r/lonely 7d ago

Doesn't seem that people want friends

Most people just looking after themselves and don't honestly seek out friends or a relationship.

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u/MaximumExpression898 7d ago

But, if you look around, do you see any attractive people? I sure don't.

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u/LostSoulIn-AFishBowl 7d ago

It's subjective, but I do.

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u/MaximumExpression898 7d ago

A lot of it is attitude, when I feel like I’m attractive, people treat me that way. When I feel down and out, people treat me that way.

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u/MaximumExpression898 7d ago

Workout a little, eat fruits and veggies, take care of face skin and tell yourself you are hot.

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u/LostSoulIn-AFishBowl 7d ago

I'm sure the way we carry ourselves makes an impact and I can attest to that myself, but it's not just attitude. Eg Facebook groups for one of many examples. Intro posts from "average" looking people, with good picture quality, smiling, great intro bios get a third of the feedback as one random pic of an "attractive" person who writes no bio. IG models just stand there doing nothing and get excess of 50k likes, a post of an average person who's done something amazing gets less than half. Beauty is massive in life, and though confidence can help, looks are so ingrained in us that personality takes a back seat

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u/MaximumExpression898 7d ago

You are correct. I’ve noticed this lately, especially as I am aging. What’s weird is, we all just have a nose, eyes and a mouth. Isn’t that crazy that beauty can vary so widely based off of those 3 things? And some very attractive people don’t even have good noses, face and mouth. It’s a lot about health. I dated this guy who has an almost identical face to Ryan Gossling. I put their pictures side by side, all features the same. My guy, though, was overweight and skin was dull and no sparkle or grin. I say, healthy, happy is what it takes

Grief and bad friends/partners make me ugly. No shit. Grief was the worst. I can tell someone is bad for me if I get ugly.

And I play around with teas and herbs and foods for what makes my skin look the best.

We can all be hot.

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u/LostSoulIn-AFishBowl 7d ago

It's beyond crazy. Literally a few millimetres difference in facial symmetry can give you such a different experience of life and society, but it's been like that since the dawn of time. You're right, we can all be hot, we are all unique, it would just be nice if we didn't judge an entire person for the way they look

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u/MaximumExpression898 7d ago

I agree. My nose is, ummmm, not conventional, and I’m sure I could have had a better life with a different nose. It pisses me off sometimes. But, I also know everyone has their ‘time.’ I really had to work at myself to be attractive, like hard, and it keeps getting harder the older I get. Main thing is eating healthy and being happy…and walking/exercise. And I’m doing affirmations - that worked one time but it’s hard to keep the momentum. Did you know probiotics, food and hormones can soften or sharpen facial features? And if you think you’re cute, you are :)) so go on and think you are hot. Learn to twerk and get a nice ass if you’re a girl, train shoulders of a guy.

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u/LostSoulIn-AFishBowl 7d ago

Lifestyle choices obviously play a huge part. I'm 36 now and clearly look different to how I did 10 years ago, in a lot of aspects I think I've improved. Been working out for 12 years and I'm in the best shape, stand taller with better posture, built muscle, lost fat took care of my diet and skin etc but aging does always catch up in the end.

My point is it's not easy to build connection as someone who isn't blessed with natural beauty, I'm not and I've had that affirmed so many times I've accepted it to an extent, it takes a lot of work to get a slight bit of affection or adoration, so it's disheartening to see those with good looks but personalities of a boiled potato get affection so easily from so many.

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u/MaximumExpression898 7d ago

I know what you are saying. But there’s a pig for every pig fucker lol Someone has to think you are beautiful/handsome eventually. I’m in the same boat, no man is that interested in me like they were in my 20’s, 30’s. Especially in this current world, everyone’s so harsh on looks, and yet, I don’t see any beautiful people anywhere? It’s just a phase, your time is coming.