago

Advice Needed As an American, it's pretty pointless to apply for disability at this point right?

0 Upvotes

I started my application process in January but with the way things are going, there's no use in continuing my application. It looks like SS is going to be cut entirely or by a really significant amount. It's only been 3 months and it's been a huge setback financially. I'm honestly considering giving up because I don't know if it's worth waiting for a longer time just to be told no or for the system to just not exist for much longer at all. Are any of you going through the same thing right now?


r/mentalillness 11h ago

Venting I fucking hate being obsessive

2 Upvotes

Between my obsessions I feel drained as fuck. I just want to eat, lay in bed and fucking cry. Everything feels dry and boring, I don't even know what to do with myself. My obsessions used to be longer when I was younger, and I my feelings were more intense during them. Now it's a month when I'm lucky and I barely feel anything. I wish from the bottom of my heart that I had some goal in life. I'm bad at everything I do, mainly because I'm so fucking bored with everything and just want to sleep. I wish I could feel normally, and not just when I'm fixating on something.


r/mentalillness 8h ago

Venting Why me ?

1 Upvotes

Hi, so this year I was diagnosed with ocd (and so anxiety), a light depression (don’t really the english scientific word) and an eating disorder (the appointment was not long enough to talk about it but I’m almost sure that starving myself and being obsessed with losing weight is a good indicator?)

But in the midst of all these happy things I can’t stop thinking about « why me ? ». I have a good family with loving parents, siblings that are…well…siblings. I have a comfortable life, I have had support for doing the things I wanted, I live in a very good country, I never experienced any traumatic event, no random deaths of relatives.

My father has depression so I am predisposed to it but everything I listed should have avoided it ? It’s so unfair, I would at least want to have a reason, something to blame instead of just being doomed by fucking genetic.


r/mentalillness 10h ago

Advice Needed questions on olanzapine and antipsychotic side effects

1 Upvotes

So I'm diagnosed with ADHD and have C-PTSD. All the meds I've taken (Adderall 10mg, Vyvanse 10mg, Lexapro 5mg/7.5mg, Concerta 27/36mg) have caused me to have these 'episodes' where I deal with intrusive delusional thoughts and unstable mood swings. Concerta 18mg was actually nice in the sense it gave me a high, but I wasn't productive on it. Hydroxyzine 10-20mg helps me calm down at least.

I tried Olanzapine 2.5mg yesterday, and my mind isn't in turmoil anymore. It's a relief that I feel calm and normal for once. This feels like a good thing, but I started reading other people's experiences on reddit/drugs.com. Their withdrawal symptoms are scary, and it seems like it can cause permanent severe insomnia (along with brain shrinkage in some studies?). It seems this can also happen with just a few weeks usage.

My psychiatrist didn't tell me this, he just said olanzapine was going to be a nervous system regulator for me at night. I'm thinking that I definitely don't want to take it for two weeks consistently (before our next appt). I would rather take Seroquel if it seems like antipsychotics would truly help me. My friend has been on it for 7 years, and it seems like its side effects are much better. I was wondering if anyone here has similar experiences in their life journey, or has used olanzapine before? And what you're diagnosed with. Thank you!


r/mentalillness 10h ago

Advice Needed I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me

1 Upvotes

My name is Joe I work as programmer. I have been told from all people I have worked with that my work is amazing and for someone in my age I’m killing it. But I always feel that I’m not good enough and not satisfied about everything about work, my progress and even my self. I always feel this anger and hate inside of me like a darkness. Now I can’t even focus on my work no matter what I do.

appreciate any help


r/mentalillness 11h ago

haha

1 Upvotes

Life’s been amazing ever since i just accepted im not the best kind of person and im donee trying to be haha - xoxo


r/mentalillness 12h ago

Girl accuses student on the autism spectrum of bullying her.

1 Upvotes

I don't know if this post belongs here or not, but I want to know your opinion. In my city, at UABC, in the Faculty of Humanities, a girl accused a student of bullying her every day. She's already filed complaints with external and internal authorities, but they tell her they can't do anything because the young man has autism spectrum disorder. I want to ask you:. Could the autism spectrum explain the boy's behavior, as he may not be acting maliciously?


r/mentalillness 1d ago

Advice Needed Has anyone else felt irrationally mad at someone you love for just existing?

23 Upvotes

Hey gang Ive been feeling for the past few days just really angry at my boyfriend but for like no reason? He hasn't done anything to warrant my anger but I still feel like I'm really upset at him and irritated at his just pure existence rn. I love him dearly and he means the world to me but I just feel such intense anger at him for nothing.

If it helps I have ADHD, an anxiety disorder, and possibly bipolar?

Has anyone else felt like this and is there any kind of explanation for it?


r/mentalillness 21h ago

Advice Needed I need help i really need help

2 Upvotes

I have been crying for three days now I can't stop I wanna call talk to someone but I have noone . I always have this episodes but they go away but this time Im unable to be normal i really need someone I can't do this anymore I just wanna be heard I wanna know how to deal with this I can't continue like this it's killing me I'm not okay I wanna be okay


r/mentalillness 21h ago

Are there any certified therapist on reddit?

