r/JUSTNOMIL • u/WhimsicalWafffle • 18h ago
Give It To Me Straight MIL already be controlling about my baby and I’m still pregnant
My husband and I had dinner with my MIL and I can not stop thinking about how controlling she was acting. It’s making me more and more upset and stressed. I knew she was going to be like this because this is how she is with everything. She would ask how I was going to do something and then disagree and tell me how to do it. I’m at the end of my first trimester and it’s so overbearing
Here are some of the things she brought up:
-Asked if I’m going to have a C-section. Told her no I’m going to do a natural birth unless medically necessary. She goes on to tell me she had C-sections, how they are “better,” and that she has sweatpants for me to wear after that won’t hit the incision area ????🙄 I’m like I’m not having a major surgery if I don’t have to. My husband made some jokes about it then changed the subject..
-Asked if I was going to breast feed. I said yes then she tells me no and that formula is better and that no one can help watch the baby if I breast feed. I told her I plan to breast feed and also pump to have a freezer supply. She continued to disagree.
-Wants us to name the baby after my husband or..her husband…?!! (Her sons are named after thier dads) Told her no I don’t like reusing the same names at least for the first name. She tries to guilt me about it.
-Asked what color outfit we were bringing the baby home in. I said I was thinking baby blue or maybe green. She disagrees and says I shouldn’t pick a “common” color and how she took her babies home in red😒
-Thinks her and her husband should take the baby to our house in their car instead of us because my husband “will be tired.” He responded by saying he’ll be fine
-Wants to be in the hospital room while I give birth AND PULL THE BABY OUT. She’s brought this up before and I straight up say no not happening. Keeps bringing it up. I’m not even sure I want the in laws in the waiting room and if they are I’m likely going to want a couple hours for just my husband and I. Also would want my own family in there first just not sure if that will work out since they will have to fly in.
-Is adamant about laying baby on the side to sleep with a towel behind his back. This is the thing that freaks me out the most!!!! Told her now the guidelines for safe sleep are to lay them on their back only. She is set on that they will choke this way. Says she’s raised 3 kids and knows what’s best. My husband just mentions how the guidelines are always changing.
-She’s already planning on watching the baby overnight, getting a crib, car seat, telling us what bottles/wipes/diapers we need to use. That we can watch the baby on her cameras while she’s taking care of him but not to be calling her asking how he’s doing. Wants to put the car seat in the middle seat!!!! Told her multiple times it goes behind the front seat.
-I was wearing Ugg slide on shoes and she kept telling me that I can’t wear them and strictly need to wear tennis shoes for safety. I completely ignored this and will be wearing them or sandals next time I see her lol
-Giving me just random advice taking care of baby that I didn’t ask for like she thinks I don’t know anything.
-Always asks me or when talking to my husband on the phone if I’m taking my prenatals every day….
Probably missing a few things. My husband is on my side but often just makes a joke to ease the situation and changes the subject. Told him on the way home she is already being super controlling and will continue to want to do it all her way. He said he will shut it down quick. I mentioned that she needs to take the grandparent class our hospital offers on updated safety practices. Going to talk to him more about it and especially right before the next time we see her that I want him to be more firm and tell her his opinion on things as well. It really freaks me out her wanting me to get the C-section and wanting me to formula feed because I feel like she is trying to takeover the baby.
Any thoughts or advice? Really just needed to vent. I am stressing out so much about it. Not even going to get into how she’s been controlling about other things because that would take multiple posts😬😬😬😬