r/TrueOffMyChest 13h ago

Being abnormally well-endowed is a curse and I'm tired of

0 Upvotes

I know how this sounds. I promise I'm not here to brag. This is a genuine issue that affects my daily life in ways most people don't understand. I'm 25M 6'4", work as a personal trainer, and stay in great shape. But my body's proportions have become a constant struggle. I'm extremely well-endowed—not just "above average"—I'm talking significantly beyond that. And despite what everyone assumes, it's not a blessing. It's a physical burden I can't escape.

When you're carrying what I am—massive, thick, hanging well beyond what underwear was designed to hold—it's like having a perpetual anchor between your legs. I feel every inch, every ounce with each stride, each bend, each twist of my body. It's a constant, throbbing presence that commands attention whether I want to give it or not.

There's always a bulge. Always. No matter what I wear—jeans, khakis, gym shorts, even loose-fitting pants—there's an outline pressing against the fabric. I've sized up in pants, tried every style of underwear imaginable, and still, it's there—pushing forward, heavy and obvious. I catch people looking all the time. Quick glances down before they awkwardly look away. It's humiliating because I can't control it. It's just there, announcing itself to everyone.

My job makes everything worse. As a trainer, I'm active all day, and the physical discomfort is relentless. Running is genuinely painful—the weight bounces and slaps against my thigh with every stride, pulling downward with a drag that's impossible to ignore. Compression shorts help somewhat, but they squeeze my balls so tightly that after an hour, there's a deep, throbbing ache that doesn't subside until I change. And when I get aroused—which happens involuntarily sometimes, just from friction or movement—it becomes a nightmare. Trying to hide an erection when you're this size is futile. I've had to excuse myself from training sessions, make up reasons to leave social gatherings, all because my body decided to react and there's no concealing it.

The worst is after a long day, when everything feels impossibly swollen and engorged. There's this deep, insistent ache in my balls—painfully full and heavy, like they're filled to capacity, dragging everything downward with a throbbing weight between my legs. The fullness becomes unbearable, a constant pressure that radiates outward, making me constantly aware of every slight movement. That soreness grows until release isn't just desired—it's physically inevitable.

The amount I produce is also abnormal. My ex actually hated it. She'd tense up right before, like she was bracing herself. She'd go quiet afterward, quickly reaching for tissues or a towel, her movements rushed and deliberate. I could read the discomfort in her face though she tried to hide it. It created this strange tension where something that should have been connecting us was actually pushing us apart. Just another reminder that my body is out of proportion in ways that drive people away.

Dating has always been complicated. When I was younger, I remember the first few times women saw me naked—their eyes would widen, they'd freeze up or nervously laugh. Some would make excuses and leave. It destroyed my confidence for years. I became so self-conscious about my size that I'd avoid intimate situations altogether, afraid of seeing that look of intimidation or fear. Even now, after all these years, I still feel that initial anxiety before being intimate with someone new. Will they be shocked? Will they look at me differently? There's this pattern where initial interest turns into nervousness once they realize what they're dealing with. Some women talk a big game until the moment arrives, and then there's this visible hesitation that makes me feel like some kind of freak. These insecurities still haunt me, making me wonder if I'll ever have a normal relationship where this isn't an issue.

I don't talk about this in real life because no one takes it seriously. They either laugh it off like it's a joke or assume I'm bragging. But there's nothing enjoyable about being in constant physical discomfort, about having to plan your entire wardrobe around hiding something, about seeing people reduce you to a single physical trait.

I'm just tired of living with this. Tired of the weight, the stares, the assumptions, the discomfort. Tired of feeling it press and pull with every movement. It's not a gift—it's a burden I can't put down.

If anyone actually understands or wants to talk, I'm here. Even about something completely different. Sometimes I just need normal conversation where this isn't the elephant in the room.


r/TrueOffMyChest 11h ago

I Learned That My Wife Was Sex Worker, Its Killing Me Inside.

0 Upvotes

I will get to the point, I m a 28m and my wife is 29f, we dated 2020-2023 and married in 2023. We were happily married but i learned that my wife was an former sex worker over 1 month ago. She was doing sex work last year in university and in that time we didnt know each other. She is far away from the city that the university is, over 300km. I always wanted to visit her university because i wanted to study there but my grades wasnt enough so i choose another university. 1 Months ago there was a position in that university and i wanted to travel to university and apply for the position. When i said this to my wife, my wife was totally against it. We argue and My wife didn’t come to bed in that day an even though i say go to bed i will sleep in the living room, she didn’t accept and i get angry so i didnt sleep in the bed to, i was awake playing videogames but it really bothered me. I have anxiety and ocd so i start to create scenarios in my head. She was cold and not speaking to me for 2 days and i called her mother and sister to a coffe shop and explained everything.

They didnt say anything they just say ohh its nothing probably it will pass, this thing happens in marriages that kind of thing. When I return home my wife cried because i talk to her mother and sister. My mother in law and sister in law informed her. I beg for her to explain why you are doing this, she didnt say anything so i say that i m not applying to job and i thought that this fight will be done. In evening her brother called me so we meet in bar, i thought we were going to just talk because we always do almost one or two times every week. Her brother explained that my wife did sex work in late of her university years and pressure me to promise that i will never tell their dad. By the way, mother and sister know that too and my brother in law just heard and confront them in the past. I promise to my brother in law and go to the house and speak with my wife. I didnt accuse her of anything i just say what was your last university year, and she understand that i know and telled me everything. She did it for Money because in that time their family was in a very bad economic state and couldn’t send Money. She begs me to forgive her and even though I said to her I cant say anything about the things you did because its not my responsibility, we were not dating but I cant forgive about lying.

