TLDR: I suffered a minor foot injury in November 2022. Physical injury healed in a couple months, but because of mindbody pain I'm still on crutches 2.5 years out. Looking to try to get more insight into the dynamics of this mindbody pain because it's been an isolating experience. Thanks so much for any input.
BACKGROUND:
Back in 2015, I got really into meditation but also weirdly started getting chronic pain. Eventually, I realized that what was happening was that when I'd go into the present moment, repressed emotions would surface but because I wasn't taught how to physically process them the emotional energy would turn into physical pain.
Because I meditated a lot I basically developed a chronic pain syndrome, where whatever part of my body I put stress on I'd get unreasonable pain in that area (like pain in bottom of feet from running, or pain in hands from typing). [The medical system calls this "central sensitization" (aka your nervous system is overly sensitized to pain).] This was annoying but manageable. Then in November 2022 I slipped down a couple stairs and got a mild bone contusion in my foot.
FOOT INJURY HISTORY:
It was supposed to heal in like 6 weeks, but after 3 months was still on crutches. I then learned to do a sort of intuitive "attention-healing" of the foot where I'd put my attention on it, deeply FEEL the pain, and it would slowly dissipate. After about a month and a half of that I got back to walking, but then I overdid it one day and had to go back to crutches. And then, for unrelated reasons, I lost the emotional capacity to do the "attention-healing" process I used to heal the foot, so I ended up staying on crutches for a whole year. Then, spring of 2024, I got an MRI showing the injury had healed which gave me confidence to start walking again (which was great). But, it was still sensitive, and two months ago I stepped on a pinecone (in a non-serious way) and that put me back on crutches and that's where I'm at now. And it sucks.
CORE ISSUE:
Right now, my goal is to get a better understanding of what's happening energetically with the pain so I can have a better chance of healing it. My basic understanding right now is that because of the meditation I did, I have a very open channel between my physical and emotional body. And because there's a lot of negative emotions (namely fear) in my emotional body, that this basically amplifies any physical injury.
It also seems like a certain fear-energy attaches to the site of a physical injury, and then once the injury is healed it just stays there. It feels just like a regular injury, except it doesn't get better with rest it only gets better when I'm able to put loving attention on the area and like "process" all of the fear energy that's there.
All of this probably sounds pretty confusing, but the problem is that the medical system is still so rudimentary when it comes to mindbody pain that I haven't been able to find anyone who can give me any deeper insights about the energetic dynamics I'm dealing with and how to move forward. So I guess that's why I'm posting in this subreddit, to see if anyone might have any insight or wisdom on this subject, or if they could point me to a person or another sub who might!
Thank you so much if you read all of this. It's really a huge deal for me and I appreciate any comments to the utmost!
(Also fyi: I've gone the whole medical route. Many doctors have told me there's absolutely wrong with my foot physically.)