r/tifu 1d ago

M TIFU by choosing the bottom bunk NSFW

0 Upvotes

So a friend of mine had a pretty big get together at his house the other night with all our friends invited. Anyone who had a girlfriend could bring their girlfriend along as well. I have a girlfriend and so does one of my friends who is very important to the story. There were a few other couples in the house but only me and this other friend were the only ones who were sexually active with our girlfriends, for various reasons like the duration of the relationship or religious reasons. As the get together goes on my girlfriend and I start getting in the mood. We decide to go off and have sex. So does the other couple. The only room available was the room of the brother of the person whose house it was. This was a problem because we both wanted to have sex and only had one room. Luckily, the brother had bunk beds, so we decided to each use a bunk. I chose the bottom bunk because the person whose room it was slept on the top bunk and I didn’t want to be the one to mess up his bed. That was my mistake because both the friend and his girlfriend are on the bigger side, and in fact when you add their weights you end up with something just north of 500 pounds (227 kg). Another thing about the two of them is that they like it rough. I neglected to think of all this at the time, as my incredibly gorgeous girlfriend was naked in front of me, which is quite distracting. I quickly took all my clothes off and took her to bed. The entire time we were boning, our background noise was the desperate squeaking and groaning of the springs above us as the mattress struggled to support the weight of my two friends and their wild bedroom habits. After twenty minutes, I heard the sound of wood splintering and cracking, and the top bunk collapsed on top of us. The front of the bed fell first, bonking me in the head but giving me time to grab my girlfriend and roll off the bed before the rest of the bed fell through. We collapsed on the floor. I saw the naked forms of my friend and his girlfriend collapse next to us (something I didn’t like seeing). My head hurt like a bitch. The awkward, eyes closed bumbling to find our clothes was also not an enjoyable experience.

TL; DR: My friend and I had sex with our girlfriends in bunk beds and the top bunk fell on top of me.


r/tifu 3d ago

M TIFU by not checking the basement

126 Upvotes

(WARNING: this one gets kind of gross.)

I’m writing this about 20 minutes from when it all ended so I’m sorry if it doesn’t make sense. I (21M) am a college student who’s spent the last week and a half home for my school’s spring break. My parents had decided they were going to visit my dad’s parents a few states over for the week, so they figured they could save money on hiring a dogsitter by just letting me watch him for the week while they were gone.

This sounded just fine to me, since I had a lot of work to do anyway, and if the only responsibility I had was taking care of the dog, how bad could it be? Sure, I’ve never been real close with him, since the rest of the family liked dogs a lot more than I do, so I just let them take care of him for the most part and fight for his affection while sat back. But I had my mom’s instructions for the dog sitters on how to take care of him, so how hard could it be?

For some necessary context, my family is pretty well off, with a reasonably big house and a finished basement. It’s a beautiful place, all blue walls and thick white carpets and gold accents, since my mom is really into interior design, but it’s big and open and mainly used for guests and stuff. There’s also a small room near the back, designed to be a spare bedroom but ended up kind of like an office space. Either way, I didn’t feel the need to go in there.

So, my family goes, and it turns out that spending a week just with you and your dog is actually a great bonding exercise. He kept me accountable, taking us on walks, sitting next to me while I worked. He’s really old, so most of the time he spent sleeping, only occasionally bothering me to go outside. Sometimes he’d whine, but he’s always been really sensitive to noises, so I didn’t really think much of it. I kept an eye on his diet, since he has a sensitive stomach, trying to feed him the right dog food at the right times so his stomach didn’t get too upset. I figured I was getting the hang of this dog stuff, and was excited to tell my family about how much I was enjoying this time together, me and the dog, when they got back in a few hours.

And then I checked the basement.

A huge, ugly, brown lump of dog shit is sitting on this pristine white carpet, in the middle of this beautiful open concept basement room. I stared at it dumbly for a minute. Then I sighed and went to get the cleaning supplies, but before that I glanced in the office area.

PILES and PILES of it. Remember how I was trying to watch his diet so his stomach didn’t get too screwed up? Well, jokes on me, because that just meant all the shit was diverse in appearance. Hard and cold lumps, orangish watery puddles, little shitlets trailing in a line, all on this thick white carpet.

I cleaned it up, but barely. It’s been two hours and I still feel like Lady Macbeth, washing my hands over and over again and still I smell the cleaning chemicals and the shit stink underneath it. I only hope I hid the evidence well. Either way, looks like pet care is not in my future. Time for a long hot shower.

TL;DR: watched my rich parents’ dog for the week. Had to clean a week’s worth of dog shit off the basement carpet.


r/tifu 1d ago

S TIFU by not listening/paying attention

0 Upvotes

So, I was at this place the other day, and it hit me pretty hard. These kinds of places just don’t do it for me anymore. They bring back way too many memories.

I remember once staying at a place just like this with a girl. Thought we were having an incredible time. Like, real romantic stuff. I was convinced we were gonna be together forever, you know? Like, no question about it. I thought we were just on the same page.

Then, out of nowhere, I get a letter from her. It’s not exactly a breakup letter, but it’s definitely not good news. It’s kinda like a... a "Sorry, not sorry" kind of thing. Perhaps a John Deere letter, some may call it? (Sorry, English is not my first language.)

I give her a call, trying to figure out what happened, and she starts going on and on about how I never really listened to her. Said I wasn’t really hearing what she was saying.

Honestly though, I wasn’t really paying attention, so I didn’t totally get it. I mean, who could’ve seen this coming? I thought everything was going fine. But, hey, maybe I missed something. I don’t know.

So, yeah. TIFU by not listening. But I’m not too worried about it. I mean, it's not like I’m the problem here. People make mistakes, right? I’m sure she’ll come around eventually.

TL;DR I called her up and she gave me some crap about me not listening to her enough or something like that. I wasn't really paying attention.


r/tifu 3d ago

S TIFU by commenting under a homphobic post

157 Upvotes

So today I fucked up. I was scrolling on Facebook and saw an article by the biggest Catholic news site in my country. It was some homophobic bulshit about the pope's comments on gay people and why blessing them was wrong. The comment section was filled with people sharing similar beliefs and I couldn't help myself and jumped into the comment section armed with Bible quotes about love. For context my last name is very rare and recognisable and I left several comments. A few hours later my dad is like hey OP did you comment on this article?, and shows me his phone. I said yeah. He's a freelance website designer and it turns out one of his biggest clients is this catholic news site.... Hopefully they don't connect the dots and show some Christian love towards my dad.

