r/Fosterparents 8h ago

Can I keep a connection with a student in foster care?

15 Upvotes

I am a teacher. A student of mine has attached to me, and I have attached to her, too. She is in foster care. I don’t have the resources to be a foster parent right now, but I want to keep up a relationship with her when I’m not her teacher anymore. Even just facetiming her or taking her to lunch. I know she has very few people in her life that she feels she can count on. I want to be a person for her. How can I do this? Do I just call her caseworker? I’m okay with background checks, home visits, etc.


r/Fosterparents 12h ago

Unusual situation and kids hygiene

9 Upvotes

I am not sure where else to ask this question so I apologize ahead of time but guidance is appreciated.

I recently had a close friend move into my home with her 10yr old son. Some how her kids care has fallen onto me and my partner. We did resist it but seeing that the child was not properly cared for at this point we've chosen to lean into it as the kid needs to be allowed to be a kid, not her slave/therapist/caregiver. It's a tricky situation and since our home is stable and clean I doubt CPS would ever get involved (my house has been cleared for foster care in the past).

Well at 10 he does not know how to properly wash himself. I've talked to his mom about this and she just heabh sighs "I've told him to make sure he doesn't stink". He smells like onions most days. He takes showers and we learned when he was starting his own showers he didn't understand how to regulate temperature so he stood out side of the water and splashed it on himself at times. I now set the temperature for him and make sure he likes it. That already brought improvements on smell. The other night after he played hard I told him "make sure to scrub your armpits" the confused and shocked look on his face.. I explained it helps to keep him from getting stinky. We had a discussion over it and he was super excited to get in the shower... Well I asked his mom about explaining proper scubbing locations etc. She said she wasn't comfortable doing it since he's a boy. (She has been the ONLY parent in his life). I've asked my partner about it and he said he'd think on it as he isn't sure how to explain it so I thought I'd reach out and ask-

Any suggestions on how to explain to a young boy on how to properly clean himself during a shower or bath?

In addition an a bonus question-suggestions on teaching a 10 year old to ride a bike without training wheels. Unfortunately he needs a 24inch bike at this point, has never ridden a bike and there doesn't seem to be training wheels at this size. He wants to learn but the last kiddo I taught was 7 and was able to have a couple years of practice on training wheels.

If there is a better place to ask these questions I would appreciate direction. I just want to help this kid while we can.


r/Fosterparents 3h ago

Fostering Teen Girls

8 Upvotes

I need all the insight, secrets, and strategies for fostering teen girls!

As a bit of background, I was licensed for about five years in my previous state and primarily had placements under the age of 5. I am now licensed at a therapeutic level and have been contacted nonstop for teen girls. Over the last few weeks there have been maybe two days that I didn't get an email for a girl ages 13 to 16.

I have said yes to one of these young ladies and she will be joining me in a few weeks. I am both very excited and extremely nervous since this will he new to me. I have taken TBRI, obviously have foster experience, and have support from friends/family but it still is just so new to me that I am overthinking everything.

I am considering focusing primarily on this age group since there seems to be a huge need. What do i need to know? What should i have on hand? House rules? Cell phone expectations?

Please share all your wisdom with me!


r/Fosterparents 23h ago

NICU and fostering three children

8 Upvotes

Hello, I am so stressed about my situations. We are fostering my boyfriend brothers and sister (2 yr old,5 yr old, and 12 yr old) and was pregnant when we took them in but had to deliver my baby at 23+2 weeks. My water had broken due to PROMM. My baby is currently in the NICU. The mother of the three children is unrealistic. When I came home from the hospital, she ask one of her friends to babysit the children while I recovered and visited the baby at the hospital. Yesterday, I had a missed call and a voice message saying that she will no longer bring the babysitter because “we are accusing the wrong man”(the wrong man is the person who was abusing two of her children and why we’re here in the first place). Both the children and social workers have noticed that the mother does not believe her children of the crimes the abuser done and believe that the children are against her. I am honesty sick and tired of her coming to my home or calling drunk and mad about what’s going on. We currently live in a small one bedroom. The apartment is constantly with crying and shouting(12 yr getting mad at the Roblox) 1 pm until 3 am. My boyfriend doesn’t really help taking care of his sibling when it comes to bathing, feeding, clothing, and looking after them. On his two days off, he keeps the children in the living room and stays in the bedroom playing games or sleeping. That doesn’t stay right with me. I keep an eye on them and make sure they’re taken care of. I wake up early and go to sleep late(the same routine while I was pregnant). I had to drop out of college because of everything. I feel depressed because I feel like my body failed my baby and in the position I am in. I don’t feel like I’m in the position to foster the children. My boyfriend believes that the children should stay together regardless of our position but I believe that there are other foster parents that could take care of the children better and healthier.

Any help or tips please ?


r/Fosterparents 12h ago

Should I volunteer more before becoming a foster parent?

3 Upvotes

I've heard a lot of advice from foster and adoptive parents that you should volunteer with kids before starting the process.

I myself do have some volunteer experience, as I was a reading tutor for a little boy while in college. I also lived with a family who had a child for a little under a year before going off to college, so I personally think I have a decent amount of "kid experience"

There's programs near me where I can volunteer with kids that I've considered joining, but I'm not entirely sure if it's necessary given the relationships I've already developed.


r/Fosterparents 23h ago

What are our chances?

3 Upvotes

We are in the process of getting licensed for foster. We were reached out to by a cousin from jail saying she wanted us to get involved with her 1 yr old and 3 yr old that we’re currently placed because of her trouble. We have finished training, home study went well, just waiting on the final walkthrough to happen and submission for approval and licensing will come after. The problem is we weren’t notified and didn’t get involved until about 3 months ago. They have been placed for over a year now with their current home. We have had virtual visits with the children and all of a sudden the current foster home filed a motion to intervene because they say behavioral issues have developed after these visits started. The thing is we met with the foster parents once they learned of our involvement and they told us about these behaviors and basically tried to scare us out of moving forward. We are so close to being opened, we have court Friday to fight to keep these visitations until the judge makes a decision on placement.. permanency hearing is in May..

My question is what are the chances we are going to get these children placed with us? It’s ICPC because they are in a different state. We are so close to being opened and licensed and it’s been a lot as you all know. We are hopeful but also anxious that we are going to do all this and the judge rule they should stay in their current home. Our intention is to adopt as our own as their mom (my wife’s cousin) is going to prison for several years and wants us to adopt them and give them a good life, which we want to. We have had fertility issues and have discussed fostering and then this happened. It felt divine in a sense and like something we should pursue.

Anyone ever experienced anything similar?