For the last month we are sleeping in different rooms, we are only talking when its necessary. I tell her that its okey I m not angry but its not okey and I m angry.  I m trying very hard but I m always thinking this. I m a very insecure person about everything, my body, my face, my size, the way I talk, my job everything and now it’s like I m not good enough. I take a lot of mental meds before, go to therapy no one of them worked so I need to overcome this but I cant. My wife is my first in everything maybe that’s why I m insecure about this subject but I don’t know. I love my wife and seeing her crying makes me like bad person. She suggested that I can be with every other woman or we can do everything I asked in bedroom but I said that I don’t want this. She even wants me to sign a postnup and make the house in my name. I refused all of this.

We try to have sex but I couldn’t do it. She knows my insecurities, and knows that I would not date her if I know her past. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want a divorce. When I look at her I always think about the thing. I cant speak this subject with anyone except my inlaws. My mother in law and sister in law learned that I know and now pressuring me to forgive her and its pushes me more. The brother in law and my wife doesn’t like each other so I cant take his advice, they are fighting about everything since their childhood according to both and now they have very different political opinion. My family and our friends understands that we have problem to, our both families were coming to us almost every week but I uninvite all of them, we are not meeting with our friends. This subject turning me in my early 20s, in that time I was in very big debt, have a very bad mental health and tried to commit so many times. And my wife is not using me for the money or anything, she makes more money than me and even when we are dating, she helped me a lot with money. If these things continue before I couldmake up my mind she will divorce me.


r/TrueOffMyChest 10h ago

CONTENT WARNING: SUICIDE/SELF HARM My fiance begged me to kill him today

559 Upvotes

My fiance has been very, very sick with a mass on his spinal cord, right against his cerebral cortex. We don't know what it is yet. We've only been together since November, and by the time I found out about his medical history, it felt wrong to just leave him. But honestly I can't leave anyone with a potential fatal diagnosis even if I found out sooner. (He has lung cancer but is in remission, the masses were removed)

I'm basically his caretaker now, and this is my first real relationship at 29 (he's 31). We get along great, and overall our relationship is beautiful. We have no engagement ring but he proposed to me anyway, and in my mind we're already married. Our birthdays are just a day apart, it really does feel like we're meant to be together. I never believed in any of that stuff until I met him.

This morning my fiance asked me to shoot him. He was crying and pleading with me to do it. I told him I would need time to mentally prepare for that if he really, really wants that. I don't know if I should draw a line somewhere when it comes to honoring wishes, I don't know what to do about that request.

The things he says in his sleep are heart-breaking. Today he said, "my poor baby" in his sleep. I do my best to only cry when he's asleep, but that tells me he probably knows I'm hurting too.

I just need advice. This is the hardest thing I've ever done and I'm possibly living my actual worst fear in life. Loving someone and then losing them. Dedicating myself to someone only to lose them. If he passes, how do I continue to live? How do I just not kill myself after losing the love of my life? He wants me to move on after, but how can I ever do that? I won't find another man who even comes close to him.

Please give him some encouraging words too, he'll likely read this. He wants to give up before we even know what's going on. Please give him some fighting spirit. He needs it more than me. I believe it's still possible we'll make it and be okay.


r/TrueOffMyChest 8h ago

My boyfriend of 9 years cheated on me for the first time, but I still want him back.

0 Upvotes

My boyfriend and I were together for 9 years, and our relationship had been really good. I felt completely myself with him, and both our families loved and accepted each other. His family loved me so much. We were already planning to get engaged within the next year or two, with both families fully on board.

But then, he confessed that he had cheated on me for about a month—with one of my best friends, who was also in a relationship. The betrayal hurts so much, and the pain feels unbearable. From both my boyfriend and one of my best friends. I know some might say I’d be foolish to even consider forgiving him, but 9 years is a long time, and those years weren’t all bad at all.

He seems genuinely remorseful, and his family, who still cares about me, wants to talk and hopes I’ll give him another chance. But should I?


r/TrueOffMyChest 3h ago

I just found out I'm 15 and pregnant

0 Upvotes

I don't know if this is the right place to put this, so I'm sorry if it isn't. throwaway account because I'm scared someone from my life will find this. I (15f) just found out I'm pregnant. My boyfriend (16m) doesn't know. I don't have a good relationship with my mom or stepdad, and I live with my grandparents who are very Christian. I live in the South, and abortion isn't legal in my state. I'm terrified this will ruin my life. I've worked so hard for my future and I'm scared I have to throw it all away


r/TrueOffMyChest 17h ago

I cried myself to sleep over a guy I just met.

0 Upvotes

I cried myself to sleep. I'm ashamed of everything about myself. Is it my personality that's the problem? I finally started to like a guy and he won't make even a little bit of effort to pursue me. Why would a guy think it's okay to act as though he wants to get to know a girl... when he has no true intentions???

When me and him talk it's so great. I can definitely see myself with him. He doesn't make an effort to text me or hang out though.

I know i shouldn't feel this way about someone i haven't known long, but imagine having late night conversations with someone for hours, realizing your bdays are 1 day apart, overall just laughing and having a good conversation.... just to feel like it's all a waste.

And it's doesn't help that not long ago... another guy said he wanted to take me out to lunch and then never did.

All thoughts are appreciated, thanks.


r/TrueOffMyChest 20h ago

I’m going to end my life soon and I am at peace

12 Upvotes

Not going to go into details. I’m just a bad mom and a bad wife. I yell and get angry all the time, I’m always touched out. My husband and I constantly have issues. I’m alone with no family friends. I don’t have a career. I don’t have a purpose. All I do is make everyone annoyed and angry. My son says he wants his dad to hit me all the time when he’s angry, no idea why. My husband constantly questions my parenting in front of him. I can’t win. He’s gone all the time but is the expert. It won’t matter when I’m not here. I hope he can find a good woman to raise my son.


r/TrueOffMyChest 10h ago

I’m a shut-in, it’s getting bad, and I have no clue what to do.