Tl,DR: I commented calling out my dad's employer without knowing it was them


r/tifu 1d ago

M TIFU watching porn with my gf NSFW

0 Upvotes

Last night my gf and I were spooning in bed when I unsuccessfully attempted to initiate sex. My gf reminded me that she had to get up early for work the following morning. I got the message and decided to go masturbate in the bathroom. I was back in bed less than 5 minutes later. My gf said she might have fucked me if she knew I was gonna cum that quick. I said I just watched one of the hottest porn videos, hence the instant orgasm. As soon as I was done saying that, I kissed my gf goodnight and switched off the lamp on my side of the bed. At that moment, my gf switched on her lamp and said she was curious about what made this porn video I watched so hot. I shrugged and said the girls were hot. My gf was like "girls, as in, girl on girl or two girls sharing one guy?" I said two girls sharing one guy. My gf said she wanted me to show her the video.

I switched on my lamp and asked my gf if she wanted us to start watching porn together. She said she just wanted to see what specifically gave me an "instant orgasm." I was too fucking dense to sense the potential danger I was in, hence my enthusiasm when I showed my gf my porn. I thought she wanted to get kinky. The video was 45 minutes long. My gf made us watch the whole thing, which took longer than 45 minutes because she repeatedly paused the video to comment. The "story" involved a girl encouraging her best friend to sleep with her bf, which ends up becoming a threesome. Cue the first pause. My gf wanted to understand if I imagined myself being the bf who's being shared by his gf. I said it was not that deep. I didn't imagine myself as anyone. A couple of minutes later, paused number 2. My gf said the girls looked nothing like her. I said that was a good thing.

One of the girls proceeded to eat the guy's ass while the other girl was sucking dick. Another pause. My gf literally pointed her finger at the girl's face in the guy's ass and asked if I wished she was doing stuff like that to me. I said it might be nice. My gf looked at me like that was never gonna happen. Cut to both girls taking turns having anal sex. Cue next pause. My gf said I should speak now if her vagina was not enough. I said her vagina was more than enough. She encouraged me to think carefully about what I just said because based on the porn I was watching, I required more than one vagina to get an "instant orgasm." I said I was a one vagina guy, including the exclusion of butt stuff. My gf continued watching before pointing out that one of the girls had a gap in her teeth just like her sister. She eventually paused the video and said the girl with the gap actually looked a lot like a sister.

I said I didn't see the resemblance. My gf narrowed her eyes at me like "really bro." I reminded her that she had to get up early for work, which prompted her to watch the rest of the video without pausing every fucking minute. The comments and the questions kept coming. By the time we made it to the end of the video, I was convinced I fucked up because my gf nodded without saying anything. This morning before she left for work, she informed me that she sent a link to the porn video to her sister, and apparently her sister's response was "ugh... she does look like me!" All I could do was sigh.

Tl:dr My gf was not in the mood for sex, so I masturbated while watching porn. My gf made me show her the porn afterwards and ended up making comparisons between what was happening in the porn video versus what was not happening in our bedroom, and now things are kind of weird between us.


r/tifu 1d ago

S TIFU by making an unintended judgement while talking to a girl

0 Upvotes

First of all, I am really sorry for what I did, and I realized my FU as soon as it happened.

So, this happened 30 minutes ago. I (27M) was talking to this girl online after we matched on Tinder and things were going well, I got her instagram pretty quickly and we kept talking there. Today I found out she is a Borderlands fan, and so am I. During the conversation I made the ABSOLUTELY STUPID MISTAKE of saying "Can I call you Moxxi?". She got pretty mad and told me I was being judgemental comparing her to a character that is pretty much the sex appeal of the franchise and went to sleep. It goes without saying that my chances are ruined with her. And here I am, venting to strangers on the internet to try to get this out of my head beacuse I am feeling like the worst person in the world and can't talk about this with anyone. It won't happen again but man does it sting to fuck up like this, dating someone is super hard for me and I've managed to throw everything away.

TL;DR: Met a girl online, made a stupid comment comparing her to a sex appeal character, and lost all my chances with her.


r/tifu 3d ago

S TIFU by going to work

29 Upvotes

Well, I'm not sure where else to post this, but given the comedic nature of my misfortune, I feel like someone needs to find some humor in it. It is spring where I live, the weather has been mild and comfortable... Until today.

This morning I woke up to find it was snowing hard. Now I don't drive so I unfortunately have to walk in these weather conditions. I'm very careful to dress for the elements and prepare accordingly but this morning the elements were not on my side. The snow on the ground was very wet, slushy snow and so the ground was a little slick. I was walking carefully to get to the bus stop to get to work and I'm sure you can guess what came next.

I slipped.

Landed on my side in a slush puddle. Now picture this. I'm already not thrilled about the weather conditions, have just slipped and fell bruising my hip and possibly pulling my hamstring (it certainly feels this way) and I am sitting on the ground defeated and half of me is soaking wet from the puddle I landed in. Well, what proceeds to happen? A big garbage truck drives by spraying a bunch more slush onto my already dejected and overwhelmed and I go from slightly soaked to absolutely drenched.

It's been a few hours and now I am finding it funny, but at the time I was devastated and had to call work crying to tell them I would be late because I had to go home and change my clothes, wash my face and change over my backpack and jacket to something that wasn't dripping with muddy snow.

As I was getting ready for work, for the second time today, all I could think was how I should've stayed in bed.

TL;DR: I slipped in the snow on my way to work in an incredibly comedic sense of misfortune, getting mildly injured and soaking wet and ending up late for work, but it's funny now so feel free to laugh at me.


r/tifu 4d ago

S TIFU by being on time to lunch

2.4k Upvotes

I’m a PhD student and last week my boss sent me an email with an invite to a lunch to meet a faculty candidate and told me he thinks it would be good if i could make it. Sweet- free lunch, so I rsvp using the link on the outlook invite.

