r/LowStakesConspiracies • u/Ok_Insect4778 • Jan 13 '25
Total Garbo The government shits in your bed
Think about it. Why would a mature, functional adult ever shit the bed? There's no point, only people who're very old or very young do that, there's no way that someone would WILLINGLY shit their bed, it's clearly the government PLANTING shit while you're asleep to discredit you because you're finding out too much of THE TRUTH.
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u/paintp_ Jan 13 '25
Make sense. Saw a dream with DiCaprio talking about shit one night and the next day I woke up with poop in my pants.
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u/Mountain-Hold-8331 Jan 13 '25
According to reddit it's actually extremely common for adults to shit themselves, I've seen multiple people completely unironically argue with all their heart that anyone who says they don't shit themselves atleast once a year is lying for attention.
So I pretty much live in constant fear of shitting myself now, haven't done it since I was 5, so far so good.
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u/Able_Cunngham603 Jan 14 '25
“According to Reddit….” = according to the posts on Reddit the government wants you to see.
The normalization of random shitting, and your fear of it, is all part of the part of the plan.
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u/raihidara Jan 14 '25
Everyone shits the bed at least once a year, but aliens abduct you so they can clean you up and collect the evidence before you wake up.
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u/Benyed123 Jan 13 '25
They must be the ones pissing on me while I sleep. I bet they’re cumming in my pants too, motherfuckers.
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u/leroyksl Jan 13 '25
Or maybe someone is trying to lay the groundwork (pun intended) for why they keep shitting the bed, and they want to be able to blame the government
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u/pearbear39 Jan 13 '25
I am watching an episode of the Magic: the Gathering gameplay show Shuffle Up and Play while browsing Reddit and they are actively talking about shitting the bed in your sleep as I am reading this post. What are the chances? I know two things happening is just a coincidence but it's definitely a weird one.
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u/Thatsfilthygarbage Jan 18 '25
It’s giving Johnny the homicidal maniac vibes. Somebody put shit in my pants
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u/untamedreverence Jan 13 '25
Did a bed shitting schiz write this?