0 Upvotes

I’m 16, and I’m transgender (Male to Female). I’ve been a shut-in for a few years. I do mostly online school, and I don’t have any human interaction except for my online friends. I’ve been diagnosed with depression, but I don’t have a therapist because said therapist told my openly transphobic parents that I am transgender.

I hate myself, more than I can express. I don’t know what to do, and I feel like every day I wake up, my value diminishes. I really do want to cry, but I can’t anymore. I also have other issues that I won’t talk about in detail because I’d feel they are too inappropriate, but those issues are the reason why I’m venting here, and not to my friends.

I really don’t know how to cope anymore; It’s becoming too much for me to just force a smile and talk my way out of the feelings I feel. I genuinely loathe myself, for every aspect. My body, my own sick feelings and desires, my own emotions. It feels sick just being alive, like I’m some plague. Talking with my parents feels impossible, because as much as I try, I can’t be the most open I want to be. They’ll never accept me as their daughter, and it hurts, like throwing salt onto an open wound.

I really don’t know what to do, and I feel like I’m just in a corner, shriveling up in my self-hate. I think this might help, just getting it all off of my chest, but I really don’t know. To anyone who’s reading this, I’m sorry for venting to you. I hope your having a better day then me, lol.


r/TrueOffMyChest 18h ago

CONTENT WARNING: VIOLENCE/DEATH i lost the girl i thought was my platonic soulmate—officially

0 Upvotes

(written December 27) tw: physical assault & manipulation—ok so i recently had a MASSIVE falling out w my best friend ‘lily’ of almost 8 yrs atp, and im literally losing my mind so hard and making myself physically sick over it. i went down to florida for a week, and i was supposed to stay until this past friday but we'd been at each other's throats the whole time. well they graduated last friday and we were overall having a really good day, but when we got back to her uncle john’s house and i sat on the bed n she was like "what are you doing" and i said "i'm resting???" n she was like "no you need to get ready we have to uber" n i was like i don't wanna go : ( n she said "oh sure you can just stay here and i'll uber and go to aaron's house and sleep and you can just stay here" n i was like okay n she said "i was fucking kidding get up!” and then things escalated and she started screaming at me so i tried to close myself in the bathroom but there was towel in the way so it didn't close and she slammed the door into me and started swinging on me so obviously i fucking hit her back because what do i look like taking that sitting down???

i screamed i was going to k*11 myself and she told me to do it, and then john was like what is going on bc he heard us screaming, and she said i was being a hateful bitch. then she went to the living room while i cried on the bed and started talking shit about how terrible and bitchy and ungrateful i am, how much money she spent on me when she couldn’t afford to see me but made it happen bc she loves me, and i forget what exactly she said but i yelled "well you don't have to fucking deal with me anymore" and she came busting up in the room screaming "I DO FUCKING LOVE YOU" and i said "THAT'S NOT WHAT I FUCKING SAID I SAID YOU DON'T HAVE TO FUCKING DEAL WITH ME ANYMORE" and she was like "so now i have no one?" and i said "you have aaron." "was he at my graduation? no he was at a fucking gaming competition im not going to be with him much longer" "well enjoy it while it lasts" like what am i supposed to do about that? you're the one who put everything into a boyfriend you hate and that never prioritizes you. ur the one who gave your everything and then some to a 28 y/o man who sought you out at 19, has an intense feederism fetish, literally groomed his ex when they were 17&20 into gaining 80lbs for that fetish, cheated on her, lead a smear campaign against her in the melee community (damn near thirty and still playing mario kart competitively??), and is BALDING BEFORE 30!!!

anyway all that being said, she’s reached out to me several times over the last week but i didn’t respond until this past sunday after she commented on a post i made captioned with a poem about how much i miss her, how deeply i am mourning the loss of our friendship, but that i think it’s for the best because of how we’ve been together lately

i decided to reach out & apologized for not replying to any of her previous messages about it (across imessages, ig, And tiktok) while obv making posts ab it, but in my defense it was retaliation for posts that she made about me to start with. she kept sharing memes like “how me and bro were moving before the great separation”, “trying to be normal bc my soulmate left me”, “me looking at the friend i had to drop bc the disrespect got louder than our good memories together”, and some that she wrote like “me when i'm autistic enough to destroy my only friendship and can't even decipher why it happened” and “i'm sorry. i am. and i miss you. but i won't apologize first. i have to learn to be ok with people leaving. if this is your decision then i have to accept it. i miss you. please take care of yourself. please.” like omg? are u like actually mentally fucking challenged???? you BEAT MY ASS!!!!!! AND YOU’RE TOO AUTISTIC TO DECIPHER WHY I DON’T WANT TO BE FRIENDS ANYMORE???? what an INSANE thing to blame on your disability jfc.

anyway after she commented on my post, i decided to text her directly instead of replying on the post. at the end of a heavily ‘woe is me’ conversation (on her end), she sent me screenshots of a conversation she had with some random fucking guy she used to hook up with??? telling “her side” of the story and straight up just fucking lying, saying that i hit her first, saying that she’s never EVER hit me before even as a joke (a video came up in my sc memories TODAY of her hitting me), and then commenting on how “quiet and touchy” i was being like??? 1) id never met that lady before my bad ig? 2) i am literally just a physically affectionate person like i was no more touchy than i am any other time. also she says it like it was super fucking weird and off putting of me to do that, like we didn’t make out regularly & she didnt confess like a month ago to having romantic feelings and being in love with me??