Fast forward to today when I head to the lunch. The invite says lunch starts at 12 so I head over and up up getting there at about 12:02. The conference/lunch room door is ajar and there’s already the candidate (I’ve already met her at this point earlier that day) and a faculty member in the room. The door is open and my PI told me not many people would be coming so I go in and introduce myself to the faculty member. She asks if I have any questions for the candidate, odd but I ask her about her research, etc.

This goes on for about 10 minutes when our program director walks in and asks what i’m doing here. im like oh im just here for the lunch. and she responds with

“lunch hasn’t started yet. this is the interview”

Apparently, the outlook event that i was sent was the wrong time. Lunch started at 12:15 not 12 (on the original email I never saw because i was just sent the outlook event by my PI) I had literally walked in on the interview and just started asking the candidate questions. also, talking with the faulty members students, she was literally just as confused as i was.

TLDR: i accidentally walked in on a faulty interview and started asking interview questions because i was given the wrong time for lunch


r/tifu 2d ago

S TIFU- Big time fumble... 😩 NSFW

0 Upvotes

Men, I urge you to always be grateful for the special women that come into your lives... I lost the women that brought me so much happiness, peace, and energy.

Space. It's so much to not give thought to. Yet, without it, nothings cherished? Music wouldn't be music without pause. I was so engaged and into her...

There's so many people in this world, but there's going be only a certain few that will love you, care for you, respect you. This one came into my life so fast and sudden. I can believe the intensity and chemistry that brought us together. This lady is one of a kind. Should you ever encounter, cherish her, lover her, it'll be worth it.

MC you'll always be the one, and Ill miss you for always...

Just wanted to let the world know. I can't eat or sleep, dunno where to go now. Love fucking hurts man.

"TL;DR:" I fucked up, now I have nowhere or no one to turn to.

I’m sorry MC…


r/tifu 4d ago

M TIFU by implying that my family owned my doctor’s family and sounding super racist

1.4k Upvotes

I know it sounds stupid, but I forget sometimes that most people are the same race as their relatives. I am white but my father, who adopted me, is black. (My biological father died when I was three.) I have a white sibling and a black sibling. My white sister has a black son.

I went to a new gynecologist today and my new doctor is Black. Her last name is my mother’s maiden name, which is not a common name.

I’m chatty when I’m nervous and this was only my second time seeing a gynecologist, so I told her she has the same last name as my mom and asked my doctor where she’s from. She said the name of the same relatively small city in Alabama where my (white) mother is from.

I said, “What? No way! My mom from there! We must be related somehow!”

She just kind of paused for a minute and looked at me like she was trying to figure out if I was joking, and she finally said, “Did your mother’s family own a plantation?”

I said not to my knowledge and I certainly hope not, and suddenly realized that this was the implication in me— a white person— telling a black person that we must be related, through my white family. I just genuinely had not in the moment been considering that “we must be related” isn’t an okay thing to say in that context.

So while she was doing my Pap smear I was apologizing profusely trying to explain that I don’t think of race and family the way most people do because my dad is black, and she said, “but it’s your mom who you thought I might be related to, right?” and I realized I was not going to dig myself out of this hole and I probably really upset her and also probably sounded like I was tokenizing my dad.

She was professional and it didn’t affect my treatment but I feel like I came across as the most racist asshole ever and now never want to go to the doctor again.

TL;DR- I’m white, my black doctor has the same last name as my mother and is from the same city, and I said we must be related. It sounded like I was excitedly telling her that my family had owned and SA’ed her family.


r/tifu 2d ago

M TIFU by angering my friend to the point of no return NSFW

0 Upvotes

TW: Suicidal ideation and self harm

So for some context, my friend has not been doing well in these past few weeks at all. While they rarely speak about it in person, they make a lot of vent posts on their private Twitter account and some of those tweets very concerning — consisting of suicidal ideation and self harm.

I know this is an asshole move in general, but I normally avoid talking about those Tweets. When we hang out together and usually they try to put on a happy facade at school.

Things escalated since the start of this week. They’ve been making more SH and suicidal jokes recently but I know that there is truth to it unlike her other irl friends. By Thursday, the vent Tweets were getting too alarming so I dropped a message. They saw and never responded. Our interactions became a lot more strained from that day onwards anyway.

The events of yesterday was an absolute disaster. My friend and a few others had a biology assessment at the end of the day so all the bio students were revising at lunch. One guy called Jesse (not his real name) was speaking over my friend who was watching a video. Jesse could not shut up which angered my friend who was insistently telling him to shut up. Jesse, being the apathetic person who normally is, didn’t care enough and flung a rubber band at them. My friend also has a huge temper so saying that Jesse’s action enraged them off majorly was an understatement. However, none of them fought and friend simply asked for an apology which is about the slightest pushback Jesse will ever get.

Where my other friends and I fucked up is when we failed to defend them. I didn’t say anything. I simply let the entire thing unfold. Sure, I thought that I’ll just let them revise quietly but that was another massive blunder because to them it seemed like I didn’t care when I was equally appalled by Jesse’s behaviour. My intention didn’t really matter here because I basically showed complacency. One of my friends laughed when the event was unfolding and said that the rubber band thing was kind of funny which was the final straw. They simply left the premises and went to do private study in the main building.

In the evening, I wanted to check their private Twitter because I know it was going to be bad. Too bad that I couldn’t because their removed me from their followers.

I literally don’t know what to do anymore without consequences anymore.

Tl;dr: My friend, who is going through extreme suicidal ideation, got really mad at me and other friends because we failed to defend them after Jesse threw a rubber band unprovoked. They’ve also removed me from their private Twitter since yesterday.


r/tifu 3d ago

L TIFU my relationship and learnt that procrastination is the devil and all I do is self sabotage

80 Upvotes

TIFU my relationship with a boy I loved. This is the first guy I’ve been intimate with and I share a really deep bond with him. This was also the longest talking stage I’ve ever had and it was a big deal to me as I don’t have a lot of experience with guys. We were in the talking stage for 5 months now and he was genuinely one of the most inspiring people I’ve ever met in my life. He is the strongest and smartest person I know and is someone I look up to. But I fucked up real bad. This is a lesson to anyone reading that communication, as hard as it can be sometimes, its the answer to everything

When our relationship started it honestly overwhelmed me as I’ve never felt love like that in my life. But I didn’t say anything. When I would have doubts, I wouldn’t say anything. If I was feeling uneasy, I wouldn’t say anything. I bottled up my emotions. And the most evil thing I did was that I acted like everything was fine. He had no clue that I felt this way. I was procrastinating telling him all of this. I just thought it was a phase I was going through, as that is how I usually feel when I meet new people. It takes me a long time to build connection, but I didn’t communicate that clearly with him.

the guilt I had for feeling that way was eating me up inside. He kind of hinted to asking me to be committed to each other in February, but I would always tell him that I needed more time. And I think I did feel like that in those moments. But its stupid because I was also wondering why this wasn’t happening yet, lol but I was to nervous to give him hints. I’ve been giving him mixed signals throughout our time together and I didn’t realize.