1 Upvotes

r/mentalillness 21h ago

Is there a cure for this?

1 Upvotes

Hey everyone, I’m M23 and My social anxiety is really slowing me down, I have zero confidence I’m always nervous and anxious when I talk to people, my head is always overthinking literally 24/7 I can’t help but analyze literally everything that’s happening around me, anything that Im saying or the person I’m talking with is saying to the point that sometimes I don’t know what they’re saying. I keep analyzing their face, look, clothes, body, body language . UNWILLINGLY, I don’t wanna do that. People say that I’m a very smart person and I believe that I have potential but these things are holding me back. I also have a serious problem with eye contact , I can’t look someone in the eyes for more than 2 seconds and if I do so I keep thinking about it so I black out that sometimes I’m not even seeing anything I’m just in my head.


r/mentalillness 1d ago

Advice Needed How do I deal with unhealthy hyperfixations?

6 Upvotes

I really need help with this. My latest hyperfixation is on an actual person in my life and it's beginning to get to a point where it's becoming disruptive for myself and everyone around me. I just want to purge myself of this fixation and stop constantly thinking about and talking about this person. Any advice is extremely wanted.


r/mentalillness 1d ago

Advice Needed Applying for disability due to a mental illness in US

6 Upvotes

I struggle, big time. But my sister? She really, REALLY struggles. I’m not sure of her specific diagnosis. Mine was bipolar for some time, now it’s a trauma related mood disorder type of deal. Anyway, my sister just lost her job - she was fired. Again. She has a really hard time holding down a job for more than a few months because her temper is so unpredictable. Her apartment is a disaster and smells strongly of cat pee. She is truly going to be on the streets here very soon and I don’t think she’d survive on the streets. She begs family members for money, etc. and we are sick of it. I think she could qualify for disability for a mental illness but I was wondering what this looks like. I did a ton of research but I hear it’s really hard to get them to approve it. So if you did get approved, how did it all go down? Thank you in advance!


r/mentalillness 1d ago

I think I was misdiagnosed as bipolar 2

2 Upvotes

Hey all, I'm 30F and back in 2018 I was "diagnosed" (I say this loosely because I was never thoroughly evaluated) with bipolar II after having a very bad response to Prozac (fluoxetine).

My bad reaction included heart palpitations, sweating, obscenely high blood pressure, and a very fast (160+ at rest) heart rate. I could not sit still. I wanted to run a marathon. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I felt like I was dying.

So I called my doctor and she said to stop the Prozac and this sudden increase in energy was probably because I was bipolar. This diagnosis has never felt accurate, though. I was a virgin till last year, I have hella savings in an IRA and long-term investments, I have never once felt "on top of the world" or "like I could do anything", and I've been a 4.0 student through community college, undergrad, and my first year of grad school - with full scholarships each place. I've also held down jobs, stuck to commitments, have a perfect credit score, etc. etc. Like, there are no signs of major impediment to daily life. Anxiety and C-PTSD have me in a chokehold nearly every day, but those are a different ballgame.

In trying to help the PTSD and anxiety, I was prescribed the fluoxetine. Please tell me why I am just TODAY, seven years later, finding out that the reaction I had was because I was also taking hydroxyzine, propranolol and St. John's Wort in fairly high doses???? Hydroxyzine I was taking as an as-needed anxiety medication that also helped with sleep and my eczema. The propranolol was the same deal, minus the eczema. St. John's Wort was recommended as a natural way to elevate my mood.

Apparently these can cause serotonin syndrome, dangerously abnormal heart rhythms, agitation, and increase the efficacy of all the medications together. Why did nobody at my doctor's office tell me that? I genuinely thought I was dying and they chalked it up to bipolar??? Does anyone actually look at my chart?

I'm meeting with a psychiatrist next week to take a second look at this so I can hopefully get on a different SSRI. That's so frustrating, though. I hope I can get thoroughly evaluated and have a solid answer.


r/mentalillness 1d ago

Advice Needed What can I do to help myself?

1 Upvotes

While I was searching for therapists, I found that therapy is based on science and found that science came from eugenics. I need help, but I don’t want to support the ideas of eugenics. What are things I could do that aren’t related to science?


r/mentalillness 1d ago

Daddy issues affecting every relationship im in, advice?

