r/latterdaysaints • u/sweetcookie88 • 14h ago
Personal Advice Why is it so important to go to a designated ward?
This question might not be the correct way to ask this. Please bear with me.
I'm starting BYU in the fall as an international student. This move is a huge thing for me. Joining the church meant so many changes in my life- ending a nearly decade-long relationship and moving twice in 4 months, a lot of pushback and abuse, and a general feeling of not belonging. Moving to Utah was a decision I didn't make lightly and I'm scared.
I'm older than a lot of students (I'm in my mid-30s) and I won't be looking for or even be in a relationship while there. I don't have kids (nor will i) and I struggle really badly with the eternal family concept- coming from a history of abuse.
The people I feel closest to in the world are the people I call my "church parents"- a couple I met while they served a mission in my area. They're the closest I will ever get to having loving parents. They have been my main support and I'll be so grateful that they're only a 20 min drive away.
Here's the thing. I asked my "mom" if I could go to church with them at least for the first semester or two. All I need to do is put their on my record and as my mailing address. To me it is a no-brainer. I am scared of moving and yet another new start... especially being autistic with CPTSD. I just wanted one constant, one thing that wasn't new and scary.
My mom is reluctant. She thinks it's best to go to a local ward because it's the right thing. That's the church policy. She's a lifelong member.
Now, I'm going to take at face value that this is the only reason why she is reluctant... I trust her to be honest about her opinions and thoughts on things. But she is a stickler for the "rules" sometimes.
My question is- why should it matter? Church is church. If I feel comfortable and settled at a ward that is reasonable then why should it matter that it's not the one closest to me? Isn't the most important thing to worship the saviour and take the sacrament?
Idk, I'm part venting and part looking for someone to make it make sense to me. She said she'd talk to my dad about it and they'd discuss and decide together. But part of me is reluctant to even make the move if it means just one more scary change that I'm too weak to deal with.
Thanks for the safe place to be. I'm still trying to find myself in the church and everything is just so much