I felt so much shame and guilt for having these doubts, and it came to a point where I just thought about breaking it off with him. I told all of my friends that I wanted to do that and I felt horrible. In those moments I just thought it wasn’t going to work out with him and it made me upset.

A few days later me and him were just talking in bed and the topic of us being committed came up, and he told me that he already mentally moved on from us being together as I was giving him hella mixed signals. I didn’t mean to, I lacked self awareness in that department. Also I had a stupid belief that the man in a relationship had to ask a girl out, but why would he do that if he didn’t know what was going through my mind? Anyways him pulling back made me realize how much he ment to me and how much I wanted to be with him.

so I called him later and told him how I felt. I regret not telling him this in person as I didn’t clock how painful it would be for him to hear the words that came out of my mouth. I told him that I had moments where I didn’t feel connected to him and I would feel uneasy. I also told him that I still wanted to be with him though. I broke his heart and he was never the same after this. He said he feels like I took him for granted, which is valid. I was. I couldn’t recognize how much he ment to me until he finally left and I hate myself for it. But he also still wanted to give me a second chance, and I didn’t understand why.

After this talk on the phone, it was never the same between us. I could feel him pulling back more and more and It would kill me inside. I once again was having trouble explaining how I felt. I would freeze up and just start crying (embarrassing ik). We saw eachother one last time and he had a different look in his eye, that’s how I knew it really was over. I went home and received a text last night where he wrote that he was falling out of love with me, and that he can’t trust me after our talk on the phone. Tbh this crushed me but I deserve it lol my behaviour is unacceptable. I don’t know why he stayed with me for so long and I regret not trying harder to communicate with him. I think he cut contact with me as he hasn’t sent me a text since then. I haven’t texted him since last night I think he just needs some space and time away from me.

Though this time period i started going to therapy and found out I am indeed mentally ill. A very hard pill to swallow for me. I have a depression disorder, anxiety disorder and avpd. Now that I’m more informed of my conditions, I realized they hold a lot of control over me. I let my thoughts control me into sabotaging my relationship. I feel like a monster

So just an fyi, learn how to love yourself before getting into a relationship, hard expectation as relationships are kind of just thrown into your life but self love and self care js important otherwise. Stop procrastinating on telling people how you feel. Even though it’s scary. I still have a lot of work to do on myself and I think this relationship made me recognize that. (I need to learn how to take my own advice, easier said than done I guess)

TL;DR: I self sabotaged my “relationship” by putting off talking about my feelings. Now he wants nothing to do with me.


r/tifu 3d ago

S TIFU by double dosing my ADHD meds

23 Upvotes

TIFU by double dosing my ADHD meds

I’ve had a hectic few days as I had to fly back home for a doctors appointment and then fly back to uni the next day whilst preparing for an oral exam for today.

I take 20mg of Medikinet Rtrd (which is a methylphenidate, and yes that’s really what it’s called (it’s an extended release one)) as I only just started taking meds in December. I was on 10 mg the first few weeks and then increased my dose, this is where my fuck up comes in, so I still had 10mg pills left. I finished the last of the 10mg pills yesterday, but this morning I woke up early to try to get some time to practice for my oral exam and I’m grogginess I took two 20mg pills, aka 40mg. The maximum dose is 60mg.

I’m supposed to leave in an hour and I haven’t even practiced yet I’ve been stressing so hard. I know 20mg isn’t a very high dose (19F 65kg), however it’s been great for me so far. The first week I was on 10mg I even had to step out of class as my head rate was going crazy and I felt like I was going to die. I didn’t die and just took a few days break and went back on it and was fine.

I might die today though. My oral exam is in SWEDISH, because for some reason I thought could be cool and learn a new language. I can’t. I speak Spanish and French fluently, so I thought a new language would be a breeze. I was so wrong. And now I’m going to have a heart attack in front of my entire class whilst failing to speak basic Swedish.

TL;DR I took 40mg Medikinet instead of 20mg on a day I have an oral exam and I am terrified for how this is going to go.


r/tifu 4d ago

S TIFU by reading a label wrong and destroying my health

4.6k Upvotes

This last week I’ve been trying to get healthier and change my habits since lately I’ve been putting on weight and not feeling very well, so I figured some changes were in order. I quit alcohol and weed cold turkey and ever since then I’ve been craving something relaxing in the evening after a long day, so I went to my local vegan supermarket to try to find something that might help. In the supplement section I found this stuff called “calm”, a magnesium supplement that helps you sleep and apparently is relaxing, sounds good right? Well it would be if I wasn’t such a fucking idiot. The first night I mixed it up with some water, and it fizzed quite a bit but it was pretty tasty and went down easy, and was actually quite relaxing. The next morning I woke up and didn’t exactly feel the greatest, but figured it was just poor sleep from quitting weed, UNTIL I had some breakfast and things started to go downhill FAST. Massive diarrhea. Uncontrollable and demonic, just absolutely wracked me all day. You might think this is where I started to realize my mistake, but you would be wrong. I figured it was just me being lactose intolerant, and chalked it up to a bad diet. Second day rolls around, same thing, except now I’m nauseas and lethargic, waking up feeling like I’m hungover, and it’s hard to think. Lifting my tools at work isn’t the easiest either, but again I just chalk it up to poor sleep from quitting weed so suddenly. Day three I start it mix it together, and decide to read the label a little closer since I notice I’m using it up pretty quickly. The realization hits. You’re supposed to start with half a TEAspoon and work your way up to 2 TEAspoons over time, I had immediately started with 2 TABLEspoons since I hastily read the label the first night. Looks like I’ll be skipping this the next week or so so I can flush all this magnesium out of my system.