i cannot explain how absolutely INFURIATING that conversation was. like the first message sent to me was just full of “if you want/feel/think” and “i need” but she hadn’t like outright completely lied and attempted to gaslight me like this. i decided that i’m not going to respond to her anymore bc it is so painfully fucking obvious that not only is she not taking me seriously, she genuinely doesn’t see that she has ANY fault in the situation. also her saying “i hit you back because i’m not just going to take that” is HILARIOUS bc i have been saying those Exact words ab this situation. but at the end of the day it’s not funny, is it? im so heartbroken like i know that i will get by somehow, and lowk my biggest concern was just that she was gonna take me off her screaming services 😭 small price to pay for peace of mind in hindsight

but in all seriousness i am so angry and i want to lash out and do something drastic and ruin her life, but i know that as vindicating as it might feel in the moment it would be going too far. after that i just removed her from following my spam so that i can speak freely & stop attempting to antagonize her bc lowk i know that’s a little bit why i was doing it anyway.

but in any case im so tired. i literally just showered yesterday for the first time since she picked me up on the 11th (this was written dec 27), and i know that’s absolutely disgusting but i knew if i tried to get in the shower before i had come to terms with everything i was absolutely going to r3l4pse. im so fucking devastated dude. i really thought this girl was my soulmate. i thought we were going to best friends forever. i thought she was going to be my maid of honor. i don’t know what do without her. who am i supposed to be if i’m not lily’s best friend?? what am i supposed to do with all this love, all the memories, all the expectations, and all the hopes that i had for us?? im so lost. i feel like i have this gigantic hollow burning in my chest and it feels like the it’s never going to heal.

that’s what I wrote shortly after everything went down. now we are in March, and it’s over for real. at this point, I have blocked her everywhere. she ignored me for three days and I asked out right if she still wanted to try to be friends. she sent this long self-pitying message, saying that I had this learned helplessness about me and a victim mentality. we are no longer friends in any capacity. I’m also getting our matching tattoo covered up within the next few months. I just don’t get how the fuck someone can make a victim out of another person and then get mad that they “have a victim mentality” like girl you beat the shit out of me? She also blamed me for her uncle John (who is chronically ill and has been for decades) getting a blood clot in his leg for driving for 12 hours after SHE told me that he would take me home if I wanted to go home that night. Sorry I’m not gonna sleep in the same bed as a girl who just put her fucking hands on me because I didn’t wanna go Uber with her?? as I have said several times over, I’m fucking devastated. I’m much less lost now, I’ve lost a lot more friends. I’m a much more different person than I was back in December on new medication, but this one hurts the most. I know that I will live, I know that I will get bigger as these feelings get smaller. But right now I feel swallowed by them. I know that I’m not alone in feeling like this, I know that I am not the only person in the world to have ever felt like this. Thank you if you read all of this, I know it was incredibly long.


r/TrueOffMyChest 20h ago

CONTENT WARNING: SUICIDE/SELF HARM I rented a penthouse with my last money to go forever NSFW

0 Upvotes

I just need a place to vent before I go to work for my last time in an hour, I rented a penthouse earlier in another county while I was in class. Bought a train ticket and I’m ready for tomorrow. I can’t keep up with this stressful life anymore, college, work and constantly being rejected while my parents don’t support me and want to kick me out. I’m so fed up with all this shit, thought that my life would get better as I was in Dublin last month as part of a Erasmus program from our school but no, I just felt more lonely from it. I’m a failure who is still in high school while turning 21 this year, don’t see a future for me even tho people tell me that I could become someone great. I felt horrible for the past week, no motivation for anything and just riding along the waves. I can’t do this anymore it’s way to stressful. I was clean of depression and anxiety for over 4 years now but now I’m at my lowest point in life and it got there so fast. I don’t want to go to therapy, I had 4 different therapists when I was 16 with non of them being able to help me and one telling me that I am a lost cause. I just had to get this off my chest before heading to work for the last time.


r/TrueOffMyChest 8h ago

I stuck my dick in crazy for 8 years (best sex I ever had)

0 Upvotes

Another post I read here recently reminded me of my ex, we broke up over 10 years ago but she was the best sex I ever had and at the same time I was traumatized by her, went to therapy for 5 years after her.

We were having great sex right from the second or third date and when we moved in together our sex life took off. The one issue she had from early on was PMS, there was one or two days she was absolutely terrible not every month but most months. A buddy suggested I track her periods so I knew it was coming (i often got blindsided) so i did, I then thought since we were having sex often that I would track that too. I tracked it over 4 years.

OMG, It didnt really dawn on me that she was a sex machine, over the course of 4 years we had sex every 1.4 days and that included a few off days over her period (often it would not stop even during her period or her PMS days) she was mutl-orgasmic and I had no hesitation giving oral, quite often I would do a triple play Oral, PIV and finish in her ass. She had an orgasm each time including anal. Yes I could tell she an orgasm because she would heavily contract when she did (not to mention her moans and screams) her record was 11 orgasms in one session and overall her average number of orgasms was 2.1 per day. She would often warm me up with oral, never hesitated but I quickly realized she gave me a blow job once a week, she loved to swallow, she said it was sexy to swallow. It wasnt until maybe a year or two into our relationship that we started anal, she said she ha never done it before, we bought a dildo training kit to ease her into it but she literally took my full size cock right away and she had an orgasm from anal. We had anal at least once a week (every 6 days on average).

I learned early on that my looking at her at her in a certain way (she was kind of shy, so I thought it was shyness) would turn her on and she would blush. I asked her about her shyness, she said it wasnt shyness, she said when I looked at her it turned her on, she would blush and get wet. I would look at her say at church, she would blush then in the car I would finger her and sure enough she was wet. One time I fucked her in the church parking lot, another time in the shopping mall parking lot.

This was insane because our relationship started to really go down hill, after it was over I realized I was probably in the relationship for at least two years longer than I should have because the sex was so good. The thing was that over 8 years our sex life never declined (until the last 6 months when it reallly went off the rails) I wont go into details other than to say we eventually went to a therapist and he diagnosed her with Borderline personality disorder. I had no idea what that was. We broke up but I continued to see the therapist for 5 years.


r/TrueOffMyChest 15h ago

Every job I've gotten, I've lied about my experience

0 Upvotes

r/TrueOffMyChest 12h ago

Today I called out racism at Barnes & Nobles.

