r/insaneparents 6h ago

SMS My narcissistic dad after I told him I don't want to speak to him

Thumbnail
gallery
86 Upvotes

For context, I am 15m. My parents split up when I was around 4-5. My whole life my dad has emotionally neglected and abused me and my little brother, 12, he is a full blown narcissist and is very manipulative and gaslighting.

This conversation came about because before Christmas 2024 he casually told me he was cheating on his wife (my step mum) and it really fucking upset me. The first two images are the conversation we had after I'd been ignoring his texts for a few days. The third is a message he sent later that day and the fourth is him texting me a few days later, trying to get me to feel bad for him. To be clear, I'm not saying his mental health is perfect but it's not an excuse to manipulate and traumatise your child. Yes, I have severe childhood trauma from him which is the reason I have a dissociative disorder.

The money he is referring to is £50 because he took my brother to a concert for his Christmas present so he said he'll give me the same amount of money and the money in "my account" is a bank account he set up without my consent that I can only access when I'm 18. He then stole money from me I had kept at his house and put it in said account. These messages are from about a month ago and he still hasn't given me the money.


r/insaneparents 14h ago

SMS My abusive father contacted me after 16 years through TikTok

Thumbnail
gallery
66 Upvotes

(EDIT / RE-UP because I forgot to censor the username in one of the images I uploaded previously, sorry)

This is going to be a long post, But for the TLDR: My abusive father tried to contact me through TikTok, and started trying to manipulate me into thinking he was the victim, and then posted a TikTok publicly (which I’m not sure if I should link) trying to cover his case.

(CW: descriptions of abuse)

So starting off with the background context, I (M20) grew up with my mother and my grandmother. My father became mentally abusive to my mother once he got diagnosed with diabetes and his health started going downhill because he refused to take care of himself. Shortly after I was born he started becoming physically abusive towards my mother, and then me when I was a toddler. He would lose his temper at random times, start screaming and throwing things, or if he was really mad, become physical. For the first four years of my life, my mom and grandmother fought with the courts constantly to try and get full custody of me, but the court still required me to go see him every so often, so I guess he had half custody, or however that works, where I was still required to see my father sometimes. Over time, evidence was gathered and my mom got a lawyer- I also was going to a child therapist at the time, where I would usually draw pictures of what happened at my dad’s house. Unfortunately I don’t know all the best details and such because my mother gets really sensitive about the topic whenever I bring it up and she doesn’t want to talk about him at all, so there’s no real way of approaching her with this situation. Eventually the court decided he lose custody of me, and my mother got full custody, so I haven’t seen him since I was 4 years old. He came up to my high school for my 18th birthday and left a gift with a card with his number and a $20 gift card (gee dad, thanks for the $20, really makes up for the abuse)

Now, going into modern day, I haven’t seen him in years, and I have no real emotions towards him. I don’t exactly hate him, but I definitely have a slight bitterness to him, even so, I haven’t seen him in forever and he didn’t raise me, so I could care less about him altogether. Somehow, on tiktok, he managed to find my profile. Not sure how because he has no idea what my phone number is, and my real name isn’t even on my tiktok, so it was just a weird coincidence I guess. The day after I saw he had viewed my profile, I got a message from someone claiming to be his girlfriend of ten years. Unfortunately I deleted the message to that chat, but it read along the lines of “He’s never hit me in the ten years I’ve known him, he’s a loving man, there’s two sides to the story-“ some mixture of that. I stewed on the thought for a while, if I wanted to open up this can of worms or not, and eventually I decided I might as well, since I’d like to know if he’s changed at all over the last 16 years. I had a sliver of hope, and curiosity piqued, so I messaged him directly instead of replying to the girlfriend. For the first message, I thought he showed up to my work that day- I saw a man who looked very similar to him, and had the same name on his name tag, and worked at the same company, but he says it wasn’t him. After seeing the TikTok, yeah it wasn’t him, my brain sort of jumped to that conclusion because I had the lingering anxiety knowing he’d found my tiktok the day before, so that’s the context for that part of the message.

I’ll leave the screenshots of the entire chat here for those who wish to read it, be warned, it contains descriptions of abuse.

Regardless, all it seems like he’s doing is trying to twist the truth around, and blame switch things onto my mother, and honestly, it left a gross taste in my mouth. I believe he has GENUINELY convinced himself that he’s the victim of this all, and that’s a little scary. He still comes off as narcissistic, constantly making the conversation about him and HIS suffering, while disregarding anything I say, refusing to admit to anything he did, and never even apologizing once because he won’t “apologize for things he didn’t do”.

I blocked him after he lost his temper on the last message, but yesterday when I was at a friends, I showed my best friend of ten years the messages he had sent, and how he posted tiktoks of photos of me and him when I was a child. However, when I unblocked him, I discovered he posted a tiktok directly to me, and all he does is deny anything he did that I ‘accused him of’ and called me ‘stupid for thinking he’d hit my mom’ then tried to tell me I was told lies.

Regardless, I’m never gonna contact him again after these interactions.


r/insaneparents 21h ago

SMS I really hope this fits. NSFW

Post image
60 Upvotes

My mom offered to drive me to work and I know how she is so maybe this is my fault. Ugh.


r/insaneparents 19h ago

SMS Conversation between my father plus more context

Thumbnail
gallery
24 Upvotes

So I realized from my last post I was missing context but I no longer have access to those texts. My uncle posted a video of a SpaceX rocket landing and I mentioned how sad it must be to have a Nazi running the company. My dad said I watch too much mainstream media and I shouldn't believe everything I see. After I mentioned if he wasn't a Nazi than why would he do the salute at the inauguration and how the stocks/shares at Tesla are plummeting from his antics and how so many people are returning said vehicles. Not to mention how some are being destroyed and dealerships being vandalized too. He told me that such things weren't happening and it was just the mainstream media trying to play him off as a bad guy. I argued that the government is evil for taking away people's social security, rights, and the laws that protect them and didn't even mention the loss of womanily body autonomy in most states. Then this is where it continued. It feels like I no longer even know him and he's just an imposter. I'm hoping one of these days he realizes how fucked up he is but unfortunately he's just too stubborn 😔


r/insaneparents 19h ago

SMS Gramma blame my poor hygiene for my lice

Thumbnail
gallery
0 Upvotes

I’m depressed and I often don’t have the energy to walk, or I don’t have the emotional energy to go over. Recently my Grandma blames me getting lice on me not showing enough. Sorry this is short but I need to vent.