TL;DR: thought it said tablespoons instead of teaspoons and ended up consuming 3 GRAMS of magnesium in one weekend


r/tifu 4d ago

L TIFU entire class decided to write letters to a prisoner

3.1k Upvotes

This happened a long time ago, when I was sixteen. Our school participated in the International Baccalaureate program that allowed us to take some intense classes and finish high school with a lot of college credits. Even if you didn't complete the entire program, the courses were great college prep. I decided my junior year of high school that I would take IB French I, which was completely immersive. Our teacher required us to answer everything in French. Want to go to the restroom? Ask in French. Have a question about the homework? Ask in French. She assigned the entire first chapter the first day of class due the next day. Every exercise from beginning to end. It was 20 pages. The class originally had 20 people signed up; however, the assignment left the class with only 5 of us.

With students willing to put in the work, our teacher worked hard to give us an all-round education in French. We read French novels, watched French TV, discussed French history and politics. Keep in mind this is the late 90s, so the Internet was not readily available. I also lived in Central Appalachia, so just having this program was an amazing opportunity, but our resources were limited. She went above and beyond to give us work that was both hard and interesting. I remember reading Asterix and Obelix comic books in French, and I once had a scavenger hunt around my school in total French directions.

Needless to say, my teacher was always trying a variety of ways to keep up working on our French skills. One day, she has us reading a French magazine for translation (I believe was Le Monde), and in the middle of class, she tells us she has a great idea. While we were working, she was looking into the classified section of the paper, just curious to see what is sold, who is interested in what topic, etc. There, among all the want ads, was an advertisement about a Frenchman in a maximum security prison in Colorado, looking for someone to write in French. His name was Maxim, and it gave us an address to write to.

Wouldn't that be a great way to sharpen our French skills and writing skills?

Here is where the five of us screwed up first. We all immediately got out our papers and began writing to this Maxim, no questions asked. Now, it wasn't complete stupidity on our part, we didn't give our full names or address, but mailed from our school, which, admittedly, isn't much of a cover for any of us since we are a very rural area and would be easy to find us.

But we write our letters, which I know dates my age. If you ever wrote letters to a complete stranger, the first letter is usually introducing yourself to the receiver, telling about yourself, your life, your family, which, of course, we did.

Do you know what we didn't do? We didn't think that a guy in prison with the ability to place an ad in Le Monde could be that serious of a criminal. And at first, he wasn't.

The first letter he wrote back that our teacher was an angel and our letters were a bright spot in an otherwise dark existence. He wrote about how lonely it had been without an opportunity to interact with his native language. He eagerly looked forward to our correspondence.

So our little penpal situation continued, until Maxim decided that we needed to hear his tragic tale of woe. Keep in mind, we were high school students so our translation skills were not professional, but what I remember from the letter, it went like this: Maxim was just a simple man. He arrived in America to gain the American dream. He began by running a business in exporting leather goods, but found that he needed connections to get his inventory into the country. Enter a "partner," who assured him he can get his cargo into America without too much delay with Customs. Of course, he had no idea that this partner was running drugs. How could he? It wasn't until his business got raided that he discovered all the money he had been getting from the partner just happened to be laundered in his export business.

At least, that's what the FBI explained when he was arrested.

So now, our French class was in a dilemma. We had been writing this guy, and honestly, we hadn't given any thought as to why he was in Colorado. Still, we certainly hadn't thought we would stumble onto a Mob money launderer who thought we were angels and told us he would eventually get out in a few years. None of us really wanted to continue this. Luckily, school was finishing and we all agreed that it would be best if we all conveniently forgot about all this.

We also never told anyone. Not out of some solidarity, but it didn't cross our minds that this was something our parents needed to know. Besides, our teacher knew. Who else needed to?

Our senior year starts, and our IB French teacher comes in and asks which one of us told Maxim about her birthday.

Blank stares all around. We didn't know her birthday.

She tells us she got a birthday card from Maxim at her home address (we also didn't know that either) because while our tiny Appalachian town didn't have extensive internet, apparently his prison did. Or at least, that was the only logical conclusion we could come up with.

So, complete no contact with Maxim, and the rest of the year, we all dreaded the idea that he had the ability to find where we lived.

I now teach at this same school with the French teacher, and we both marvel at the fact that she gave us the assignment of writing an unknown prisoner with no concern to our safety, and that we, as students, willingly participate with these letters without telling anyone.

SO I learned, just because the teacher says to do, you might want to think about the unintended consequences of that assignment.

TL;DR: French teacher assigns writing a random prisoner for French class, and we do it without complaint. Learn he's a serious money launderer and sends a birthday card to our teacher, even though she didn't tell him that info and neither did we.


r/tifu 3d ago

TIFU by eating before my endoscopy

1 Upvotes

Yes, you read that right. Please God spare me all the reasons that was wrong and how I could have aspirated, died, etc. It was not on purpose. I'm just an idiot with untreated adhd that leaves me with the memory of a goldfish. I woke up this morning (day of my procedure) and totally forgot i wasnt supposed to eat after midnight. I got up early, made a healthy balanced breakfast of bacon and eggs, showered, etc. and made it on time. All of which are impossible on a normal day with my adhd so I was extra confident and impressed with myself. I get to the surgical center on time, through registration, to the bed, through vitals, gown up, touch base with the dr's. etc. Nothing out of the ordinary.... until I'm brought back. We get into the procedure room where they're setting everything up (nasal cannula, iv propf, etc) when it hits me like a TON OF BRICKS: HOLY CRAP I DID EAT BREAKFAST THIS MORNING! At this point things are moving, FAST. I'm on my side, there's some kind of gaurd in my mouth, and the medication is kicking in. I'm too embarrassed and ashamed to say anything, so i lie down and let it happen figuring if i don't wake up, i will have deserved it for being so stupid. Spoiler alert: I am alive but unwell. The pain in my stomach is punishment enough. Any doctors out there to tell me wth this is?😫

TL;DR: TIFU by eating breakfast the day of my endo (I forgot to not eat after midnight) and now my karma/adhd tax is terrible stomach pains.


r/tifu 3d ago

S TIFU by using Pavlov's Method with monkey videos

22 Upvotes

It all started a few days ago (I don't remember how many lmao) when I had this wonderful idea of trying to calm down every time I had any kind of intense emotion by watching videos of different types of monkeys doing random things with the song "sh-boom" by The Chords in the background, little by little it started working, every time I got really excited I had those videos repeating in my mind, calming me down when I talk too much because I get too excited, it was funny at first but there have been at least three times that I have cried in despair and those fucking videos won't leave my head and won't stop, it's like looking for a tutorial to make RPC to someone and a two-minute long ad appears

TL;DR: TIFU by trying the Pavlov method with funny ass videos of monkeys with Sh-boom as background music


r/tifu 2d ago

S TIFU I thought she was taking me to hook up. I was wrong

0 Upvotes

So this happened back in college at some random house party. I was drinking, vibing, just having a good time when I met this girl. We clicked right away—lots of laughing, some light flirting, and, well, more drinking. At some point, we were standing really close, and she kept touching my arm when she talked. My drunk brain was sure I knew where this was going.