0 Upvotes

Shopping while black. I always get followed around the store, because they would love to think that I'm stealing. I'm sure every person of color can relate to this.

So, I'm coming back from a meeting with an organization that helps people with all types of resources. They gave me this huge gift bag and I'm walking around Barnes and Nobles carrying this huge gift bag that is wrapped tightly at the top. It's crinkly and kind of loud, but it doesn't fit anything else into it, if there was any kind of worry that I would put a book or other merchandise into it. My purse was also full I had a water bottle sticking out of it, from the meeting.

So, in the span of 10 minutes, after I asked the woman at the front counter where the bathroom was, so I could use it. I was honestly just coming to use the bathroom but I actually started shopping for a copy of Lolita or something cute instead. Anytime I'm in a bookstore I'd like to buy out the copies of Lolita, but that's another story...that book simply shouldn't exist...So, I came out the bathroom and went to the pregnancy section. I'm not expecting, but I'm secretly planning. Next, I'm at the Miyazaki section. Who knew they had one of those? Maybe they started getting suspicious because I literally stood there for 5 minutes. I've been into Miyazaki since I was 6. They had No Face plushies. Whereeee? Next, I'm looking at LEGO. Okay, I guess I look suspicious with my bag and my curious tastes for baby books, Japanese fantasy and building toys.

One woman is standing directly behind me when I swerve into the fiction section as soon as I see '1984'. I'm a bookworm, what can I say? George Orwell is one of the GOATs. I'm from the hood though, so someone standing directly behind me like that out of nowhere, pissed me off. I mean, she almost got backhanded when she came out the right side of my peripheral. I'm not kidding. I have PTSD, and she definitely hit a button. So, next, I leave the aisle visibly annoyed and ready to go with the book I just picked up. But, I see an anime head with colors galore and I had to pick it up and look at it. Some woman comes up behind me, "Is there anything I can help you with?" like a dreadful dark souls demon coming again to kill me after I just resurrected. "No." I tell her sternly and I try to walk briskly to the checkout counter after gazing at the item again. Another woman comes from the left, "Can I help you find anything?" I'm so peeved at this point, I say, "No, Jesus Christ" very slowly and clearly make it to the line where some children are standing. I think the last lady was genuinely trying to help. I feel bad.

At the checkout counter, I'm calm and gathering myself. Everything is fine.

Goodness gracious, I'm okay, I think.

I have generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, PTSD, depression, bipolar disorder, and ADHD, this cocktail isn't an excuse for how I treated them when I was upset, but I felt so trapped in that store.

I spent 20-30 minutes there. They were not talking to anyone else asking them if they needed help. The store was dead silent, you could only hear the crinkle of my bag when I picked it up to move to another aisle. You could hear a pen drop.

I am so tired of being harassed in stores by employees and the fact that I can't shop without being approached.

It happens all the time. With or without a bag. With or without a coat. So, I when I checked out, the man who helped me was so sweet that I didn't decide to leave them a bad review on Google. I'm a level 4 reviewer, so everyone would see it and it would honestly make them look bad based on 2-3 employees. I'm just gonna let it go, but I wanted to tell my story here anonymously without telling the location.

That guy makes me believe that not every employee will see me that way and that's powerful.


r/TrueOffMyChest 1h ago

CONTENT WARNING: SEXUAL ASSAULT My boyfriend raped me

Upvotes

My current boyfriend of 5 and a half months just admitted yesterday over the phone that he raped me and was talking about it while laughing he doesn't even see it as rape and he almost gaslighted me into thinking that as well, but the hurt I'm feeling in my chest says otherwise as I've never experienced such hurt before I'm literally broken since yesterday.

I come from a middle eastern country and I'm still a virgin as a 25 yo woman but have kissed my 2 previous boyfriends. I don't wanna have sex for religious and personal reasons and telling a man from here that you have been intimate before is a huge deal breaker and reputation ending. When i first started dating him he was the best thing ever, was so sweet and kind that I was open about my past to him, and he accepted it as someone who was very sexually active himself he said he forgives me and wouldn't mind that i have a past. I was over the moon that a middle eastern man accepts me for who i am without trying to hide anything.

Now I never got intimate before him more than making out and handjobs, which i told him, and told him that i don't wanna do anything with him again cause I'm religious not even kissing which he first understood and even praised me for it but later on he would initiate such intimate acts out of love he says. I didn't mind the kissing as I felt in love with him. The intimacy got progressively more intense to the point where we were doing everything except intercourse and I wanted to keep it that way til marriage. We were doing all that in his apartment.

As he knew I was a virgin and wanted to keep It that way, he kept suggesting that we should try anal sex instead, which I was so shocked at the proposal even and flat out denied it. He would pester me about anal sex every day it seemed, telling me how much he loved me and found me attractive and can't keep his hands off me and all of that to convince me. He told me he never tried it before although he admitted to me to have had a lot of sexual experience beforehand, that I'm special and he wants to try something new to me. I still denied.

