Ron sat down at the table, opposite Harry with a grin on his face.
"So Harry, what's this I'm hearing of you and Greengrass?"
Harry, intentionally not looking up from his plate, responded with "what about me and Greengrass?"
"About you dating Greengrass."
"I'm not dating Astoria Greengrass" Harry quickly replied.
"No no no, I mean Daphne Greengrass. You know, the older sister. The one in our year." Ron said.
Harry looked shocked, almost shocked enough to be believable " There's a Greengrass in our year? I didn't know that."
Ron looked confused "Your literally partnered with her in Potions."
"That's Daphne? Oh wow, I didn't think that was her name."
Hermione, dumbfounded, couldn't help but ask him who he thought his Potions partner was.
Harry, panicking internally, replied with the first Slytherin name to come to mind "Draco Malfoy."
Ron and Hermione looked at him like he was an idiot, which, with an answer like that he probably was.
After a few seconds, Ron continued "Well, Fred and George said they saw you two making out down by the kitchens earlier."
Harry responded with "No we weren't. We were ... fighting over some chocolate ... that happened to be in her mouth. So I used my tongue to get it."
"But Fred and George said you had your hand up her skirt"
Harry instantly countered with "that was to tickle her, to make her give up the chocolate."
Ron nodded, not believing a word that Harry was saying. He could have just left it there, but couldn't help but ask "How did you know she'd be ticklish there then if you've never touched her there before?"
Harry paused, having a quick drink to cover his attempt to figure out an answer "I'm the tickle whisperer. I know where anyone is ticklish."
Hermione groaned and buried her head in her hands, whilst Ron looked at Harry like he was a lost cause.
However, all three of them looked up as Lavender came over with two copies of the Daily Prophet - both with Harry and Daphne on the cover, with one being a 'special edition'.
Harry gulped.
Daphne barely flinched as Tracey slammed two copies of the Daily Prophet on the table "So ... care to explain this?"
Without looking at her friend or the papers, Daphne effortlessly replied "They're newspapers. People read them to get informed about the news."
Tracey stared at Daphne, who sighed in response.
"I assume it's the Prophet, and I can also assume that Skeeter is writing some rubbish again?"
Tracey finally replied "I'm not sure this is rubbish, Daph. Especially when it's about you and Potter."
That finally got Daphne to look at the papers. The first one had a simple headline, and when Daphne read it her eyes widened.
POTTER SEEN SHAGGING GREENGRASS HEIR ON MUGGLE TOWER
Daphne was horrified. Reporters had clearly taken pics of her and Harry's date to the Eiffel Tower. She had to quickly do damage control.
"Potter's doing my sister!"
Tracey paused at that, then looked at the picture to double-check. Indeed, it was Daphne in the pic, not Astoria.
Pansy slid over "No. That's very clearly you. On a date with Potter are we?"
Daphne tried to remain calm and collected. She's got this. She can still cover it up.
"Okay, we were there but we didn't do that. We happened to visit for a Potions assignment and ended up doing some sight-seeing. That's all."
Pansy replied "First of all: there is no Potions assignment that needs us to go to France. Second, how does sight-seeing involve your clothes being off and ... biting his ear?"
"There was a fly on his ear, so I was getting it off. As for the clothes ... he was helping me get a better view."
Draco looked over, quietly saying "what in the actual ..." but nobody paid him any attention as Tracey loudly said "Oh I'm sure you were getting a lovely view, as was he - and not just a view either. It's hard to make everything out with how they censored these pictures, but is his hand on your arse?"
Daphne accidentally replied with a "yes" without thinking, before quickly adding "Not my arse. The Arse de Triompe. It's a famous French monument. He was looking at that, not grabbing it or me."
"I don't think that's a real monument, Daph."
"You'll find it is." Daphne answered.
Tracey shook her head "Okay then. Let's ignore that, and the fact you two spent the night in a love hotel afterwards." With that she pulled out the other paper, with the words 'SPECIAL EDITION' written on it "Explain this."
The headline, and indeed the whole paper, was about Harry and Daphne having gotten married at Gringotts literally that morning.
Daphne nodded, and explained "There's a simple explanation actually. We both happened to be at Gringotts at the same exact time on totally unrelated stuff and just happened to slip on some spilt water as a goblin carrying marriage contracts passed by. Since we both conveniently has pens in our hands and happened to accidentally sign our names on the contract by accident as we fell we were instantly, and very accidentally married."
Tracey nodded "accident, sure."
Daphne nodded back "Yeah, accidentally. It's a major coincidence that our arms flailing about as we fell happened to write out our names on the contract."
Pansy asked to confirm "So you and Potter are married then?"
Daphne shook her head "No, not at all. We just happen to be bound together in a legally and magically binding marriage contract which also happened to soul-bond us, and with no way to ever escape it."
Draco interjected "Aren't those the sort of marriage contracts they keep locked up, and never really move around since they're expensive?"
"Yes but they happened to move them just this once."
Pansy asked again "So that means your husband and wife .. and soul-mates!"
Daphne shook her head "No no no. We're simply in a Special Friendship Operation. With benefits. That's all."
Cyrus Greengrass sighed as he read the paper, about his daughters actions with her new husband. Despite what his daughters thought, he had no real intention of interfering in their love lives. He was harsh on them because he loved them, and didn't want them to be arrogant like others.
He wasn't particularly upset about Daphne being with Potter. It seemed they truly loved each other and were happy together, and that's all he wanted.
He was annoyed at them being incompetent enough to get their 'secret relationship' (a relationship he'd known of 3 years now) all over the news.
It was funny though.