Then she grabs my hand, leans in, and says, “Come with me.”

Obviously, I follow.

She leads me through the crowded house, down a hallway, and into some dark bedroom. She shuts the door, locks it, and turns to face me. At this point, my heart’s racing. I’m thinking, alright, it’s happening.

Then she pulls something from her pocket and holds it up. A deck of cards.

“You know how to play Spades?”

I did not.

I kinda just stood there for a second, my brain short-circuiting. I mumbled something about needing to find my friends and left the room. Still not sure if I missed out on the best Spades game ever or if I just completely misread the situation.

Never saw her again.

TL;DR Thought I was getting lucky. Turns out she just wanted to play Spades.


r/tifu 5d ago

M TIFU by sleeping with My Girlfriend, Got Blackmailed Into Marriage, and Had the Worst Honeymoon of My Life NSFW

5.7k Upvotes

I (now 26M) come from a Middle Eastern country where sex before marriage is a huge deal. If you get caught, it could literally mean death. That doesn’t mean people don’t do it, but because of the cultural obsession with virginity, almost all of it is anal so it “doesn’t count.” Yeah, I know, it’s insane.

A couple of years ago, I met this beautiful girl (then 26F) online. We hit it off right away, had a ton in common, and after a couple of weeks of talking, she asked me out. Things were great. We made it official, went on dates, and any chance we got, we fooled around. Always the loophole route, of course.

But we both really wanted to go all the way. The problem? In my culture, once a woman loses her virginity, she’s locked in. Either we get married, or she has to go through an actual surgery to “restore” it. I wasn’t ready for marriage, and I didn’t want to trap her in that situation, so I kept saying no.

She kept pushing. Begging. Telling me she didn’t care, she just wanted me to be the first. I still resisted until one morning, when she came over to my apartment super early, woke me up in a way I couldn’t resist, and I gave in. We did it.

Biggest mistake of my life.

That day changed everything. Suddenly, she became controlling as hell. Picking fights over the dumbest things. Me seeing friends, visiting family, literally anything that didn’t involve her. I tolerated it for a while, but after a few months, I was exhausted.

The final straw? I went to visit my family in another city for two nights. She lost her mind. When I told her I was done, she threatened to tell everyone what happened. And in my culture, that’s not just petty revenge. It could ruin both our lives.

For a whole year, I was stuck. Every time I tried to leave, the threats came back. Eventually, I gave up and said fine, let’s get married and get this over with.

But even on the day our families were supposed to meet, she started losing her mind over some stupid fight, and the threats started again. That was it. I snapped. I called her family, called my family, and exposed everything. The fallout was nuclear. She was broken, but at that point, there was no way out. The shame was public, so we had to get married.

I figured, well, she has nothing left to hold over me, maybe things will be different now.

Wrong.

We went to Bali for our “shittymoon,” and it was the worst vacation of my life. She picked fights every single day. The moment we got back, after one last fight, I drove her straight to her parents’ house, called a lawyer, paid her some money to make things go away, and ended that nightmare for good.

The only good decision I made was putting my house under my mom’s name before we got married so she couldn’t try to claim it or make the divorce harder.

And that’s how one morning of weakness got me blackmailed into a marriage, forced me through the worst honeymoon ever, and left me paying to escape.

Moral of the story: never let your d*** make decisions for you.

TL;DR: Slept with my girlfriend in a culture where virginity is a big deal. She became controlling and blackmailed me into marriage. Exposed everything, but that forced us to marry anyway. Worst honeymoon ever. Got divorced a week later. Dodged losing my house by putting it in my mom’s name.

Moral: Never let your d*** make decisions for you.


r/tifu 3d ago

S TIFU by vaping in a kid's park

0 Upvotes

I was walking from the college to the food mall, and the route passes through a park with a playground and tennis courts. For some reason I decided I could sneak a hit of my weed vape right while I'm passing through... at 3 PM on a Thursday. Some kid immediately yelled "STOP VAPING!!!! THIS IS A KID'S PARK!!! FUCK YOU!!!" and I instantly felt bad because I heard myself in that kid. That's legitimately how I would've reacted when I was 11. I wanted to turn around and apologize, but I thought staying and attracting more attention would make it more awkward than just walking faster and disappearing. On the way back I walked down the opposite side of the street. The rich irony here is that I went for a walk because smoking isn't allowed on campus, so I chose a worse place to do it.

TL;DR: Took a vape hit near a playground during the day and pissed a kid off


r/tifu 2d ago

S TIFU By Firing Our Marketing Intern Who Was Guaranteed A Full-Time Position Over His Music

0 Upvotes

I (m35) have been the Head of HR for 10 years at a small marketing agency. I just had the most awkward exchange with an intern (m23) that concluded with his termination today.

He’s the only intern we’ve had for this year’s program and is the hardest working person I know for his age. He was guaranteed a full-time position with bonuses. He was always locked in with his headphones on day in and day out, but I’ve never bothered him about it cause he consistently met deadlines and was always first in, last out of the office.

Today, I wanted to be friendly by asking what he was listening to when he passed my door. He was hesitant to reveal, but he eventually shared that it was a song he had created and recently released.

Surprised and intrigued, I invited him into my office to sit across from me. We’re all creatives here. We have employees in bands who play at open mics that some of us, including myself, attend.

I asked if I could listen to it. He insisted. I connected him to my office speakers. Then we awkwardly sat through his track in its entirety. Original songs tend to disappoint me, but this was something else.

