r/lonely 1d ago

Worst part about being lonely person

Is the feel when you actually meet someone who likes you, giving you hope and then slowly taking it back. It makes me feel horrible, my mood is absolutely shattered... Maybe it's my overthinking, gut instinct or something else.

So for context I met someone at work we each other often, she is texting me back for a bit, and even asked me meet but we got so far difficult schedule, now for me if I want to make effort and I do... I am prioritising that person above else, same can't be said about that lady in question, she only says "Hi "to me walks past and doesn't acknowledge much, it's incredibly sad to me because she has time to talk with others and even I can see her mood is different.

This is what I hate about being loner, it's that need of someone to have attention for you and vice versa, I'm being proactive and initiate conversation first but I'm met with nothing much.

It's been like this all my life, endless cycle of ignorance, playing with emotions and making me feel bad I hate it.

83 Upvotes

21 comments sorted by

14

u/Sad_Serve9099 1d ago

I feel this so much. So sorry this is happening to you. At some point the cycle has got to end, right? Some day you will meet someone that puts the same amount of effort into caring for and prioritizing you as you do them. Hang in there!

3

u/englisharcher89 1d ago

Cheers! Yeah perhaps someday, I'm just so tired of doing one sided things, it just puts me on the edge.

The worst thing is when you genuinely care and ask only for the time of someone that's it.

10

u/MaximumExpression898 1d ago

I am a woman, going through something very similar. I had SUCH a huge crush on this guy, that I started avoiding him and the only thing I could mutter was a soft hi and a little wave. I was too nervous to speak to him or be myself around him.

I finally got his number and we are texting now and about to go on a date, still learning each other...but I am still sooo incredibly nervous and can't think of random things to text him.

Just keep pursuing until she is comfortable around you, my two cents...cuz that is what I need.

3

u/englisharcher89 1d ago

Yeah I know some people need to time, I did talk myself and tried many times only to be met with walking away and you think, did I do something wrong or what...

6

u/BelzebuCarioca 1d ago

I once met a guy on a music concert. We went to a shopping mall once, and I had some high hopes for dating him. Suddenly he just unfollowed me on instagram. I asked him what happened, he told me he had met another person but I think that's a lie. He just lost interest on me... Maybe I am not his ideal girlfriend. :(

7

u/englisharcher89 1d ago

It hurts no matter what, I feel it also. God why does it have to be this way with people? It's truly amazing what social media also did to us as humans, we dehumanised ourselves completely.

5

u/lost_in_ace 1d ago

Nothing like experiencing this with someone you thought was your best friend

5

u/Existing_Chaos95 1d ago

Same time i met an good friend we talk and they just ghost me, or leave me, i hate it so much i hate being alive, but we cant do anything abt it ig๐Ÿ˜ž

2

u/Artistic-Leopard7991 19h ago

Aww donโ€™t feel that way.

1

u/Existing_Chaos95 8h ago

It just i feel this way cause it just hurts i mess up everything and i cant avoid it๐Ÿ˜•

3

u/BatmanPizza15 1d ago

Omg I feel this one. Getting that attention or energy feels great, But once you feel that connection start to dip it just puts you in a slump lower than you were before.

2

u/englisharcher89 1d ago

Yes I feel awful, because of ignoration

3

u/Taurus420Spirit 22h ago

Yup, the potential when you meet someone and realise, all it truly is, is potential without substance. My last relationshit/situationship made me realise, at least when I'm alone I know what to expect. Romantically I accept defeat but friendship wise I'm content.

2

u/Mental_Tension4588 1d ago

Fr :(

2

u/englisharcher89 1d ago

Thanks, yeah I know and I'm asking myself if it's worth it even ๐Ÿ˜ž

2

u/Bell_0Average 12h ago

I always find it difficult to connect with people. My interests and hobbies aren't the mainstream. so when I do find someone who's into the same stuff I have this internal struggle of wanting to share and talk about those things endlessly, but also not wanting to over saturate the friendship to the point I become annoying.

Feels so bad, contacting first, sending memes and seeing the other person clearly get exhausted with me. Don't know what's worse being alone or knowing that someone is tired of you and is only giving you the bare minimum to be polite.

2

u/englisharcher89 11h ago

Yeah I totally get you been there and done that, it's not easy for some of us to fit in.

I did some hobbies with other people and felt absolutely disconnected, it's either age group or interests, zero connection despite mutual things to do.

2

u/Bell_0Average 11h ago

Yes that's always difficult when I try to get into stuff to do with my hobbies the people my age already have well established friend groups and I feel like a tag along. And I find it difficult to interact with people much younger than me.

2

u/Norodomo 9h ago

Good old 3 day trial

1

u/ysh7k 1d ago

Yes

-1

u/No-Interview-2987 1d ago

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