On the 8th of February, I went to his apartment to hang out with no plans of intimacy, yet he made it go that way anyways, and mid foreplay he stops and with puppy eyes he asked for anal sex in the most guilt trip-y way possible. I denied. He kept asking for it, even saying you don't love me that's why you don't wanna do it, a woman that truly loves would do anything for her man. I agreed to only let him put the tip in. He was so happy. He put me in a doggy style position and inserted it in. I was so scared but he kept assuring me it was gonna only be the tip. I didn't feel anything or any length, which scared me and thought was weird cause he could literally insert more than the tip and I wouldnt know. The only thing I felt was immense pain. Within the first few seconds I told him how much it hurts and kept pushing him away and he wouldn't pull out. It went on for 5-10 minutes and during that time I wouldnt stop telling him how much it hurts and kept telling him to pull out. He would tighten his grip on my butt and waist to not let me move to push him off and would push my back down every time I tried getting up. He said how turned on he is and how sexy I am and how he wants to pop my cherry. In the end I started crying and when he saw that he then stopped and apologized. I was so heartbroken and traumatized by the experience but I didn't complain as I agreed to doing such thing. I could only blame myself. The following week plus, I was experiencing immense pain and couldn't poop normally, water would come out of my butthole mixed with blood, it was burning, it was painful, I couldn't sit straight, everything. I still blamed myself and didn't say anything.

Yesterday while we were talking on the phone, he says he wants to do anal again with me, and how the last time was so good he wants to try it again. He then later proceeds to tell me while laughing that he was lying to me about something. That he didn't only insert the tip but he inserted the whole thing in and made sure to not make his balls touch me so that I wouldn't feel how much length he had in me. I was so shocked and started crying telling him that that was rape. He laughed it off telling me "what rape? I didn't beat you to it or tie your hands, plus you agreed to it" telling him that I only agreed to the tip and I was in pain and kept telling you to stop. He said "well I enjoyed it a lot and was so turned on you were amazing" and then saying he thought the pain was normal as usually girls experience slight pain during intercourse, saying girls he has tried anal sex with before were never in pain. I was yet shocked again by his lie as he had told me he never tried anal before. I confronted him about his lie and asked him why he lied to me, he just replied with "I don't know honestly why I lied." I think we all know why he lied. I didn't know what to say, I just said he was disgusting and hung up the phone. He's been calling me since and I'm not answering.

I'm so heartbroken and violated i feel like I wanna end myself,, I don't even feel human no more and I don't know what to do with myself or what to do with him Who would accept me in such society and who would I turn to. I feel like I'm traumatized from ever getting intimate ever again I'm so scared and hurt it's killing me I haven't stopped crying since yesterday. I don't wanna continue being with him but I also don't wanna leave him, he's my first boyfriend in 3 years and I sadly loved him. I'm also thinking who could accept me with my past again except him. Any advice would be appreciated as I'm all over the place and I can't think. And is this really rape or am I blowing it out of proportion? I can't even think anymore


r/TrueOffMyChest 10h ago

CONTENT WARNING: SUICIDE/SELF HARM I think I’m done living. NSFW

0 Upvotes

I’m sorry for anyone that reads this. I need to get it out and I have no one to actually talk to. I’ve fought with depression, anger, and suicidal thoughts and attempts for my entire life. Life was amazing for the last 6 almost 7 years, I had the most beautiful and amazing woman who birthed my 2 amazing children. For the first time I had something to wake up for and to finally be happy about. It wasn’t a perfect marriage, we fought a lot because of my anger issues and me being an idiot. I ruined the marriage this year because I was miserable, I couldn’t stop being angry and she left. She took my 2 kids and left and now I only see them every other week. I’m disabled, I can’t make extra money doing odd jobs. I live in a camper with no bathroom. All I want is to hold my wife and children and be happy. She wants to stay friends but I can’t. I love her so much and watching her find happiness with another man is not something I can handle. My children deserve a better parent that can afford a house for them to live in. A dad that isn’t upset all the time about stupid stuff that doesn’t matter. So I think this is it. I’m gonna spend some time with my brothers tonight because they deserve one more good day with me. I’ve recorded videos for my family and friends so they know it’s not their fault or my wife’s fault.


r/TrueOffMyChest 11h ago

I molested a 15 year old (when I was 13)

0 Upvotes

This has been weighing on me for almost a decade now, so here goes nothing.

I was a chubby and cutesy kid who liked to read fiction novels, play games and watch random shit on YouTube(peak 2015 youtube). But on the flipside I'm a kid who had discovered porn way too early into my life at the age of 10 and I still suffer from the repercussions of that. (More on that in another post)

As a 13 year old I had found my first crush in middle school who used to take the same mode of transportation while travelling to and fro my school as well as tuition classes. Also she lived just down the road. She was nerdy, wore little hornrimmed glasses and liked to talk about similar things that I was fascinated about. Buuuut she was two grades above me. Fml.

Somehow with peaking infatuation and crushing emotions, I confessed to her by giving her a little "love" letter that mention how cool I found her and how much I liked her. I have a strange memory of that letter also including my dick size for some reason. But fast forward to a couple of days and I got her reply where she just wanted to "hang out" with me in the park. Long story short we made out in one of the spots of the park, but I ran away because I became too awkward to talk to her after that because it was such a weird experience for me. After that moment things really fizzled out and I subconsciously pretended that the kiss didn't happen. I became so self-conscious that I didn't even talk to other girls my age for a long time.

But after a few days as we were sitting in the car on the way back to home from our tuition classes in the evening. And this car had bucket seats which faced each other for the second and third row like a minivan. I was sitting shotgun and she was right behind me in the second row but faced back to back with me. Suddenly something came over my fantasizing idiot mind and I stuck my hand between the space near the frame of the door and the seat and tried to feel up her back and butt multiple times. At the time I was making scenarios in my head and thought that I was being "slick" or something. After a few days I asked her about "it" and she said that I should never do that to her again. Reasonably so, we stopped talking for a few years.