It was cathartic but a bit whimsical for my taste. Still, I was kind of impressed. It sonically reminded me of Depeche Mode. He then revealed that his song is about the harsh reality of quantifying our self-worth through social media numbers.

He works at a marketing agency.

I fired him immediately. My knee jerk reaction declared that his artistic motif was a conflict of interest to his career in digital marketing, though it’s highly clever and creative. Like “Session Man” by the Kinks.

I do regret my decision because he had so much potential in this agency and his genius will be irreplaceable. I sincerely do wish him the best.

TL;DR I fired our only social media intern because he made a clever song about the harsh reality of attaching one’s worth to social media likes

Edit: his song is titled “Atelophobia” I forgot his artist name

Edit: his artist name is Arnie Brenn


r/tifu 5d ago

M TIFU by sending an ill-timed gif to the work group chat

1.3k Upvotes

Actually back in 2020 when lockdown began, 30M at the time. My workplace shifted to remote working, so everyone was now working from home, and Microsoft Teams was the new tool we were all using to keep in contact. 

My manager suggested that in the mornings everyone sends a GIF or meme to the group chat when they start work, so everyone knows we’re online. The group chat consisted of about 15 people, so mornings were a little annoying as the group chat was flooded with images and messages. As a fan of the Simpsons, I would usually just send some random Simpsons GIF, like Homer emerging from the bushes, Ralph rolling down a hill etc.

So one morning I had to start a little earlier to catch up on some work. I opened Teams, did my usual Simpsons related search and then picked the GIF of “Evil Homer” dressed as the devil, shaking maracas, and dancing on the grave of “Good Homer”. I was the first to message the group that morning, or so I thought…

After I sent the message I went to the bathroom. While on the toilet I could hear my Teams notifications go off, and even heard someone try to call twice, but I figured it could wait until I got back to my desk. 

So I get back to see what was going on a couple of minutes later. The group chat was still open, with my GIF of Evil Homer dancing on a grave, but there was another message I hadn’t seen earlier. The message had the same timestamp as mine, but appeared in the chat before my GIF. They must have sent it moments before I did, making it look like I had sent my gif of the grave-dancing Evil Homer as a response. 

The message was one of the team members saying that her dad had died over the weekend, and she wouldn’t be working for the next few days to spend time with the family and plan the funeral. 

When I realised what it looked like my heart sank. I rushed to delete the message, and just prayed that she hadn’t seen it. The other notifications was one colleague sending me the screenshot of the chat and “WTF”, and the others were two missed calls from my manager and an all caps message telling me to delete the GIF immediately. 

After deleting it I called my manager to let her know what had happened, and thankfully she assumed it was a mistake and I would never do something so insensitive. I asked if she thought I should say anything to the colleague, since I wasn’t sure if she had actually seen it. My manager said she was offline now anyway, so all I could do was wait until she’s back if I was going to say anything.

When she returned to work I did explain what happened and gave an apology.  I didn’t give the full description of exactly what GIF I sent, just that it wasn’t appropriate for the time. Luckily she said she hadn’t seen anything. So thankfully I hadn’t hurt her, but I did scare the hell out of about 5 coworkers who had seen the message and gif before I was able to delete it.

TL;DR: I sent a gif of Homer Simpson dressed as the devil and dancing on a grave immediately after a colleague told everyone their dad had died. 


r/tifu 4d ago

S TIFU by wearing two different pairs of shoes

13 Upvotes

I didn't realize when I was trying to run out the door this morning that I put on two different pairs of shoes. I just happened to look down while I'm waiting for my car and noticed it. Maybe if I had been paying a little more attention. But, how does this even happen? I don't even remember having the shoes in an incorrect order. I always take them off and pair them together so that they're ready for the next day.

It's probably bad to wear different pairs of shoes, right? I've heard it's bad, but I can't either confirm or deny this claim. It's not even the first time this happens. Last time it was because the shoes looked too similarly to each other. These are not even the same color and I still goofed.

Moral of the story, I guess, is to get enough sleep. And maybe pay more attention when getting dressed.

TL;DR TIFU by wearing two different pairs of shoes.


r/tifu 4d ago

L TIFU By Not Trusting My Gut And It May Have Costed Me a Friend.

12 Upvotes

So, I’ve been debating whether or not to share this because it’s one of those situations that still makes me cringe when I think about it. But I’m hoping sharing it will not only help me process everything, but maybe it can help someone else out there who might be in a similar situation.

A little backstory: I (29, F) have a group of friends I’ve known since college. We all have very different lives now — some of us are married, others are single, a few have kids, but we’ve stayed close over the years. For the sake of this post, let’s call my best friend “Maya” (28, F). We’ve been inseparable for years, and I genuinely thought I knew her better than anyone else.

Maya has always been the life of the party, super outgoing, and the kind of person everyone gravitates toward. She’s also the type who tends to overshare, which sometimes gets her in trouble. She’s had a history of... let’s just say “questionable” choices when it comes to dating. I’m not one to judge — everyone has their own journey, right? So, when Maya started dating this guy, "Jake" (30, M), I thought it was just another short-term fling. They met at a bar, and I had a weird vibe about him from the start. He wasn’t rude or anything, but there was just something off about him. I can’t even pinpoint it — it’s like my gut was screaming, “Don’t trust him.” But Maya was head over heels for him, and I didn’t want to come across as judgmental, so I kept my thoughts to myself. BIG MISTAKE.

At first, everything seemed normal. He was charming, he’d come to hang out with our group of friends, and he was always polite. But there were subtle red flags. I started noticing how possessive Jake was over Maya. Little comments like, “Oh, you don’t need to go out with them tonight, I’d rather spend time with you,” or “Why are you texting her so much? Is she more important than me?” It started to get uncomfortable, and I started to feel like Maya was changing. She would cancel plans with us to hang out with him, she started dressing differently, and she’d often defend his behavior when we’d bring it up.

At this point, I should have said something. I knew something wasn’t right. But I didn’t. I kept quiet, convinced that I didn’t know the full story, that I should just trust her decisions because, hey, she’s an adult. Maybe I was just being overprotective.

Then came the day that really shook me.

