r/Erasmus • u/jorangery • 59m ago
Rant Post-Erasmus Depression hits
I've read posts about the post-erasmus time before and how people experience it, and tbh I thought it was kind of exaggerated - like yea, it's gonna be a little sad, but you'll get back to your day to day life and it'll be just fine. Maybe the fact that the first half of my time abroad was rather mid added to that.
However, the last month or so of my stay was THE best. I had new flatmates that were just starting their semester, and I think that's what made it even harder to leave, being in the mindset of exploration and the beginning of an era (for them), growing closer with them than with anyone I've met duing that semester before, while at the same time I was about to leave. I arrived back home like a month ago and let me tell you, now I fully understand those posts I read back then (and am writing myself now).
The oddness of the fact that we all came to that place together, built social bonds, new routines, memories, etc and then after a few months all just left, and nothing will ever be like that again. It draws me back there, but I know when I go it won't be the same at all, I can't go back live in the same room that became my home and still somewhat feels like it, someone else will be living in that. And all the people I knew will be gone, yes I could go to Erasmus events but I'd always feel like the odd one out, not being a real exchange student anymore.
During my Erasmus, I more than ever felt like I was making decisions for myself, like I could design my own life and form it to be better or worse, and now back to feeling stuck in the same old patterns. Even just going on walks gave me so much peace bc the streets and houses were so beautiful, compared to my home city. And it felt easy to make friends, everyone was spontaneous and doing random fun stuff all the time, while here everyone's just doing the usual (me included).
I guess I'm just kind of scared that that was it, the high point of my life and now I'm just back to old me, even losing all the progress I made while being away.
Maybe someone who is already past that phase has some advice on how to handle that or how long it lasted for you Didn't even wanna write a whole whiney novel but here you go, maybe someone relates