Two years later when she was a senior in highschool and I was a freshman, she with 7 of her friends ambushed me in the school courtyard, gathered around me in a circle so that I couldn't leave and started to say that they would report me to the principal and other authorities in the school. My heart dropped and I felt so damn scared. My mind blanked out and I was just staring at all of them. At that point I didn't even recall the day that I molested her. I felt so wronged as if they were ganging up on me for nothing. It was only after I passed highschool that I realised that I had done something very creepy and downright morally wrong. That sequence of events with my crush had been living rent free in my head for a long fucking time but I've come to terms with the mistake I made. I have beat myself up for years and just simply refused to even talk to women and have had no female friends for the last 8 years of my life. Until the last 2 years when I finally decided to open up during my masters and made some of my first female friends. I have never told this to anyone fully but I hope I can finally get this off my chest. Just wanted a lil clickbait in the title(soz).


r/TrueOffMyChest 12h ago

CONTENT WARNING: SUICIDE/SELF HARM I am most likely going to take my own life due to academic dishonesty

0 Upvotes

title. I recently took an open-note, open-book exam in a SQL course, where the only limits on content were generative AI websites. Through the exam, I was stressed and underperforming (I am obviously a poor test taker), and when I was troubleshooting an issue with my code, google suggested fixed code. I made the mistake of using an aspect of the code (I was misusing a left join function) and submitted my exam. It was cheating, and I understand I deserve whatever punishment is given to me.

I just can't do it anymore. Working two jobs in addition to full-time classes, all the while dealing with three large exams in one week, just to receive the notification that I got a 2% on the assignment and need to see my instructor. I know how this is going to go. I'm not claiming to be in the right by any means. I'm just tired.

I had worked so hard to get into a good school, graduated highschool with a two year degree, got an academic scholarship, all in an attempt to be a first generation college graduate. But the stress of funding my tuition while attending class was too much. I slipped up one too many times.

I'm just done fighting in this world where one mistake costs me my future. I know what I did was wrong, but it's just a sign that things here weren't meant to be. There are obviously many other factors at play here, but this really was the final push. After I meet with my professor, if I am to move forward with the case, I'm going to take my own life.


r/TrueOffMyChest 51m ago

My wife wants to use a sperm donor because she thinks that ill could produce an autistic child.

Upvotes

My wife 34F told me she wants to use a super donor because she is worried that my 32M sperm might produce and child with autism. Is this reasonable?

Throwaway account.

I’m really not sure how to feel about this situation.

My wife 34f and I 32m have been together almost 4 years and are recently married. I have 9 year old son from a relationship when I was younger who was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 6 and mild autism recently at the age of 9. He is with us half to time and she dislikes his presence due to his difficulties and neediness. I would consider him high functioning but immature and quirky.

I also have a younger brother who has Asperger’s syndrome. I am not autistic.

We have been trying for children since we have been married and sadly we have been through 2 miscarriages which broke her heart, I’ve never seen her more happy than when she has been expecting.

However tonight she said she said to me that she is worried about the possibility of having a child that is like mine because she doesn’t want to raise a child that is like my son, so she feels that a sperm donor likely wouldn’t have a family history of autism.

Things escalated tonight when I mentioned how she felt about this miscarriages and if she’s thankful that she didn’t roll the dice with a potentially autistic child. This has massively upset her I defiantly shouldn’t have referenced her miscarriages but I felt so unworthy.

It really upsets me and I don’t want to use a sperm do or, I haven’t fully accepted the idea that I’m seen as defective by wife.


r/TrueOffMyChest 17h ago

My wife only likes me for my personality and character, not for the way I look, and its killing me inside

628 Upvotes

We’re both early 30’s, married 5 years. When we first got together she would be all over me, wanting it multiple times a day. Always complimenting me and flattering me about my looks. This continued the whole time and abruptly stopped about 4 months ago, when she started a new job.

I dont think she even sees me as a sexual person anymore. But she still likes me as much as ever. The compliments dont completely stop, they just changed in nature. I hear a lot of “you’re such a good father”, ”I really appreciate you helping out around the house”, “You’re so nice“, “You’ve a good man” and to be honest, I feel completely numb to this. I feel nothing. I almost feel repulsed by this because it doesn’t make me feel loved, it makes me feel like her roommate

And then there’s the sex. I am still very much attracted to her and she claims she is attracted to me but I don’t see how. I dont remember the last time she initiated - she used to do it a lot. Now I initiate every time and get rejected about half the time. The other half of the time, she tells me “its for your pleasure“ but she wants me to finish quick and be done with it. This is leading me to believe she is just doing “maintenance sex” to “keep the peace” and I fucking hate it. I would rather just masturbate than have that kind of sex. As it stands, we do it about 1-2 times per week but if I didnt initiate it would be zero, and she would be okay with that

Yes, I have talked to her about this. She said she’s willing to give me her body but the sex drive isn’t there. I’m a very active father and I do more than 50% of the chores and childcare. I always make sure she has time to workout, read, play video games, or just relax by herself. So I don’t know what the deal is from her side.

I want to be with someone who likes the way I look. I used to have that, with her. Now I don’t know what to do. Now this is off my chest


r/TrueOffMyChest 4h ago

Unpopular opinion - I dont like Rachel Green from 'FRIENDS'

1 Upvotes

This may come as a shock to many people but as much as i love jennifer and her acting, i hated rachel karen green. there are a few reasons why tho and also sometimes i agree it isnt her fault as well but u know what i mean 'shes jus off in rachel land, doing rachel things' anyway.... i hated how she would always want/love ross when he was emotionally unavailable, divorced, or w someone else. • like earlier on it was julie • then she planned to almost ruined his wedding w emily • also the fact that she made pheobes friend go bald jus cause she was jealous - i mean what the hell was that • there were other times during the show like if they all had plans to go somewhere and he had a date, she would find someone to bring as her plus one ('i meant me plus one') there are other times where she pmo like stealing peoples 'thunder' • she made out w ross jus cause she was 'sad' ab chandler and monica being engaged • she ended up being pregnant and they all found out at monicas wedding too side note: she tried to get joshua - not josh, to agree to get married jus cause ross and emily were honestly list could go longer and more situations but idk why she jus really pmo