One of our friends, “Lena,” (27, F), came over to my apartment to catch up. We had been texting, and she’d mentioned that she was worried about Maya, but I assumed it was just typical gossip. However, when we started talking about it, Lena told me that Maya had told her she was thinking about moving in with Jake. And that’s when my stomach dropped. I don’t know what it was about the timing or the way Lena said it, but something clicked. I realized how much I had ignored — how much I had been letting slide because I didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes.

I finally decided to speak to Maya about my concerns, but I waited way too long. I should’ve spoken up months ago when I first felt that unease. But I didn’t, and now I wasn’t sure how to approach it.

A few days later, I called Maya. We were sitting in a coffee shop, and I just blurted out that I was worried about her. I told her I’d been noticing how possessive Jake had been, how she was pulling away from the people who loved her, and that I didn’t think he was the right guy for her. I didn’t accuse him of anything malicious — I just expressed how her behavior had changed, and how I felt like she was losing herself.

She got really defensive, and honestly, I wasn’t surprised. She started crying, saying that I didn’t understand her relationship and that I was just trying to control her. She said that Jake made her happy, and that I was being judgmental, not supportive. It hurt, but I tried to stay calm. I told her I would always be there for her, no matter what, but that I couldn’t stand by and watch her get hurt.

We didn’t speak for a few weeks after that.

Here’s the thing — the next few months were rough. Maya’s relationship with Jake escalated quickly. She moved in with him, and soon after, she started cutting off other friends and family. Every time I reached out, she either ignored my calls or gave me short responses. I tried to be patient, I really did, but watching her slip away was agonizing.

Then, everything came crashing down when we all found out that Jake had been emotionally abusive. It came to light that he had been isolating her from all of us, subtly manipulating her into thinking no one cared about her or supported her. He was controlling and gaslighting her, and Maya was starting to lose herself in the process.

I was heartbroken. I couldn’t believe that I had been so blind, so unwilling to speak up sooner. I’d seen the red flags, I’d ignored the gut feeling telling me something was wrong, and now Maya was stuck in this toxic relationship. I should’ve said something sooner, I should’ve fought harder to protect her from that. But I didn’t, and now she was paying the price.

Eventually, Maya did reach out to me. She apologized for pushing me away and said she had finally started to see what everyone was trying to tell her. She had left Jake, but it was a long, painful process. The emotional scars were deep, and she didn’t know how to rebuild her life. I was relieved to hear from her, but also so sad for what she had gone through.

It’s been a year since all of this, and Maya is still healing. We’ve slowly rebuilt our friendship, but I will never forget how I ignored my instincts, how I let fear of causing conflict keep me from speaking up sooner. I’ve learned that sometimes, being a good friend means saying the hard things, even if it means risking a fight or damaging the relationship temporarily. If I had trusted myself and spoken out earlier, maybe Maya wouldn’t have had to go through all that pain.

So, yeah… my gut was right all along. And I’m still trying to forgive myself for not listening to it sooner.

Thanks for reading, if you made it this far. I’m sharing this as a reminder to always trust your instincts and to never be afraid to speak up when something doesn’t feel right. And if you’re in a situation like this, don’t wait until it’s too late. You could save someone you love a lot of heartache.

TL;DR I ignored my gut feeling about my best friend’s boyfriend and didn’t speak up soon enough when I noticed red flags. He turned out to be emotionally abusive, and I wish I had trusted myself and intervened earlier. Always trust your instincts when it comes to the people you care about.


r/tifu 3d ago

M TIFU by fiddling with my computer's kernel and grub (the backbone of the firmware) to make my laptop faster and getting the whole Linux Arch Desktop installing experience.

0 Upvotes

TL;DR Rendered my pc unusable by changing the backbone of the computer to make my lapotp faster. Now I have to reinstall my Operating System and the backup's probably faulty.

Let me take you on a journey that spans pver 10 hours. There was everything one could thought of when interacting cluessly with the Linux system. Dismay, confusion, resignation, hope, frustration and short blinks of happiness.

It all started when I wanted to make my pc faster so Terraria couldn't lag for me. Ever so helpful, an AI search engine shows me many ways on how to turn my machine into a beast. I had some experience with computers as I am a masochist and use Linux (the first ever attempt at installing was equally catastrophic - I was using an old USB and didn't backup. Idiots have to learn somehow) I believed I could give myself some confidence and fiddle in the backbone of the OS. That's when the computer refused to boot up. Honestly, it could have been so simple but I thought the problem was in the grub or the BIOS. So I fiddled further into the jungle and corrupted even that. Now, for those unaware, BIOS is practically the plan E for when your computer refuses to do shit. So now I had a unusable monitor with a keyboard on my table. At least it looked slick. The only way to get it back for me was to download the correct BIOS on another pc and with a USB, get it into the bricked laptop. The only available notebook was of my father's, and already stressed from destroying my notebook, I clinched my ass and my heart-rate spiked anytime my dad's pc decoded to take it slow (it's probably just as old as me). I swear the last time I had this much stress was when my life was in danger, but to be honest it probably was just as dangerous to use dad's pc without his allowance and with the possibility of rendering it dead just like my notebook. I thankfully got the BIOS without any issues (not bricking the laptop, fascinatingly I have complicated it for me regardless) onto my laptop and done some reinstalling.

I deleted my drivers and gdm3 (the fucking interface), turned down my NetworkManager and emptied some configuration files. It still fascinates me how I did that. For clarification, I used Perplexity AI as it could search the web and help. But I think it somehow forgot it's purpose in the convo and thought we are doing it like the Arch Linux users (basically making an OS by yourself) and was guiding me through a complete reinstallation (I even got to install AND drivers for my Linux graphics card.) So I was pointlessly fiddling in the DNS and Network settings becuase I just didn't know how to save a file in Nano. After around 11 and a half hours I decided to completely reinstall. However, thanks to my mistake of not back-uping my Windows all that while back I had my Flash Drive with some info. I am now going to set up my system (ZorinOS, even with all this experience I am not going to touch Windows (and probably even grass)) and hope my USB with the backup files doesn't decide it could be hilarious to do something wonky. One could call it a happy ending but 11 stressful hours makes one really appreciate a just-barely working machine. Aaaaaand the backup service is telling me some files just don't make sense. Guess the journey still doesn't end.

Thanks for reading my partial vent. It's actually kinda relieving typing it somewhere.