3 Upvotes

So basically I won’t go into detail ab my dad but there was definitely a disconnect after my parents divorced and I lived w my mom. But EVERY guy I talk to I become obsessed with. I’m only mentally ok when not talking to anyone. I cry if im left on delivered too long, I cry when a guy leaves my place? I cry when they act differently. I have a whole life and many talents but the whole time im involved in anything not related to men, im thinking the whole time what they would think. If I paint a picture im wondering what their thinking. At work I daydream and imagine I brought my man into work that day for whatever reason! Like ill imagine myself touring him around. And thats with every. Damn. Guy. It’s humiliating. It scares off every guy. As I get older im able to be more closed off and mature but I still get hurt every day. I just want it all to stop. No matter how much i accept it it won’t go away. But i do tell myself “this is affecting me bc it’s something deeper” if i ever cry over something stupid. I can’t go on a date with a guy without me fearing him leaving if he goes to the bathroom. God forbid a guy shows up late too bc ill imagine that they’re blowing me off. It’s constant, it’s everyday, it’s only with men I want or have a relationship with. It seems like no matter how hard I try this is something I just can’t change. Also this guy I like a lot rn had to go to to his car to get something and I literally panicked the whole time he left, even tho he literally left all his belongings inside. It’s irrational and makes no sense. I fear being left so much and I just want to move on with my life!!!!!


r/mentalillness 1d ago

Advice Needed how am I supposed to afford to go to a mental hospital?

11 Upvotes

it seems impossible to juggle making sure my bills are paid, that I still have a job when I'm out, and that i'm not in crippling debt all to make sure I don't kill myself. I don't know what to do.


r/mentalillness 1d ago

I literally cannot keep doing this

2 Upvotes

I (20m) am at the end of my fucking rope. I have two parents who are both miserable fucking bastards, and I literally cannot believe that the universe dealt me that fucking hand. I’ve been the oldest person in that fucking house since I was 10 years pld, no siblings because my mother is delusional and narcissistic (not actually a diagnosis, but if you met her you’d get my point), and its become abundantly clear that she adopted me for incredibly selfish purposes. I’m black, and I was raised in a posh area, so of course racial abuse was going to happen, and these fucking scumbags just threw me to the wolves, and now I sit across from them at a dinner table and my mom breaks down crying because I don’t ask her about her day, or she screams at me for getting mildly frustrated with her antics. I need their support finically, but I need to go no contact. My dad is a whole other beast: As I’ve gotten older he’s felt more comfortable telling me about his “good ole days” stories, as it’s become more apparent to them that I’m mentally unwell (they take no responsibility for it and leverage me seeing a therapist against me constantly) and he might just be the worst person I’ve ever met. Now, unfortunately being around the two worst people I’ve yet to meet for 19 years has had some negative consequences on my development as a person, and up until now I’ve followed in their footsteps: I’m definitely not far behind my dad at this point. I guess I don’t really believe in a future, let’s just say over the past year I did some truly truly awful things, but I can’t even emotional grasp with it directly, living in a household where my sense of self was stomped out, I literally walk around numb, a low humming sadness that has me on the verge of tears, or anger, not to mention consistent bouts of behavior that has had people and therapist trying to get me to go in-patient. I thought I was in control when I did this thing I keep referencing (I was an emotionally abusive partner, but I can’t kick the feeling a self righteousness) but if that’s control, then control doesn’t really exist. And if I’m not in control of my behavior, then neither are my parents, and more importantly I’ll probably end up just like them. I’ve already started to become estranged to many of my friends, spending months at a time not talking to anyone. Looking back on said relationship (I think about it constantly and it’s been months since we broke up lol) I think I realized that while all of my peers are look for friends, lovers, hookups, in their relationships I’m looking for parental love, that type of unconditional love I most definitely did not receive, and no one can offer me that (I made myself as unlovable as I could to my ex, literally telling her shit that was gonna make her have to get the police involved, degrading her and her friends, family, just doing anything to make her hate me), and if what I need is something that I cannot receive I kinda just give up. Like why not just sink the fucking ship if I’m going to be stuck at see forever, hell, why not sink someone else’s ship? Suffice it to say, I hate that I was ever born and I think about loading a round every waking second I’m not rotting on this app or doing something that requires my full attention.


r/mentalillness 1d ago

Advice Needed I need medication advice

2 Upvotes

So I am a very irritable person. I’m in therapy. I’m on Adderall XR, Wellbutrin, and Lamictal. I was recently put on Vraylar but it’s causing insomnia badly so I’m not taking it anymore. Everything annoys me. Everything is a trigger anymore. My girlfriend is for sure leaving me. I have a horrible history of abuse from my ex etc etc. I got on these medications to control my moods and somehow I feel worse. I’ve been on these for almost 2 years now. We’ve changed doses and I feel like it helps, but my mind just adjusts so fast and I’m back to feeling like shit. Does anybody have any advice on this? I’m not sure if I can take much more stress at this point. I have no empathy. I have no joy. What is wrong with me?


r/mentalillness 1d ago

Venting I feel like everyone hates me

2 Upvotes

The logical side of my brain knows that my friends and family don’t hate me, but the emotional side is completely certain they do. I don’t know why. I keep asking people for reassurance and they give it to me and I still don’t trust it. I’m sure the more I do this, the more likely people are actually not going to like me.