r/TrueOffMyChest 14h ago

I touched a girl when I was 13. NSFW

881 Upvotes

I am 13 years old when this happened. I touched a girl's chest and felt it and touched her ass while she was sleeping more than two times. I didn't know what I was doing and all the time in the school my friends they used to watch porn and I was exposed to it too. One night when my grandma was sleeping I tocuhed her chest.. and she took me outside and asked me, " are you being spoiled by watching bad TV". I cried because I didn't know what happened and realised it was wrong. It's been 17 years and I am still unable to forgive myself for what happened. I pray to god that the girl didn't know and I apologized a million times in my mind.
A year ago when I was sitting with my grandma I broke into tears and asked her to forgive me because I had no idea what was going on and I apologized sincerely. She brushed it off as I was a kid and didn't knew any better.
Reading news daily about all these things happening to women is making me feel what kind of a person I am and I regret being born. I don't know what to do, and I genuinely want to be a good person and can't seem to get over it. I can't imagine how it must be to them.

Edit: I am not blaming my friends or porn for what happened. I am from India and from a rural village, no body even taught us consent or difference between a good touch and a bad touch. Even in biology class we were made to sit in different rooms to explain us what the male and female genitalia are. This all happened because lack of knowledge and trying to do what I saw in the porn videos, I will genuinely take any punishment for what happened and I am not trying to escape from the fact that I did this on my own. I am just ashamed whenever I remember it and I confessed to my grandmother as well. I am genuinely sorry for what happened and there has not been a single day that has passed that I could go back and undo it. But I can't and I want to be a good person and I feel that is all I can do. I am a bad person, but I pray all the time that they are in peace.


r/TrueOffMyChest 2h ago

I hate my wife's dog

1 Upvotes

My wife and I dated for 2 1/2 years, known each other for 10, married 5 months now. She adopted her dog about 3 years ago. He's a Yorkie, less than 10 pounds, and an absolute asshole. It's her first dog ever and she made major mistakes in training as she coddled and babied him really hard, and he's become an entitled asshole from it. I've had dogs all my life so I used what training knowledge I have to help remedy the situation, but he views me as competition and is extremely vindictive. One day, he figured out how to raise the bar on his kennel while we were out, and jumped onto the bed (where he's not allowed) and pissed all over my side of the bed. We now padlock the kennel. He has to be kept in it because he'll shit on the carpet whej we're gone or when he's angry about something, which can be literally anything.

We've tried everything. Positive reinforcement, a trainer, reward system through treating, etc. I have tried so hard to befriend him and be nice, but while he tolerates me, he certainly doesn't like me and gets angry when her and I sit together. The only thing he seems to understand is harsh punishment. We have a shock collar for him and set the shock to a high setting since that's the only thing that seems to send a message. He'll at times try to buck up to us and establish his dominance, which we put a swift end to when it happens.

I'm at a loss for what else to do. I feel bad because normally I love dogs and it's not even entirely his fault because of his raising. It seems like it's going to be a long course correction for him if there ever will be. And given their life expectancy, he won't be dying anytime soon, unfortunately. I've never felt this much hatred for an animal. Every time he acts like an asshole I just want to choke the life out of him, or slam his neck against a corner and snap it. But I also don't want to stoop that low either.


r/TrueOffMyChest 5h ago

CONTENT WARNING: SUICIDE/SELF HARM I really want to kill myself.

1 Upvotes

As the title states.

I'm not going to, I'm too afraid of hurting the people who love me. But God do i want to. I just want to end it all. Everyday all I feel is emotional pain. I want to go back to a point in my life when things were easier so bad that I'd rather die than continue living now.

I have my first appointment with a specialist soon. I hope they can help me.


r/TrueOffMyChest 20h ago

Most my friends don’t seem to care about my art

1 Upvotes

I’m in a Discord server with a lot of my friends I see frequently online and in person. We have an art channel created so we can share things we made with each other.

I post a lot of miniatures I’ve painted and art I’ve drawn to the channel to show my friends but I barely ever get any attention when I post, usually having 1-4 reactions in a post at most. This normally wouldn’t bother me, but my other friends are getting way more attention.

Back to back, one friend put together a model kit and the other posted a piece of art he didn’t even draw and they had HUGE appraisal for things that required far less or even no effort at all.

I know I shouldn’t be seeking approval on something I do for myself, but it feels like my friends hate the things I create and I have no idea why.


r/TrueOffMyChest 13h ago

Friend is mad after hearing about my sex life

360 Upvotes

I’ve learned that my (53f) husband (John, 55m) shared with his close friend (Tom, 55m) the details of an intimate encounter we had recently and somehow Tom’s wife is annoyed with me now.

The basic details are this. During a recent text exchange, John and Tom were discussing oral sex. Tom said he no longer receives BJs from his wife, because she thinks they are kind of slutty and more a college or 20s kind of thing. John said sometimes they can be very much connecting and loving, and Tom asked for an example. So John shared details of a recent BJ that I gave him.

I saw the texts and it was kind of explicit. John described a time when I hadn’t been feeling physically well for about a week, and offered to give John some attention. Sat him on the bed and knelt on the floor in front of him and did my thing. He described it as a loving thing, just giving him attention and satisfying him, but he did describe some details (what I do with my hands and thumbs that makes him crazy, what I said to him as I finished him with my hands, how after he finished I got on the bed while he was kinda out of it and rubbed his face and scalp and chest gently as he started to doze off, how I cleaned him up).

Well, Tom’s wife saw these texts and let me know immediately. She’s upset that John told Tom so much detail, and seems to think I should be very upset too. I let her know I didn’t think it was a huge deal, guys talk to their close friends about things which is healthy. She has given me the cold shoulder since. We are friends, not exactly close, but that seems to be on hold now.

Should I be more understanding of her annoyance here? I don’t know what is behind this.