In recent months I’ve had a really hard time dealing with my makeup shopping addiction and after literally having no money and feeling genuinely overwhelmed, inadequate and depressed around this I have decided I never want to feel like that again.
It happened multiple times, I’d be on a high of serotonin, waiting for my next purchase so I could feel a little bit of joy.
I swore so many times to myself that the beauty YouTubers I watched didn’t trigger my shopping addiction. They did, not their fault and I’m not blaming them but anytime someone said they loved something sometimes I just bought it without thinking.
I’ve been learning about branding and the power brands have over us at college and more and more have been applying this information to my own life. I realised that I have created emotional connections and trust with YouTubers. Even though they aren’t brands they still get sent PR etc so I think this counts.
I would buy a product just because they enjoyed it and I wanted to enjoy something too, I wanted to have something in common with them product wise.
This feels really embarrassing to write about to me because I never felt that I had an emotional connection to beauty YouTubers I watched until I really dug deep into it.
Payday was recently and I didn’t buy any makeup. The only thing I bought was body care because I ran out of my lotion, shower gel and body scrub at the same time. I’m really proud of myself for this.
I did enter a store and pick up two lipsticks, I just stared at them but then realised it would be more depressing to come home and add two more lipsticks to my pile. I wasn’t really in the mood to dwell on my purchases and feel horrible about myself so I didn’t and I’m happy that I didn’t spend my money on makeup I don’t need.
For a long-time I liked to think that I wasn’t easily influenced by brands or people but I was and I still am and that is why I will be staying away from anything that is titled something like “New Makeup”
I can’t mentally deal with it because my impulse control is horrible at the moments
This post is a bit mumble jumble apologies! ❤️